Author: Lab Rat

  • The Widest Ultimate Field of All Time

    An old Polish joke:

    After a particularly nerve wracking landing, the pilot of Polish Airlines flight 704 wipes the sweat from his brow and turns to the co-pilot:

    -Pilot:  WOW!  Was that not the shortest runway you’ve ever seen?!?

    -Co-pilot:  YEAH!  But look how WIDE it is!

    14 pax showed up this morning to see what this Ultimate thing was all about.  A few followed directions and brought a light and dark shirt, but most didn’t.  Posh rolled in late to provide black shirt team with a rotation to keep play at the legal ULTIMATE number of 7 on 7!  For Phonics and I, this was deja vu, as I didn’t change a thing from last week’s run from DaVille.  For those of you that didn’t read that, we did a quick loosen up COP, followed by a Lindsay around the field to get in some merkins and situps, and establish teams.  The first to finish is 1, on down to the last, who was 14.  Evens were black shirts, odds were white.  We were a couple shirts shy of having enough whites, so Honeymoon wore pink and Lab Rat went “Girls Gone Wild”.

    Before the game got started, however, DK had to do some field maintenance.  I arrived early enough to set the cones along the field, but was horrified to discover that the chalk lines were not visible any longer.  I did my best, but left a little too much room in the width department.  Several volunteers RAN out to help….to which Phonics noted I did not ask him to go.  He was grounds crew last week and was somehow slow to get the job done.  The southside boys were ready to play though, and we had a somewhat regulation field ready to go in no time.

    The teams looked pretty evenly matched, but DK’s prowess quickly came to light as he started barking orders to the black team.  It became apparent that he knew what he was doing, as they squashed the white team’s early lead and pushed ahead.  Handshake provided an easy target I guess, as he caught at least 3 TD’s while standing in the endzone all by his lonesome!

    White team tried to come up with a strategy of their own, and started playing man on man defense.  Problem is turnovers happen so frequently that man on man quickly goes to pot as soon as somebody drops the disc!  We did our best however, and actually kept the lead from getting too out of hand thanks to some great hustle by Offshore, Rosie, and Honeymoon.

    Oyster proved to be very aggressive on the defense for the black team, so much that he had to be warned a couple times that he was in violation of the 1 meter rule.  To my knowledge though, there is no punishment for violating the rules, except maybe you dont get to smoke weed afterwards.  Maybe DK knows the actual rules, but we never bothered to ask.

    Play of the day came from Hardywood with a diving catch just shy of the endzone.  I say just shy, but team black called it a TD on the spot.  Fair enough, it was a hell of a grab so we’ll spot him the yard for the glory shot.  I was disapointed by the TD dance routines though….not near enough flair.  That’s probably why we are still amateur status.

    The final score would have been 8 to 5 black, but since the Q called out last score wins, Team White wins the game!  Just coincidence that this was my team….

    Good times had by all, I think….and no injuries reported!  Well done, thanks for not arguing too much on what a Lindsay is….and most of all, thanks for the excessive mumblechatter during COP!  It makes my heart happy.  By special request, we will do this one more time next week at Heartbreak Ridge!

    Apology of the week goes out to any pax of Polish descent.  Lab Rat loves all.

    Lab Rat apologizes…

  • Visitor’s Day at Mary

    Twitter lit up last night about the possibility of there being at least a couple FNG’s this morning at Mary, along with one kinda visitor.  I say kinda, because Obama (F3 Swamp Rabbit) posts often enough and knows enough folks up here to hold dual citizenship with F3 RVA.  Not going to lie, in the light of day, I was really scratching my head figuring out who were FNG’s, who were the visitors, and who were F3RVA guys which I just wasn’t too familiar with.  Besides, it was a massive group of 30 guys with too many LIFO’s to count (Saab may have been the last), and I didn’t know I was Q’ing until 0529, when Phonics pulled up and Opus was not with him.

    So let’s tackle the elephant in the room real quick so we can get down to what actually happened.  Word is Opus is fine, but the nightmare that keeps all Q’s restless the night before apparently had no effect on him….he overslept.  As much as that will probably suck for him this coming week, that truly is the best case scenario for a no-show.  The comment that was thrown around this morning (in jest, of course) was “I hope that he’s ok, in which case Im gonna kill him.”  We are not, obviously, but there will surely be a comment added to the corporate file.

    With this many guys, the thought was keeping everybody together.  Going off site would have been fun (usually done to mess with LIFOs and no shows), but let’s face it, we had a literal herd of dudes.  Not in the cards.  Since a member of Swamp Rabbit was here, we had to get in some merkins, some situps, and some running for the big June challenge they have going on.  Lindsay’s around the block was the obvious call.  I am not even going to feel bad that I used it Tuesday, and I will use it again next Tuesday at No Toll.  The usual suspects flew thru it, then did a victory lap to rub it in the faces of the mere mortals….not cool, dudes, not cool.  I kid, of course they were heading back to the six.  To be fair though, the six was looking pretty good here, so it was time to kick it up a notch.

    The Beast came next, with a little explaining for those unfamiliar.  I was a little disappointed when I started poling the pax for suggestions burpees kept coming up.  Come on guys, as the Dothraki would say:  “it is known that burpees always go last on The Beast….it is known”.  Well, we ran out of time and didn’t get the full 6 legs in, but burpees did go last just the same.  We did get in squats, American Hammers, and some Lt. Dans before though.  Good work all around.

    Thanks to Swirly for punishing the pax with some Mary while I got the recording device ready for this super sized pax list!  The 6 inches to finish it off was gut wrenching.   Sorry about the lack of personal stories thrown in here, it was truly a blur just trying to keep the pax moving in the right direction.

    A final note:  We are happy to have Frank Lloyd Bunyon From F3 Chapel Hill join us this morning, sorry I didn’t get to chat with you today in the chaos.  Hope that you were made to feel at home by someone in the pax.

    FNG’s:

    -“Partridge” came from a big family, just like the Partridge Family.  Google it, Millennials.

    -“FEZ” started as “Exchange Student”, since he named half of the NCAA on the east coast schools as his alma maters.  It was shortened to FEZ for it’s roll off the tongue linguistics.  For those not in the know, the Foreign Exchange Student on “That 70’s show” was named FEZ because nobody could say his real name.  He barely avoided getting named after some horse that won the Kentucky Derby, and “blah blah blah Sock”.   Oh yeah, and “Sandusky” wasn’t happening.  You are welcome.

    -“Le Tigre” was named for the LSU shirt he wore to the workout (where’s Gumbo?!?).  Le Tigre is an offshoot of the Polo shirt craze in the 80’s.  And it means Tiger in some language (not Spanish according to legend)…and has a cute little jumping tiger avatar on it.  Also, as a Gamecocks fan, who is also in the SEC, I wasn’t going to listen to “Roll Tide” every time he posted, which was the only other name worth talking about that got thrown out by the pax.

    Apology of the week goes out to …….well me.  I get the apology of the week for having to write this soup sandwich of a back blast.  I didnt mind the Q, that was easy!  Anyways…..

    Opus apologizes…

     

     

  • Swirly Finally Comes out to DaVille

    22, yes I said 22 pax, showed up in the parking lot of Atlee to see what this Ultimate thing was all about.  Things started off with a bang with Vinny rolling out with a red Philly’s shirt on…WTF?!?  This coming from the guy that put out some coded tweet about buying tshirts from our elementary schools, or something like that.  After taking some ball busting, it turns out he did have the appropriate shirts for the workout.  It seems Spike did too, but left them in the truck…

    We got things started with a quick warm up of parking lot tracers and the easiest COP ever done.  Then to make sure everybody knew we were down for a workout, we flew through a Lindsay  with merkins and WW2 situps.  Cones got set by the front runners, which you would think got done quickly…..nope!  I am herding cats while yelling across the field at Shakedown and Phonics to RUN!  Phonics is one of the fastest guys I know and there he is, meandering thru the field picking dandelions while the rest of the pax holds plank.  All in good fun, we got the field set up and went over some basic rules, like NO CONTACT (Swirly is here, mind you).  Then we got to playing…

    While the white team tried to figure out how to change shirts once they were already soaked from the dew, the black team marched down field to throw the game in.  Whites took advantage of first possession by scrambling quickly in for the first score!  We didn’t get to celebrate for long though, as team black scored the next two points to take the lead.  Not to let the game get away from us, team white led by Spike and some awesome offensive plays by Wilt (Opus’ 2.0), scored a couple more of our own to take the lead back. The only major hiccup of the game came when Swirly threw a perfect throw 20 yards up the field to Wheelie….problem was he was on the wrong team, but wearing a gold long sleeve shirt (go Golden Knights?!?).  This prompted Wheelie to shed the shirt and become officially TEAM WHITE.  We reset that play as it was obvious the throw was a result of “wardrobe malfunction”.

    Spike on team white and FNG Glide on team black showed the way as standouts for their squad, but glory was found throughout the pax.  Handshake caught 2 of the goals for team black that I know of.  Shakedown and The Carpenter were all over the field for team black.  Wilt as previously mentioned played up to rep the shorties very well indeed!  Also, ET (Phonics’ 2.0) showed me some of the Mudd family speed as he effortlessly dusted me when I tried to guard him for a minute.  It’s not fair.  Helix as always was all out, making sliding blocks and always in the right place at the right time, just like on the racquetball court.  Play of the day ALMOST went to Vinny, who made an epic sliding catch that nobody thought was possible….then promptly flubbed a 4 foot throw to me to kill the play.  On one hand, he could have just stood up and made the handoff….on the other hand, I hope the shoulder is ok.

    When team white scored again to take the lead at 5-4, the bonehead move of the day was made by the Q (team white), who declared next score wins.  Team black marched right down our throats to make the score to tie the game for the win.

    All in all, as long as Vinny’s shoulder is ok, this year’s DaVille Ultimate went awesome!  The teams were evenly matched and it was a battle to the end.  It’s great to finally get Swirly out to DaVille, even if we had to borrow one from Raleigh to get it done.  Welcome to our three FNG’s, Glide and Bulkhead, plus one that had to leave early.  Also, glad to have Swirly from Raleigh with us this morning.  Finally, thanks to all that traveled from around the RVA to see a portion of arguably the best weekday AO out there.

    FNG names:

    Glide:  Glide was wearing a Houston Astros hat…I threw out ASTROGlide, which after reconsideration got shortened to Glide.  He still doesnt like the name, which makes it perfect.  Plus, everybody now KNOWS it means ASTROGlide.  Also, on a parallel note, he has a wicked Ultimate game and can Glide a frisbee.  But it’s really more about the Astroglide theme.

    Bulkhead:  Bulkhead is an inactive Marine (they dont like to be called “former”) and I am Navy, so I love love love to name Marines Navy stuff.  Shakedown had a collision with him during the game and mentioned it was like hitting a brick wall…walls in the Navy are Bulkheads, so slam dunk!  The alternative was “Booze Cruise” due to his Jimmy Buffet Tshirt, but he liked that name waaaayyyy to much.

    Apology of the week goes out to Vinny for making fun of your red tshirt….actually screw that!  If you were going to wear red today, it should have at least been a CAPS shirt!  Ahhhh….just busting your chops.

     

    Lab Rat apologizes…

  • You had to be there…

    Just last night, I was reminded of
    Just how bad it had gotten
    And just how sick I had become

    But it could change with this relationship
    De-derange, we’ve all been through some shit
    And if we’re thing, I think this thing’s begun
    Oh, tell me now, what do I have to do
    Oh, tell me now, what do I have to do
    Oh, tell me now, what do I have to do
    To prove my love to you?

    Special favors come in 31 flavors
    We’re out of mints, pass the Life Savers
    I’m droppin hints, candy for candy-coated tongue

    You’d be so good, so very good for me
    What do you think? Tell me honestly?
    I’m wait-wait-wait-waiting for you to come
    Oh, tell me now, what do I have to do
    Yeah, tell me now, what do I have to do
    Yeah, tell me now, what do I have to do
    Yeah, prove my love to you

    Third verse, same as the first
    Just last night, I was reminded of
    Just how bad it had gotten
    And just how sick I had become

    But it could change with this relationship
    De-derange, we’ve all been through some shit
    And if we’re thing, I think this thing’s begun

    Oh, tell me now, what do I have to do
    Yeah, tell me now, what do I have to do
    I’d do anything, what do I have to do
    I’d do it all, what do I have to do
    I’d do it all for you, what do I have to do
    I’d do anything, I’d do it all, I’d do it all for you
    I’d climb a mountain, I’d cross the ocean, I’d do it it all
    Tell me now, what do I have to do to prove my love to you?

     

    If Lab Rat apologizes in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, did he actually make a sound?

  • Phoneics and Ferbrat….with a “whatcha doin?” from Mudfaceabella

    2 runners showed up on time to Tomato run to start off Opus’ takeover week?  Hmmmmmm.  1 lone walker spotted later to bring numbers up to a quasi-respectable 3.

    Route and NMS:  Runners took off with no plans on a pre-determined bro-code run….aka at Lab Rat’s pace.  Ended up running thru Honey Meadows, looped around King’s Charter, then back to parking lot for about 4 and a quarter.  We spotted Mudface on the way back and took a minute to catch up and exchange pleasentries before finishing up.  Mumble chatter was thru the roof, as one can imagine with Phonics and Lab Rat at the ready.  We solved global warming, the whole North Korean mess, and where we are going to post for the next three months.

    Announcement (the only one that matters)-  Ghost flag at WDog Wednesday….come get you some!

     

    Lab Rat apologizes

  • One if by land, two if by sea

    One pax by land went to find the other 2 pax by sea…ok, we were on land also….but poetic license and stuff.  He did not, but he gets credit for the attempt.

    Route:  The two by sea drifted by the currents down the hill to meet up with “friend of Shakedown” for a handoff of substances….we both sampled said substances and tested it out across the Mayo Bridge, T. Potter, pipeline, then up the hill to touch Washington for around 4 miles and extra steps not GPS compatible.  Wheelbarrow came up with his own route.

    NMS:  Wheelbarrow texted Lab Rat late and we had no idea he was heading out to meet us, so we never looked him up.  Shakedown did some shady handoffs downtown, but was kind enough to share, so it’s all good!  It was a good day to ruin lunch in the cubicle, although we sweat enough to make it look like we jumped in the river.  Summertime is creeping!

    Great run, sorry to miss you Wheelbarrow.  Next time!

    Lab Rat apologizes…

  • Before Noon DeLite

    A pax of 1 kicked off the unofficially unofficial summertime classic….the “Before Noon DeLite”!

    Route:  Broad to 14th, across Mayo Bridge to the floodwall.  Over to T. Potter, across Pipeline (carefully, water is up!) then back up the hill to the Washington Monument at the Capital.  3.62 miles by the only Garmin present.

    NMS:  Shakedown and I have been running this route or something similar for the past few months and we finally pinned down Wednesday as THE day to run it only last week.  Of course, on the inaugural running after inviting others, he was a no-show due to work obligations. The plan is to keep this regular at least thru the summer for those (both?) of us that work but dont live Greater Richmond, and cant make Roller Coaster in the evenings.  Unless we get a swell of pax showing up, we will probably not post bb’s for this one, and keep it off the books.  HOWEVER, do not let that stop you from joining in if you so desire!  There are a few options for those that don’t work at MCV (DOT) proper, including the canoe put in (@1140) or Suntrust (@1146).

    Also, this will remain a BRO CODE run, meaning we will keep the pace of the slowest runner.  Right now, that is most definitely Lab Rat.

    Apology of the Week goes out to all the ladies out there….sorry for keeping my shirt ON today!  Guaranteed not to happen every week once summer temps kick in!

     

    Lab Rat apologizes…

  • Norfolk and Weigh

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuNLLn23nUA

     

    Seven sponges came out to soak up the rain soaked fields of Atlee this morning.  Problem was, it hadnt rained!  I blame Andrew Frieden, mainly because Nikki Dee is perfect in every way.  We worked out anyways…

    Parking Lot Tracers

    COP

    • SSH IC until hole is located
    • Invisible Jump rope IC kinda until all stories are caught up
    • Imperial Walkers
    • Helicopters until train arrives
    • LBC’s until train departs……AUDIBLE!!!!  Damn that was a long train….Plank for a minute then finish up with Don Quixotes

    THANG

    • Hill of Dreams- Partner up, tag team running hill to left field fence of baseball field while partner performs exercises.  Alternate up the hill between backwards and forwards.  Each partner runs up hill backwards and forwards 3 times.  Exercises were LBC’s, Heels to heaven, burpees, merkins, flutter kicks, and burpees.
    • Out of Phonic’s pocket- 10 minutes OYO of 5 pullups, 10 merkins, 15 squats.  Rinse and repeat.
    • Indian run back to flag

    Mary- Ring of Fire, Rosie style.

     

    NMS

    I was planning on waking up to a soaker thig morning and had planned my wardrobe accordingly before I went to bed this morning.  Took the pup out at 0445 and found not a drop of rain had fallen!  What the What?  Also thought I could be working out solo, but that was also not the case, as Yardsale was sitting in his car reading a Goosebumps novel when I pulled up (don’t make fun, what are you reading?).

    This morning’s workout was sorta unplanned, though I had a general idea that I wanted to run the hill a bit and also I wanted to work on good form pullups and merkins like we did last week on the Phonics Q.  That was plainly evident when we heard the train and the gears in my head started churning….how can we use this?!?  I know…LBC’s for the train!  After about 5 minutes (literally) of the train running, it was evident that this was a terrible idea and thus was shitcanned.  Right after that, the caboose passed.

    Mumblechatter was upheld this morning by the pax, to the point where cadence was when one story ended and the next story began.  Lab Rat was so proud!

    Good Luck to Circle K and the O.G. K…Kay as they tackle their trail marathon this weekend!

    Also, if you need something to do with the kids this weekend, VCU is hosting the NCAA championship dodgeball tournament at the Siegel Center….admission is free!  You can pretend like that won’t be awesome, but deep down you know it will be.  Usually, you have to pay extra for that, right, Kotten?!?

    Apology of the week goes to Phonics.  Im sorry for interrupting your story this morning with my incessant counting.  I’ll try to be quieter in the next COP!

     

    Lab Rat apologizes…

     

     

     

  • Dogpile and Mosey On shirts now available for pre-order!

    Dogpile and Mosey On shirts now available for pre-order!

    From now until 4/30, get your RVA gear while the getting’s good!  Q’s please spread the word at your workouts and backblasts.  This is the first time Dogpile shirts have been available in 3 years, so who knows when your next chance will be!

    Also, if you travel and post while you are out of town, I recommend buying  an extra 1 or 2 so that if you can “trade jerseys”.

    If anybody would like to save shipping, Lab Rat will be putting in a purchase this week and will gladly do a bulk order.  Contact him directly with your exact order for this.

     

    Active PreOrders

  • Introduction to John Merkinroe

    Four Batteau regulars, plus one from far away places gathered for a quasi-hot potato workout.  Weather was a touch windy, but otherwise pleasant.  Lab Rat offered to take the Q, but Vinnie had a plan to try out so we stuck with the hot potato…Sippy jumped in at the end to make it official.

    COP- SSH, IW, Helicopters, DQ, arm circles, hand release merkins, LBC.

    THANG-

    John Merkinroe- 4 corners on the tennis courts,  5 hand wipe merkins?, 15 werkins, 30 merkins, 40 hand release merkins (ouch).  Then partner up, 1 partner does tennis court tracers while partner 2 does excercises:  WW2 situps, and hello dollies.

    Love Hill of Ill Repute:  Partner up and run the hill/do exercises while making your way up:  Lt Dans, Broad Jump Burpees, and walk out merkins.

    Rock planks:  Grab a rock and partner up.  Partner holds plank with rock on back, other partner does 20 WW2 situps.  Switcheroonies.

    Pass the baby:  everybody on their sixes side by side.  Pass the rock from one person to the next and back.  Repeato slowly.

    NMS-

    Lab Rat is off work this week for kids’ spring break so decided to travel this morning.  Batteau is a really cool AO that normally is just too dang far to make, but it was an easy decision this morning with no rush to be anywhere until later.

    Vinnie has been perusing the exicon, presumably getting ready for a VQ.  He wanted a taste this morning, and thoroughly thumped YHC’s arms with a buttload of merkins.  The snot wipers…..or whatever they call them….where tough.  Also, 40 hand releases brought out the groan machine!

    Great way to start the day.  Breathe deep and be thankful.

    Apology of the week goes to the Forest Hill neighborhood residents.  Sorry that I rode around looking like a prowler this morning looking for the AO instead of using a smart phone and actual directions.  No harm, no foul though.

    Lab Rat apologizes…