Author: Machismo

Warmerama:

Aptly 11 Pax including one long bearded FNG joined for a Machismo number 11 inspired bro fest. It went a little something like this; SSH of varying cadence, Abe Vigoda, Don Quixote, American Hammers, Imperials Walkers.

11s between toll gates Dips, Incline Merkins.

Eye of the the Hurricane (thanks Mister Rodgers) 5-burpee center on the pavilion with 50 SSH, 50 Air Presses, 50 2-Count revenge of the imperial walkers, 50 American Hammers.

11s again from midfield where some Lunging Lt. Dans made it back to the pavilion for Merkins (yes Ricky Tea Party those are push-ups).

A short bear crawl march ensued with a burpee cherry back towards the flag. Crab Walk, Walk Carb and we were out with a minute of Merkin Murder.

Announcements: Oysters buying lunch at Brick House this Thursday. Also Diamond Billiards on Friday Rosie leading the charge.

Welcome to the party gentlemen. YHC got a good roll of sweat going to wash away the lidocaine patch. It was all worth it to welcome a new Pax member with 4 girls, his own business, and long beard. Get those pinkies high and look out for Tea Party. The Pax also righted a porta-john this morning so feel free to call him by his initials TP. Just don’t think his name was inspired by some revolutionary northerners, it all starts with sponge cakes gentlemen. We are better together in cadence or not.

9 Gloom Jockey’s hopped on the horse for a reminder that we were and we still are the sh*t. YHC started with a little transition between the seasons as we Mosied to the tennis court for a pre COP cardio. 4 sides shuffle, high knees, shuffle, bernie. COP was 20 SSH, 10 Imperial Squat Walkers, 10 Wide Merk, Oblique LBC R, LBC, Left, 10 Diamond Merk, 12? Crab Cakes, 10 regular merk.

The search continues for a Jerkin bar at No Toll – Failed toll with bar gate.

Following was 4 corners prostitute 10 Merk, 20 Freddie Merc, 30 Crab Cake, 40 SSH.

11s at the shelter for dips and Lt. Dan’s. DD modified to lunge steps to shorten the trip back from midfield to dips.

Bataan Bear Crawl with a 2 Burpee cherry through the rotation one time towards the flag.

Ended with 5 merkin ring of fire and a 30 second 6″ plank eyes to you’re adjacent neighbor for a reminder that you are still the Sh*t.

Announcements: Frozen triangle start at dogpile at 6. ready for ~3hrs of fun.

YHC learned that Merkin count is a double count exercise. Down on 1; Up on 2; Down on 3; Up on PAX “1” that’s two for the price of one. YHC closed with a reminder that we were made in the image of our creator. As Last Call said “My body is a temple”

70s and sunny at No Toll as 12 Hims took on speed dating with Cindy. Starting at the twin tennis courts (a rare used attraction) Cindy got ditched at the door and did 20 or so SSH, ISW, LBCs, 10 or so Merkins, Diagonal Mountain Climbers, Os, Reverse Os.

Round 1 Carried Cindy to the first field and: Triple checked with: Timer across the field, Dips, Curls.

followed by 5 mins of partner one-up-manship: V-hold and WWIIs passing a plus one till the 5 min expired (I believe some were up to high teens).

Triple Round 2: Timer – murder bunny to midfield then bernie back, American Hammers, Imperial squat walkers.

5 mins of Standing up Cindy and burpees. (less were counted here).

YHC may be wrong but the succession ended with ditching Cindy in the woods near the parking lot protected by briars. Rosie said YHC was a little drunk at this point, (Bernied some S turns on the Triple check.)

With time on the clock for 2 min. Planked it up with some diagonal highs, and some lows. Wilson, Fudd. 3,2,1, Done.

This was the first time using a clock but even though Last Call said, “leave it at work.” It may be back.

Numbers, Names, Announcements minimal.

YHC Mentioned struggles with M and figuring out our rhythm. Don’t want to empty the nest and forget the one who filled it. Thankful for brotherhood and focusing outside for 9 – 5 min intervals.

(YHC hopes your backs were spared)

Fourteen willful recliners laid prostrate to dry the glistening dew-dropped fields of No Toll this morning. They started with something like, Ukranian Soldiers, Merkins, Parker Peters (Slow opposing mountain climbers), Imperial Squat Walkers, WWIIs, DQs, then moseyed to the aforementioned fields. The paper perfect absolution began from the pavilion then went 25 Alabama Prom Date (Modify as Neded) then back to the shelter for penance continuing on in the common fashion with, 25 APD, 50 opposing appendage superman’s, 75 American Hammers, 50+50 Obliques BCs right then left. The Supermen spent too much time in mumble chatter so YHC audibled for single count. Those small muscle exercises take a lot of concentration to do them right and like other things shouldn’t be rushed. Thoroughly exonerated Pax then bear crawled Indigenous People style part way back for a toll to ward of trolls and a little 45 seconds of timex with Merkins and Imperial Squat walkers. Just like indulgences this looked good on paper. We were all forgiven to not do such a prostrate prostitute again.

14 no 15 Sojourner’s made their misery complete and paid their penance without and then with a Toll at No Toll. 

Corks were popped on a few new tricks when Juanita’s VQ began with a mosey, then Warm-A-Rama:  DQ, Abe Vigoda, SSH, LBC, Rosalita’s, and Diamond Merkins were done with a without cadence as Juanita grasped the finer arts of a new PAX lingua.  Most exercises started without ready position move or the standard execute command proving once more that actions speak louder than words. 

Faith took center stage as the Pax Moseyed to the benches to begin to prostrate, pay, and pray for their penance.  “What for,” came the retort, as the Q regularly brought up the six, we’ll skip that and give you ‘How-so’.   Absolution began with (10) vexicon inspired plank to Groiner to Makhtar N’Diayes to plank jack Makhtar N’Diayes up and repeat. Lunge walk to the opposite side of the pristine lawn for (10) 4x4s (burpee to plank, 4 merkins, 4 mountain climbers and up) YHC’s lack of coordination would suggest that more explanation would be necessary to perform proper penance.  I find the below a helpful explanation of the Exicon:

Makhtar N’Diayes

From plank position, a 4-count exercise in which you put each elbow to the ground and then back into regular plank. Named for late ’90s Senegalese basketball player at UNC notorious for his elbows. Pronunciation: MAC-tar JIE – rhymes with “sky”.

  120 Merkins later the pax moseyed for a carpenter’s triple check with a midfield run plank Saws and American Hammers. 

When time ran thick marginally successful suicides were in order, that margin depended on uncalibrated power meters from 25% to 100%.  Tolls were paid with 15 dips and incline-merkins.  Then a final assembly on the tarmac for Danger Zone.

Penance was sought for an Audible on Jaunita’s namesake but there were clearly no takers even as cadence would suggest a less than sufficient proficiency in the Spanish language. Father forgive me for I have sinned.   

“Men cannot abandon their religious faith without a kind of aberration of intellect and a sort of violent distortion of their true natures. But they are invincibly brought back to more pious sentiments, for unbelief is an accident and faith is the only permanent state of mankind.”

Alexis De Tocqueville – Democracy in America.