Author: Heist

  • KB madness

    9 dudes today (even long lost SOJ buddy Oyster) got it done at Old Hundred.

    Warmorama: Lap around the lot followed by various warmup movements, including SSH, KB swings, Ukrainian Soldiers, CHS, Merkins, and LBCs.

    COP 1: Dora. Line up along short side of parking lot. Partner up (1 group with a shadow). 100 KB swings, 200 KB press, 300 KB squats. Runner jogs across parking lot and back.

    Farmers carry to the playground.

    COP 2: Triple check. KB swings and KB merkin pull throughs. Runner does 5 pullups, jogs to basketball court, does 2 burpees and returns.

    20 count. Farmers carry to the picnic area.

    COP 3: Slow KB exercises and supersets.

    • 2 sets of KB curl 21s/KB tricep extension.
    • 1 set of mountain climbers (20x)
    • 2 sets of KB rows/KB front raises

    Pistol carry to end of sidewalk, followed by farmers carry to flag.

    Cooldown: 3-4 minutes of stretching.

    Announcements:

    • Sign up for the SOJ takeover (starts next week). If you don’t, sign up to Q home base.
    • Frozen Triangle. Saturday February 8th at Dog Pile. Starts at 6 am.

    Prayers for Saylor. Lord — heal her.

    Great work guys. Until next time!

    Shoutout to Hermes who went back home to grab a KB for Ponch! What a guy.

  • Frozen Triangle 2025

    Frozen Triangle 2025


    Who: All Pax

    What: An epic CSAUP involving running or rucking to various AOs, stopping for a brief bootcamp at each AO.

    When: February 8, 2025 (day before superbowl). Beginning at 6 a.m. Wrapping up around 9 a.m.

    Where: Route begins at Dog Pile ==> Lynwood Elementary ==> Mary Munford ==> Dog Pile. Here is the route: https://tinyurl.com/2025-Frozen-Triangle-Route

    Why: It is a CSAUP. You get to burn a bunch of calories prior to superbowl. Be a HIM. Wave around the American Flag. To quote one of the greatest HIMs, “Transformation does not happen in the comfortable middle. Transformation happens at the hard edges. ”

    What’s next, how can I help?

    1. We need people to Q at Dog Pile, Punisher, and Mary. I have reached out a few via DM (check your messages).
    2. DTH to lead rucking group. Thank you.
    3. Need a team to lead provisions: I wanted to try something new for snacks/drinks this year. My idea being we could have a few guys drive an suv/van loaded snacks/drinks (I will provide) that meets the runners/ruckers at each destination. 
      This group would basically “setup” before arrival. If they want, participate in the AO beatdown. Then load up the supplies and move on to next AO waiting for people to arrive again. I think this would be a better approach because we won’t have to preposition vehicles or snacks. 
    4. Would you be interested in helping or participating? Let’s go!!

  • No more slurpees for the Alamo guy. Just slush.

    title refers to this current event: https://www.wtvr.com/news/local-news/7-eleven-fire-time-square-drive-chesterfield-jan-5-2025

    Anyway – six dudes today. No injuries.

    Warmorama: SSH, squats, merkins and some stretches.

    COP 1: Triple check behind the pool: Squats and Merkins. Runner to edge of woods and back.

    COP 2: Slide over to the bunker for 11s in the dry part. SSH and 2x flutters.

    Next – gave option to check out the burned down 711 or stay in the bunker for beatdown. Good choice from Pax because the beatdown would have involved burpees. Jogged to 711 and back. Yup. It’s burned down. News crews there for the story of the day. Potentially the site of Chick Filet joint venture?

    Mosey back to Alamo for a very quick DoRA of 50/100/150 – merkins/squats/SSH.

    Numbers/Names.

    1. Pray for WC and his quarterly cancer scans 1/7.
    2. Pray for safety.
    3. Frozen triangle in 1 month.

  • KBs at Timberwolf

    Kicked off a first of several KB workouts at Timberwolf this morning. Flatulence, music, weights, and even down range guests.

    Warmup: Jog around school. Selected the grassy area by the cargo container for the following:

    1. Michael Phelps
    2. Shoulder stretches
    3. KB swings, moving from slow limited to full movement.
    4. Deadman hang (left/right/center)
    5. Merkins
    6. APDs
    7. KB press.

    Leg round: All were 3 sets with 10 to 15 reps.

    1. KB squats
    2. KB single leg dead lifts (using the pole for stability)
    3. Pole assisted KB calf raises

    KB farmer carry to Basketball court and back

    Core training (back at the pole). Three rounds of:

    1. Pole Smokers
    2. KB WW3 situps
    3. Left/Right Pole Smokers

    Move back to grass:

    1. Dog Pointers (both sides)
    2. Chest Superset: KB pullovers with chest press (2 sets) and 5 count tempo merkins. Feeling burn.
    3. Shoulder superset: Tempo drydocks and KB push press.

    Rifle carry KB BTTF.

    Numbers/Names.

    Join the New Kent guys for a surprise workout this Saturday at 7 am.

    Prayers for Liv.

    Great to see my guy Poolboy today!

  • No StateFarm for you!

    Poor Pax – the one and only StateFarm was supposed to show at Timberwolf this morning, but you got stuck with El Heisto instead.

    Mosey to front of school for a lap around the teacher’s lot to get my game plan on. Circle up for:

    1. Side Straddle Hops
    2. Dead Man Hang
    3. Ukranian Soldiers
    4. Middle school butterfly stretch
    5. Middle school left/right leg reach stretch
    6. APDs
    7. Hip abductor/adductor lifts (both sides)
    8. Rosco’s mom (both sides)
    9. Merkins
    10. Fudd’s wife
    11. Wilsons’ wife

    COP 1 – Mosey to the well lit picnic area for triple check #1 – Bench dips/step-ups. Runner all the way to far light post.

    COP 2: Hill 11s – squats and WW2 sit-ups…no rest move on to light pole alley….

    COP 3: Pyramid burpees at light pole alley 1/2/3/4/5/4/3/2/1…boom

    Brocode lap around the track…Hermey set the pace.

    COP 4: Over to the cargo box for triple check #2 – wall sits/pole smokers. Runner to basketball court.

    BTTF. Nombres/Numeros.

    Announcements:

    1. The Woodsman himself joins the ranks of leaders this Monday at the Alamo
    2. 12 day’s of Christmas at No Toll with the one and only F3 RVA Nantan himself Rosie.

    Prayers:

    1. Young father in Purple Rain’s hood died of stomach cancer. Prayers for the loss of that family
    2. Prayers for all the childen.

    Honor to lead. – Heist

  • Finest AO in town: Heist’s beautifully clenched butt cheeks and further exploration with Handshake. Korean twerking at Libby Market???

    Heyyo. A Baker’s dozen + 1 hit the mean streets of Richmond this morning for some good clean fun.

    5:30 a.m. let’s go.

    Mosey towards the north-side of the field facing the beautifully renovated Carilion war memorial for a warmorama (wave hello to Handshake coming in out along the way). F3 Mission Statement and Disclaimer.

    Waromrama:

    1. Side Straddle Hops (20x)
    2. Ukrainian Soldiers (15x)
    3. Deadman hangs (center, left and right)
    4. Copperhead squats (10x)…note that perfect form includes a clenched butt cheek at the top.
    5. Walkdown to hand’s for 20 merkins
    6. Reverse scorpion kicks (10x)
    7. Scorpion kicks (10x)
    8. APDs (20x)
    9. Flutter kicks (20x)
    10. Rosco’s mom (left and right). Pulling in knee each one.
    11. Wilson’s wife
    12. Fudd’s wife

    COP 1: Partner catch me if you can across the field towards the Carilion. Bear crawls, lunges, and broad jump burpee (some how we got really close to the end of the field and most only did like 10 yards of these).

    COP 2: Carilion looked so nice, had to explore it. On the fly workout. Instructions were to do 2x dips on every other step up the right side of the Carilion, go around the upper area and down the left side down 2x incline merkins on every other step. Grumbling from Pax that we had too many people, so we split into two groups and switched sides.

    COP 3: Longest triple check in the world at the Rugby Road/Pumphouse Drive triangle. Three rounds of 1. running the triangle (or cutting through the woods), 2. flutter kicks, and 3. squats.

    COP 4: For context, Handshake through me the idea the night before of further exploration of the neighborhood southwest of Pump House Drive. With only 20 minutes left, Handshake led the way…for a modified DORA, some cul-de-sac touring, and river gazing. Oyster attempted three variations of the same joke that Heist couldn’t Q an entire workout (I think someone may have laughed at least one time). HA.

    BTTF: Most followed Pull out for his long cut, which was basically the half-pipe route. We all got back to flag with a little overtime under our belt (only a few minutes).

    Numbers/Names.

    Announcments:

    1. Support Honduras Mission Trips attended by our very own Pigskin and Gomer Pyle (Home | Friends of Barnabas, Healthcare, Honduras. $50 goes a long way.
    2. Support children in need by donating clothes for all ages. See Flatline for details.
    3. Join us tomorrow at the Rountrey Clubhouse (RounTrey, 3801 Graythorne Dr, Midlothian, VA 23112) from 3-6 pm, for some family friendly fun (chili, football, a few adult beverages). Bring the wife and kids (https://tinyurl.com/SOJ-Chili-Fest)
    4. Alternative Thanksgiving story (NSFW) at Mary Mumford at 7 a.m. Thanksgiving Day.
    5. 11/30 – Hitting the Bridge Ministry. See Heist and Hermey for details. Want to join? Meet at the Westchester WaWa (150 Pikeview Dr, Midlothian, VA 23113) by 6:15 a.m. We are getting Breakfast on the way back at the Cumberland Restaurant Online Menu of Cumberland Restaurant Restaurant, Cumberland, Virginia, 23040 – Zmenu (should be back to the Westchester WaWa by 10:30 a.m.)
    6. Secret Santa (see list setup by E.F. Hutton). Gifts will be exchanged at Rosie’s twelve days of Christmas on December 17th at No Toll. Not a white elephant DK.

    I took us out in prayer. Thanks for coming out.

    Good times at Libbie Market. I had the breakfast pizza and cornbeef hash. Coffee was extra hot today. Good discussions on DOGE, FED, Disney, HVAC, etc. At one point we looked over to see Hitch moving his hips in a saucy fashion, possibly Korean version of twerking.

    P.S. the mean guy way there too

  • Track and Field day

    10 of SOJs finest got some good training in this morning at good ole Timberwolf. 

    5:29:45 am. It’s not Tzatziki (he was there), but twas Don Draper! Alright – off to the basketball court for warmorama. 

    Warmorama: A few laps around the court to get my workout ideas together. Circle up. F3 mission statement/disclaimers, etc. Exercises were: Side Straddle Hops/Abe Vigodas/Wind mills/get on the ground for some flutter kicks/an extra long session of APDs/highschool sit and reach left and right/Rosco’s mom left and right/Wilson’s wife/Fudd’s wife. 

    Off to the track:

    COP 1: Track 11s. Imagine the track as a clock. We started at 3 o’clock with 10 LBCs and 1 squat. Continuing along at 12/9/6 and back to 3. Finished with 10 squats and 1 LBC on lap three of   position 6. Sprint 1/2 lap back to position 3. 20 count from big Herm. Pax needed it. Also, way to go Mudslide who finished first! Damn boy!

    COP 2: Line up along east/west sidelines of field. Sprint 10 yards and back. 1 burpee. 20 yards and back. 2 burpees. Repeato up to 50 yards. 

    Another walking breather to North Endzone. 

    COP #3 Wind sprints! Line up on North endzone. Full 100 yards sprint. Walk back. Repeat total of three times. Atta boy Rudy!

    About 6:02 on the watch. Mosey to tennis courts for a cool down 4 corners/prostitue style. Corner 1: 10x Merkins, Corner 2: 20x squats, Corner 3: 30x SSHs, and Corner 4: 40x groiners*

    So, apparently a groiner is this: https://youtu.be/Ci13plBZgj4

    I thought it was this: https://youtu.be/sPyipzzrjls

    When I got to corner four, everyone was doing what looked like this: https://www.dvidshub.net/video/699153/straight-leg-shuffle

    Oh well. 

    BTTF for some Mudslide Broga

    Announcements:

    1. Chili cookoff at Rountrey clubhouse 3 to 6 pm. Sign up and come. All F3 rva Pax and family welcome. https://tinyurl.com/SOJ-Chili-Fest. About 50 total Pax and family are coming. 
    2. TYA Thanksgiving beatdown at Mary. 7 am thanksgiving day. Be there!
    3. The Bridge. 11/30. Clown car with Hermey and me if interested. We do plan to stop for breakfast on the way back. Likely meet at the Weschester WaWa for pickup (say 6:15 am). Drop off there by 10:30 am.  Information on the Bridge. https://youtu.be/_vO8DgTGyh8?si=vamAaBjVZYfF2DtU

    Prayers for Dax! May he get big and strong!

  • Studfinder VQ – Mudslide inspired beatdown at Satan’s Hill

    Ghost writer here for Studfinder. 20 dirty dogs came out to join old Studfinder this past Friday at Satan’s Hill to cap of VQ week.

    Good job on warmup and the introduction. After all that, Studfinder introduced 13 stations of pain. Partner up, about 2.5 minutes each rotation.

    1. Tug of war 

    X3 then stretch w/ rope 

    2. 20 squat run hill 20 squat 

    3. Jump rope 

    4. Bench press x200

    5. 15 pushups run hill 15 more

    6. Medicine ball squats 

    7. 15 chest to bar run hill 10 more

    8. Lunge with weights to curb/cone x2 

    9. Overhead press x150 

    10. 10 burpees run hill 5 burpees 

    11. Farmers walk to cone x2 

    12. Curls x200 

    13. 20 side strat hops run hill 20

    Studfinder prayed us out.

    Sign up for Chili cookoff.

  • Ask and you shall receive

    Crabgrass said my last few workouts were weak. Giddy up.

    Waromrama: Guys thought it would be a nice slow warm up. Nope. Mosey to stop sign and back. Hit play on a remix of TI’s “Turn down for what.” 4 min of side straddle hope and burpee at each “turn down for what”. Some stretches. Turned the heat on again. Next song, “We will rock you” for tuck jumps with squats.

    Part 1: Grab a block, a partner and meet me up halfway up the hill. Block Dora – 100 push press, 200 block squats, 150/150 curls and tricep extensions. Runner going about 75 yards up the hill and back.

    Part 2: 4 corners of death. Start at top of the hill and run the big loop and back.

    Partner up. Run with block to each corner and split carry duties. 1st team at corner earns 5 burpees (everyone did 5 burpees at each corner btw). Corner exercise led by VQ boys, Meatball, and Cookie.

    BTTF. Pile up the blocks. Pax sat down in a row for a few rounds of block handoffs. Then pass back with press, then ww3 situp. Time!

    Annoucements

    VQ week next week, daddy daughter dance Saturday and Chili cookoff Nov 24 at Rountrey clubhouse.

    Wildcat prayed us out.

     

     

  • Journey into “Satan’s Taint”

    Journey into “Satan’s Taint”

    This morning, we ventured into the dark and twisted heart of the First Watch—the infamous Satan’s Taint, a desolate stretch that dead-ends in the ominously named Satan’s Butthole. Spirits were high, and headlamps (at least mine) were on, as we descended into this unknown territory.

    The Warmup

    We jogged down to the taint, did a few warmup exercises, and braced ourselves for what was next.

    The Main Event

    Our main workout was a mailbox interval special: two mailboxes forward, one mailbox back, with each PAX cycling through ab, leg, and upper body exercises. But somewhere along the way, we noticed Handshake was missing. Fears grew that he’d been swallowed by the darkness—or worse, Satan’s Butthole. Just as a search party was about to form, he emerged, bewildered but alive, claiming to have been “checking out the butthole.” Crisis averted!

    The Finale

    With the full squad back, we wrapped things up at the flag with a triple check of LBCs, drydocks, and a runner. Teamwork was strong, and the laughter about Handshake’s brief disappearance even stronger.

    COT

    With another successful expedition complete, we gave thanks that all had returned safely and that Satan’s Taint hadn’t claimed a PAX member this time. Until next time, darkness!

    Announcements:

    1. VQ week down south next week.
    2. Family chilly cookoff. Rountrey clubhouse. November 24. 3-6 pm. Yes football will be on.

    Prayers for all the sick friends and family. Praying for national unity.