Author: Lab Rat

  • Always go Left

    A mighty 16 woke up this morning, to be greeted with maps with squiggly lines representing this morning’s route.  This was Lab Rat’s 4th try to make the Serpentine route an instant classic.

    4 Milers- follow 4 mile map

    5 Milers- follow 5 mile map

    6 milers- do what you like.  Just kidding, follow your map.

    NMS- All mileages were represented today, along with No Tools and Ricky Bobby on the bikes.  Great morning for a run, and it showed by the splits.  Nice to run with Singer and Pucker for a bit, then catching up with Swirly.

    Wedding Singer’s baby #2 is coming any day!  Keep us updated, Singer!

    Moment of silence for the runner who was struck in Atlee last week, who died a couple days ago.

    Apology of the week goes to Hardywood for presenting him with a Geography test before his second cup of coffee.  I should have just said “run with Saab”.

     

    Lab Rat apologizes…

  • Beware the Wounded Animal

    8 pax in the parking lot this morning at go-time with 1 ghost car….Circle K was already out presumably running.  The rest of us got going with the parking lot tracers and we picked up Mr. Rogers along the way (KOTTERS!!!!)

    Parking Lot Tracers

    COP

    • SSH
    • Helicopters
    • DQ
    • Arm Circles

    THANG

    • Track work the hard way AND Touch a Circle K-  Pax makes their way around the track at whatever speed they like, stopping at the top of every 5 minutes for 20 merkins, 20 squats.  Bonus stations at pullup bars and bleachers for those feeling inclined.  Repeato X5.  ALSO, if anybody spots Circle K:  announce to pax and all pax run up and “touch a Circle K”.  Thanks to Pick2 for being the timer.
    • Touch a bus:  Partner up, first partner runs and touches 2 buses while second partner does 20 squats then holds People’s Chair, then swaparoo.  Next round is 4 buses and 20 merkins, hold plank.  Final round is 20 squats/people’s chair.  Everybody touches every bus!
    • Indian run to flag, Mary of LBC’s

    NMS

    So, as Spit pointed out this morning, it has been about 3 weeks or so since a Lab Rat Q.  I have been battling thru some back stuff and I am still trying to figure out what I can get away with doing.  Looking at the Q sheet yesterday and there was a big open hole at DaVille, but highlighted with Spit’s name around it….SNAG!  Track work the hard way was the perfect call, since it would allow everybody to pace themselves, and me a chance to figure out what wasnt going to rip a hole thru my back….which worked out (mostly) pain free.

    I figured Circle K would be around eventually so he could get that data point, so I figured we may as well have fun with it.  “Touch a Circle K” happened pretty quickly, as he came up on the track just as we started going.  It was a grand time as THE Circle K was trying to figure out why everybody kept touching him.  Good stuff.  Comment of the day was courtesy of Emoji, when I explained what we were doing with “touch a Circle K” and he responded with “what’s a Circle K?”  Thanks for being blonde, Emoji!

    Lots of merkins and squats, because Lab Rat’s back allowed them.  NO burpees, bear crawls, or American Hammers, ’cause no.

    Awesome to have our numbers back in the double digits this morning, even if we had several combinations of LIFO today….but I am in a good mood, so we will let them all slide.  Solid work by all, and thanks to Mr. Rogers for taking us out like a BOSS.

    Apology of the week goes out to Circle K for getting touched, but we do appreciate you being a prop in our reindeer games.

     

    Lab Rat apologizes…

  • Don’t pet that dog!

    Fifteen strong runners (no takers on Gears this morning) set out on our third attempt at The Serpentine route.  Weather was RVA winter.

    The Serpentine:  Down Grove, Left on Hamilton, left on Hanover.  Hanover to the end, do a 180 to Stuart.  Stuart to Hamilton, do a 180 to Kensington.  Kensington to end, do a 180 (thru the gate) to Leonard.  5 milers hang a right on Woodlawn to school.  6 milers go to Hamilton, 180 to Patterson, return to school on Commonwealth.

    NMS:  Several attempts have been made to nail this route, and we are still not quite there.  Looks like round 4 is in order….at least nobody bitches when Lab Rat pulls the map out.  Upchuck asked me if I had laminated copies….great idea.  I personally love this route, btw.  Running thru the neighborhoods appeals to me. Seems as though the 6 mile guys took the gravel griding route part way, ending up on a couple allies.  I wonder if I should have left them out of the backblast?  Sorry, Lockjaw, that was a cheap shot.

    At least two packs of runners came across the resident raccoon that lives in the sewer grate on Hamilton and Kensington….which barks!  No shit.  At first sight, I thought it was a big cat until it looked up.  Upchuck was taking the turn tight and didnt see it, and it started barking like a Chihuahua at him.  Crazy.  The six miler guys had a similar experience.

    Also noteworthy:  Offshore wore an orange plastic bag with arm holes cut into it for some reason today.

    Apology of the Week goes out to Rocky (Raccoon).  First off, for naming him after a song…but that’s just a slam dunk.  Secondly for ruining his morning walk with our antics.  Cant a fat raccoon just be left alone for 10 minutes?

     

    Lab Rat apologizes…

  • Staggered Start

    12 runners eventually showed up for the run this morning….either the roads or the extreme cold made for an unusual start this morning.  The kicker was BIG Tennessee, who was going to do a drive-by, but unfortunately saw us on Grove and begrudgingly came to a sliding stop and joined in.

    Route:

    Serpentine route- Run down Grove to Hamilton, then serpentine your way thru the neighborhood streets. 4 miles go shorter, 6 milers go longer.

    NMS

    -The roads were for the most part snow covered, but there was enough ice out there to make you pay attention.  The cold was no joke, and turning in to the wind really sucked.  Personally, I liked running on the packed snow but I think it affected everybody’s times and nobody was able to finish their normal distance in 45 minutes….or it was close.

    -I have no idea what Oyster did this morning, but I think there might have to be a new F3 term for what he did.  Let’s see, First in the parking lot, last out of the car, then first back in the car.  At least he gave us high 5’s on Commonwealth from his window as the 5 milers were finishing up!  (I realize that Swirly was actually first in the lot, it’s called poetic license, people.)

    -I am convinced that this route needs to be in the regular rotation.  My goal is to be able to walk up, call out “serpentine route” and everybody knows what to do.  It’s not nearly as confusing as what it sounds, but giving the directions is a real pain.  Most folks caught the cut thru this time though, which is an improvement.

    -Great job to everybody that posted this morning, no matter what form that took.  It was an easy morning to hit that snooze button.

    “Second” Apology of the week goes to TYA.  I really don’t have anything to apologize about, but I’m sorry anyways.

     

    Lab Rat apologizes…

  • By the light………of the silvery moon……

    A fiesty five posted to DaVille, greeted by a moon that would make you think it was Sunny and 70, but the temps let you know different.  Phonics was even on time this morning, so we let him park in the front row of cars.  Speaking of Phonics, since he had arrived, we knew it was time to get moving.

    Slaughter starter:  10 burpees, nice and slow.

    Parking lot tracers.

    COP:  SSH, Hillbillies (by request), some wild combination of arm circles, Don Quixote’s.

    THANG:

    Burpee Boulevard:  Starting at Atlee Station, run to the gate (3/4 miles, but who’s counting?  Right, Opus?).  3 burpees at each light pole.  PLANK AT THE GATE!  Finish up with a couple minutes of plank.

    MARY Sanders:  Each pax picks a Mary exercise for the other pax to do while he runs backwards up the hill to the fence, then forwards back.  Each man runs three times.

    Chinese fire drill:  Form of:  a single line.  Start running back to the flag, the six breaks off and runs a lap around the pax and then takes the lead.  Run back to New Ashcake.

    BAS (Big Ass Suicide)- Suicide across the length of the parking lot.

    1 minute of happy feet.

    NMS

    Yep, it’s cold!  But that doesnt stop this pax.  The idea for the slaughter starter came from a little primer I read on tips for riding in the cold….you should start uphill to get your body making some heat.  Burpees seem like going uphill.

    Since there were only 5 of us, we had some fun in the COP, and cadence got a touch out of hand.  Spit started doing some weird jumping jacks, which I took as a request for Hillbillies.

    Directions were ignored during the burpee boulevard by Phonics, who finished first (surprise) then turned to gather the six.  Not a big deal, but then I need to make fun of somebody.  Opus was less than impressed with my singing, and neither of us could think of the rest of the song that is the title of this BB.  Or, maybe he knows all the words, but didnt want to encourage me to sing anymore.

    Speaking of making fun of somebody, The Carpenter had to play Mary Sanders by himself due to having an allergic reaction to lasagna?  Holy noodles, Batman!

    The fire drill was a ton of fun, once we figured out how to do it.  Plenty of practice with only 5 pax, and the mumblechatter really got flowing.  The rest of the workout was trying to avoid any more Mary, which we did plenty of during Mary Sanders.  I’m very proud of that name, btw.

    Announcement:  Get on the phone and the email to get those pax members back out!

    Apology of the week goes out to Spit.  I know you are at work waiting on the backblast to get posted, and MARV beat me to the punch.  I’m sorry, but I went back to bed when I got home and slept until after nine, then I had to make more coffee.  Because I’m off work.

    Lab Rat apologizes…

     

  • OFF the Books is ON the trails

    9 humans and one K-9 (see what I did?) showed up for a gloomy dawn run.  Decision was made to give the trails a go despite some evening showers.  Luckily, the trails were in great shape and ready to receive guests.

    Route: North Bank to new bridge, Buttermilk to Nickle Bridge and home.

    NMS:

    Great to have all the Southlanders visit this morning.  Longhorn came out to join us as well, turns out she has run every day of 2017, at least a mile a day.  Very impressive, judging by the struggles of the pax (myself included) to make it thru a single month of the run-a-mile challenge.  Much respect.

    Offshore brought Sally back out, breaking her in nice and slow as a trail dog.  They ran with us for a mile or so before we lost them, but they were still out when the rest of us had finished.  Hopefully, they were out enjoying a great morning to just be out in the woods.

    Saab was on a tear this morning, and circled back enough surely to add over a mile to the standard 7 that made up the loop.  Rosie, Shakedown, Upchuck, Honeymoon, and HoneyDo made up the middle pack.  Since TYA didnt make it out this morning, I graciously took his place as the designated six.  That, and not wanting to pass out from still being gassed from a No Tools led bike ride yesterday.

    All in all, a very quiet and peaceful morning on the trails, and pretty uneventful except for Shakedown demonstrating how you can remove a stump with head butts.  Let’s just say I believe you, but I’m not going to try it.

     

    Lab Rat Apologizes…

     

  • Old Glory…the Easy Way

    18 pax showed this morning for a crisp start to the shortest day of the year.  Looking back, Winter Solstice would have been a good theme for a workout, but Lab Rat generally leaves the themes to people better at it than himself.  Instead, we dusted off Old Glory…of some form or fashion.  Here is what we did:

    1 mile run

    20 minutes of Old Glory:

    • corner 1: 20 merkins
    • corner 2: 20 squats
    • corner 3: 20 burpees….wait this is Richmond Proper, make that 10 burpees
    • corner 4: 20 ww2 situps

    1 mile run

    Mary- American hammers, crab cakes, Alabama prom dates, Freddy Mercury

    Ring of Fire, Rosie Style

    NMS

    In preparation for my first time actually Q’ing an Old Glory, I did my homework.  I searched first in the Exicon, and to my surprise it was not there.  I did not search “The Old Glory”, “Ye Old Glory”, nor did I search “Glory Hole” (thanks, Saab).  I was taken aback not seeing this in the exicon, but no big deal, I looked under back blasts and found 2 versions:  one that called for 10 pullups from Charlotte and the other calling for 20 burpees from DaVille.  Imagine my surprise when the dissension commenced about doing too many burpees?  The claim was 10 was traditional….ok, fine….audible to 10.  I guess Fudd didn’t get the audible and was passed a few times while continuing on with the original number.  I don’t think that this going to count as an official Old Glory for the spreadsheet anyways, since there was some discrepancy of the size of the soccer courts, or tennis fields we were on.  Consider it a warm up for the next time.

    As seems to be tradition for a Lab Rat Q, much ball busting was to be had at my expense.  Even MARV jumped in this time, besting the usual suspects by his pointing out that I had truly screwed the pooch on the proper sports terminologies.  Well played, sir.  I told BT that’s how you know you have made it in F3, when MARV is willing to publicly humiliate you.

    Last but not least, our very own TYA has  once again podiumed, winning 3rd place in his most recent race for the 50-59 women’s division!  We are all so….um….disturbed that you keep doing that.

    Apology of the Week goes out to Spit for me caving in to the peer pressure and not making the downtown clan do the proper 20 burpees, as is the DaVille way.  (It was his BB that I referenced).  Maybe Old Glory should be standardized in print somewhere?!?

    Lab Rat apologizes…

  • An F3RVA Personal Challenge Primer

    An F3RVA Personal Challenge Primer

    OK fellow pax members, we are about to embark on our first full year with Big Data, so there are sure to be some new personal challenges kicked around.  Also, a few older challenges are starting to make a comeback as of late, some with questionable rulings on the symantics.  So I thought that maybe it would be a good idea to get a few of these down in writing.  Of course, this is written by Lab Rat, who is by no means the best candidate to be F3RVA scribe….but I don’t see anybody else doing it…so take it for what it is.  If you have objections to any of these challenges or Heaven forbid, you find them too difficult, might I direct you to Lally Construction complaints department.  Or the comments section below.  Anyways, on to the show:

    Corporate Challenge:

    OK, so this is the Original Gangster.  The Granddaddy.  To my knowledge, maybe 5 pax have completed this challenge….which is saying something.  We were going to make up a t-shirt for those that completed this, but we never got enough for the mandatory minimum shirt order.  This is challenge is awful in it’s simplicity:  Post every day for a week, double dipping on Saturday.  Double dipping is a pain on it’s own, posting to Dogpile, then hopping in the car and hightailing it up to Short Pump for the remainder of Gridiron.  About the time you get to Gridiron, you are tight from being in the car after Dogpile.  Of course, today’s standards are slightly watered down with all the new AO’s, so I challenge anybody that wants this feather added to his cap do the original AO’s:  Punisher, No Toll, Source of Truth, 45 MOMM, RAMM, Dogpile AND Gridiron, and Sunday Trails.   EZ Pass highly recommended.

    The Nomad:

    With the popup of so many different AO’s, this one became something of note.  Once again, simple enough:  post to all the AO’s.  As of this morning, there are 24 of them.  Upchuck and EF Hutton recently completed this in a year.  Can anybody do it in a quarter?  How about a month?  I would buy lunch to a person that knocks them all down in a month.  Speaking of lunch, Breaking Bread is also mandatory for recognition of this challenge.  Prius highly recommended.

    Q a Week:

    Take a week of Q’s.  TYA started this one with the original Corporate takeover, with Swirly and Bleeder filling in the overlaps.  This one is totally NOT endorsed by Lab Rat, but I feel that leaving it out would be a punk move.  Everybody that has done this so far ends up a miserable SOB by the end of the Q week, and on injured reserve the following week.  I’m looking at you, J’Ville.

    50 Q’s in a Year:

    Talk on the streets is that this one has a massive asterisk:  only half can be runs.  This might be an easy one, we may have to slide that number up a touch.  Time will tell.

    200 Posts in a Year:

    That’s four days a week, giving you two weeks off for vacation.  Again, this is a movable number.

    Posts Champion of the Year:

    Who is at the top of Big Data at the end of the year?  Go ahead and try, Swirly dares you.

    So there you have it, folks.  If anything has ever been completely stupid and utterly pointless, these challenges would qualify.  And if you haven’t decided what to do yet for your 2018 New Year’s resolution, choose one or two of these and your worries are over.  Maybe one day we can get an F3RVA patch to hand out upon completion or something of that sort.  Until then, you get the satisfaction of knowing you did something difficult….or half crazy.  Take your pick.

    See you in the Gloom,

    Lab Rat

     

     

  • Nomad Complete

    3 early risers met the morning with gusto.  2 other pax eventually showed up, too.

    Route:  5 milers meander out to King’s Charter, run down the main drag to the playground and return.  5.5 milers run same route, except miss the cut thru turn on the way back and run up to the big white house on the hill and turn back to find missed turn.  4.5 milers show up whenever they feel like it and run around the parking lot.  Walkers do their own thing.

    NMS:  Lab Rat got the call from Hutton last night and gave the HC for a little Tomato run action this morning.  He informed me that Spit had the Q, so he would have company if I wanted to bail.  Nonsense!  I have been Hutton’s unofficial hype man on his Nomadic journey to touch ’em all and I wasnt about to bail now.  I showed up at 0529 to a Q-less workout, and immediately took charge of the run.  NO Idea was waiting on Mudface, who texted to let him know he was late but on the way.  Hutton and I had a nice run thru quiet neighborhoods talking about the crazy football games and what is considered a catch or not a catch in the NFL these days.

    Also discussed was the penalty for missing a Q that you had signed up for, and what excuse (if any) relieved you of said missed Q.  Hutton and I picked up Spit in the parking lot to make him LIFO instead of AWOL.  Baby up all night is a pretty good excuse…but I dont know if it flies past Corporate.  Circle K and I have been known to give the old late night text when things go bad before a Q in order to make sure all bases are covered.  Just sayin’.

    So EF Hutton has joined the ranks of UpChuck as the only pax members to cover all the AO’s in place to this day.  This also includes Breaking Bread for the both of them, which I consider a necessity to complete this awesome personal challenge.  GREAT JOB goes out to both of you!  That’s a lot of windshield time.

    All in all, great morning for a run along with great company.

     

    Apology of the week goes to Mudface, for suggesting you might need to lose a few lbs in your quest to win the Monument Avenue 10K.  I’m sure there’s another way to say it, but that’s not my strong suit.

     

    Lab Rat apologizes…

  • 50 for 50

    17 warriors and 1 birthday boy converged upon the gloom at Mary Munford to celebrate.  The festivities went a little something like this:

    COP

    50 SSH’s IC for PUCKER!

    Call Pucker to center and embarrass him for a minute.  RESPECT all around.

    Arm Circles

    LBC’s

    Don Quixote’s (Abe Vigoda style….because Saab isnt getting any younger)

    The Meat of it:

    -It’s a Friggin’ Triangle, People!  (5 corners)-  5 groups of men, running around the track and stopping at the corners for:

    • -Derkins
    • -Leg Lifts
    • -pullups
    • -Dips
    • -Incline Alabama Prom Dates

    Three rounds, STAY WITH YOUR GROUP!

    -Curb Crawl Do Se Do: 2 lines facing each other in plank.  On Q’s signal, plank walk 10 steps north, south, east and west.  5 IC merkins at each point of the compass.  When done properly, everybody moves together.  This morning’s iteration was not done properly.

    -Huddle For Warmth:  Huddle up close on thy sixes.  Lock arms and legs with your buddy.  Perform WW2 situps as a group.  I think we did 16?

    -Long Ways suicides:  On the tennis courts, using the far side court as the line, going width wise.  1 forward, 1 backward suicide

    -Mary:  American Hammers, Hello Dolly, Hello Rosalita, V-Snaps (for the aspiring gymnasts)

    NMS

    • First and foremost, happy birthday to Pucker!  Two years of being 49 are over.
    • Turns out, Swirly is human after all.  Either that or he forgot to spray WD-40 on his lower extremity mid pivot point.  Heal up quick, buddy!  I hope ice and Ibuprofin can take care of it.  Otherwise, we will have to rely on  your extreme health care plan (TYA and Bleeder making you go to the doctor).  “Come on guys, it’s so simple, maybe you need a refresher course.  It’s all ball bearings nowadays!”
    • Speaking of injury reports, Swiper has a clean bill of health!  His X-Ray came back fracture free and he was making up for lost time sprinting between the corners this morning.  Woo hoo!
    • You know you have arrived in F3RVA when you try to give out instructions to the group, then you get heckled for lack of instructions.  Then a separate group heckles you for taking too long to give out the instructions.  Aww shucks…thanks, guys.
    • The Do Se Do’s were a massive Charlie Foxtrot.  Seems like we are going to have to do those more often to get the dance steps down better.  Also, they are VERY TOUGH to call cadence on….especially when your arms are about to give out.
    • For the record, it was SAAB that scared the hell out of Sugar Britches….even after I said, “hey, ya’ll don’t scare that woman”.
    • Splinter does American Hammers aggressively.  I dont really have a joke for that, but he does.
    • Smithfield gave us the rundown of how he got his name during 5-corners.  We are a mean, cruel group of men!

    Apology of the Week goes out to Bleeder.  Sorry about damn near doing a back flip over top of you during backwards suicides.  I guess that makes us even from the “bike incident”.

     

    Lab Rat apologizes…