Author: Splinter

  • Drafters Beware

    Drafters Beware

    Fifteen spiderlings gathered in the mist to wait for instructions on today’s route. Much to the pleasure of a few of our PAX, instructions indeed came. The original Devil’s Pitchfork was called. We waiting until PRECISELY 5:30 before departing for:

    The Route

    • Head through the Eco Corridor and head west on Westham Station
    • Right on Panorama and return at River
    • Right on Westham Station and right on Old Bridge
    • Head right at the fork up Highland and follow up to River
    • 4s return and head home
    • 5s take a right at the bottom of the hill and take Old Bridge to the end
    • 5s return back, doubling up on Panorama on the way back
    • 6s take a right on Westham Station and follow South Ridge to the light at River
    • 6s return via Westam Station taking no diversions

    Numbers, names, very few announcements and YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    Great morning for a run. Personally, YHC finally felt halfway descent about a run. Thanks to Saab for not turning on the afterburners and keeping YHC company for most of the route.

    Faceplant’s drafting strategy almost backfired at the start of the eco corridor. When you draft behind YHC and YHC suddenly steps right to avoid a 6×6 post, you may catch an obstruction directly in the jewels. Drafters Beware!

    Some of the PAX were a little testy this AM. Some expected intervals and were disappointed, some didn’t participate in the circle of instructions and then complained about not being greeted this morning, and some griped about YHCs call of Devil’s Pitchfork not being creative enough.

    Guess what!? There is a Q signup sheet where anyone can sign up to lead. YHC signed up yesterday as it was still open. Well good news! Someone already signed up for next week so you will have to wait another week to express your creativity on Spider Run.

    SYITG – Splinter

  • Mary Found the Glory

    American Flag

    Nine of greater RVAs finest gathered at Mary today, including one who seemed to be lost and arrived very early. After strategically locating a hole for the flag, we gathered to chat and then off we went, picking up said flag for a quick mosey down Commonwealth to Cary.

    The Thang
    Old Glory. One mile route was west on Cary, north on Westmoreland, east on Hanover, south on Woodlawn, back to Cary.

    Use the entire field area up to the school for 20 minutes of 4 corners. 20 merkins, 20 jump squats, 10 burpees, 20 WWIIs.

    After completing between 3 and 4 loops for those with varying abilities, gather up and reverse course for the final mile.

    Back to the parking lot for COT where announcements were made and YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    It’s been a long time since YHC has completed an Old Glory and this may be the first appearance at Mary. The soup was thick and the breeze didn’t help much until we stopped.

    Fellowship was grand this AM as we all battled the elements. No hiding from the pain this morning and it was everywhere.

    SJ – hope that ankle isn’t too bad and your ice maker starts making ice soon.

    Announcements
    Prayers out to Profit and Doublemint as they recover from their respective accidents.

    See everyone soon.

    Splinter

  • Schwetting

    Amazon.com: That's Not Sweat That's My Fat Melting 15 oz Coffee ...

    Six early birds gathered in the random parking lot on River for today’s iteration of First Watch. Pleasantries were exchanged then off we went to begin the melting process. Quick mosey to the triangle for COP that included:

    COP
    20x SSH
    10x Don Quixote’s (complete with spine adjustments on #1)
    20x LBCs
    10x Merkins
    15x Imperial Walkers

    The Thang
    Mosey to Cameron Road for mailbox bingo. Run down Cameron and do 3 burpees for every mailbox we pass on the left and 5 jump squats for those we pass on the right. Stop at the bottom of the hill.

    Triple up for triple check. Shoulder tap merkins (audibled to just shoulder taps after round 1), freddie mercuries, third person runs up the hill to the 4th driveway.

    Continue up Cameron until the end repeating the burpee/jump squat combo from earlier.

    Turn down Ross and do 10 flutter kicks for mailboxes on the left and 5 merkins for mailboxes on the right. Audible to alternating mailboxes half way down.

    Work our way back up Ross by partnering up. Partner 1 does lunges while partner two runs partway up the hill and back. Switch and repeat.

    Second round with bear crawls and running. Joyous.

    Mosey back to the flag where we complete a round of ring of fire.

    Numbers, names, lots of fellowship then YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    YHC won’t lie. There were times today where that sucked. Humidity and heat was kind of brutal. Sometimes YHC thought that running was better and other times exercises. In the end, they both sucked. Plenty of sweat prints left on the road this morning.

    Conversation revolved around events of last evening and the comical rules of local pools opening.

    Nice day for a cotton shirt Handshake. Enjoy the day gentlemen.

    Splinter

  • Early Morning Lollipops

    Twelve Spider Run regulars + 1 Q visitor gathered early around the commons for today’s rendition. Bleeder arrived after just missing an albino deer on Cary, then perfectly clear instructions were disclosed.

    The Route
    Head west young men!!! Everyone head west, across the bridge and through the woods. 4s & 5s head up University, 6s head up Lakewood to Westham to University. Continue on University until you reach Ziontown. Don’t take Ziontown, take the driveway straight ahead. Admire the perfectly clean cars in the driveway and continue through the park. Right out of the park and up Roslyn Hills. Left on September.

    4s take a left on Melwood then left on Roslyn Hills and back through the park and home.

    5s & 6s continue on September which turns to Countryside. 6s take a right on Higginbotham then left on Running Cedar then left on Ruggles. 5s continue on Countryside then take a left on Ruggles. Left on Roslyn Hills and back through the park the way you came.

    Digits and salutations and YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    What a beautiful morning to be alive. Running at dawn always brings me peace. It’s no secret that Marv and YHC have been meeting up the past few weeks to try to get some fellowship while running. Solo runs are fine for a while but individual motivation quickly dissipates. YHC is thankful for the opportunity to lead and to be a part of this ever-entertaining group of gentlemen.

    Announcements
    Prayers for Profit and his recovery down at Duke. He’ll be back at RAMMGears before you know it.

    ¡Hasta mañana mi amigos!

  • My Daughter Made Me Do It

    Eleven eponymous eggheads circled up on the warm pavement for this week’s iteration of Hoedown. Greetings and salutations were exchanged for YHCs first F3 Q since the March Madness that never happened. Scuttle around the drop-off loop up to the blacktop ocean for COP that went something like this:

    COP
    10x Helicopters
    15x Smurf Jacks
    10x Don Quixotes
    20x Imperial Walkers
    15x Arm Circles
    10x Merkins

    The Thang
    Short mosey over to the end line closest to the school for the first of many iterations of 3 sets of 3 exercises of 12 reps.

    Batch 1
    12 squats
    12 WWIIs
    12 merkins
    Run to the end of the blacktop and back
    Repeato for a total of 3 sets

    Batch 2 – Mosey to the bottom of Lindsay
    12 lunges (each leg)
    12 4-count american hammers
    12 shoulder tap merkins
    Bernie Sanders halfway up the hill then run back
    Repeato

    Batch 3 – Mosey to the small parking lot
    12 jump squats
    12 4-count flutter kicks
    12 inchworms
    Bear crawl to the other side and commence second set
    Repeato

    Batch 4 – Mosey to bigger parking lot
    12 single leg APDs
    12 torso lifts
    12 hand release merkins

    Al Gore until time expires

    Moleskin
    It was a majestic day today. Conversation was abundant even with the excessive amount of internal counting. Clearly, the PAX has been busy with their Ms the past few months. Multiple references to special korean wine and breaking in tree houses.

    The format of this workout and a few of the exercises were pilfered from my daughter’s COVID workout routine. YHC is especially thankful for the introduction of the inchworm.

    Good virtual coffeteria post workout. Glad to be back.

    Splinter

  • In Memoriam, March Madness

    Image result for deflated basketball

    No more than 10 equidistantly spaced normalcy seekers gathered under the waning crescent for this year’s iteration of march madness. Brief mosey over to the center of the blacktop for something that went like this:

    COP
    20x – Staring at Saab not doing SSHs
    10x – Helicopters
    20x – Not so Imperial Walkers
    10+x – Don’t Stare at the Shorts Copperhead Squats
    20x – American Hammers
    10x – Merkins, good ole American style

    The Thang
    Stay in our circle for an exercise YHC is calling, “10 Minutes of Hardywood Startup Ideas.” Pick a number from 1-10 and repeat that many burpees every minute for 10 minutes.

    Short jaunt over to the tennis courts for multiple iterations of line drills using the space between the courts as the lines. First iteration running and 10x squats and merkins at the endlines. Second iteration karaoke facing the school and 10x single count lunges and WWIIs. Third iteration backwards run with mountain climbers and diamond merkins, 10x. Al Gores and plank series in between sets.

    Shimmy over to the northwest corner for an exercise YHC is calling, “10 minutes of inappropriate Hardywood jokes.” Circle up, passing dealers choice ab exercises clockwise around the circle. Ab work for 50 seconds then next person calls an exercise out and start again after 10 seconds.

    Back to the VSF for numbers, max {1…10}, names, and YHC took us out.

    Announcements
    – Prayers out to DTH as he is half way around the world helping those that need it in these trying times.
    – Give blood if you can
    – Support small and local businesses

    Splinter out.

  • Nearly Concentric Squares

    map with concentric squares

    A coincidental 13 gathered on Friday the 13th and shunned the European measuring system in favor of imperial measuring units. Surprisingly, no mileage was called today, just pattern based instructions. The goal was somewhat concentric squares. Here’s how it went down:

    The Route
    – Use north on westmoreland and west on Grove as fixed axis
    – Go north 1 block then turn right
    – Turn right after 1 block then right on Grove
    – Right on westmoreland and proceed 2 blocks north then take a right
    – Right after two blocks then back on grove
    – Continue increasing by a block in each direction until time runs out

    Numbers, Names, no one touched my microphone, and YHC took us out while practicing social distancing.

    Moleskin
    As you will see in the image above, this worked pretty well except it started to get boring on lap 5 & 6. As Faceplant put it, better then out and back on Grove.

    Plenty of interesting facts and events this morning. First of all, good luck to the gentlemen that are running 50 miles (not a 50k) this weekend. Enjoy the solidarity in the woods and don’t share any camelbacks.

    I also learned that Finland is cold, dark, and wet. Oh, and they have less COVID-19 cases than Virginia.

    Even though Hitchhiker may look like a new man, No Tools apparently is a new man (according to Hardywood).

    Handshakes, fists, and elbow bumps may be discouraged, but there has been zero CDC guidance on upright pickle pounding amongst friends.

    Be safe out there gentlemen.

    Splin-tah!

  • Insert Title Here

    Sixteen Spider Run Stalwarts + 1 that was feeling the Bern gathered in the balmy 49° gloom for some hill fun. After the expected northern aggression’s comments about long sleeve attire, YHC declared our routes and off we went.

    map

    The Route
    – Long way around the lake
    – Across the bridge and up the hill by the baseball field
    – Down the parking lot to College

    4s
    – Cut through fraternity row and take a right on Hampshire
    – Hampshire turns to Horsepen and ascend all the way to Patterson
    – Right on Patterson then right on St Christopher
    – Straight across to Tapoan, not Towana
    – Meander by the golf course back to the start

    5s
    – Left on College
    – Right on University
    – Right on Wood
    – Quick left on Lakewood then right on Wood
    – Right on Baldwin
    – Baldwin turns to Hampshire then follow the 4 route

    6s
    – Stay on College all the way to Club Vista and take a right
    – Right on Westham
    – Right on Baldwin
    – Cross Wood and stay on Baldwin then follow the 4 route

    Numberama, Names, then start searching for Posh.

    Moleskin
    Phenomenal morning for a run this morning. Pre/post run mumblechatter was at an all-time high. So high that YHC couldn’t decide on an appropriate backblast title. Therefore, I have listed a few suggestions below. Rather than comment on the backblast (which no one will do anyway), offer an alternative title. It’s like a haiku without the haiku!

    Posh Finds His Way Home
    Hitchhiking on the Snowbank
    Sufferin’ Succotash
    This Run Sucks
    I’m Bored So I Guess I’ll Go Vote
    Marv Wins a Bet
    I Said the Long Way Around the Lake

    Announcement
    HDHH the 18th which is a day before the 19th. Just sayin.

    Splinter says sayonara!

  • Sandersing

    Six tenacious thrill-seekers erratically parked at Hoedown this morning for a late sign-up edition of a Splinter Q. After describing how much sleep YHC lost over the past few days thinking about this Q, off we went for something similar to what is transcribed below.

    Quick double loop counter clockwise around the drop off loop in honor of Upchuck ?. Diversion after turn 3 of lap 2 up the stairway and to the center of the sea of black.

    COP
    – 10x Donald Quixotes
    – 1x Burpee
    – 15x HIGH Knees
    – 2x Burpee (accurately predicted by Hitchhiker)
    – 15x Arm Circles each direction
    – 3x Burpee
    – 20x American Hammers
    – 4x Burpee
    – 15x Imperial Walkers
    – 5x Burpee
    – 15x Mountain Climbers
    – 6x Burpee
    – 10x Lunges
    – 7x Burpee
    – 15x Hillbillies
    – 8x Burpee
    – 20x LBCs
    – 9x Burpee
    – 10x Kimchi Twists
    – 10x Burpee

    Very short mosey to the very short basketball hoop (appropriately sized for some PAX members) and wait for Upchuck to demonstrate his inner Spud Webb. Small 4 corners bounded by two basketball goals. 10x merkins, 20x squats, 30x WWIIs, 40x Flutter Kicks (2 count). Alternate bear crawling and lunging between stations.

    Slightly longer mosey to the southeast corner of the black sea for a full sized 4 corners. Increase count by 5 for previous exercises. Skip jump between stations with arm waving OYO.

    Anticipating complaints due to the lack of moseying, YHC led the PAX for a brief mosey down Lindsay. Partner up for catch me if you can. After some discussion around the intended outcome of Bernie Sanders, and Handshake catching his breath, partner 1 starts “Sandersing” up the hill while partner 2 completes 3 burpees then runs forward to tag partner. Continue up the hill.

    Mosey back down the hill with great fanfare.

    Same partners, suicides up Lindsay with lit lamp posts on the right acting as the lines. Partner 1 runs legs 1 & 3 and partner 2 runs legs 2 & 4. Idle partner squats and jumps repeatedly.

    Needing to run back up the hill, YHC beckoned alternate “Sandersing” and forward run with the lamp posts acting as the transition point. Convene at the top before scurrying back to the parking lot for 2 minutes or mary which included reverse crunches and LBCs.

    Numbers and Salutations before ample prayer requests with YHC taking us out.

    Great fun today fellas.

    Splinter

  • Glenbrooke Circle

    Seventeen scintillating scalawags waited for instructions this morning, and then they came. Summit was the call, trying to resurrect a route from a few months back with some modifications. See above for the pic of the 6 mile route.

    Route
    – head west, across the bridge, down the gravel path and across to University
    – University to left on Ralston
    – Right on River, staying on the sidewalk
    – Right on E Glenbrooke Circle
    – Left on W Glenbrook Circle
    – Right on Summit to the top
    – 4s return the same route (closer to 4.3)
    – 5s take a right at the bottom of Summit to continue on Glenbrook and complete the loop
    – 6s follow the 5s but then take a left on Twin Lake (not Twin Team)
    – Twin Lake turns to Melwood. Left on Charnwood.
    – Say hey to Honeydo then left on Shadow
    – Left on Twin Lake
    – Right on Twin Lake
    – Left on Glenbrooke circle, compete the loop then head back home

    Moleskin
    Plenty of just in time arrivals today, enough that many missed instructions. There were enough there to hear the 4/5/6 route that it was left a surprise to others.

    Plenty of hills out there today boys. Hills and darkness. The world can be a beautiful place when not distracted by our creations.

    Announcements
    – Wedding Singer created a write in candidate for best group for the Monument 10k. If you sign up, add yourself to the F3RVA group
    – Healing place is meeting at 730 after dogpile for 3 miles this week. See TYA for inspiration.

    YHC fumbled through the prayer today. Apologies to all but my thoughts weren’t clear today. Next time.

    Oh, and read Marv’s backblast from last Friday. Casting call for lead roles in the made for TV version will begin next week.

    See ya.

    – Splinter