Author: Hardywood

  • Southside Trifecta – Would You Like Rocks With That?

    Three braved and fearless men broke the tender grip of the fartsack this morning to dominate Batteau.

    The Thang:

    COP  – 20 X SSH, Imperial Walker, LBC, Freddy Mercury, +10 Merkin

    Triple Check – Three rounds of 1 runner with a rock of success to the light post and back, jump squats and pole smokers.

    Bob The Builder – Running with the Rock of Success stop at each light post and perform the following:  15 Mountain Climbers, 10 Merkins, 5 Burpees.  5 total light posts.

    Ascend the hidden path to the Valley Of Doubt.

    Start at the top of the hill perform 5 merkins, run to the bottom perform 5 WWII Sit Ups, ascend the next hill for 5 two count American Hammers and run back to the start.  Complete four rounds add 5 to each exercise per round.

    Numberama, Namerama, COT and Swirly lead us out.

    This was a good one fellas.  Anytime we can bust out the rocks, it adds a whole other level of fun.  Way to work it.

    See you in the gloom.

    -Hardywood

  • Tomorrow 9/27 Hump Day Happy Hour

    Gentlemen of RVA, here’s your friendly reminder that tomorrow, that you….yes you are cordially invited to our monthly F3 Richmond Happy Hour.

    Bring the M some flowers tonight, and get there.  We’ll have an F1 (workout) and F2 (happy hour).  Details below:

    Where:  Crossroads Coffee & Ice Cream (please don’t panic, they have a great beer selection).  3600 Forest Hill Ave, Richmond, VA 23225. Please park here.

    Workout Time:  6:00 pm sharp.  We’ll leave from the Crossroads parking lot.

    Happy Hour Start:  6:45 pm

    What To Bring: Dry clothes and money.  We will be sitting outside.

    Please email or text me with any questions.

    -Hardywood

  • 9/28 HDHH – I’ll See You At Tha Crossroads

    When:  Wednesday September 28th, 2016

    Time: 6:00 PM Workout, 6:45 PM 2nd F

    Where:  Crossroads Coffee & Ice Cream, 3600 Forest Hill Ave, Richmond, VA 23225

    Start saving up points with the M.  You got plans on Wednesday 9/28 from 6pm until how many points you have accrued.

    Just around the corner of the Batteau AO resides a foundational southside establishment nestled in the armpit of Forest Hill.  Crossroads Coffee and Ice Cream has been an institution for over 10 years.  Crossroads is home to good people, good music, outdoor seating and great beer.  This is an optimal location for our September HDHH.

    We’ll start at Crossroads and workout in Forest Hill Park.  Bring dry clothes and money.  Everything else should be taken care of.

    Be there.  Be super.

    -Hardywood

     

  • You Want Some Of This

    20 brave and fearless men arrived ready for success at this Labor Day 2016 convergence.  On this very special day F3 Richmond completed the Hot Potato Q.

    COP (Swirly) – SSH, Arm Circles,Don Quixote Homage to Abe Vigoda,  Alabama Prom Dates, Flutter Kicks

    Polar Bear Hurt Locker (Swirly) – Starting at the end of the paved section of the Carillon, begin a Polar Bear all the way to and up the stairs.  Complete a Russian solider across the top and Imperial Walker back down the steps.  Polar Bear Back to start.

    Valley Of Doubt (Saab) – Perform a modified Jacobs Ladder with the following.  Start in the center of the Valley, at which point you hit an incline bear crawl to top and perform 1 merkin.  Bear Crawl back down and perfrom 1 burpee.  Run to next hill, bear crawl at the incline and perform 2 merkins at the top.  Bear Crawl back to center and perform 2 burpees, etc to 5 burpees.

    Does My Butt Look Big In These Jeans (TYA) – Start at the bottom of the amphitheater and perform 1 incline merkin at the first step.  Complete 2 at the next step, etc. to the top of the 18th step.  Once at the top perform 18 squats on the top step, 17 on the next step, etc. to completion.

    You Do Not Have Michelle Obama Arms (Blue Balls) – Divide into 3 groups and make a vertical line with all men in the plank formation.  Last man bear crawls to the front, with the next last man following him.  Perform this modified Indigenous Persons Run to some tree that was way the hell far away.  Once at that tree, turn around and head back to the starting pole this time with a Crab Walk Indigenous Persons Run.

    Fourtastic (Rosie) – In the Carillon Field perform 10 burpees at the first corner, run like hell to the next corner and perfrom 20 merkins, keep going to the next corner for a fun round of 30 squat jumps and wrap up this success square by running to the final corner and completing 40 flutter kicks.

    Indigenous Persons Run (Gumbo) – Divide into two teams and perform this exercise back to the flag.  Bonus points for burpee before it was your turn to run.

    Merkin Mary – Circle up for a little Mary Merkin action.  Each man holds a plank with one lucky fella completing 10 burpees.  Perform this insanity until all 20 men have completed their merkins.

    COT – Numberama, namerama, Viral lead us out.

    Moleskin:

    Fact – Labor Day is not a holiday for women who have given birth.  So if you think that telling your M that Labor Day is just another reason to celebrate her, you will not get any extra points.

    Great job today fellas!  Excellent to see the great team work and the absolute domination of Merkins at the end.

    It’s an honor and a privilege to be associated with this fine group of men.  It is your job and only your job to make your week great.

    Aye!

    Hardywood

     

     

  • Death By Donkey Kicks

    4 brave and fearless men accepted the challenge at Batteau to break free from the sultry hold of the fartsack.  We took full advantage of this moment.

    The thang:

    COP (Hardywood) – 20 X SSH, Imperial Walker, LBC, Freddy Mercury, +10 Merkin.

    Indigenous Persons Run Pole Smokers (Swirly) – Line up with post and have your feet six inches off the ground.  The first man performs 5 pole smokers while the other men are holding their feet off the ground.  Once the pole smoker is done, that man runs to the end and the next one goes.

    10 X 2 X 3 (Swirly) – Perform 10 dips and 10 incline merkins. Complete three rounds.

    King Bear (Bleeder) – Spaced out among 5 trees each man performs a wall squat.  The first man bear crawls to the next tree and tags that man holding the squat.  That man then bear crawls to the next tree, etc.  Perform continuous sets for 5 min.

    Curb Crawl (Swirly) – Bear crawl to on curb and complete 1 incline merkin.  Crawl bear back to the starting curb and complete 2 incline merkins.  Bear crawl to complete 3 incline merkin, etc.  Work our way up to 5 merkins and then back down.

    Death By Donkey Kicks (Hardywood) – Start with 5 donkey kicks and start a 30 second timer.  Once the timer goes off complete 6 donkey kicks.  When the timer goes off again complete 7 donkey kicks, etc to 15 donkey kicks in a round.

    Indigenous Persons Run Up The Hill Of Ill Regret (Slurpee)

    Tenzing Sherpa (Hardywood) – 30 two count mountain climbers, 10 jump squats.  20 MC/20 JS, 10 MC/30 JS

    Mosey back to flag, numberama, namerama, Swirly lead us out

    Moleskin – At about 2 minutes before we started the collective Pax recognized there was no defined Q.  As good men do, we all stepped up to take the lead.  Today, as are most of the best days was a team effort.

    Of particular note was the work we did on the Hill Of Ill Regret.  It is one of the hardest hills in all of Richmond.  Our man Bleeder not only ran up the hill, but he completed every cycle of the Indigenous Persons Run.  I am 90% sure he has a bionic leg that is held together with duct tape, a baboon tendon and pieces from an Erector Set.  It’s hard to have any justifiable excuses when that kind of effort is shown.

    Also of note was the run up the hill by Slurpee. Just one week earlier, on the same hill, doing the same exercise he fell off the back and walked the hill.  This week, he came back with a purpose in his belly. Not only did he suggest it, but he dominated it.  This was a beautiful thing to see and a very sold effort.

    You guys are the best.  Big cheers to the brave men of Batteau.

    -Hardywood

  • Do You Even Lift Bro?

    9 brave and fearless men toed the line for the race we call life at W Dog this fine and beautiful morning.

    The thang:

    COP  – 20 X SSH, Imperial Walker, LBC, Freddy Mercury, +10 Merkin.  Homage paid to Gnarly Goat.

    Polar Bears – From the half field mark to the flower pots

    Kings Watching Soldiers – Four rounds with a partner.  One partner sit on the throne (sitting position with back against the wall) against the Carillon while the other partner runs to the flower pots and performs 15 WWII Sit Ups, then switcheroo.

    1030 – Mosey up to the top of the stairs.  Perform 10 dips and 30 merkins.  Next round perform 15 dips and 25 merkins, etc. until you are at 30 dips and 10 merkins.

    10 To 1 – Mosey to pull up station.  Perform 10 knees to elbows and 1 burpee.  Next round perform 9 knees to elbows and 2 merkins, etc. until you are at 1 KTE and 10 burpees.

    Mosey to amphitheater and complete 10 American Hammers on each step till YHC says stop.

    Mosey back to the flag.

    COT – Numberama, namerama and Viral graciously lead us out.

    Moleskin:

    Last week Swirly mentioned that when he leads a workout, he tries to do things that may not be in his core skillset (just yet).  Most of the workouts I have had the fortune of leading have involved lots of running.  Today, the running was minimal and the workload was maximal!  I haven’t heard that much grunting since I went to the National Zoo during gorilla mating season.  It was loud enough that Viral was able to find our group in complete darkness as he arrived after taking M Viral’s dad to the airport.

    In other news Flipper found out what a Merkin is and his response is so far it’s the best thing that has happened in 2016.

    Solid work today fellas.  You guys are warriors.  Hope to see some of you out tonight at Hillcrest!

    Cheers,

    Hardywood

  • The Million Merkin March

    11 extraordinary men dominated Dogpile on a beautiful Saturday including one FNG. The conditions were optimal for success.  We took full advantage of those conditions.

    The thang:

    COP  – 20 X SSH, Imperial Walker, LBC, Freddy Mercury, +10 Merkin.  Homage paid to Gnarly Goat.

    4 Rounds – Run up stairs at The Carillon, lunge across, back down, bear crawl to flower pots and run back to stairs.

    Ladder Of Domination – Picking six trees of semi equal distance apart in the field in front of The Carillon, run to the first tree to perform 5 merkins and 5 LBC.  Run back to start, then to the next tree line for 10 merkins and 10 LBC.  Repeat this to 30.

    Even Steven – Perform the following 10 pull ups (by any means) then run to the fire hydrant to perform 10 two count American Hammers.  Sets decline in volume to 8, 6, 2, 4

    Dora’s Valley Of Doubt – With a partner complete  50 burpees, 100 merkins, 200 dips, 300 SSH.  While one partner exercises the other runs the valley behind the amphitheater.

    Mosey back to the flag.

    COT – numberama, namerama and The Carpenter graciously lead us out.

    YHC is happy to report this workout produced a soreness that still lingers as a pleasant reminder. Without confirmation from the USGS, YHC is lead to believe that the sides of the hill got steeper and longer with each rep of Dora’s Valley Of Doubt. Bleeder has the best bear crawl on the planet.  YHC has it on good authority that the Maymont bear has hit him up on Twitter for tips.  Oyster is the F3 version of a pool shark.  No person at anytime should challenge him to a footrace.  He will pretend he has never run before, present you with an aw shucks look and then proceed to run so fast that his hat will catch on fire.  Welcome Bypass and congrats on the new job.  The Carpenter is so good at closing the COT he should look into doing that as a profession.

    It is with great intention that I present challenges that are just hard enough to have the little voice inside your head say “you have got to be flipping kidding me”.  Perhaps it’s one of those things that I really want to learn and that’s why it’s so important to me.

    Life is full of challenges and doubt.  For better or worse, I don’t know that you can live any kind of life you’d be proud of without either of those two things.  So rather than avoiding them, what I do think you can do is learn how to respond. When things look a little overwhelming and you aren’t sure you have what it takes, you have a couple of choices.

    You can throw your hands up in the air and tap out like normal people.  Or you can look at the pool of your own sweat and will your body to come back for one more rep.

    I say, one more rep.

    Hardywood

     

  • Yip Yap Three

    6 brave and fearless men showed up for F3 Batteau on a beautiful Monday morning.

    The Thang:

    COP  – 20 X SSH, Imperial Walker, LBC, Freddy Mercury, +10 Merkin.  Paying homage to Gnarly Goat part of the count was just a series of inaudible turrets like yips.  Mild laughter was heard among the pax.

    Valley of Doubt – Start at the top of one hill with 5 merkins.  At the bottom (of the valley) perform 5 dips.  Run up the next hill and complete 10 merkins, back down the valley for 10 dips, etc. till completion of 30 merkins and dips.

    Lunge down the hill of ill regret, at each lamp post perfrom 20, two-count American Hammers.

    Polar Bear – Bear crawl 5 steps and complete a merkin.  Approximately 100 yards.

    Tritons Revenge – Run around the pond.  At each lamp post perform one burpee.  Add a burpee for each lamp post to complete 10 posts total.

    COT – Mosey back to flag, numberama, namerama and Swirly lead us out.

    Fact, Flipper can crush the bear crawls. He got done so far ahead of everyone else that while he was waiting for us to finish he grew a beard.  EF Hutton set the standard for burpee excellence. We have a good group of men and it is an unbelievable privilege to have a serviceman amongst our ranks.   Outstanding to have Genny Light drive all the way from Chester.  BT made an appearance and knocked the rust off quite well.  There is a 50/50 chance he just went to F3 camp for three weeks so he can kick everyone’s ass at Dogpile.  Big cheers to Swirly’s son for the successful completion of his mission trip to Costa Rica and the gaining of some incredible insight into the great fortune it is to be an American.

    This was a hard earned workout and the humidity was no joke.  Our efforts were recognized with a gorgeous sunrise.  I think the genius of these moments is that they are earned.  We have pools of sweat as a receipt for the price we paid.

    At a morning meeting I was doing a little recruiting for F3.  My exact words were “It’s early. It’s hard. It’s not for everyone.  I think you’ll love it.”

    See you in the gloom.

    -Hardywood

  • We Eat Rocks For Breakfast

    4 brave and fearless men showed up for F3 Batteau on a beautiful Monday morning.  The conditions were ripe for the success flower to bloom.

    The Thang:

    COP  – 20 X SSH, Imperial Walker, LBC, Freddy Mercury, 10 Merkin

    Tritons Revenge – Run around the pond.  At each lamp post perform one burpee.  Add a burpee for each lamp post to complete 10 posts total.

    Cincos – Start with 5 Pole Smokers and 5 Merkins.  Add five more each round until 30 are completed.

    Lunge to bridge

    Highway To Hell – Pick up a rock of success.  Complete 20 squats with rock.  Run to stairs, up the brick path.  At the top perform 20 dips.  Pick the rock back up, run down the other side and back to where we started.  Complete 3 rounds.

    Mosey back to flag, numberama, namerama and Swirly lead us out.

    It is in the opinion of YHC that Mondays may be the hardest day to break free from the gravitational pull of the fart sack, but also the most important.  This group of men CRUSHED it today.  A big cheers to Slurpee for dancing with doubt and leaving it all out in the park.  Kevin Bacon is a warrior and dominated Highway To Hell, kudos to you brotha.  Swirly, you are the suffering sinsei.  Thanks for setting the bar so damn high every time.

    It is a privilege to plant the flag and dance with doubt in the mornings gentlemen.

    See you in the gloom.

    -Hardywood

  • The Polar Bear Closer

    5 brave and fearless men showed up for F3 Batteau on a beautiful Monday morning.  Much like a donkey in a dojo, this day was gonna kick some ass.

    The Thang:

    COP  – 20 X SSH, Imperial Walker, LBC, Freddy Mercury, 10 Merkin

    Valley of Doubt – Start with 5 merkins.  Perform 5 dips at the bottom.  Run up second hill and complete 10 merkins.  Back down to the bottom for 10 dips.  Alternating hills until 30 merkins and dips had been completed in a single set.

    PF Flyer – Lunge downhill.  At each lamp post (3 total) perform 20 two count American hammers.  Finish at bottom.

    Polar Bear Hunt – Perform Polar Bear Crawl (bear crawl with a merkin completed at every fifth step) for approximately 100 meters.

    Short Shorts – Backs against the wall in the squat position for two minutes.  To ensure we’ll look great if 1970s basketball shorts come back in style, perform this exercise with a chosen rock of success.

    20 For 20 – Carry rock of success uphill and complete 20 merkins and 20 dips.  Finish on the final set of stair another rock carry and 20 merkins, 20 dips.

    Mosey back to the flag and COT

    YHC was thrilled to see Oyster and Wilson rise with the sun on the southside today.  And no party like a forest hill party would be complete without Swirly and Flashdance.  Excellent work today gentlemen.  All the way around solid.  Bonus points to Flashdance for the overhead carry of the rock of up the hill of doom.

    It’s an honor and a privilege gentlemen.  Dominate your Monday.

    -Hardywood