Author: Michael Hare

Four members of the F3RVA PAX met for a morning of muscle molding and merriment on a mild midsummer Wednesday at the Woodshed. College football is only two weeks away, and NFL training camps are in full swing, and as a long-time member of multiple (dynasty, snake, auction, you name it) fantasy football leagues, Snooki has been consuming data and thinking fantasy lately. My noodling led me to a workout idea I am happy to share, and which we executed this fine morning. We only made it through two rounds of drafting, but here are the “teams” we each ended up with:

Globetrotter: Trey McBride, Bryce Young

Hermey: TJ Hockensen, Terry McLaurin

Futon: Drake Maye, Courtland Sutton

Snooki: Jalen Hurts, Saquon Barkley

We started with a mosey around the parking lot and a standard Woodshed warm-up before grabbing some coupons and heading down to the intersection at the base of the Shed Slope, which is where the draft was held. To draft: each PAX was told to pick an NFL team and a number between 1-4. Team mascots dictated the exercise: an animal meant arms and a person (or the Jets, which are the only non-living thing mascot) meant legs. Numbers correlated to positions as thus: 1=QB, 2=RB, 3=WR, 4=TE. And lastly, the projected points for the chosen player’s next game dictated the number of reps. As an example, Snooki’s pick of “Eagles, 1” translated to Jalen Hurts, whose 24 projected points meant 24 reps of bicep curls. After each pick and exercise, we ran up and down the Shed Slope, and after each round, an ab exercise with the same number of reps was added.

All in all, the PAX ended up doing chest presses, overhead presses, bicep curls, skull crushers, blockees, block-assisted Mike Tyson pushups, lunges, goblet squats, box cutters, and LBCs combined with 6 laps up and down the hill and 2 down to the cul-de-sac and back. With only limited time remaining after two rounds of drafting, we closed with a bunch of Murkins and some extra ab activity in a ring of fire.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Crabgrass is sponsoring a Hot Wings challenge at the clubhouse at Satan’s Hill on Friday, 8/21 from 5-8 pm. There is an upcoming Convergence for Labor Day which might be at Timberwolf; stay tuned. A commemorative ruck is scheduled for Friday, 9/11. Summer tour continues; check Slack for locations.

PRAYERS: To the nurse, Jo Shelton, who lost her unborn baby boy in a car accident and recently woke up from a coma. She has been transferred to nuero trauma rehab in GA; please consider contributing to the GoFundMe to support their family: https://gofund.me/8c39e0c7e. Additional prayers to all the parents and kids preparing to go back to school.

The temperature wasn’t too bad (the humidity was another story), but FIFA fever was abound at the Woodshed on this Wednesday morning in June. As such, Snooki saw fit to utilize the soccer pitch to celebrate the U.S. team’s forthcoming game against Bosnia-Herzegovina with five members of F3 Nation. A standard Woodshed mosey (down to the end of the new neighborhood extension cul-de-sac and back to the clubhouse) and a standard Woodshed warm-up started us off before sauntering over to the soccer field.

Line drills on the soccer field saw the PAX do lunges to quarter field, bear crawl to midfield, high knees to three-quarter field, and sprint to end line, with increasing burpees at each line marker (2, 4, 6, 8) and jogging back to the starting line. A second round of line drills repeated the procedures with Murkins and firecrackers at each line marker (1, 2, 3, 4 of each) at each line marker. Before leaving the pitch, the PAX did a quick four corners around it, with LBCs, American hammers, Freddie Mercuries, and box cutters at the corners (20/each).

Closing the workout was a modified triple check, with groups rotating between A) a run to the playground’s picnic tables with 10 dips mixed in, B) cycles of bicep curls, overhead presses, and bent-over rows, and C) oblique dips (each side) and chest presses.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: There is an upcoming Convergence at Gridiron (Pouncey Tract Park) on Saturday, July 4th at 7 am. A breakfast cookout will follow the workout. Summer tour continues; check Slack for locations.

PRAYERS: To Globetrotter for his continued recovery and to all other members of F3 Nation dealing with cancer in some way, shape, or form. To all of our kids and families, especially in this drought and heat wave and with the holiday weekend (fireworks, etc.) forthcoming.

Snooki doesn’t drink but still knows good shit and procured some fine bourbon for a friend made available by another PAX, with the retrieval fee being a last minute Q commitment! Nobody was on the Q at the Woodshed, and I’m both a team player and willing leader, so it was a pleasure to lead five members of F3 Nation in a workout on May 20th. However, if I had to work for the bourbon, the PAX were going to have to do some work for as well!

A standard mosey and warm-up gave way to a longer mosey over to nearby Winterpock Elementary, where Snooki embraced the concepts of consistency and recycling (meaning repeating old workout concepts and routines, but hey, a last minute Q can forego some originality). Just like my first Q, we did some four corners action, LOTN style (since the original Snooki was a bit of a trollop), and the magic number for the day was 20 (for the 20th). At the corners: LBCs, Murkins, squats, and burpees.

After that fun, an indigenous persons run returned us to the Woodshed, where we did what Snooki called 4-3-2-1. We picked up some nearby coupons and did 4 exercises, then 3, then 2, then 1, all interspersed with laps down the parking lot and back with 20 side straddle hops (inspired by a recent Crabby workout with too. Many. Side straddle hops.) The exercises (20 of each) included bicep and tricep curls, military presses, bent over rows, flutter kicks, hammer twists, oblique dips, lunges, and goblet squats. Blockees were intended for the “1”, but instead, we did 1 lap carrying the coupons (you know, for time constraints), which brought us to our closure.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Boys of Summer continues over the next few months with Thursday morning workouts at Timberwolf (I hear Patriot Games has the goods on the Yips so far), and there is an upcoming Convergence at Dog Pile on Memorial Day Monday at 7 am.

PRAYERS: To Wildcat and his wife for their ongoing and new health struggles. To people everywhere with the upcoming summer vacation season and its unfortunate dangers. To people in RVA who enjoy Belle Isle (as inspired by last weekend’s RiverRock), where a recent kayaking death occurred.

The night before was St. Patty’s, but the fellas understood that if they were drinking then, the only “hair of the dog” they’d receive the morning after would be their Q. An easy mosey into the new neighborhood section and subsequent warm-up gave way to a cinder block workout on the Woodshed’s own version of Satan’s Hill (yet to be named). Trips up and down the hill included a handful of burpees on the descent and rounds of various coupon lifts at the bottom (bicep and tricep curls, bent over rows, and military presses).

Following the hill workout, the PAX did a Triple Check with a shorter run into a cul-de-sac interspersed with goblet squats and flutter kicks. After toting the coupons back to the clubhouse, we finished up with a Circle of Fire.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Nancy Lopez is sponsoring a 5K, the GLOW for Galactosemia, on 4/11 at Robius Landing. Rudy is also raising money for Family Lighthouse (and folks could have signed up for his bracket challenge).

PRAYERS: to everyone in general.

Mother nature gave us a break from the winter ice on a balmy Wednesday morning in February, so six PAX gathered at the Woodshed for Snooki’s second Q. A doubling over last week’s turnout (from 3 to 6!) saw the gang start with a mosey around the clubhouse parking lots before warm-ups with plenty of acknowledgment of our middle-aged nature and accompanying need for hip stretches and such.

Following a solid warm-up and relocation to the new neighborhood section south of the clubhouse, the PAX decided to explora with a DORA of 100 Merkins, 200 LBCs, and 300 squats that also included runs to stations 2 and 3 where firecracker burpees and mule kicks found their way into the rotation.

After exploring with DORA , the gang relocated to the Woodshed playground, whereby Triple Checks became the name of the game. (Shout out to Hermey for naming the routines for me!) First round had runs, dips, and step-ups with the second round rocking runs, calf raises, and hammer twists. Snooki blessed the festivities with a final round of side straddle hops before calling it a morning and moving on to numbers, name-o-rama, COT, and imbibing some Futon coffee.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Frozen Triangle was moved from last 2/7 to Sat, 2/21 on account of a little TOO much “frozen” (my native NJ might’ve managed, but in RVA we say nay when things get a bit too frostay).

PRAYERS: to Heist’s son, dealing with a knee injury in a family that has a history of orthopedic issues in that particular region; to Wildcat for his ongoing illness and treatments (homeboy is still rocking Q’s – come on out to Satan’s Hill on Fri for a beating); and to F3 Nation in general.