Author: Chaplain

  • Freed to Lead No One

    YHC started running at 515 with the goal of picking up some runners and Ruckers at 6am. The F3 parking area appeared to be empty, so I pushed on for 9 miles total. Had to say hello and bounce as Purple Rain and company arrived for the bootcamp. Sorry I missed it!

  • The Mysterious Case of the Phantom Q Sheet

    Confusion abounded as 13 men expected either a Chaplain or Machismo Q……….But the Dark Lord was able to use the power of the Forgecast to seize control. It was time to put in some work.

    Slaughter start on the Grassy Knolls. Bear Crawl up, Lunge across the top, run down.

    Warm Up: Side Straddle Hops, Ukranian Soldiers, Arm Circles, Shoulder Taps, Freddy Mercuries,

    to the Curb for: Butt Kicks, Knee Pulls, Bernie Sanders, Mummy Kicks, Open the Gates, Mario Jumps, etc.

    Mosey to the HIll for Exercise One: Mega Crabs

    Not to be confused with Super Crabs – this is a 24 count exercise that involves 10 count crab walks, 2 crab cakes, and two hand release merkins. Repeat and make your way down the hill.

    Exercise Two: Indigenous People’s Run
    Run around the lower parking lots, stopping whenever it was my turn to sprint for Ab Exercises: 50 LBC’s, 25 Boxing Cockroaches, 100 Alabama Prom Dates, 30 Heels to Heaven.

    Exercise Three: Triple Check
    Balls to the Wall, Bobby Hurley’s, run down the stairs and up the hill.

    Exercise Four: Mount Monkey Hump
    From the base of Mt. Chaplain: 10 Monkey Humpers in the parking lot. Increase by 10 at each parking lot as you make your way to the summit. Maxed out at 60.

    Back to the Flag just as time expired.

    Numbers/Names/Announcements/Prayer Requests (Last Call’s Friend)

    YHC took us out

    Final Thoughts: Initially thought I was being pranked as Machismo had reportedly signed up for the Q. Looking forward to see what he has in store next week. Strong work by the PAX who appeared to embrace the Mega Crabs and other offerings. As is typical, lots of juvenile humor surrounding the ADP’s and Monkey Humpers. The attractive female manning the school security cameras will never be the same again.

    SYITG

  • Never Trust a Big Butt and Smile

    Words of wisdom………but I am here to talk about a kettlebell workout. Here is a brief summary for your viewing pleasure:

    Mosey to the port-o-john area for Warm Up:
    Arm Circles, Don Quixote’s, Ukranian Soldiers, Copperhead Squats, Mummy Kicks, Bruce Lee Punches.

    Mosey back towards the flag and grab the Kbells

    Exercise One: Self Dora
    100 curls – run after each set of 25
    200 squats – run after each set of 50
    200 LBC’s – run after each set of 50

    Exercise Two: One Pax carries their Kettle and 30 LB ruck plate across the parking lot and back. They call an exercise, which the rest of the group does for the duration:

    Merkins, Merkin pull throughs, WWII’s w/lift, Squats, Curls, Upright Row, Lawnmower Pulls, Overhead Press, Bend Overs (??), Calf Raises, Forearm Curls…. this went on for awhile, so I am probably missing some.

    Exercise Three: Bench press x 50, Bench Press x 40, Bench Press x 30.

    Back to the Flag for Numbers/Names/Announcements/Prayer requests

    YHC took us out

    Final Thoughts: The backblast title refers to the Bell Biv Devoe classic, “Poison” which was part of yet another legendary Chaplain soundtrack. Purple Rain had apparently never heard the song. Conversely, it was Hermey’s jam back in the day. Overall, a great effort by the PAX. Really enjoyed leading this morning. If you haven’t made it down to the Deep South for Old Hundred – would highly recommend.



  • Pre-Party

    House Party and I knocked out a run before the newly minted “Twin Team Lounge” opened for business. We stuck to our normal Robious Road Corridor route. HP was able to offer some excellent advice on dealing with some complex extended family issues – much appreciated! Made it back just in time for Last Call’s epic workout.

    SYITG

  • B Dub Run Club

    Everyone’s favorite running duo hit the streets prior to Honeymoon’s legendary 1000th workout. We did our usual flat and fast route past James River High School and up Robious Road. Great conversation about housing for registered sex offenders and other fascinating topics. House Party took one for the team on the spider web front. We made back just as the Twin Team crowd was gathering………..A good time was had by all.

    SYITG

  • 4 or 5 Finger Death Punch

    6 running enthusiasts hit the streets of the Bettie Weaver/James River HS Complex for the latest rendition of River Run. The following is a very brief summary for your viewing pleasure.

    Off the main road, complete 4 or 5 out and backs (fingers). Left past the High School, turn around at Robious and back. Straight into Robious Landing Park – run to the river and loop through the parking lot and back. Left into Tarrington – straight until the road ends at a roundabout; circle back. Left on Forgot Name of Road, turn around at the end of the cul-de-sac and back. 5 milers added in the road directly across from the start – run to the end and run back. Mileage seemed a bit short so we added on a loop around the school at the end. Bullseye and Wedding Singer ran up to Robious and back.

    Final Thoughts: Had a great time running with my 2.0’s and the other PAX. It is very dark in Robious Landing park and headlamps are recommended – luckily we had Doozy lighting the way. Nice cool weather made for a great morning.

    SYITG

  • West End Assembly of Humpers

    5 Crossing regulars gathered for a workout that paid homage to everyone’s favorite exercise: The Monkey Humper. The following is a brief summary for your viewing pleasure:

    Mosey lap around the church parking lot. Circle up for Warm-Up exercises: Ukranian Soldiers, Helicopters, Apple Bottom Poppers, Shoulder Taps, Alabama Prom Dates, Hello Dollies, Flutter Kicks, I may have missed a few.

    Mosey to the Monkey Dome (fenced in area beside the parking lot)

    Exercise One: 10 rounds of Monkey Humpers with 10 seconds rest.
    Start with 10, work up to 100

    Exercise Two: Travel Across the field doing various Monkey Humper themed exercises
    1. Monkey Lunges (5 lunge walks, 5 monkey humpers, repeat)
    2. Flying Monkey Humpers (Broad jump, 5 Monkey Humpers, repeat)
    3. Bernie Humpers (Bernie 5 steps, 10 Monkey Love Makers)

    50 Gorilla Humpers before you exit the Monkey Dome

    Mosey to the parking lot and grab a Cinderblock for Exercise Three

    Half the Pax runs across the parking lot with Cindy’s – others do Monkey Humpers, then switch.

    Round Two: same pattern, but Monkey Love Makers (slow Monkey Humpers)

    Exercise Three: Alternating Cinderblock and Monkey Humpers
    20 curls, 20 Monkey Humpers
    40 Bench Press, 40 Monkey Humpers
    20 Tricep extension, 20 Monkey Humpers
    20 overhead press, 20 monkey Humpers

    40 LBC’s with block, 40 Monkey Humpers

    Back to the Flag for 1 plus minutes of, you guessed it: Monkey Humpers until time is called

    Numbers/Names/Announcements/Prayer Request

    YHC took us out

    Final Thoughts: Monkey Humpers definitely get challenging if you do enough. We didn’t get an accurate count on total Monkey Humpers completed – all agreed that it had to be over 1000. Appreciate the PAX’s efforts! Got a give a shout out to Banksy who pulled the double today (Ruckhenge and The Crossing) and also signed up for a VQ! Keep it up. Tryhard pulled in as we were finishing up and unveiled our new gangster F3 Banner.

    SYITG

  • Ruck N Roll

    A terrible backblast title…….but an excellent workout this morning! Draper and I hit the streets at 6am sharp. The route took us through the paved trails, and we made a stop at the lake to check out the sunrise. Lots of large birds about! Excellent conversation with my WEAG brother.

    SYITG

  • LIFO

    YHC was coming in hot………..then left before Twin Team started. House Party and I decided on a complex route that featured turning right on Robious, running for awhile, then turning around and running back. HP narrowly avoided disaster after tripping on the sidewalk. Luckily, he was able to use his agility and athleticism to stay upright. Great conversations and a nice smooth run overall.

    SYITG

  • The Lost Boat Slips of Tarrington

    No runners today – but luckily I always have my ruck loaded and ready to go. 3 distinguished gentlemen hit the surprisingly busy streets of Rockwood Park at 6am sharp. We did the full paved nature trail and approximately 2 laps around the main road. Great conversation that included the Tarrington neighborhood; which inspired the backblast title, as well as alcohol (types and where to consume). We had a quick pace and the sweat was flowing with the high humidity. The PAX made it back in under an hour, just in time for the Boberry/Rubble beat down. As always, it was an honor to lead.

    SYITG