Author: Machismo

8 Steeds lined up to pay the toll at No Toll but one Clydesdale couldn’t raise his frame above the bar. Machismo had the Q as called by 9pm the day before.

Pax moseyed to the tennis courts and under the memorizing impact of mumble chatter and the sunrise lit water tower, no one could keep in cadence for the classic SSH. There was talk of mutiny. YHC continued through and moseyed to the routines.

1st Quatro de Checko really just 4 guys in a triple check and a partner. Merkins, squats, run across the field.

Thang 2: Dora: 100, 200, 300 Lunges, LBCs, Arm Circles

Thang 3: Parking lot lines Cocaine bears half way. Squat ladder.

Pay toll again.

Cool arama and with a cherry on top. YHC set the tempo on SSHs – pax could end the pain by stoping exactly at 10. Mutiny averted.

Announcements: Timberwolf has some sort of sport theme this summer.

Summer tour includes stops at various A.O.s

Prayer requests for Belay and healing for his herniated disk and safe travels to Iceland for his sisters wedding. Turns out the pastor pulled the rug out from under him, as he was going to administer the I dos.

Naked Moleskin: You guys are awesome. Glad to spend my mornings with you. Lift each other up and continue to shine your light. Keep it real. Machismo has a white truck for sale and here I get a call from Molly today asking to come see it. Could it be DKs wife? Lol she has no clue who David Kearfoot is.

Introduction: Machismo Interrupted the International Intrigue

The air hung heavy with anticipation, not just for the impending pain, but for the latest installment of O.C.’s gripping tales of youthful indiscretions abroad. Just as he was reaching a particularly scandalous crescendo involving questionable trash can vandalismo, Machismo, in a move of audacious Q-jacking, declared his morning dominion. With the gravitas of a man who just found a rogue sock in the dryer, he somberly announced the NFL draft’s glaring omission of any F3RVA alumni. The mission was laid bare: to cultivate those vital pods of manliness, those crucibles of community leadership. A swift disclaimer followed, reminding all present that Machismo’s fitness expertise peaked somewhere around successfully opening a pickle jar. A blatant plug for Team No Toll’s undrafted free agent acquisitions and a stern warning against Q abandonment rounded out the preamble. Don’t let that Q linger, men!

Warmarama: A Leisurely Stroll Through Stretches

The warmup commenced with the deliberate pace of a sloth on tranquilizers. Machismo, clearly savoring his newfound power, lingered luxuriously on the Don Quixotes, each rotation a personal meditation. The tempo picked up slightly for Temp Merkins, followed by the spidery grace of Peter Parkers and the frantic scurrying of Mountain Climbers. Suffice it to say, the blood was eventually coaxed into circulation.

The Thang 1: Eye of the Mericane – An Ab-solute Ordeal

The Pax then engaged in a diabolical dance of Merkins and core-crushing corner capers. Ten Merkins served as the entry fee to a rotating gauntlet of abdominal torment: Scrunchie Frogs (ribbit!), LBCs (long, brutal crunches), American Hammers (forging six-packs of freedom), and Flutters (like a dying fish out of water). The cycle repeated, each return to the center a reminder that Machismo clearly enjoys watching grown men writhe.

The Thang 2: Triple Check – A Test of Endurance and Bleacher Acrobatics

Across the field we stretched, with one unfortunate soul sprinting while the remaining two engaged in a rotating torture of Plank Saws (Sable seemed a little too enthusiastic with these, sparking concern for the integrity of the turf) and Dips on the unforgiving bleachers. Word on the street is that Dealer, ever the dedicated athlete, is already logging stamina miles in anticipation of his September adventures. Forewarned is forearmed, fellas.

The Thang 3: Pavilion Prowl and the 11s of Pain

A leisurely mosey (Machismo’s definition of leisurely is debatable) brought us to the pavilion, the hallowed grounds for his beloved 11s. The unholy matrimony of Burpees and Lt. Dans ensued, a pairing designed to test the very limits of human resolve. Adding a touch of the surreal, a feline visitor graced us with its presence, promptly becoming O.C.’s new best friend. Perhaps it was drawn by the collective groans of exertion.

Mosey Back and Cool Down: A Return to Stillness

The weary crew shuffled back to the flag, the silence punctuated only by heavy breathing and the occasional mumbled curse. A brief cool down provided a fleeting moment of respite before the barrage of announcements.

Announcements: Triumphs, Trials, and Tentative Fishing Plans

A hearty congratulations to the Ragnar conquering heroes: Dookie, Sable, Snuff, Tin Man, Belay, Machismo, Last Time, and the freshly christened FNG, “Catfish”! Belay, never one to rest on his laurels, is now spearheading signups for the Richmond Trail Half Marathon on May 18th – get those registrations in! HC from the ever-present Sable. Machismo, in a stunning display of meta-awareness, announced he was still crafting this very backblast. Catfish, perhaps still processing the morning’s events, declared his immediate plans involved fishing.

The Century Classic looms this weekend! Slack is your oracle for all the glorious details. Expect camaraderie, tall tales, and likely some questionable athletic feats. Heist is your point of contact – get on a team and prepare for legendary status (or at least some good laughs).

Prayers: Lifting up our children as they navigate the transition into summer break. Prayers for joy, smooth changes, and for those venturing into college or summer jobs, may they discover their impact and purpose within our community.

Naked Moleskin: It was truly my pleasure to lead you magnificent specimens of manhood through the gloom this morning. The ranks of F3RVA could undoubtedly benefit from more souls experiencing this fellowship. Let’s make it our mission to (gently) coerce more neighbors into joining our ranks. The pollen is fading, and even the local felines seem to be endorsing our early morning shenanigans

Machismo opened big data recently to find that his No Toll streak was interrupted by a semi-colon. It’s a comma LWoods period. With a strong streak of 3 starting today. Machismo thought it would be good to get a little pre-OG workout in. 7 Strong H.I.Ms said Aye Aye and we went off on a mini asphalt based O.G. prostitute style. That was nice comma “I’ll have another” comma came the reply so more of the red light district followed. This time it was A.H. comma Scrunchy Frogs comma SSH comma and Mountain Climbers. Don’t put an “and” after your comma’s gentlemen. Rosie reminded us “if you want Big Data to work don’t screw with this.”

All jokes aside it is a pleasure to join with you all in way to many Merkins. YHC needs to get some more merkin time in. For those looking to extend the pain please look on slack for the latest CSAUP the 100. Also on slack OBT has a special screening Monday the 28th for Join or Die. You can sign up for the screening of the movie at the Byrd and OBT will be moderating a discussion at the end.

No prayer request spoken though YHC extended the call. In all seriousness let us continue to build one another up we don’t know what you you’re going through unless you share it. Keep up the good work.

11 not 10 cherry pickers assembled to harvest the fruits of Machismo’s Q. As indicated warmarama was longer than anticipated. conversation was fruitful as well.

Excercises were :

a well thought out animal I.P. run that YHC had been thinking about since 1am.

eye of the mericane with WWII 25, squats, 50, monkey humper 75, 100 ssh.

triple check with dips and and mountain climbers.

announcements: Ragnar team Aye Aye asking one more HIM to jump off the fence to the good side. CSAUP in coming notice on slack, SOJ leadership meeting tonight, Chilli cook off at L woods on the 22nd.

Prayers: Tapanga (Down range) mom Linda with serious eye surgery. NTBs M Courtney’s Grandma passed prayers for her family.

YHC is thankful to be surrounded by Men that are leaders in their families, workplaces, and communities. As I’m short staffed this week due to injury and circumstance your prayers are appreciated to find the right person to grow my team.

12 H.I.Ms. gathered for a burner of a workout at No Toll.

 

YHC grabbed the Q late in honor of taking the initiative or just being the last person to say “not it!”

 

Warmarama:  YHC lead the pax to the darkened courts if no toll.to do the following. SSH, DAS, UKS,  CHERRY PICKERS, MERKS, SHOULDER TAPS, Planjs Saw, A.Hs, F.M.s.,

 

Staying in the pldimly lit courts the pax didn’t rounds of four corners burners. 

 

Abs. 20,30,40,50. Scrunchy frogs, Freddie Mercury, American Hammers,  LBC

 

Squats, lunge, ISWs, Lt. Dan, monkey bumpers

 

Burpee, merkin, cdd, shoulder taps.

 

Triple check with WW2 and donkey kicks.

 

Leave the courts for a Dora.

50 merk, 100 WW2, 150 shoulder taps.

 

Mosey through the woods back to the flag. 

 

Announcements. CSAUP coming up see Rosie for details.   Team Aye Aye looking for one more runner in the Ragnar race in April. 

 

YHC took the morning yesterday to witness Belay’s naturalization ceremony.   We should be humbled by the commitment that immigrants intentionally take to make this country a better place.  YHC, a government major in college, was reminded in the ceremony that we live in a Constitutional Federal Republic.  Belay’s oath and our privilege is to serve the Constitution and not the President.  What an honor to serve a country where the founding ideas  and checks and balances in our Constitution reign. 

“I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty, of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.”