Author: Heist

  • “D.A.B” run

    DAB: Not the gen Z dance movement or the apparent reference to this. I made up a new term for our “down and back” run. Today, we had an empty Q sheet and a Rosie with angry knees. I quickly whipped up this run (basically MOT towards Timberwolf via Woolridge and Charter colony).

    I think Doozy gets the prize for almost making it to Timberwolf. 2nd place goes to a pair of squirrels (Tobit, yes that Tobit and 100 percent Rosetta). The Duke and I had a nice conversation about wrestling, fatherhood (M is expecting and due in two months), staying in shape. We put in 4.8 miles at around a 9:10 pace (pretty happy with that).

    Prayers for all our wild and wonderful kids — that they stay safe and have fun during these summer months.

    Special prayers for Draper as he works through a challenging season — as OC put it, it can feel like moving boulders. I’m grateful to Draper for sharing his story today. These honest conversations remind us that every one of us goes through highs and lows — and that’s not just normal, it’s human.

    Draper took us out in prayer. BOLO for August home grown half.

  • Cookin’ with Rosie and Thaaaa Duke.

    Crisp april morning, which seemed to keep the pollen at bay. Challenging, potentially foolish run: https://tinyurl.com/Tough-run.

    I tried to maintain a lead over Rosie and The Duke, but of course Rosie defeated me by the time we arrived at the gravel road and steamed up the hill by the train tracks.

    Respect to The Duke, who has done a bootcamp, KB and a run all his first week. Enjoyed some cofferama with The Duke post run.

    Prayers for The Duke’s grandfather-in-law and Pax going through relationship struggles.

    Sign up for the May 2nd Century Run!

  • Not getting too old for this $#%T

    Turned 40 today surrounding by 16 of Richmond’s finest. What an honor to lead and kickoff my decade of silence. Quite humbling to see everyone come out today.

    Warmorama: Began my 1985 playlist, serenading the Pax with a little “Carless Whisper” by George Micheal. Jogged to the back of the school (near basketball courts) for various exercises, kicked off by 40 SSHs, and various stretches (1985 was apparently all about getting it on…..”Like a Virgin”…”I want to know what love is” all playing in the background.

    COP 1: Four corners with some Hall and Oates blaring. Prostitute style. 10 Carolina Dry Docks (I as born in Chapel Hill), 20 Heals to Heaven (In honor of the brief stint young Heist had in Lynchburg), 30 SSH, and 40 squats. 20 count.

    COP 2: Mosey to the picnic table area….”Take on Me” blaring for a triple check (picnic table stepups, and dips, run to flag pole). Walking cooldown to next COP.

    COP 3: 11s on the busloop (people’s choice of squats and incline merkins)

    COP 4: Heist made up light pole workout:

    Pole 1: 5 LBCs, Pole 2: 10 LBCs/5 Flutters, Pole 3: 15 LBCs/10 FLutters/5 Plank Jacks, Pole 4: 20 LBCs/15 Flutters/10 Plank Jacks/5 Heals to Heaven, Pole 5: 25 LBCs/20 flutters/15 Plank Jacks/10 Heals to heaven. Pole 6: 1 burpee/20 LBCs/15 Flutters/10 Plank Jacks, Pole 7: 2 burpees 15 LBCs/10 Flutters, 5 Plank Jacks, Pole 8: 3 burpess/10 LBCs/5 Flutters, Pole 9: 4 burpees/5 LBCs, Pole 10: 5 burpees.

    Cooldown Broga for a few minutes.

    Announcements:

    1. May 2/3 Century run – let’s get a full Alamo team on Team SWOOP! Seriously, these types of events build the F3 lore, which is what builds the Pax and sets the foundation for future leaders. LFG!
    2. Let’s try another push to get new guys out at Green Mile. Let’s consider at least 1 Wednesday a month where we come out in full force.

    Prayers:

    1. Prayers for Blacktop (loss of his father).
    2. Continued prayers for healing of Chipper’s daughter.

    Took us out in prayer. Thanked the Lord for 40 years on this earth, my wife, sons, and the friends around me and those not there today.

  • Twin headed demons takeover at Satan’s Hill

    KB day today at the Hill this a.m.  

    Warmorama: Disclaimers first. SSH, Windmills, Murica territory touch, Merkins, LBCs, scorpion kicks, Fudd’s wife, and Wilson’s wife. 

    COP 1: Heist says, “To the Hill!”

    Started at base of hill for a classic Lindsay workout

    1. Round 1: 10 KB swings, farmer carry KB up hill, 30 KB press, farmer carry KB back 
    2. Round 2: 20 KB swings, OH rifle carry KB up hill, 20 KB press, OH rifle carry KB back 
    3. Round 3: 30 KB swings, sprint farmer KB carry up hill, 10 KB press, sprint farmer KB carry back 

    20 seconds. Off to Warby

    COP 2: Warby leads Pax along “Satan’s rim of dispair”. 

    Hands on curb, KB pull throughs about 40 yards right, and then back the other way switching arms. Not good for the teeth yanking muscles. 

    COP 3: DORA of Death

    Partner up for 100 KB curls, 200 KB skull crushers, and 300 single count KB murican hammers. 

    Runner travels with KB from coupon pile all the way across the lot and back. 

    Time. Numbers. Names. 

    A few thoughts:

    1. Welcome back to Rosetta and Cookie
    2. Focker rucked with like 100 lbs of KBs to share. 
    3. Oyster came to renew his SOJ membership card. 
    4. Wildcat literally farted out fresh fried chicken today. 

    Announcements:  Celebrating lots of things at Alamo next three Mondays: Crabgrass 1 year, Fandango 1 year and Alamo 2 year (featuring three Qs from class 1.  Oh and Heist turns 40 at Green Mile on 3/26. 

    Prayers: Find strength in your fellow man. Seriously guys – F3 is the place to be for all men. We all need a laugh, some exercise or even just a pat on the back. We men often carry a heavy burden that goes unnoticed or takes a back seat to our family needs. 45 minutes each morning goes along way in changing perspective on both the good and bad times (see third F). 

    Fun leading with Warby today. What a HIM! That man has transformed a great deal over the last two years. I hope to see many more Warbys come out of our 2 year Alamo celebration. 

  • 80s love ballads and phantom flatulence

    Old hundred KB….what a great way to balance the grind of boot camps or running three hours in freezing rain.

    Warm up: Various movements and stretches to get blood flowing. Got the Hot Tub Time Machine soundtrack playing (seemed like a good idea at time).

    COP 1: KB 11s across the parking lot. Swings and KB squats. Farmer carry back and forth.

    COP 2: Mosey to the jungle gym area with Careless Whisper by George Michael begins playing, and I just kept it going. The shock value on the Pax was worth it. The walk over allowed me to invent the “quad of pain.”

    What’s that you ask? Dear reader, I will explain. Four groups of two. Four workout stations: 5 pullups, 6 Merkin pull throughs, 15 KB press, 20 KB swings. Four times through. Would probably adjust the rep count on the pullups by a few, same with the pull throughs. I think next time it will be 8/8/20/20.

    Mosey back to the flag, and sneak out a nasty SBD, which poor Hermey and Tzatziki accidentally taste. My apologies.

    COP 3: Back to flag for an arm blaster superset of bicep curls and tricpe extensions. Starting at 15/15 and cutting by 3 reps down to 3/3. Work back up to 15/15. Respect to Warby for finishing up even after we hit 6:15.

    Fill out the Rosie century run survey on slack.

    I led the group in a short prayer.

    PS: We miss you Cookie, and your salad shredder, your groans, colorful socks, and headgear.

  • Be my bro – Valentine’s day bromance

    How freaking great to have 17 dudes show up today! Especially awesome to have Nancy Lopez, McGruff, Katniss, Mudslide and Lwood. Hey – we even had an FNG! LFG.

    Playlist to get juices flowing: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3OWx0nSyWsRCq12atuQwpp?si=vntAyo3tTMu-Dp_m3iDAwA&pi=v0pqPE7bSqG8h

    Warm-up (10 minutes)

    • SSH – 20 IC
    • CHS – 10 IC
    • UKs – 10 IC
    • Deadman Hang
    • Merkins – 10 IC
    • Scorpion Kicks – 10 IC
    • Rosco’s mom
    • Fudd/Wilson Wife

    • Mosey to the base of the hill

    The Thang (45 minutes)

    1. “Heartbreak Hill” (10-12 min)

    • Partner Up (one PAX runs, the other works)

    • P1: Sprints up the hill and back down

    • P2: AMRAP exercise until P1 returns

    • Round 1: Merkins

    • Round 2: Squats

    • Round 3: Plank Jacks

    • Round 4: Big Boy Sit-ups

    • Flapjack after each sprint

    2. “Cinderblock Love” (12 min)

    • Partner Work: One PAX works, the other holds a plank

    • Four Rounds:

    • 15 Block Thrusters

    • 15 Bent-over Rows

    • 15 Block Swings

    • 15 Goblet Squats

    • Plank while waiting for partner

    3. “Love Hurts” (12 min)

    • Partner Carry / Wheelbarrow

    • Partner 1 carries P2 (or wheelbarrows) 30 yards, flapjack

    • 20 Pattycake Merkins (clap between each rep)

    • 20 Sit-up High Fives (partners do sit-ups together, high-five at the top)

    • Rinse and repeat for 3 rounds

    FNG – Andrew from New Market. Dude runs through the neighborhood all the time, looks like a straight beast. Worked on him since the summer to come out. Well, we finally did and Nancy came up with the perfect name “Focker” as he is a nurse and his FIL may have worked for a three letter agency. Welcome dude.

    Fandango had birthday Q at Alamo.

    Prayers for the special needs child that passed in Chesterfield county recently.

  • Frozen Triangle 2025: Pretty much the definition of completely stupid and utterly pointless.

    Cold, rain, miles, and misery: the perfect combination for a CSAUP to kick off 2025. 

    Here is how it all went down:

    20 Ruckers and a few straight through runners (Doozy and Big Rig) set worth, with the remaining 16 or so Pax joining Hitch for beatdown #1. 

    Hitch Beatdown (stretch session). Dude. Thank you. Hitch basically warmed us on under the amphitheater and did helped get us ready for the run. 

    Interesting side story: During the stretch session, a popping sound, followed by smoke came from Beaver’s head. Well, turns out his battery in the headlamp exploded. Damn dude!

    Grabbed the flags, ran to Punisher in freezing rain. Runners arrived around 7 a.m.  Had a few snacks and sips of Gatorade or Water. Ready for whatever NTB had in store. 

    NTB Beatdown aka the never ending fire bucket brigade: I saw the GrowRuck-style sandbags and started having GTE 47 flashbacks, but it wasn’t too bad. We were basically shoulder to shoulder, with our backs against the wall, in a squat position—handing over three bags repeatedly around the entire perimeter of the school (which took about sixteen minutes). One bag (sand-filled) was heavy as crap and became even heavier as it got waterlogged. The other two bags were not too heavy, and there were many guesses as to their contents (charcoal, Lincoln Logs, COVID spike proteins?).

    Looking around at the cold and soaked guys, Rosie and I could tell people needed to keep moving…off to Mary. 

    Run to Mary was fairly uneventful, runners arrived around 7:45 a.m. Triple claps to the pit crew who had all the refreshments ready to go!

    Beaver Beatdown: Triple check on the basketball courts. Runner to the fence and back, other Pax on merkins and sloppy donkey kicks. Next up, a very wet and cold Beast (all abs) on the tennis courts. I think this is where everyone’s hands started to freeze. 

    Everyone was eager to get moving, so away we went for the final stretch back to Dog Pile. 

    Runners arrived at Dog Pile around 8:40/8:45 a.m. and very much ready to get out of the cold rain. Everyone back by 8:50 a.m. 

    Numbers/Names. 

    Very cool to have an FNG brought out by Broadway to join the Pax today. Former Army and retired police officer. Murtaugh (Lethal Weapon) was the perfect name. Even at 54, Murtaugh is “not getting too old for this shit.”  Please watch this classic clip from Lethal Weapon 2

    Announcements (and sorry for rushing these, I was feeling pretty miserable):

    • April Hike/Ruck with Rodeo Clown to support Make-A-Wish. 
    • Beaver invited guys to grab some grub at Taco Bamba
    • And most importantly, Belay joins Team America as a US citizen in the next few weeks! 

    Ball of man. Wildcat took us out. 

    Hey – Big Thank you to everyone that showed up today, pushed through the weather and physical challenge of Frozen Triangle. Made me proud to see all the HIMs out there this morning. 

    And…HUGE thank you to the guys that volunteered to stand in the rain and make sure the participants had refreshments. Bulkhead, Cornbeef, Faceplant, Fudd, and UpChuck. 

    Everyone deserves a nap! 

    Stats below: Looks like runners go over 10 and ruckers just under 9.

  • Deflation, hole insertion, jacking, nut

    Sicko. We are talking about changing a tire here. Helping our dear friend Tater fix a flat.

    Poor Tater popped a tire wall at the local recycling drop off. Nevertheless, he was waiting for a Heist beatdown, flat tire and all, at good old Grid Iron.

    Warmorama: Lap around the frozen soccer field. Circle up for SSH, CHS, Deadman hangs, butt string stretches, LBCs, Roscos Mom, merkins, Wilson and Fudd.

    Thang 1: Mosey to Mt Pigskin for 11s. Start with one squat. Up Hill. 10 merkins. Work to 10 squat and 1 merkin. 20 second count from Bluemoon.

    Thang 2: Worked our way to pullup bars. For a triple check. Took a little while to figure this out with 11 dudes, but no problem. Runner to bridge and back (about 75 yards or so). Partners 2 and 3/4 did dips and pullups. The cold bar didn’t bother me because I have both heated gloves (Savior Heat) and SOJ gloves (Axeman tractor supply).

    Thang 3: Worked our way to pickle ball courts for a nice Dojo Dan martial arts session. Kicks, punches, etc. Nice way to recuperate for what came next: Four corners, prostitute style with the following exercises:

    1. 5 burpees (you end up doing 35).
    2. 10 merkins
    3. 15 SSH
    4. 20 squat jumps

    Lots of grumbling, but it’s good for you after all ! I think Hermey gave us another 20 count.

    Thang 4: Guys started shedding some hats, and jackets at this point after putting in the work. With the next 10 to 15 minutes we did step ups on the picnic tables, two minute wall sit, 1 cool down lap around the soccer field, followed by some stretching.

    Numbers/Names.

    Frozen Triangle in two weeks.

    Pray for guys in the Pax going through a rough patch and/or on IR.

    Moleskin: Great team effort fixing a flat. Shutout to Hermey, Pigskin and Bluemoon for providing a helping hand to Tater. The combination of past experience and YouTube lead the way. I do not think we will beat Nascar any time soon, but it is a start.

    Solid coffeerama at Bux. Thanks to Tater for covering coffee. Great seeing Fireman Ed and Chumbucket.

  • Cold as hell, but still slinging that iron.

    9 dudes got after it at Circus Maximus this morning. Knowing the Pax, I brought the 80s rock ballad and left the running shoes behind.

    Here is how everything went down:

    Disclaimers. SoJ takeover. Followed by me saying, “thanks for welcoming us.” Fudd, “us?”

    Warmup: SSH, Deadman hang, Ukrainian Soldiers, CHS, Merkins, LBCs, APDs, Flutters, Cobra/Downward dog

    Round 1: 3 sets (about 15 reps) of KB swings, KB squat, KB calf raises, KB lunges. One lap around bus loop.

    Round 2: 3 sets (about 15 reps) of KB swings, KB teacup (both sides), KB pullovers, Leg raises holding KB above chest. One lap around bus loop.

    Round 3: 3 sets (about 15 reps) of KB shoulder shrugs,  KB shoulder press,  KB rows, KB chest press, KB merkin pull through (only six reps). One lap around bus loop.

    Two farmer carry with KBs around the parking lot

    Time.

    Announcements:

    • Frozen Triangle 2/8
    • Bridge is cancelled this weekend. Fudd requests SOJ guys to roll deep again.

    Prayers for Roger Roger

    Moleskin: Did not recognize Blue Moon at first without the Goatee. Fudd’s fart sounded like air getting let out of a balloon. Thanks to Off

  • !Congrats Señor Frog!

    Hey Hey! SoJ takeover today at Hoedown. Most importantly though, congratulations to Señor Frog and the future Señora Frog who tie the knot this May!

    Nine guys total. Three (depends how you count Oyster) and Six westenders.

    Warmorama: Mosey to 3rd RVA parking lot for some lateral jogging, butt kickers, SSH, deadman hang, CHS, APDs, flutter kicks, hamstring stretches, Rosco’s mom stretch, merkins, Wilson’s wife, followed by Fudd’s wife.

    COP 1: Mosey to back of 3rd Rva. 3x groups of three for a triple check! Runner to end of parking lot and back. Two partners doing squats and mostly modified donkey kicks.

    To express my disappointment with the donkey kicking, there was only one conceivable option. Pigskin wall beatdown. And so, upon my request, the man/myth/legend himself led us in a series of walk work, including: balls to the wall, thigh slaps, toe taps, mountain climbers and donkey kicks OYO. All the grumbling was music to my ears!

    20 second count.

    COP 2: Worked our way to the spillover lot for a four corners workout: Corner 1: 5 burpees, Corner 2: 10 merkins, Corner 3: 20 LBCs, Corner 4: 30 jump squats. Prostitute style = 35 burpees.

    On the way to COP 3….Señor Frog lead the way to the playground and literally pulled off an impromptu slide down a hill (both feet, did not fall). I cautioned, “be careful Frog!” His reply, “gotta have fun sometimes!”

    COP 3: “7s” Pullups and either dips or squats across the frozen tundra Tuckahoe elementary playground.

    BTTF

    Announcement:

    1. Frog is getting married! May 17th.
    2. Frozen Triangle 2/8 at DP. 6 am.

    El Heisto took us out in Prayer.

    SoJ week continues. I will be out there at least two other times. Hint: Pigskin will probably see me at the next three.