Author: Mr Holland

  • A Year of Holland

    14 men braved the gloom and curiosity that comes with a Mr. Holland Q. Here’s the general idea:

    COP: SSH, DQ, LBC, merkins – mosey to field

    BEAST: merkins, WWIIs, squats, CA drydocks, V-ups, burpees

    Amphitheatre: bear crawl up, then back down (note: bear crawling down is precarious, but it works)
    box jumps: “two steps forward, one step back”

    lunge to flag, stopping along the way for merkins, American Hammers, more of these, and finally back to flag.

    Shout out to FNG Carjack (Steve Norris) – Big Data will be looking for you!

    MOLESKIN:
    A year ago yesterday, I’d never heard the phrase, “push yourself, don’t hurt yourself.” I was a sedentary Sad Clown, making excuses for my lack of physical, mental, and spiritual flaccidity. I came out more or less on a whim, mostly because it was free. I hadn’t done meaningful exercise in nearly five years: I tired easily, felt down on myself, and was isolated to boot.

    My first morning, I just tried not to throw up. I went back home, took a desperate shower, and went back to sleep. It was a full week before I felt able to make it back. I could just about struggle through one pull-up, but it wore me out.

    Since, I’ve completed an unofficial Corporate (no double-dip Saturday), can crank out 15 pull-ups, have lost my lower back pain, and made strong men sweat and swear. I’ve had ice in my beard. I fill out my clothing in good ways rather than bad ones. I go to work with my head held high, knowing I’ve already accomplished a ton before my day begins.

    None of this would work without the constant support and challenge of the PAX. Thanks, y’all.

    YNWA
    -Mr Holland

  • Sisyphus Strikes Again

    Two seasoned veterans did their best to defeat Twin Team Hill, with none but Persephone to witness this Sisyphean task.

    Sisyphus depicted on a black-figure amphora vase, with Persephone looking on

    Gumbo expected a leisurely solo run down by the river, until YHC rolled in at the stroke of 5:30 with the Q and a handful of cones & flower pots. We ran to the top of Twin Team, dropping markers along the way, and had a quick COP at the summit: SSH, DQ, Russian Soldiers, Freddie Mercury, hand-release merkins

    Then, the latest installment in hills & soul-crushing futility.

    Run to each cone/pot, perform the prescribed exercise, then return to the top of Twin Team. The five markers went something like this:

    • Bear Crawl back to summit
    • 25 derkins, run to top
    • 30 uphill WWIIs, run to top
    • 2 Man Triple Check: one man runs to previous cone & back, while the other performs an exercise (run to top @end)
      • mountain climbers
      • LBCs
      • alternate 10 merkins & hold plank for 10-count
    • 20 burpees, run to top

    Return to Bettie for numberama, name-o-rama, ‘nouce-a-rama.

    MOLESKIN: This is the third iteration of Sisyphus at Twin Team, and I think, the best one yet. The third time running on the triple check leg, knowing I was only coming down in order to go back up again, really drove home the mental element of this workout. Great to force yourself to dig a bit deeper when you think the well’s dry. Sisyphus will definitely make his return, and share with more of the PAX.

    YNWA

  • Sisyphus Takes on Twin Team

    Six of RVA’s finest defeated the sleep monster and posted for a trip into the unknown (as no one had signed up for the Q). After YHC’s customary on-the-dot arrival, YHC took the first Q. Brief COP on the spot to allow car exits for those not as well-versed in punctuality (it’s an art, fellas): SSH, IW, DQ.

    Mosey over to Twin Team Hill for a Sisyphus Run (TM):

    PAX ran uphill for 1 minute. Everyone goes back to wherever the 6 ended for a set of exercises, then another minute uphill. Repeat until summit. On the way up: 20 double count lunges (downhill of course), 20 WWIIs, 20 derkins, summit. On top, two sets of 10 burpees, then it’s back down.

    Faster downhills meant 30 second intervals: 1st, sprint back to the summit, then reverso of the exercises on the way up. Sprint the final leg at the end, where YHC passed the Q to Wedding Singer.

    Mosey back to Bettie Weaver for Triple Check: people’s chair, merkins, backwards run around dropoff loop. Singer passed the Q to Handshake.

    15 PLCs, followed by partner carry laps around the dropoff loop. 15 more PLCs, then one man lunges halfway around loop while partner waits with SSHs, switch at halfway point.

    Mosey back to the proverbial flag for a merkin ring of fire and WWII edition as well. Numbers, Names, ‘Nouncements.

     

    Not a ton in the moleskin today – glad as always to work hard alongside men of quality. Would love to see more of the PAX as a whole to post at Twin Team. This has become one of my favorite AOs, with plenty of variety in locations, elevations, and implements of destruction. You won’t be disappointed!

  • School’s Out

    Four dedicated scholars arrived at Twin Team to celebrate the end of the school year. YHC took the PAX through the academic journey of a K-12 education in just 45 minutes – here’s how it went:

    Mosey around the track to the playground. COP (SSH, DQ, helo, IW, hand-release merkins), then it’s time for class. One of the first lessons of elementary school is, “how to make new friends,” so today’s events were mostly partner exercises. First up: 5 pullups, followed by 15 derkins atop the back of your planking friend. Three rounds through, then mosey over to the parking lot at James River HS.

    PAX was disappointed that there was no middle school to visit, but YHC assured them they’d smell like a middle schooler by the end, and all was well.

    Parking lot: science class in high school was often about counting things, so we counted poles. Partner 1 does WWIIs while Partner 2 touches one pole (switch), followed by two, up to four poles – no repeating allowed, 10 poles in all. PAX had a fairly licentious idea of what constituted a “pole” at times, but we made it nonetheless.

    At times in high school, we all got to a point where we felt overwhelmed, and couldn’t make it alone. It was then that we needed a friend the most, one who could ‘carry us’ through…time to mosey over to the track for a lap of partner carry. Whenever a switch happened, partners did six booyah merkins.

    Mosey back towards Bettie Weaver, and time for a tribute to the junior class, who have done nearly as much schooling as the graduating class, but with nothing as yet to show for it. 11’s for the 11th graders: squats, bear crawl up the hill, merkins, crawl bear back down.

    As time was running short, PAX finished in true 11th grade style: cut corners in order to make that deadline! First the crawl bear turned into a run downhill, then Q removed the parking lot portion of the bear crawl, shortening to the hill alone. Finished just under the wire, in time for dogs & kids.

     

    MOLESKIN:
    It’s been a great school year for this teacher, but I’m glad to see the end of it. Thanks for being such an important part of keeping me fit, sane, and in community!

  • Hardywood’s Coffee Brings All The Boys To The Yard

    14 warriors emerged from the gloom: some, to defeat Twin Team Hill; others, following the olfactory siren song of coffee emanating from the back of Hardywood’s vehicle. One was drawn in all the way from NC.

    Either way, we got sweaty.

    Mosey across Robious to Twin Team, COP @ bottom. SSH, DQ, helo, something on the ground (YHC forgets).

    PAX ran to the top of Twin Team, marking five spots along the way. On the way down, perform 20x of prescribed exercise at each marked spot. From the top down: burpees, WWIIs, lunges, 2x flutterkicks, merkins. After PAX completed one set together, each man went at his own pace for round two, with a little extra credit thrown in at the end.

    Mosey back to Weaver for a little Man vs Bear. Groups of 3: wheelbarrow racing a bear crawler. In case you were wondering, the bear always wins. End with a quick round of Mary before moseying back to the flag.

    MOLESKIN

    YHC issued an apology to the PAX for his lack of a theme. The usual custom is, look for important events on that date and create exercises to commemorate. The perfect theme emerged: the 1977 release of Star Wars Episode IV. Unfortunately, the pressure proved too great, and YHC found himself paralyzed by his own expectations.

    I believe 14 is a Twin Team record! Huge props to Hardywood for not only bringing the boys with promise of coffee, but doing it in style. Dude pulled out a giant cooler full of piping hot water, and multiple French presses. Just because you’re in a parking lot, doesn’t mean you have to compromise on quality – let it be a lesson to us all.

  • STS-1 Orbits The Dogpile

    As the pilgrims traveled tirelessly through the night of CSAUP, nine brave men emerged onto the launchpad. As we all know, on this day in 1981 the shuttle Columbia returned to Earth in NASA’s first orbital space flight, STS-1. In tribute, here’s what went down this morning:

    First orbit: run the loop down to the pump house and back up. Circle up for COP (SSH, IW, DQ, Freddie Mercury, Merkins)

    Countdown & Liftoff: mosey to midway down amphitheatre for tricep dips as a 10-countdown, all the way to the bottom. Box jump back out for liftoff.

    Anti-Gravity: @valley beside amphitheatre: WWIIs on one crest, burpees in valley, jump squats on other crest. Start with 5, escalator up to 10 of each.

    Anti-Gravity Part II: mosey to Rusty Cage. 10 pull-ups, 8 jerkins. Repeat 3x.

    Second Orbit: Partner up by Carillon loop. One man bear crawl while partner runs backwards in opposite orbit around circle and median. Switch off each time you meet until duo has completed a bearimeter.

    After 22 years, Columbia met a tragic end as a leading edge of a wing lost heat protection, causing the shuttle to burn up in re-entry in 2003.

    Our own Self Destruction took the PAX back into the amphitheatre. On each step, escalating number of SSH, merkins, & V-ups, until time ran out.

    MOLESKIN
    Glad to see so many in the PAX this morning, despite many of the Dogpile faithful journeying through RVA overnight! Shout out to Spit, who only left early in order to also run the Monument 10K (you know, that other race that happened this weekend). And welcome to Philly’s finest FNG, Liam Smith, aka Allstate. He’s a college buddy of YHC, and happy to come into unfamiliar territory for a good ol’ beatdown.

  • “I Shall Return”

    Those iconic words of Douglas MacArthur as he famously left The Philippines were ringing heavily in the ears of seven brave men as they entered the gloom this morning. Of course, this day in 1942 marked one of the darkest points in the Pacific Theatre of WWII, culminating in the devastating retreat known as the Bataan Death March.

    After a brief COP (SSH, DQ, WWIIs, Dive Bombers), PAX did their own Bataan Death March around the HBR campus: Indian Run, with the 6 completing five burpees before coming up front. Multiple stops along the way included dips on the bleachers, balls to the wall, copperhead squats, and a sidebar into pole smokers along the bus loop.

    Upon completion, YHC felt that we hadn’t each done nearly enough burpees, and set out to right that wrong. Mosey over to Heartbreak Ridge proper. One partner runs backwards up HBR 2X while the other does burpees, switch until the pair reaches 100. With a trio we hit 150, and quickly called an audible to be able to choose the direction one faced as they ran the ridge.

    After PAX questioning whether it was leg day, we finished at the Rusty Cage. 11s with jerkins & WWIIs. So there.

     

    MOLESKIN:

    YHC hasn’t Q’d in a while, and in the midst of a really busy work season, has been happy to let others do his work for him. Upon realizing that the Q was unspoken for as of 10pm last night, the realization that this is important to many of us and the need to step up inspired this morning’s beatdown.

    Grateful for a PAX who gets me out of the fartsack day after day, and love how a good beatdown sets my day up for success. Onward and upward.

  • The Pax Hits the Little Piney

    Three veterans and one FNG decided that being two hours from Dogpile wasn’t a good enough reason to fartsack on a Saturday morning, and planted the proverbial flag at F3’s latest temporary AO: Crossroads Camp & Conference Center in lovely Lowesville, VA. So at 6am sharp, PAX headed to the hilly field for a beat down:

    THANG
    COP: SSH, DQ, IW, Freddie, flutterkicks, merkins

    It’s surely in the exicon somewhere, but YHC had no cell service to find the proper name, so “scatterbear” it was: 1 man does 5 burpees while PAX bear crawls away, man 1 chases and tags bears. Switch, repeat. The Hill made this rough.

    Partner Hill Runs: One man runs a hill that makes Heartbreak look like a speed bump, while partner exercises: 200 squats, 400 merkins.

    Half-Beast: merkins, lunges, burpees

    11’s: WWIIs & merkins, traveling halfway up The Hill again, of course

    MOLESKIN
    In the midst of the burdens and stresses of life & work, YHC was in dire need of time and quietude in the mountains. Surrounded by a beautiful landscape, excellent temperatures, and 40 or so good men from West End Presbyterian Church, a morning workout was just the thing to top the whole thing off. Glad to welcome in FNG Bill Philips, aka Nigel. Upon finding that Bill studied architecture and plays guitar, PAX was briefly excited to declare him Nigel, as a reference both to Spinal Tap  guitarist Nigel Tufnel and Frasier Crane’s architect brother, Nigel Crane. Seconds later, of course, we realized that “Nigel Crane, architect,” was actually “Niles Crane, psychiatrist.” But a name’s a name, man.

  • Jauchzet, frohlocket, auf preiset die Tage!

    Three brave souls overcame lack of sleep, holiday sluggishness, and a biting wind to get in the Christmas Spirit. What happened was as follows:

    Mosey through the neighborhood, to ensure that the children were, indeed, all nestled safe in their beds.

    COP: SSH, Don Q, arm circles, LBC, merkins.

    The Elves

    Elves spend their days toiling away in the workshop (American Hammers) until, exhausted, they lie down…only to rise back up again (WWIIs). After 3 rounds of increasing number (10, 15, 25), it was time to load the sleigh. One man planks beside a bench, another holds his feet while he lifts himself onto the bench. 10 Derkins, rotate, repeat x3.

    Santa

    Santa travels the Four Corners of the world – and back again – in a single night, and so did we. 20 in each location: merkins, squats, box cutters, burpies. repeat each corner on the way back to the start.

    Church

    Mosey to the church across the street for an 11 Service entitled “Go Tell It On The Mountain.” 10 mountain climbers/1 copperhead squat; karaoke across parking lot; 2/9, etc. At the “Amen,” mosey back to the school for a quick Rosie Ring of Fire. YHC’s gift to the others was one minute each of free time at the end.

    Moleskin

    Today already being pretty themed on its own, YHC found it tough to break the mold, but it got us into the Christmas Spirit nonetheless. This fall/winter season has been a huge lifestyle shift for me, coming out of several years of more or less abject sloth and inactivity, and I have you fine gentlemen to thank for that. As we gather with friends and family over the next few days, I’ll raise a glass and do a merkin for my community in the gloom. Cheers, all.

  • I Saw Three Ships

    December 5, 1492 was the day that Christopher Columbus first landed on the island of Hispaniola. In recognition of a man who didn’t know where he was, who he was talking to, or what he’d find upon arrival at his unknown destination, six intrepid explorers ventured into the gloom of the Ridge to pretend we’d found India.

    First, traced our route through the parking lot. Tracers included running, reverso, sideways, karaoke. COP: SSH, IW, arm circles, LBC, merkins. Mosey to track.

    Groups of 3 for Indian runs. One team clearly the Nina, Pinta, & Santa Maria. The other started as rival explorers Amerigo Vespucci & Co, but somehow morphed before the end into those Three Ships from the Christmas song (YHC has many questions for the moleskin on this). Ships hit stormy weather, and had to add 3 burpees for the 6 of each run line.

    Mosey to HBR. In honor of the captain of the Pinta, who must’ve asked at least 22 times, “Are we there yet?” PAX completed double 11’s: 20 merkins, 2 WWIIs; run to the top of the hill, 18 merkins, 4 WWIIs, etc (how did Columbus know about WWII??). SSH @ the top when complete, waving the rest of the ships safely to port.

    Mosey to back field, for our brave explorers to scout the terrain. Run 5 yards, plank. Next man jumps over, planks 5 yards out, continue across field. For the return trip, army crawl underneath, careful to avoid stalactites. Midway, switch to over/under alternating, continue to end of field.

    Mosey to parking lot for triple checks: copperhead squats, flutter kicks, run across lot. Theme ran out of juice by this point, but the clock hadn’t, so the beatdown continued.

    MOLESKIN: I love a good themed beatdown, even one somewhat improvised like this one. Mention of the Christmas Carol, “I Saw Three Ships,” however, has left me puzzled. I’ll leave it to you fine folks to help me make sense of this cryptic song:

    “And what was in those ships all three, on Christmas Day in the morning?/Our Savior Christ and His Lady…”

    1. Is the third ship just empty?
    2. Do Christ and His Lady travel with body doubles (maybe they were both in all three of the ships)?
    3. Is “His Lady” his mom, or his girlfriend/wife? I know that’s getting a little Da Vinci Code on us here, but seriously, who refers to your own mom as your Lady?

    “And wither sailed those ships all three?/And they sailed into Bethlehem…”

    Bethlehem is about 27 miles from the closest body of water, the Dead Sea. How did they sail there? Is this whole thing just a parade float after all?