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Hurricane Michael did a number on the Gulf Coast,  that’s for sure.  Remnants of the storm came to visit us late in the week but mercifully left quickly.  What looked to be a morning on the fire roads miraculously turned into a singletrack day, mostly dry but with a bunch of trees down.

At 0800,  it was shaping up to be a one man show.  Roper’s still broken.  Pullout was out:  he’s a tree pro, so he was probably doing tree pro things, what with a bunch of trees down, and Profit had to break in a new mower.  None of the other usual suspects replied to the group text, but BT made it for the first time in a long while.   Forty-six degrees at roll-out time… maybe that had something to do with it?

So good to see BT on a mountain bike.  Despite his limited saddle time so far, he’s got a lot of mountain biker in him and way base fitness than YHC, so the pace was conversational plus a little bit, despite there being a bunch of trees down.

The route:   ALL of Sunsetter (one big tree down**) to Bell Return to Gateway 1 (one big tree down) to Gateway 2 (one brushy tree down) to Freight Line, ’cause why not?  Then Blueberry down to Blueberry Return (three huge and some other smaller trees down) to Blue Jay to Corkscrew (one brushy tree down) to the gravel road out.   Thirteen miles and change, with plenty of photo ops.

Where we could,  we busted up the brushy stuff and peeled branches back ’til they snapped out of the way for the next guy.   No reason not to:  it’s not like we were in a hurry, and we were the first dudes on the trails, and you can never have enough trail karma.  Where we couldn’t fix things, we sent pics and locations to the trail bosses (@RVATrailReport), so someone with a chainsaw could get those cleaned up more quickly.

Today’s Tuesday, and they’ll be cutting ’til tonite at least.  Did I mention that there were a bunch of trees down?

** When I say “tree down”, I mean “tree down, across the trail, causing us to re-route into the woods”.   Tromp, tromp, tromp.

Yep.  They still ride bikes on Sunday at Dirt Church.  Unfortunately, they do a poor job of backblasting about it… let’s catch up, shall we?

Sunday before last, Pullout and I rode a gravel and road lap in a bit of rain at Gravel Church: Round Four.   No Profit — he was Climbing to Beat Cancer.  Dunno where Jenny Craig was with his badass bike.  It was just the two of us.   It was intimate… close… almost loving.   And we rode bikes, too.  Not going to say much more to say about that.

Last week, Pullout was late to the game (I got a “I forgot my damn shoes!” call at quarter ’til eight) and that wasn’t even the beginning of Dirt Church: the Sunday of Great Mishap Edition.   Our friend John with the Kona couldn’t make it… got a text at 7 saying he was sick.  Haven’t seen him in six weeks due to injury, and we were looking forward to seeing him again.  My Jeep started leaking coolant as I pulled into the parking lot.  My worn out chainwheel ate my brand new chain for most of the ride, so I bailed early, but not before I watched Profit eat it and take a brake lever to the naughty bits on the rock garden on ‘Setter.   An hour later, I got a call from Roper that he hit a tree and maybe he broke a rib?  Poor Roper.  He’s still basking in the afterglow of New Bike Day and now this happens.  Please wish him a speedy recovery.

This Sunday, though, was Old Dude Edition.   Two of Roper’s young (40ish) friends who are fast and fit and well-equipped (bike-wise, I mean) returned from last week to kick the asses of a 50-year-old (YHC), a 55-year-old, a 63-year-old (Profit) and a 65-year-old.   That’s right, readers:  Profit’s not the oldest MTBer we know.  His friend Fred is a hell of a guy and a talented rider. Anthony (a customer of Profit’s and our new friend) rode his new bike well, and he and I had a nice chat about bourbon, mostly.

The route:   Fendley Station to the Hub, Blueberry down, break in the middle for some old school Morgan Green Trail, and back.  Blueberry up, and take the old guys down the Freight Line so they can no longer say they ain’t never done it. (One mile an hour, so no bones were broken.)  Blue Jay Way to Moonshine Run, which was a VERY rad deviation for us, since we usually take BJW to the tail of Corksucker Corkscrew.   We like Moonshine Run.  A lot.  Next Sunday plan on seeing that one in the cue sheet.  It dropped us into the swoopiest part of Sunsetter, and we returned to the Hub via Bell Return and then punched out.

Seventeen miles of smiles, and even the young guys had fun.

Four knuckleheads were undeterred by the forecast, and despite knowing that bands of Florence’s winds and rain may still be part of the equation, sidled out to Pocohantas to ride the only thing available to them: gravel and sand.

Making a long-awaited return appearance, Lab Rat posted just in the knick of time to join the same dudes from last week, and immediately he and Profit started what would be a two-hour mind-meld on the topic of brewing beer.  Despite not being a brewer, YHC is pretty good at beer — mostly the drinking of it — but stuck to chatting with Jenny Craig about bikes, Church, staying out of trouble with the Missus, and general topics.

Same route as last, with a minor deflection for time’s sake:  we had to get Jenny to the Church on time this week. Fendley Station (counterclockwise) to Bright Hope (again, counterclockwise) and through a small stretch of Beach Road back to Fendly and then into the creek for a quick dip.  No harm done, as we were pretty wet by then anyway with the last few miles or so in a solid rain.

All said, the weather really wasn’t much of an issue.   Maybe YHC is a filthy liar, and the ride takes a little longer than advertised, but there was only a small batch of whining and a pretty good batch of peace and quiet through the prettiest parts of the woods, so… balance, mostly.

Still way better than watching the Today Show.

Dirt Church took an alternate form this week:  a lap of the Park’s fire road with the added bonus of the horse trails across Beach Road. This was actually planned last weekend to grant Profit’s b-day wish, since he’d never done a full lap of the gravel. Nope… none of that pesky singletrack to fly down this Sunday! Three of us brought exactly the right gear for the ride.

You don’t know this, but I am and have been for about five years, an avid fan of cyclocross.  I am not fit enough to race standard-format ‘cross (45 minutes on the rivet would kill my old ass), but I do love to watch people “riding ten speeds in the dirt”, so I do my own version when I can.   Fendley Station Trail and the Bright Hope Trail make up most of the Monstercross race track.  I used to ride these every week back before the Swift Creek trails came in 2015 and I’ve even ridden these before work, and in the dark.  Saturday was always for dirt, and Sunday was always for gravel.  But it’s been a while…

Profit’s yellow Kona Jake made a repeat appearance.  Jenny Craig showed up with one of the finest handmade Titanium wide-tired all-road bikes I’ve seen in real life, loaded for bear, and I brought my other bike.  We took the lap counter-clockwise, to postpone the inevitable seventy-foot creek crossing until we were only a mile from the car.

Gravel, dirt, sand, a little rain, peace and quiet, great company, all on nineteen pound drop-bar bikes made for an absolutely brilliant two-hour ride.   We saw cross country boys training, cross country girls training, a pretty horse in a pretty hat, and about four other people all morning.  Hard to beat.

Expect Hurricane Florence to do a number on us and shut down all the other trails, and that means next Sunday’s ride will be much like this one.  I hope.

While most of the congregation was away enjoying the fading last days of summer down at the Rivah, a couple regulars, a newbie, and a test driver started Sunday in the woods.

Profit** brought a couple different bikes and a guy who will end up buying one of ’em.  And even though we’ve seen him a bunch of times, neither Profit nor I recognized E.F. Hutton, who decided to have his first real mountain bike experience with us.    Maybe it was the beard that threw us… maybe the lack of glasses (he wears glasses, doesn’t he?)… either way, there he was, all primed and ready to go.

The day prior, three new trails were unveiled so we figured why not give some of ’em a whirl, and we planned to ride them until we read the sign that said “Most Difficult” with the black diamond and the skull & crossbones, and such, so we noped out of those, but instead decided Sunsetter’s brand new extension would be just fine for us.  And it was.  Sunsetter from the very top should be on everyone’s list.  They added not quite a mile to it, all as flowy as the rest, with just a few rock garden’ish things to contend with.  From there we did the usual route: Bell Return, Blueberry Hill, and just to leave with smiles on our faces, Blue Jay Way back out.

You couldn’t tell that Hutton had never ridden his bike in the woods.  No slouch at all.  Couple more Sundays and he’ll be killing it.

Eleven point seven miles, six hundred feet of climbing, in an hour and a half.

** Sunday was his sixty-friggin’-third birthday.  Even in the wrong shoes, he was pretty much killing it on the 29er.   HBD!

Five riders, from age eleven to sixty-two,  rocked out this morning’s singletrack-heavy Dirt Church ride.

Profit was running a little late but the rest took the gravel warm up to meet him at the top of the trailhead.  In just a few minutes, we figured out that Crikey wasn’t gonna get dropped despite the 140mm cranks, and with all five of us together, it was time to get rad.

Blue Jay Way is a downhill, super-jumpy, twisty trail second only to Corkscrew in technicality and sketchiness at speed, so naturally, we went that way.  Shakedown’s full-rigid Bianchi is about as old as Pullout, but he rocked it like a champ and his 2.0 definitely proved to “have a little rad in him” as advertised in the pre-ride group text.  BJW dumps into the head of Sunsetter and after casually clearing all of that flowy trail, we said our goodbyes to the time-constrained.

Pullout, Profit and YHC scampered up Bell Return at a good clip.  In fact, we rode the whole rest of the ride at a good clip.  My Strava feed says four new PR’s.  After Bell Return, we bombed Blueberry Hill with Pullout picking out the lines.  Blueberry is a flow trail down and up, and in perfect shape (like it was today} can be taken at Mach two without worry.  So we did that.

Once back to the top, Profit rolled to his convenient parking spot.  Pullout and YHC railed Blue Jay for a final quad workout and yep… another PR.  I was pretty much on the rivet for all of it, and this trail is straight up thrilling at speed.  Pretty sure the younger man had something left in the tank afterward, but I was toast.

Can’t wait to ride this again.

Six F3 brothers made the inaugural “Hey, it’s a thing” edition of Dirt Church, and three other fellers joined along.  It was kind of a sh*t show at first, and I’m blaming the Q.

Huh?  What?  We did an excellent job of being prepped and ready for the 0800 rollout.  Profit brought a spare bike to be demo’ed by Graham, who attends real Church with Profit, and is/was on the fence about buying a new MTB.  And three minutes into the ride, we picked up the Blackburns (Robert Senior and Robert Junior) whom YHC knows from his days as a rowdy BMXican.  Excellent dudes and excellent riders.  So nine began the proper ride together.  The plan was to start with gravel and then Sunsetter and do the regular DC route, but the Q committed a mortal sin and lost track of some of the PAX, and soon found some had fallen back before an important turn.  Two were dispatched to go looking and some calls were placed to find out that Profit was a Boy Scout and had a map that put his group where they shoulda been the whole time.  But the rest ended up bobbing when they should’ve been weaving and two groups were made of the one, at least at first.  We all did reassemble soon enough at the center of the Swift Creek Trails.

Eight** did all ride Blueberry Hill descent together and every one of us smiled.  I am certain of this, since I took a poll.

The terribly fit (Jenny Craig, Pullout, and younger Robert) were dismissed to climb Blueberry Return at their own pace (expected to be Mach two) while the older men ascended like mortals.  It was agreed that this may be the best trail in the Park, since the “Down” park kicks butt and the “Up” part doesn’t suck.  Somewhere up the hill, Robert’s massive power output proved to be too much for his chain, so we left him and his dad to affect repairs, and probably ride another twenty miles together.  The rest of us got up and out, since some had another Service to attend.  Couple guys left via Courthouse Road so as not to be sneaking in during the sermon, and the last four finished together,  taking the very rad BlueJay Way and Corkscrew to the bottom of the gravel hill… back to the car just under two hours since rolling.

We may need to tweak Dirt Church’s start time a bit.  Maybe 0730 to accommodate the riders who have time constraints?  Either way, next time the Q will know where his boys are the whole time.

**Clavin bailed after the Bell Lap climb, and we pray his wrists recovery quickly.

Four of the faithful slid into the last couple of pews for Dirt Church Sunday morning, riding a variety pack of bikes, and running their mouths pretty much the whole time.

The usual preamble of Fendley Station gravel loosened us up for Sunsetter’s flow.  We chugged up Bell Return to do some socializing at the top with some outa-towners on the world’s cleanest mountain bikes.  The requisite Blueberry Hill followed and we all made great time on that before we found a new way back on the long gravel descent on Loop B.  Just under thirteen miles and 650′ of climbing.

Profit, banking on a bunch of overnight rain and a strictly gravel ride, brought an excellent Kona cyclocross bike from his inventory.  It was the safe call, but the rain held off, and the rest of us brought MTB’s.  Even though the plan was to take it easy on him, he stepped up and took all the singletrack like a champion.   Mr. Roper kept him company most of the way on his old 26er, which may have taken it’s last lap, since a big new hotness will arrive on the brown truck sometime this week.  Roper will be unstoppable next Sunday for sure. Two singlespeeders set a pace for most of the ride, possibly setting a few PR’s (competitive, much?) on Blueberry uphill, but for sure talking through the whole ride.  John, who is Mr. Roper’s partner in crime, and YHC were at no loss for words, as is often the case.

Sunday services at Dirt Church kick off at 0800 from the road in front of Courthouse Church of Christ.  All are invited, regardless of skill level.

The Prodigal Son returneth, and a total of two were in the congregation Sunday morning.

The Sheik posted for the first time in recent memory, again for a two-wheeled activity, and joined YHC for thirteen point something miles of Pocahontas singletrack and gravel.  The later hour of this service agrees more with his constitution, the Sheik told me, as we rolled from Fendley Station to Sunsetter to Bell Return to Gateway One to Blueberry Hill.  That pre-dawn rollout from RAMM Gears is hard to make.  Recent surgery on his knee kept him from getting back out earlier, but thankfully he got back out.

Our pace was conversational and casual,  given the Sheik’s long absence from the flock.  One of the great things about mountain biking, though, is it’s just like… um… riding a bike… in that it comes back to you quickly after you’ve been away.  A few more Sundays, and he’ll be back in form.  By the way, his new bike kicks ass like a cross-eyed Rockette.

Trail conditions were about a seven out of ten: recent rains have left some low spots soft and muddy but nothing we wanted to ride was closed.   The Faithful at FofPSP and MORE (our local trail bosses) do a great job of keeping the trails in great shape.

Slide into the pews of Dirt Church on Sunday and it’ll do your soul some good.  If the trails are closed, it becomes Gravel Church and we stay on the fire roads. If you need your gear tuned before then, find me at @bvay on Twitter.