Author: Splinter

  • Irregular Shaped Lollipops

    Happy Birthday Wedding Singer??? Wedding Singer + 21 of his 0530 friends met in the sunken parking lot that we call Spider Run launch. We ran the following, then heard Singer subtly say his name + age. No one called him out on it, until now.

    The Routes

    4s:  https://onthegomap.com/s/r5ad1ckj
    5s:  https://onthegomap.com/s/vf9gb3md
    6s:  https://onthegomap.com/s/pk2unnhj

    Numbers, names, announcements, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    The PAX hit some different roads today, or at least made different turns to get to similar roads. Due to the need to test one’s will by running past a scary house, these extreme reaches of the AO are lightly traveled. That resulted in all the 5s screwing up. Well done. Hutton said he had it, clearly he didn’t. Apparently, Fudd tried to tell everyone but no one listened.

    Great group of 22 today. The 6s saw Saab traveling away from the prescribed route as we were finishing our lollipop. He must have needed a direct route home.

    Keep planting flags Flatline!

    Happy Birthday Wedding Singer

    Splinter

  • Buttheads

    Buttheads

    Four nincompoop runners accompanied three nincompoop ruckers for today’s RAMM. Yesterday’s slack teaser only resulted in a few takers; perhaps without the teaser no one would have shown. These are today’s questions that will never be answered.

    The Route

    Inspired by last week’s personal diversion coming back from Monument, this week’s route promised to be the simplest complex route ever.

    Course boundaries were Hamilton to the east, Broad to the north, and Chantilly to the west. Start by turning right on Grove. Take first left. Then first right, left, right, left, etc. until you reach a boundary. Once a boundary is reached, turn around 180 and head the other direction, following a similar pattern.

    6s doubled back once they hit a boundary mother goose style to add mileage before continuing on.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out after coercion from Wedding Singer to move along.

    Moleskin

    YHC enjoyed this route. After mapping it out yesterday, the route reminded me of the old 80s video game Q*bert. No box jumps today, simply a lot of left and right turns. Could have been an advanced level of Q*bert back in the day.

    Upon arrival at home, YHC was greeted with strange looks from my 9YO. His comment was, “you ran in this?” YHC replied, “Absolutely! We are a bunch of nincompoops.” After inquiring what a nincompoop is because he had never heard that term he replied with, “We call them buttheads these days.” Buttheads indeed.

    Thanks to the 4 runners who endured my creativity. YHC will lobby Lockjaw to name this route the Q*bert route.

    Enjoy the day fellas. We bring the weather to everything we do! Bring sunshine today!

  • March Madness, Reprise

    Legend has it, here is how the story goes:

    Johnny: “Timmy, did you hear what happened at recess today?”

    Timmy: “No, did Handshake get caught looking up girls skirts again?”

    Johnny: “Not that I know of… You know that older kid that complains a lot but tells those jokes he gets from GQ magazine?”

    Timmy: “TYA?”

    Johnny: “No, the other one he hangs out with…”

    Timmy: “You must be talking about that Saab kid. I heard he wants to buy a british car when he turns 16. My dad says there may be something wrong with that kid.”

    Johnny: “Yeah, my mom said he tried to take a girl on a date to see Stripes.”

    Timmy: “Man, that’s a $100 shine on a $3 pair of shoes.”

    Johnny: “Anyway, there was a pickup basketball game during recess today and that giant 3rd grader who looks like he’s 14 told Saab he had to play.”

    Timmy: “Oh man, I wish I could have seen that…”

    Johnny: “It was hilarious. Saab’s team started chucking balls from all over the place. I overheard him say he was only good for two things, catching and passing.”

    Timmy: “I’d be surprised if that one-legged cheetah could even catch.”

    Johnny: “Turns out you are right, kid couldn’t catch a turtle if it was walking right in front of him. Anyway, the teachers had blown their whistle to indicate recess was almost over. All I heard while they were playing was, ‘This game is stupid’, and ‘I was never good at this game’.

    Timmy: “He will probably work in IT when he gets older.”

    Johnny laughs uncontrollably

    Johnny: “So true. Well… the clock was ticking and somehow Saab ended up with the ball. He took one dribble to about 10 feet and chucked it up.”

    Timmy: “Let me guess, airball.”

    Johnny: “That’s what I would have guessed if I hadn’t seen it with my own two eyes. The Dude made it!”

    Timmy: “No way. You must have been talking about another kid. No way that kid made a basket.”

    Johnny: “Swear on my Pokemon collection. He stepped back and drained it. Funny thing is, people didn’t even get excited. He just walked away.”

    Timmy: “Legendary.”

    Johnny: “Cool as a cucumber.”

    Timmy: “I hope Sally got a picture of him to put in the yearbook. That’ll be a great story to tell when we make it to the big school, you know, middle school.”

    Johnny: “Best recess ever.”

    Timmy: “I have to go. Gotta get back to class. Have you seen my substitute?”

    Johnny: “No, new?”

    Timmy: “Oh yeah. I’ll fill you in on the bus.”

    COP

    • Single file run over to the basketball courts, where we stayed until the bell rang.
    • 4 left hand, 4 right hand layups
    • Line up in two horizontal lines facing the Q
    • 20x Invisible Jumpropes
    • 10x Don Quixotes
    • 15x High Knees
    • 10x Copperhead Squats
    • 15x Buttkickers
    • 10x Defensive slides
    • 10x Bobby Hurleys

    The Thang

    As a tribute to the introduction of the shot clock, we did 4 corners. 30 exercises at each corner of the basketball court. Merkins, LBCs, CDDs, Squats.

    Huddle up around the goal for Halftime Entertainment. Everyone shoots a layup, free throw, and 3 pointer. Miss the layup and the group does 10 burpees, free throw 10 merkins, 3 pointer 10 squats. The group was 6/9 on layups, 2/9 on free throws, and 0/9 on 3 pointers. Lots of blame on the darkness and the light.

    Senior superlatives were mixed in as well. Two seniors were highlighted. First was Antoine Davis. Antoine came up 3 points short of Pete Maravich’s all time collegiate scoring record of 3667 points. Antoine ended up with 3664. Close, but no cigar. Additional context, Antoine achieved his number in 5 years (including his additional COVID year). Pistol Pete did it in 3 as freshmen couldn’t play back then. 3 years, 40+ points a game, no 3 pointers. Let that sink in. 36 merkins, 67 SSHs as a tribute.

    Second superlative was offered to Kihei Clark. Kihei broke the ACC record for most minutes played in his career (again, thanks to the additional COVID year). He played 5339 minutes, which by TYAs quick math is almost 90 hours. Crazy, over 5 years, 30 games a year, that only adds up to 90 hours of basketball. Anyway, apparently people keep track of that stat so we did 53 LBCs and 39 Jump Squats as a tribute.

    This is where we broke up into teams of 3 and the above storyline played out.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    YHC appreciates those that posted but did not know what was in store for the day. It’s been 4 years since my last official March Madness Q at Mary. Stories were strong of years past. Great work everyone.

    Welcome to the newcomers who hadn’t experienced a Q like this before. You are only limited by your own creativity!

    Splinter out.

  • 36.5 Minutes of 90s Hip Hop

    Ten fine gentlemen, including two from downrange, convened in the well lit parking lot of the former darkest AO in RVA. After exchanging comments about personal clothing choices and waiting for Fudd to arrive (on time no less), away we went. It was exactly as described below.

    Short mosey around the drop off loop, back up to the blacktop sea, almost all the way to the gaga pit. Circle up for disclaimer and COP:

    • 20x SSH
    • 10x Helicopters
    • 10x Don Quixotes
    • 7ishx reverse hip walk extensions
    • 20x Mountain Climbers
    • 10x Merkins
    • 10x Scorpion Kicks
    • 10x Freddie Mercuries

    The Thang

    Stay exactly where we were and pop open the trusty interval timer, setup exactly for what was planned today. Tabatas, 30 seconds on, 15 seconds recovery. 3 sets of each of the following with 30 second rest when changing exercises.

    Merkins / Squats / WWIIs / Dips / Lunges / Flutter Kicks / Diamond Merkins / High Knees / Heels to Heaven / Carolina Dry Docks / Jump Squats / LBCs / Burpees

    BTTVSF.

    Moleskin

    YHC often gets grief about volume of running during my Qs. Today was a different attempt at diverse workout while still having moments of elevated cardio. Success or failure? Only a thumbs up or thumbs down in Slack will tell.

    It only took one set of one exercise before one of the (unnamed) PAX members disclaimed, “Boring”. YHC quickly audibled during the change in exercises to add music, starting with “Platinum Pop Hits” for about 30 seconds before quickly changing to 90s Hip Hop, the latter offering the PAX the opportunity to practice rhythm cadence. Most songs were crowd pleasers.

    The final set, after the last of the normal sets, resulted in many questions from an expected PAX member. YHC didn’t even have to jump in to explain as his peer to his left quickly retorted, “He’s the Q, he can do whatever he wants”. Thank you Bodos!

    Welcome to our PAX from out of town, plenty of good options around town to check out while you are here.

    ¡Adios muchachos!

    – Splinter

  • Widely Divergent

    Widely Divergent

    Eighteen Atlantic Puffins returned to their imprinted nesting place promptly at 6:15. When they started, who they traveled with, and what route they took varied. What is known is that no one was alone… well except maybe Bodos. Regardless, we huddled up for a well said prayer from our friend Oyster. Very well said brother.

    RAMM may now have a reputation as being disorganized. People start at different times, some people ride, some people walk, some people ruck, some people run. You know what? Who cares! Without fail, we all come back to our nesting spot when it’s time. Just like the Atlantic Puffin.

    You can thank my 2.0 Tidwell’s digital report on the Atlantic Puffin for the backblast inspiration.

    Enjoy the day fellas. It’s always a blessing.

    Announcements

    • Amateur RAMM Gears on 3/31. Best costume gets their photo posted on Slack.
  • All Lions, no Lambs

    Twelve spring seekers convened under the lamp light eagerly awaiting today’s First Watch Q. Would headlamps be necessary? Only if desired. Welcome the 8 year Kotter and the first time FW-er then off we went. Longer mosey around the triangle then west on River to the typical convening spot in front of the church for:

    COP

    • 20x SSH
    • 10x Helicopters (with an audible suggested for Upchuck)
    • 10x DQs
    • 15x Arm Circles both directions for our first time watcher
    • 20x Hillbillies (slow to fast)
    • 10x Mountain Climbers
    • 10x Freddie Mercuries
    • Probably something else in there too

    Short mosey to the back parking lot via the carpool road, stopping at each speed bump for a courtesy burpee.

    The Thang

    Partner up for touch a tree. Partner exercises while other partner touches 3 trees. 4 rounds. Merkins / bear crawl, skip / jump squat, run / WWIIs, run / burpees.

    Skeedaddle south on Ridge, stopping for 2 more burpees, then heading east on River to Country Squire for a game of 2 forward, 1 back. Two mailboxes forward running, 10 merkins, 1 mailbox back backward running, 20 LBCs. LBCs for the six. Continue 5 times until we meet at S Ridge.

    Native people run back to the parking lot.

    Triple check. APDs, plank, 10x burpees as the pace car. BTTVSF.

    Numbers, names, difficulty renaming an 8 year Kotter, then YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    Lively bunch this AM as is usual for First Watch. Great to have Machismo out for his 1 year anniversary and Jelly (temporarily renamed to Billy Ray) after an 8 year hiatus.

    Sorry (not sorry) for all the running. You all know YHC enjoys cardio.

    Splinter out.

  • Back up the Mountain

    Fourteen trekkers who didn’t get their fill from 2 weeks ago, returned to base camp for another summit attempt. The Q left early but passed along ample instructions. Mt Henrico it is again.

    The Route

    • Mount Henrico

    Numbers, names, the Q took us out.

    Moleskin

    This route does two things. 1. It never gets old. 2. It never gets easier.

    Almost everyone made it to the top. There was still 1 that got lost but made it back to base camp successfully.

  • Running for a Friend

    Running for a Friend

    Fourteen of the best gentlemen you could find, gathered to listen to today’s instructions. Two started early but were instructed to come back for further instructions. Routes were:

    The Route

    • 4s – Right out of the parking lot, left up Gateway, left on Campus
    • 5s – Left out of parking lot, slight right up Richmond Way, left on Gateway, left on Campus
    • 6s – Left out of parking lot, slight left along the lake, up by the baseball field and weinstein center, continue up Richmond Way, left on Gateway, left on Campus
    • Everyone cross Boatwright through the path then left on Wheeler
    • Convene at the bottom of Gardiner
    • 3x intervals up Gardiner, recovering over the hill and down Chandler
    • 3x intervals up Chandler, recovering south on Ridge Top, right on Shrewsbury, left on Horsepen, gather at Waveny
    • 1x interval up Dartmoor (audible)
    • 2x interval up Waveny
    • BTTVSF via fraternity row

    Numbers, names, announcements, YHC took us out.

    Announcements

    • The bridge this weekend. See TYA.
    • Ash Wednesday service available at Regency, see Bodos for details

    Moleskin

    Much to everyone’s likely disbelief, YHC hadn’t planned on intervals today until yesterday. Sometimes you need to push yourself harder than you normally would in order to clear your mind and soul of life’s complications. Today was one of those days for YHC.

    Thank you all for enduring the repeats up those hills with me. Every step of mine was in memory of Bella.

  • Intestinal Fortitude

    Four, then 5, then a very late 6, literally fought off the fartsack to gather at the ‘Hoe for today’s post super bowl hangover workout. Short mosey over to the church parking lot for:

    COP

    • SSH x21
    • Helicopters x10
    • DQ x10
    • Arm Circles x10 x5 (x2)
    • Copperhead Squats x15
    • LBCs x20

    The Thang

    Quick mosey backwards to pickup the LIFO then medium mosey over to the other church parking lot for the start of Super 21s. 1x merkin / 1x reverse crunch. Run to opposite corner for 2/2. Back to start for 3/3. Continue to 5/5. 21x jump squats.

    The smallest of moseys over to the other church administrative office parking lot for 6-10, running halfway around the building between sets. 21x lunges.

    Slightly longer mosey over to the Walgreen’s parking lot for 11-15, running to the end of the parking lot between sets and bernie’ing back. 21x side lunges.

    Back to the church administrative building for 16-20, running halfway around between sets. Slow walk if you are a leader. 21x squats.

    Back to the 2nd church parking lot for set 21. IG run back to the bus loop.

    Triple check: BTTW, pickle pounders, 21x american hammers

    WWIIs until time expired.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    ‘Twas a great morning to be alive. Cool air, light breeze, fresh (a’hem) air. Today we were reminded of the 8 lbs of chicken wings Handshake made and who knows what Fudd made.

    Flo showed his bashfulness during triple check while also learning about the intestinal habits of a few middle-aged men.

    Apologies of the day goes to Pigskin for not keeping the distance down. Way to push it!

    Thank you to all who showed.

    Splinter out.

  • Conversationally Meditating?

    More people didn’t return for COP than departed this morning but nonetheless we still had fun staring at each other. Route was posted late(ish) yesterday afternoon. Some (one) saw it in advance and the other(s) still needed instruction. Off we went on a quest for doughnut smells and scratch & sniff peaches.

    The Route

    https://onthegomap.com/s/m1gmjafa

    • 6s: Do as planned
    • 5s: Turn left on Lafayette to Fitzhugh
    • 4s: Straight up Commonwealth to Fitzhugh

    Numbers, names, silence, YHC took us out.

    Announcements

    • Chirp Chirp

    RAMM proper has had lower numbers for a few weeks. Ask a friend or FNG to come out to join us. If you need directions to the AO, don’t ask TYA.

    Splinter out