Author: Dealer

  • Medium Bells, Not Huge

    Summer Tour results are in: Handshake indicates bells are “medium, not huge” at Hugebells AO. 

    One bystander who goes by L Woods commented, “Size is not important, it’s how you swing it.”

    Another onlooker who goes by Heisenberg, an alias to protect from government retribution, added, “Well, mine seem huge. They touch the ground when I squat.”

    House Party had no comment. 

    Coverage resumes again tomorrow when Handshake takes the final week of Summer Tour to No Toll. 

    🔥 WARMARAMA 

    Mosey around bus loop gates of football field for arm circles, Cherry Pickers, Dead Man Hangs, Merkins, Fudd’s Wife, Wilson’s Wife, Freddie Mercuries, etc. 

    Racked KBs on shoulders then moseyed down to the football field. 

    💪 The Thang 

    🔁 Da Beast

    🧱 Round 1: KB swings. Outbound run. Inbound KB waiter carry.

    🧱 Round 2: KB squats. Outbound run. Inbound KB waiter carry.

    🧱 Round 3: KB sit n press. Outbound run. Inbound goblet carry. 

    🧱 Round 4: KB thrusters. Outbound run. Inbound suitcase carry. 

    🧱 Round 5: KB curls 4 the girls. Outbound run. Inbound rifle carry.

    🧱 Round 6: KB deadlift high pulls. Outbound run. Inbound goblet carry. 

    Drop the KBs for a bonus round 7 of flutters, WWIs, WWIIs in cadence. 

    🧘 Mary / Cool Down (5 min)

    Slowsey BTTF for 3 minutes of Mary called out by boys in the circle. 

    🗣️ COT (Circle of Trust)

    • Name-o-Rama
    • Announcements
    • Prayers:
      • David
      • Speakeasy
      • Florence’s MIL

    Dealer’s Musings:

    • Nice having Handshake in the fold.
    • Good mix of cardio and muscle-building.
    • Lots of stuff coming up: F3 swag orders (DTH), Labor Day Convergence at 7 AM at Forest Hill Park

  • HB36: Hills are only steep when you climb them.

    🔥 WARMARAMA 

    Mosey to gates of football field for Side Straddle Hops, Cherry Pickers, Dead Man Hangs, Chuck Norris Merkins, Ukrainian Soldiers, Copperhead Squats, etc. 

    Moseyed to bottom of ramp, causing rando parked car to flee upon seeing six studs carrying huge bells blaring “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath.

    💪 THE THANG

    Hill 1: American 250

    • Partner up. 
    • At bottom of ramp, partner A performs KB Squat Thrusters. 
    • Partner B carries KB to top of ramp and back. 
    • Alternate until 250 reps are hit. 

    That ramp was long. Very long. Slosey to hill 2 at the base to Mt. Chaplain.

    Hill 2: 11s

    • 1 KB Goblet Squats at bottom of hill. 
    • SA OH carry up hill. 
    • 10 KB Swings at the top of hill.
    • SA OH carry down hill. 
    • Repeato 9,2…8,3…7,4…

    DTH was a stud holding the SA OH KB carry for all sets. That hill was long. Very long. Found a dry spot to lay on back and hit 20 KB chest presses, 15 KB curls for the girls, and 10 KB WWIIs. 

    Slosey up Mt. Chaplain to hill 3 in main parking lot.

    Hill 3: Slogger

    • Perform 10 KB American Hammers at base of hill. 
    • Run up hill.
    • Hit 10 Merkins at the crest.
    • Run to the sidewalk along FH AVE and back down.
    • Repeato 3 times. 

    MOSEY BTT🇺🇸

    No Mary, no time.

    🗣️ COT

    • Numberama, namarama
    • Announcements: Something brewing at la casa de Snuff at the end of the month. Something about banana hammocks.
    • Prayers: Deale’s mom’s retirement/new season, for the rain, for breath, and for putting one foot in front of the other.

    Dealer’s musings: It was an honor leading your brothers this morning. The hills were grueling, the counting was a lot, the music was banging, and you boys brought it and owned the hills. LFG.

  • HB36: LFG USMNT DTOM

    🔥 WARMARAMA 

    5 minutes of light movement:

    1 minute: Side Straddle Hops

    1 minute: LBCs

    1 minute: Squats

    1 minute: Merkins

    1 minute: American Hammers

    💪 The Thang 

    COP #1: Round of 48

    48 Kettlebell Swings

    48 Goblet Squats

    48 American Hammers

    COP #2: Round of 32

    32 Kettlebell Thruster (16 per arm)

    32 Kettlebell Lunges (16 per leg, holding KB in Goblet position)

    32 American Hammers

    COP #3: Round of 16 – Full Time

    16 Kettlebell Snatches (8 per arm)

    16 Kettlebell Deadlifts (8 per side)

    16 American Hammers

    COP #4: Round of 16 – Extra Time

    16 Kettlebell Dead Bugs

    16 Kettlebell Presses

    16 American Hammers

    COP #4: Round of 16 – PKs

    10 Burpees (representing the keeper dive)

    20 Mountain Climbers (representing the scramble for the ball)

    Repeat 3 times with no rest between rounds

    COP #5: The American Wall

    Wall Sit Curls for the Girls

    Wall Sit Above the Head Hold

    MOSEY BTT🇺🇸

    🧘 Mary / Cool Down 

    Circle up for core and stretching:

    1. Quarterfinals – 8 American Hammers
    2. Semifinals – 4 American Hammers
    3. Final – 90 second plank

    🗣️ COT (Circle of Trust)

    • Name-o-Rama
    • Announcements
      • FNG Auggie (Amardillo) joined us. Moved from Austin, TX. Had a transformation, both physically and mentally, and is on the road to big things.
      • Sign up for Grow Ruck and 1776 challenge. See Slack for deets.
      • US watch party at L WOODS tonight. Please RSVP with him.
    • Prayer Requests / BOM (Ball of Man)
      • For transformation.
      • For clear eyes to see the right path and the physical grit to hike it.
      • For the USMNT and the W.

  • Prison Cell Workouts Make Ya Quiver

    🔥 WARMARAMA

    One loop around the bus loop and some light side straddle hops, arm circles, Michael Phelps, merkins.

    To honor my bionic knee’s first go, I played my favorite Daft Punk robot bangers. 

    💪 THE THANG

    EMOM 1: Pure Core 

    • Minute 1, 3, 5, 7, 9: Kettlebell Pull-Overs.
    • Minute 2, 4, 6, 8, 10: Dead Bugs (Hold a light KB straight up in both hands. Slowly extend the opposite leg—keeping the movement slow and controlled—and return).

    Mosey to top of Mount Chaplain to take in the sunrise for EMOM 2.

    EMOM 2: Upper Body

    • Minute 1, 3, 5, 7, 9: Single-Arm Bent-Over Rows (Left) + Strict Overhead Presses (Left).
    • Minute 2, 4, 6, 8, 10: Single-Arm Bent-Over Rows (Right) + Strict Overhead Presses (Right).

    Mosey back to asphalt.

    EMOM 3: Mixed

    • Minute 1, 3, 7, 9: Chest Presses 
    • Minute 2, 4, 6, 8. Curls for the Gurls
    • Minute 5, 10: Forearm planks

    One more loop around the bus loop to see how running felt. All good.

    Mosey BTTF 🇺🇸

    🗣️ COT 

    • Prayers for David’s recovery and DTH’s support.
    • Prayers for Machine Head’s growing brood.

    Dealer’s Musings:

    • Today was my first Q since tearing my meniscus a third time. I am not getting surgery and am feeling out what I can (cannot) do. Being with your brothers certainly beats working out alone in my garage like I have been doing. It was great being back in the fold of F3 brotherhood. Don’t take it for granted.

  • From Zero to Zen: The Box that Unboxed Me

    KB Beast.

    No KB Man Killers.

    Sold my soul for a Soul. Beep, beep.

  • Ramps, Stairs, and Hills, Oh My!

    🔥 WARMARAMA

    Run along Forest Hill Avenue with a mix of Bernies, butt kickers, high knees. Circle up for some Cherry Pickers, Chuck Norris merkins, and various stretches. 

    💪 THE THANG

    Ramped Up

    Pair Up. 

    • Partner A: Starts at the bottom of the ramp performing “AMRAP” Kettlebell High Pulls.
    • Partner B: Sprints to the top of the ramp (carrying nothing) and performs 5 Burpees, then sprints back down.
    • The Switch: When Partner B returns, they swap roles.
    • The Progression: Once both partners have run once, they both carry a bell to the midway point of the ramp and perform 20 Synchro-Squats before moving to the next round.

    Stairway to Heaven

    Partner up. Partner A does step ups with bell. While partner B:

    • The Base (Bottom): 10 Goblet Squats.
    • The Ascent: Bear Crawl Drag. (Crawl up the stairs, dragging the kettlebell).
    • The Summit (Top): 10 Swings.
    • The Descent: Suitcase Carry. (Walk down with the bell in one hand; switch hands halfway).

    Three rounds. 

    Man-Maker Mo-Ped

    Man-Maker x 5:

    • Merkin: Start in plank, perform one Merkin (hand on bell or floor).
    • Renegade Row: Stay in plank, row the KB to the hip with one arm.
    • The Switch: Drag or slide the KB to the other hand.
    • Merkin + Row: Perform a Merkin and a row on the opposite side.
    • Clean: Jump feet in, explosive pull to the rack position.
    • Thruster: Full squat into an overhead press.
    • Recover: Return KB to the deck; rinse and repeat.

    10 Lateral Hops over the kettlebell. Sprint up the hill and back. Repeato.

    Mosey BTTF 🇺🇸

    🧘 MARY

    Plank pendulum dragging bell from side to side.

    🗣️ COT 

    • NTB’s going away party 5/16 at DTH’s.
    • Prayers for NTB’s next season of new pastures.
    • Prayers for L Wood’s growing brood.
    • Prayers for the Artemis 2 crew flying around the dark side of the moon today.

    Dealer’s Musings:

    • Way to put in the work this morning! Grunts galore.

  • The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of Music

    🔥 WARMARAMA

    Mosey around the bus loop with a mix of butt kickers, high knees, Super Marios. Circle up for side straddle hops, cherry pickers, side lunges, Chuck Norris push ups (RIP), and WWIIs.

    Mosey to the hill at the top of Mount Chaplain. 

    💪 THE THANG

    Hill 1: Steep Slogger

    • At the base of the top of Mount Chaplain, perform 10 Goblet Squats. 
    • Then lunge halfway up the incline with the KB. Hit 10 Sumo Deadlift High Pulls.
    • Sprint the remainder of the hill to sidewalk no KB, then walk back down to retrieve the bell.

    Repeato 3 times. 

    Lay on back and hold KB above head for the six. After six came in, hit 20 KB chest presses, 15 KB curls for the girls, and 10 KB WWIIs. 

    Hill 2: Long Burner

    • Start near the bottom of S Coleman Ln. 
    • Clean the KB into the right-arm waiter carry and walk uphill thru two streetlights. Without stopping, switch to a left-arm suitcase carry (hanging at your side) thru the next two street lights. 
    • At the top, do 20 Kettlebell Swings facing uphill.
    • Carry the bell back down in a left-arm waiter carry and switch halfway down to a right-arm suitcase carry.

    After round 1, hit 20 KB presses, 15 curls, and 10 WWIIs. Round 2 was a mosey uphill with right-arm rack/left-arm suitcase and the reverso back down hill followed by 20-15-10 KB presses, curls, WWIIs. 

    Hill 3: Sidewinder

    Mosey to the bottom of Mount Chaplain. Walk halfway up hill.

    • Perform 20 KB Halos (10 each direction).
    • Perform 10 KB Woodchoppers, swinging from your “uphill” shoulder to your “downhill” hip.
    • Side-shuffle 20 yards across the face of the hill, swap directions (facing the other way), and repeat.

    2 rounds with 20-15-10 KB work in between. 

    Mosey BTTF 🇺🇸

    🧘 MARY

    Last round of 20-15-10 KB presses, curls, and WWIIs. 

    🗣️ COT 

    • Name-o-Rama
    • Announcements
      • 9/25-27: GTE-74 Blue Ridge with 5 from RVA and 7-10 from Amelia
    • Prayers
      • For wind at our backs. For innocents caught in the crosshairs. 

    Dealer’s Musings:

    • Strong work today! My shoulders and arms are shot. 
    • Great hill work today. It’s no joke.

  • HB #17: The Iron Mile

     WARMARAMA

    Run around bus loop with high knees, Bernie’s, and butt kickers. Mosey to tennis courts for cherry pickers, Fudd and Wilson’s wives (hard to tell the difference in the dark), runners stretch, etc. 

    Mosey to track. 

    💪 THE THANG

    Iron Mile 

    Complete 4 laps (1 mile), stopping every 100 meters (at the straightaway starts and curves) to perform a pain station.

    • Kettlebell swings: 20
    • Goblet squats: 15
    • Thrusters: 10
    • Burpees (over the bell): 5

    Run the straightaways with KB racked on shoulder. Mosey the curves with different KB carries: waiter, behind the back, suitcase, rifle grip.

    Mumblechatter was non-existent. Weight was heavy. Hard work was done. 

    Mosey BTTF 🇺🇸 for a minute of flutters.

    🗣️ COT 

    • Name-o-Rama
    • Announcements
      • 3/7: L Woods has a volunteer event; DTH hosting Off The Books (OTB) ruck
      • 9/25-27: GTE-74 Blue Ridge with 5 from RVA and 7-10 from Amelia
    • Prayers

    Dealer’s Musings:

    • We were under heavy KB weight all workout. 
    • That is not dissimilar to the weight we carry – personal, professional, familial, said, unsaid.
    • God is the stable foundation upon which to stand especially when carrying heavy loads.
    • Put Iron Mile on the list with Michigander.

  • Come On Baby, Light My Fire

    🔥 WARMARAMA

    A jog with some butt kickers, high knees, and Bernie’s. Light exercises to get us into the Valentines Day mood: monkey humpers, pickle pounders, Fudd’s wife and then Wilson’s wife. 

    Turned on Valentine’s Day playlist. Finding love songs that were not slow and sappy was a task but we succeeded. 

    Mosey to the turf field to recount love lost. 

    💪 THE THANG

    Cupid’s Arrow 

    To honor all those times the teenage PAX were shot out of Cupid’s bow like a love arrow only to suffer heartbreak and then mend. 

    • The Arrow: 100y sprint across fields. 
    • The Heartbreak: Bear crawl various lengths back. 
    • The Mend: Walk the rest back to the start.
    • Repeat 4 times.

    Heart Rate Escalator

    A ladder-style burn to ensure the PAX left with a rosy red face.

    • 10 Burpees
    • 20 Groiners
    • 30 Big Boys
    • 40 Squats
    • 50 Side Straddle Hops

    Then we worked our way back down.

    Now that the PAX remembered love, suffered heartbreak, and healed, they were ready to tie the knot. 

    The Wedding Ring

    The PAX forms a large circle.

    • Everyone holds a Plank. One man runs around the outside of the ring. When he returns to his spot, the next man goes.
    • If the “Ring” collapses from plank we go “through the big D and I don’t mean Dallas.” It was a long, lovely marriage, however. No divorce penalty. 

    Mosey back up the hill for one final push. 

    Heartbreak Hill

    Move the whole PAX to the base of the hill to climb the Valentine’s ladder.

    • Run to the top: 14 Merkins (for Feb 14th). Run down.
    • Run to the top: 14 Squats. Run down.
    • Run to the top: 14 WWIIs (Wide-grip). 

    Mosey BTTF 🇺🇸

    🧘 MARY

    Various an burners. Ended with a minute of Alabama Prom Dates which is 45 seconds longer than any of the PAX ever lasted. 

    🗣️ COT 

    • Name-o-Rama
    • Announcements
    • Prayers:
      • For practicing unconditional love. 

    Dealer’s Musings:

    • Love is difficult but love is the way. 
    • Help us practice unconditional love and, when we are not, let’s try harder. 
    • Love my F3 brothers. Happy early Valentine’s Day. 

  • Frozen Triangle – Ruck Style

    Conditions were 10/10 gnarly (for RVA). Dry powder blowing sideways, snow and ice underfoot, and a wind chill that cuts to the bones.

    11 stud ruckers converged on the Frozen Triangle to remind the elements who’s boss.

    THE THANG

    Warm-o-Rama: DTH kicked things off with a high-speed Warm-o-Rama. The goal was to get the blood flowing and test traction underfoot before we set off. 

    The Ruck: We covered 8.9 miles of treacherous terrain. The ground was a mosaic of ice and powder, making every step a core workout. There was plenty of slips, but the PAX remained upright the entire time. Not one fall. Impressive given the conditions. 

    Bright blue skies, blinding morning sun, and  flags flying in the gusts. Some passersby honked. Others gestured. We waved back anyway.

    The conversation was deep. There is something about biting wind and freezing lungs that strips away the fluff and leads to real talk. We felt fully alive as we marched 8.9 miles closer to the men we want to be.

    Good work boys. 

    Next up is Frozen Triangle Part Duex on 2/21 0600 @ Dogpile. Let’s show up in number and have strong PAX representation.