Author: Daniel Tiesworth

  • Johnny is the goodguy

    COP

    In light of the recent release of season 3 of the best teenage drama ever, we began cobra kai training at the clubhouse. SSHs, helicoptors, jazzercise, merkins, front kicks, side kicks, and shuffle jabs. Off to find the beast of new market again.

    THANG

    The Beast was located at New Market 2. It was dark, quiet, and 72 degrees. Perfect weather to destroy him, and the kai’s were animals. YHC was impressed with fortitude and speed of the PAX. It was an altered beast –

    first 6 stops were 6 ssh’s, next was 6 ssh’s followed by squats, stack those up with merkins, 4th set to add in was plank jacks along with the 1st 3 excersises, then WWII’s, finally hello dolly’s. Beast was slain, with some time left. Back to clubhouse with Nancy leading. No one told him this wasn’t a race.

    YHC called some sprints, a mary circle and was out of steam but felt the cobra kai’s would benefit from a few burpees. Honeymoon disagreed. YHC believed the cobra’s had enough, but Johnny Lawrence (Nancy) felt compelled to utilize the last 1 min and 30sec for a session of plank balance exercise. Mumble chatter ensued. Strike first, strike hard, no mercy.

    Numberama, name-arama, prayers for pax, honeymoon’s dad and thanks be to God.

  • Altered Beast

    7 friday the 13th warriors posted for what started as Dan’s Dojo and ended with slaying the Beast of New Market at Satan’s Hill. It was 530. Let’s go

    COP

    The Dojo opened and we honed our front kick, side kick, jab, cross, and upper cut skills. On your 6 for some ab work and Rosco comes in hot and almost takes out the PAX. The PAX welcomes him and YHC decided that since Rosco missed the shadow boxing rounds we should indulge him. Mosey to leave Satan’s hill so that we might find the Beast in New Market division II.

    THANG

    Beast – The Hard Way. Exercises were SSHs, front kicks, copper head squats, mountain climbers, merkins, and LBCs. Start with 6 SSHs at 25/50/75 yards, mosey to 100 then back for 6 SSHs at 75/50/25. Wait for the 6. This was a BUILD A BEAST – every new exercise was compiled on top of the previous. TIme was almost up at 6th exercise so audible was called for only last 3 exercises at each station to make it back to Satan’s Hill on time. Rosco praised and offered a God bless you. With the beast slain mosey back to Satan’s Hill.

    YHC was disappointed and thought several of his markers had been taken after their careful placement the evening prior. With no Markers to be found on the 100 yard beast, the PAX continued running well beyond where the markers were after performing the 1st exercise. New markers for stopping points were designated, and what started as a beast s&%$ show turned out just fine. The cones were not taken. Turns out the PAX suffers gloom blindness.

    PAX was quiet this morning, with Rosetta leading most of the way. The men pushed hard and stayed ahead of the Q for most of the beast. They themselves are beasts.

    Numberama, Namerama, announcements and prayer requests. Rosco lead us out with a good word, prayers for several of the PAX family members, and recommendations to look up Booker T Washington.

    It was a pleasure and privilege to lead such a fine group of gentlemen.

  • there was rain, there was us

    2 dudes arose from the sack and defied all odds to post in the rain alone. It was wet and it was warm just the way we like it. With no Q on the sign up and just us at 530 we were off for a Hot Pot.

    There was a COP warmup with the typical COP stuff followed by track work disguised as 4 corners with 20/30/40/50 merkins, mosey on the straights, side shuffle on the corners. It was followed by 20 mountain climbers, 30 squats, 40 of something and 50 Carolina Dry Docks with mosey on the straights, bernie on the corners. We did another round and the only thing I can recall is that it was wet. Beavis lead a few DORA type double checks in between rounds with multiple exercises which YHC can’t recall all of – there were no surrenders, shoulder taps, LBCs. It was wet.

    We bailed on the track and took a mosey to the tennis courts. There I introduced Beavis to our local prostitute. She consisted of 10 merkins, 20 squats, 30 LBCs, and 40 SSHs. With her taken care of time was up.

    Prayers to our Good Good Father and a good beatdown under our belt. On the ride home we decided that the theme of the day would be forgiveness. “For if you forgive people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Matthew 6:14-15

  • 2 men and some rocks

    Two of New Market’s finest posted on sultree drive with a sultry morning to greet them for the billy madison back-to-school beatdown. Nancy lead off with a typical assortment of COP stretches, merkins, LBCs and such. With sweat angels already on the ground inside of 5 minutes, we were off to the end of the lot to do The THANG.

    It included boulders to rock our biceps and our shoulders.

    3 exercises (1st and 3rd repeat) before each of 12 rotations. 6 rotations were lead by Nancy “the Rock” Lopez and included exercises followed by a run around the perimeter of the lot. Exercises were an assortment of 12 of everything – rock curls, rock press, rock skull crusher, rock tricep press…you get it.

    turn it over to Herme – now the last 6 rotations. A variety of abs, merkins, more rock curls, etc. The exercises were followed by an array of advancing exercises to get across the lot – lunges, side shuffles, Bernie sanders, karaoke, front kicks, kung fu shuffle and possibly more. About the time I started wondering if it was raining, misting, or our own personal parking lot-moisture-filled cloud descending upon us, we saw New Marketeer Rosetta run by on his way to slay some miles.

    With the graduation ceremony in full tilt, we did some Mary and finished the sultry full body sculpting postgraduate class with hand-release merkins.

    Prayers to our Good God in the name of Jesus. Be safe, watch out for snakes and Rock on brothers.

  • there’s no Dirty in fighting

    As YHC neared the AO he was thankful to see other PAX members as many of the PAX said they may have tight backs this morning from lifting heavy the night before. YHC hasn’t picked up a Q in some time and had flashbacks of one of his first Qs on the way in to the AO. Due to the actions of TYA one saturday at Dog Pile, YHC had a misunderstanding of the Beast and confused the PAX on one of those first Q’s. The grumblings concerned the Q so he inquired and was enlightened by the seasoned vets. Apparently he was doing the beast the hard way. So, the plan this morning was to slay the beast the hard way. The PAX all mosey’d from home to the AO, so YHC decided to jump right into stretching out some tight backs.

    COP

    The typical combo of Jazzercise, helicopters, DQ’s and merkins that the PAX enjoys doing in front of passer’s by. Then a short mosey by the warriors to engage the Altered Beast of New Market.

    Altered Beast

    Excercises build progressively prostitute style

    6 merkins up and back at each stop, then 6 merkins + 6 double count mountain climbers and so on…

    merkins, mountain climbers, LBCs, APDs, hello dollys, Rosalitas

    With the beast properly slain and Dog Pound not pooped out yet we mosey’d back to the Flag for a victory training session at Dan’s Dojo.

    The Dojo featured an assortment of

    front kicks, round kicks, squats, timed jab/cross/uppercuts bursts, horse stance punching, Mr Miyagi’s (collar bone crushers), shuuto’s (soloplex busters) and sliding side kicks. A short discussion with Wilson was had as to whether crushing an opponent’s head was better for properly defeating an attacker as opposed to going straight for big jim and the twins.

    YHC got the feeling that his martial artist beast masters were properly debriefed. On to a modified DORA

    partner up for 50 merkins, 75 LBC’s while partner hits the hill

    With Nancy, Wilson and Dog Pound making light work of the Mod DORA we did a ring of MARY, merkin Ring of Fire and called it.

    Love the PAX, prayers we said for all of those out there in the matrix. Keep your head up, stay strong and we’ll be seeing you soon.

    “Never put passion in front of principle, even if you win, you’ll lose.”

    –Mr. Miyagi