Author: Machismo

  • F3 Bon Iron

    The Birth of “W”

    The Pax: Scram, L Woods, Machismo, Machine Head, Spencer (“W”)

    FNGs: 1 (Spencer, named “W”)

    The Q: Machismo

    The Thang: 4 Corners Prostitute-Style, Curb-Work 11s, and a Glorious Wall Detour

    The gloom welcomed five men to Bon Iron this morning, including FNG Spencer, who arrived just in time to catch the final disclaimers—a perfect start to the F3 trial by fire. YHC (Machismo) was quickly reminded that for a new guy, the mental hurdle of seeing a humble water spot and deciding “this is where we execute the LBCs” is part of the beautiful misery we cherish.

    After the mission was stated, we moseyed to the Cancha de Riverside for a proper re-calibration.

    WARMARAMA: Court-Side Calisthenics

    The Pax worked through the non-negotiables to prepare the soft tissue for the abuse to come:

    • SSH (Standard F3 count)
    • Imperial Squat Walkers
    • Mericans (Standard Push-ups)
    • The ever-blessed Don Quixote (Arm circles, forward and back)

    THE THANG: The Road to the Wall

    We stayed on the court to kick things off with a brutal 4 Corners Prostitute-Style beatdown:

    1. Corner 1: 10 Merkins
    2. Corner 2: 20 Squats
    3. Corner 3: 30 LBCs (Making excellent use of the court’s puddles, indeed!)
    4. Corner 4: 40 SSH

    After sufficiently draining the gas tanks and, perhaps, Spencer’s remaining inhibitions, we moseyed across campus to the curbs near the pavilion for classic 11s (descending one side, ascending the other).

    • Dips (Starting at 10)
    • Step Ups (Double count, starting at 1)

    With the clock burning, YHC decided the standard route back was too dull. The final leg was an adventure: a Crawl Bear down the ball field hill and through the woods in search of the border. What did we find waiting for us? A great, beautiful, tremendous Wall (and yes, impersonations ensued). We honored the discovery with 20 Hoe Downs before the final, hard mosey back to the Shovel Flag.

    COT/BOM (Circle of Trust / Ball of Man)

    The FNG, Spencer, stood at attention, ready to receive his permanent name. Given his background in political campaigning and his initiation into the gloom both by men bearing W’s, he was christened: “W”. Win for the second FNG coming to the ranks through Bon Iron. Welcome to the fold, brother! Nice recruiting L Woods.

    Mumble Chatter & Announcements:

    The haul to Riverside is a clock burner, and the baseball fields and parking areas near Bon Air offer plenty of future punishment potential. L Woods offered to take the Q on future occasions, but noted he’ll be Grow Rucking this coming weekend.

    Praises & Prayers:

    • Prayers up for Machine Head desire to have a baby.
    • Prayers for W and L Woods’ friend battling cancer.
    • Continued prayers and congratulations to L Woods and Erica on the pregnancy.
    • Kudos to Scram for outrunning his kids and getting out to keep up the intensity.
    • Prayers for a successful and challenging time for L Woods rucking next weekend.

    Always an honor to lead the men of Bon Iron.

    Aye,

    YHC

  • Bon Iron Soft Launch

    The Bon Air soft launch was a perfect opportunity to celebrate what it means to start a new AO, and to honor the legacy of the Richmond Flying Squirrels’ old baseball diamond. We rededicated ourselves to the F3 mission to plant, grow, and serve small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership.

    Machismo led the workout, beginning with a mosey to the grassy baseball diamond. With introductions and the F3 disclaimer complete, we kicked off with warm-ups including SSH, merkins, LBCs, Imperial Squat Walkers, and UKs.

    The Thang:

    We started with a tribute to the last games at the old Diamond with Thang 1: The 7 of Diamonds. We hit each base for a round of exercises, climbing the rep count with each trip: 7 burpees, 14 merkins, 21 squats, and 28 pickle pounders. Then, we ran it back down the ladder with 21 LBCs, 14 of something, and 7 Lt Dans.

    Next up was Thang 2: Triple Check. The PAX worked in groups of three. One partner did chain smokers, another did hand release merkins, and the third ran to the playground for 5 chinups before returning.

    Finally, we wrapped it up with a diamond classic in Thang 3: Run the Bases. We bear crawled to first base for 10 squats, crab-walked to second for 10 WWII sit-ups, and either Bernie-sanded or ran backwards to third base for 10 lunges, with a final sprint to home.

    COT (Circle of Trust)

    After the sweat and the struggle, we circled up for names and numbers. The inspiration for this new AO became clear as we heard from FNG, LFG. He hasn’t worked out in years, recovering from a viral infection that required the removal of fascia from his leg. As a father of two growing sons with special needs, his desire for a close, neighborhood-based F3 community spoke to the very core of our mission. This AO, a right fit for Bon Air with its strong ties to F3RVA through No Toll and The Forge, is a reminder of why we’re here: to serve and encourage our fellow men and build communities.

    Let’s F-ing Go.

    -Machismo

  • F3 Bon Air: The Maiden Voyage

    Bon Iron?

    Intro

    For a while now, an idea has been bouncing around in my head: Why not have a Saturday morning post a little closer to home? Rock N Roll and Dogpile are great, but with more and more PAX showing up at Forge, and No Toll gaining momentum, it felt like a good time to explore a new AO.

    So, I put out an e-mail suggesting we meet in two weeks. Within 30 minutes, Snuff was on the line, asking, “Why wait two weeks? How about tomorrow?” Text messages went out to reframe the plan for an immediate launch. The replies were crickets, with Last Call giving a firm “don’t count on me.”

    Nevertheless, a flag was planted by the glowing kiosk. Snuff and I weren’t waiting. We were explorers. We moseyed to the back of the elementary school, popping through the woods to Riverside School. The terrain was perfect: a large field for a sunken game of ultimate, a big hill, and a track with a brand new playground. We found the perfect spot for our first workout.

    The Thang

    Circle of Pain (CoP)

    We formed a line since there were just two of us and got into the work.

    • SSH (Side Straddle Hops)
    • DQ (Don Quixote), real slow
    • WWII (World War II Sit-ups)
    • Freddie Mercuries
    • Merkins
    • Ukrainian Soldiers
    • Imperial Squat Walkers

    Dora

    We moseyed to a small hill (that deserves a name) for a mini-Dora. We did a crawl bear to the bottom of the hill and traded reps.

    • 25 WWIIs
    • 50 Merkins
    • 100 Copperhead Squats

    Cocaine Bears

    We moseyed to the Bon Air Community Center for some Cocaine Bears—a bear crawl with a merkin at every line in the parking lot.

    The Wall

    After hitting the nameless pedestrian bridge, we found a nice brick wall for a mini-tabata. We hit each interval for 45 seconds each.

    • Wall Sit
    • Australian Mountain Climbers
    • Mohamed Ali
    • 30 Donkey Kicks (rest for the remainder of the interval)
    • Hoe Downs

    The Loop

    Next, YHC discovered a loop for a little duo. In the circuit, there were stairs for some Tooth Fairies: a runner goes up the stairs, Tooth Fairy-style (Merkin on each step) while the partner does Alabama Prom Dates. We thoroughly marinated the security camera with our pelvic thrusts before moseying to the next location.

    The Maze

    We found an interesting maze of circles, rectangles, and triangles connected with lines. YHC prescribed 5 merkins at every triangle, 5 abs at every rectangle, and 5 squats at every circle.

    More touring was had, then it was back to the flag for COT.

    Moleskin

    While there were thoughts of other locations such as Robious Middle, this little pocket of Bon Air felt like a nice oasis. There is quite a bit of nature and some good wide open spaces. With the Riverside School, churches, and Bon Air Community Center all nearby, there was plenty to keep us occupied and inventing new workouts.

    YHC felt like there is no time like now to start a new AO, and Saturdays feel like a great day to spread the love. We’ll be back out next week. Until then, Bon Iron might be a good new name for this AO, paying tribute to Bon Air’s establishment as a resort community at a railroad station for those seeking “Good Air.” And Iron, for as Iron sharpens Iron so one man sharpens another.

    COT

    Numbers: 1 then 2.

    Names: Snuff, Machismo.

    Prayer: Prayers were had for redirecting energy as we find availability with Snuff’s kid going to school and filling voids in our lives.

  • under the lights.

    Machismo ran the Q of 11. It was Raining as the humidity formed Salt Licks on the faces of the Pax who were so exhausted they were turning Purple. (This is an unedited version of this backblast as Machismo makes no mistakes)

    Warmarama was a quick pace till YHC slowed it to a hault with DQs and Helicopters

    Ready for take off pax did a catch me if you can that ended with Belay and DTH flying through handoffs of WWIIs and Bernie’s. Just don’t do 10 WWIIs for a catch me if you can next time Machismo or make it a crawl bear cmiyc.

    COP 2 Chain gang pax lined up in balls to the wall and IPed to the entrance to the field.

    Some attempt was made to simulate a football warmup- again coaches thank you.

    first and 10 11s at intervals 10 yard line on up 10 Scrunchie frogs 1 SSH on down.

    Mosey to Mt. Chap Senor Frogs with 10 merks at the top of each nole.

    6M.O.M. at the top of Mt. Chap.

    Sunrise was beautiful. Enjoyed being with you all this morning. Pax drank in the sunshine and appreciated the fellowship this morning. Take your Sunny right into you day gentlemen. Missed some of the regulars @snuff, @lastcall.

    Respect was paid to those coaches keeping our kids in shape.

  • Da Bears

    No bear crawling was had but an FNG Packers fan got a new name here at No Toll. Welcome to the newest member of the Bill Swerski club “Ditka”. Machismo with cameos form Last Call had the Q this morning and YHC was glad for some of the audibles. Here’s what went on:

    Warmarama: F3 mission statement: To plant, grow, and serve small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership. Pop Quiz in front of our FNG what are the five core pinciples of F3 “Leave no man behind” = 10 Burpees Faith= 10 burpees. Finally Pax got out Free of charge, Open to all men, Outside rain or shine, Guys rotate the Q, and Ends in the COT. FORGE acronym credit to DTH. SSH, Merkins, Freddi Mercury, Peter Parkers, American hammers, UKs, ISWs and DQs were had.

    Human conveyor belt started with 5 Australian mountain climbers then digressed to just holding balls to the wall as the last in line ran to the front circling the Tennis court by the water tower.

    Next was 4 corners prostitute style with 10 merkins, 20 freddie Mercuries, 30 squats, 40 SSH.

    Next was eye of the mericane at the pavillion with 25 of each Big Boy Situps, American Hammers, SSH, and monkey humpers (thanks Last Call for the popcorn mod).

    Pleasure leading this morning good energy and movement even though YHC didn’t quite know what he was getting into with the human conveyors, and the peter parkers. Not hard to sweat in these temps. L woods and NTB looking for EHs for GTE Cary – if you haven’t done it YHC would recommend it. A brief search of slack returned no results for homegrown half for this year so YHC will have to trust pax announcements that is coming on the 16th out of Twin Team Robious Landing park.

    YHC is looking forward the Snuff underground Q at the Forge Thursday.

    Reflections were made on the sacrifices that the ancient Israelites made of their most precious gifts the lambs. I was reflecting on how much we are sacrificing to buy more time and giving more to Snuffs AI 2027 plan. We are relinquishing bits of humanity to the machine in order to gain a few minutes. I challenge you that as we gain moments of productivity let us look to continue to engage with our F3 brothers, coworkers, and family, and as the author of Romans 12:1 states, “offer your bodies as a living sacrifice.” SYITG. Machismo out.

  • 300-12

    Machismo took the Q as 16 Hims conquered the fields of No Toll for Merkin inspired workout.

    F3 Mission was read: To plant grow and serve small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership.

    Disclaimer was given, but not as good as the one Dookie read to us.

    Wamarama: various exercises were done and intro to 300 given. Counting down from 24 sequentially with an exercise totals 300. The goal for the day was to complete 300 Merkins.

    Props given to DK and here to Rosie (330 and 329) cumulative appearances at No Toll. When YHC thought he was streaking with 28 appearances it is humbling to be with you all keep up the good work.

    COP 1: touch a sprinkler triple check. Squats and APD. Q audible added the touch a sprinkler variant for the runner. DTH tried hard to remind YHC to keep up the count on the Merkins. 23,22, 21, 20….

    Run around to the other side of the field

    COP 2 Dora 100 arm circles, 200 SSH, 300 Mountain Climbers 19,18,17

    COP 3 various rounds of exercises witling down the 300 merkins.

    It was a pleasure to lead this fine group today.

    Announcements were given: Flag football at the forge on Thursday, Deliverance at Huguenot Flat Water, Ruckhenge, Harper’s Mill AO moving? find it on slack.

    Prayer requests for Machismo hiring a new PM.

    Naked Moleskin: This idea of 300 came from Machismo’s son Ben who participated in a 3,000 pushup and memorization of 12 bible versus over 10 days at camp. Guys you have sharpened me and I’m thankful for you all and leaders and leaders around us for the way they sharpen our community. Here are the versus he memorized:

    ‘ Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away. For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits. Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. ‘

    James 1:2-13
    https://www.bible.com/bible/59/JAS.1.2-13

  • White Truck for Sale

    8 Steeds lined up to pay the toll at No Toll but one Clydesdale couldn’t raise his frame above the bar. Machismo had the Q as called by 9pm the day before.

    Pax moseyed to the tennis courts and under the memorizing impact of mumble chatter and the sunrise lit water tower, no one could keep in cadence for the classic SSH. There was talk of mutiny. YHC continued through and moseyed to the routines.

    1st Quatro de Checko really just 4 guys in a triple check and a partner. Merkins, squats, run across the field.

    Thang 2: Dora: 100, 200, 300 Lunges, LBCs, Arm Circles

    Thang 3: Parking lot lines Cocaine bears half way. Squat ladder.

    Pay toll again.

    Cool arama and with a cherry on top. YHC set the tempo on SSHs – pax could end the pain by stoping exactly at 10. Mutiny averted.

    Announcements: Timberwolf has some sort of sport theme this summer.

    Summer tour includes stops at various A.O.s

    Prayer requests for Belay and healing for his herniated disk and safe travels to Iceland for his sisters wedding. Turns out the pastor pulled the rug out from under him, as he was going to administer the I dos.

    Naked Moleskin: You guys are awesome. Glad to spend my mornings with you. Lift each other up and continue to shine your light. Keep it real. Machismo has a white truck for sale and here I get a call from Molly today asking to come see it. Could it be DKs wife? Lol she has no clue who David Kearfoot is.

  • Machismo’s Unexpected Q

    Introduction: Machismo Interrupted the International Intrigue

    The air hung heavy with anticipation, not just for the impending pain, but for the latest installment of O.C.’s gripping tales of youthful indiscretions abroad. Just as he was reaching a particularly scandalous crescendo involving questionable trash can vandalismo, Machismo, in a move of audacious Q-jacking, declared his morning dominion. With the gravitas of a man who just found a rogue sock in the dryer, he somberly announced the NFL draft’s glaring omission of any F3RVA alumni. The mission was laid bare: to cultivate those vital pods of manliness, those crucibles of community leadership. A swift disclaimer followed, reminding all present that Machismo’s fitness expertise peaked somewhere around successfully opening a pickle jar. A blatant plug for Team No Toll’s undrafted free agent acquisitions and a stern warning against Q abandonment rounded out the preamble. Don’t let that Q linger, men!

    Warmarama: A Leisurely Stroll Through Stretches

    The warmup commenced with the deliberate pace of a sloth on tranquilizers. Machismo, clearly savoring his newfound power, lingered luxuriously on the Don Quixotes, each rotation a personal meditation. The tempo picked up slightly for Temp Merkins, followed by the spidery grace of Peter Parkers and the frantic scurrying of Mountain Climbers. Suffice it to say, the blood was eventually coaxed into circulation.

    The Thang 1: Eye of the Mericane – An Ab-solute Ordeal

    The Pax then engaged in a diabolical dance of Merkins and core-crushing corner capers. Ten Merkins served as the entry fee to a rotating gauntlet of abdominal torment: Scrunchie Frogs (ribbit!), LBCs (long, brutal crunches), American Hammers (forging six-packs of freedom), and Flutters (like a dying fish out of water). The cycle repeated, each return to the center a reminder that Machismo clearly enjoys watching grown men writhe.

    The Thang 2: Triple Check – A Test of Endurance and Bleacher Acrobatics

    Across the field we stretched, with one unfortunate soul sprinting while the remaining two engaged in a rotating torture of Plank Saws (Sable seemed a little too enthusiastic with these, sparking concern for the integrity of the turf) and Dips on the unforgiving bleachers. Word on the street is that Dealer, ever the dedicated athlete, is already logging stamina miles in anticipation of his September adventures. Forewarned is forearmed, fellas.

    The Thang 3: Pavilion Prowl and the 11s of Pain

    A leisurely mosey (Machismo’s definition of leisurely is debatable) brought us to the pavilion, the hallowed grounds for his beloved 11s. The unholy matrimony of Burpees and Lt. Dans ensued, a pairing designed to test the very limits of human resolve. Adding a touch of the surreal, a feline visitor graced us with its presence, promptly becoming O.C.’s new best friend. Perhaps it was drawn by the collective groans of exertion.

    Mosey Back and Cool Down: A Return to Stillness

    The weary crew shuffled back to the flag, the silence punctuated only by heavy breathing and the occasional mumbled curse. A brief cool down provided a fleeting moment of respite before the barrage of announcements.

    Announcements: Triumphs, Trials, and Tentative Fishing Plans

    A hearty congratulations to the Ragnar conquering heroes: Dookie, Sable, Snuff, Tin Man, Belay, Machismo, Last Time, and the freshly christened FNG, “Catfish”! Belay, never one to rest on his laurels, is now spearheading signups for the Richmond Trail Half Marathon on May 18th – get those registrations in! HC from the ever-present Sable. Machismo, in a stunning display of meta-awareness, announced he was still crafting this very backblast. Catfish, perhaps still processing the morning’s events, declared his immediate plans involved fishing.

    The Century Classic looms this weekend! Slack is your oracle for all the glorious details. Expect camaraderie, tall tales, and likely some questionable athletic feats. Heist is your point of contact – get on a team and prepare for legendary status (or at least some good laughs).

    Prayers: Lifting up our children as they navigate the transition into summer break. Prayers for joy, smooth changes, and for those venturing into college or summer jobs, may they discover their impact and purpose within our community.

    Naked Moleskin: It was truly my pleasure to lead you magnificent specimens of manhood through the gloom this morning. The ranks of F3RVA could undoubtedly benefit from more souls experiencing this fellowship. Let’s make it our mission to (gently) coerce more neighbors into joining our ranks. The pollen is fading, and even the local felines seem to be endorsing our early morning shenanigans

  • Run, Camp, Sleep? Repeat

    The rugged trails of Pocahontas State Park became a crucible of F3 fortitude as the Ragnar Trail unfurled its demanding course over two relentless days. Two 8-man bands of F3 brothers, including the tenacious crew from F3 Roanoke, plunged into the wooded depths, each leg a visceral test of both sinew and spirit. The exchange points pulsed with nervous energy and booming cheers, a constant churn of muddy warriors slapping hands and red,green or yellow slap bands, and launching back into the fray, each returning with tales etched in sweat and dirt of hills conquered and obstacles overcome. The cloak of nightfall added a primal dimension, the solitary beams of headlamps slicing through the inky blackness as runners embraced the suck, their rhythmic footfalls a testament to unwavering resolve. The legendary Snuff, our self-proclaimed serpent sentinel, kept a watchful eye for any lurking copperheads, while the indomitable Dookie ventured into the moonlit gloom for his final leg, the eerie glint of deer and spider eyes his silent companions. Saturday witnessed a Herculean push towards the finish line, weary limbs somehow summoning hidden reserves, fueled by the unbreakable bonds of brotherhood and the tantalizing scent of victory. A few hard-fought tumbles punctuated the effort, gravity claiming victims as fatigued legs faltered on unseen roots. Sable spent his final yellow lap eating humble pies as he passed the camp walking when no one was watching.  Our fearless captain Belay was “on” as he completed impressive sub 40minute lap times and helped to tether us closer to an ever increasing finish time. A hearty AO clap goes out to Tin Man, our venerable 50-year-old camping virgin, who, between fits of side cramps, laid down impressive lap times with a stoic grin and minimal sleep. The Ragnar Trail at Pocahontas was a potent forge of F3 fellowship, pushing each man beyond perceived limits and hammering home the enduring strength of our shared commitment. By the time the final runner crossed, any semblance of machismo lay vanquished in the parking lot, a testament echoed by the announcer’s booming pronouncement of FNG “Catfish’s” triumphant completion. With such a solid group and a chance appearance from F3 “Last Time” may the low hanging fruit of this Richmond native CSAUP garner more than 2 teams in years to come.  Shall we stoke a rivalry with our Roanoke brethren to galvanize attendance.   This AI aided back blast brought to you by team AYE AYE co captain Machismo for his spin on II and AI interplay.  YHC is thankful for the brotherhood but also for a quiet bed tonight without bullfrogs, crickets, and geese. 

  • Beast is Back mostly

    6 Beastly bods explored the confines of the nether regions of the forge. Gates opened laps were done of the 4 tennis courts and Warmarama ensued:

    SSH, DQs, UKS, ISW, Merks, LBCs, Oblique’s R&L, Plank Saws.

    Thang 1

    Dora on the long jump run. 3 lanes made for a good division. 50 Merk, 100 WWII, 150 MHs. Mosey to the track. Bear crawl half the loop, Crab Walk the other half.

    Thang 2 Beast

    25,50,75, 25,50,75 6 excercises at each quarter there and back.

    Merkins, American Hammers, Flutters, , Burpees, UKs time

    Scram got her done. Saw that @Handshake wasn’t on the Q so he stuck around for a Machismo Q. Great to get it done with a double respect F3 H.I.M. He’s a winner so far in his youth soccer coaching 2-0 and that is the goal. Prayers for the Ragnarians present and to be out there this weekend. Team Aye Aye will be starting around 3:30 and Running through the night. We’ve been training for this now it’s time to get r done.