Author: Viral

  • PRE-BLAST 2019 Hammers & Ales 10/26

    PRE-BLAST 2019 Hammers & Ales 10/26

    This Saturday night is Hammers & Ales! Come on out and support the Richmond Community Toolbank. Good times, great food, good beer, live music …

    You can purchase tickets online or get in touch with Viral at bbassett [at] gmail if you want to come but can’t swing the fee for you and your plus one.

    See You Near The Brooms!

  • Pre-Blast: Please Come to Hammers & Ales 11/10/18 6PM!

    Pre-Blast: Please Come to Hammers & Ales 11/10/18 6PM!

    Brothers! Lug Nut and I need your (yes YOUR) help.

    In one month, the Richmond Community Toolbank is hosting our annual fundraiser, Hammers & Ales. We need you, your Ms AND your friends to make this the success it deserves to be. Over the next month YHC will be spreading the Hammers & Ales good news to the popped collars of Tuckahoe, to the gluten free hipsters of Richmond Proper, to the Wildlings of DaVille, and to the reddened necks of my native SOJ.

    Our goal is to get more than 250 people to attend this year, so we need you! The more people we get to Hammers & Ales, the more volunteers we can equip to get their projects done with the right tools for less money.

    What: Hammers & Ales — Fundraiser for Richmond Community Toolbank
    Where: 1407 Cummings Dr, Richmond, VA 23220, USA
    When: Sat, Nov 10 at 6:00 PM–9:00 PM

    Why: 2nd & 3rd Fs! Not to mention Vässen beer, merlot for the Ms, great food, local band The Green List, a silent auction and fun and games for HIMS, Ms and 2.0s.

    How: Either email me at bbassett@gmail.com to let me know how many tickets you want (you can pay me later) or grab a ticket HERE.

    About Richmond Community Toolbank: 

    The Richmond Community ToolBank is a nonprofit tool lending program that provides fellow not-for-profit organizations with year-round access to an inventory of tools for use in volunteer projects and for facility and grounds maintenance. We provide tools to enhance the charitable sector’s capacity to serve, facilitating hands-on volunteerism in the greater Richmond area.

    The Richmond ToolBank maintains an 10,000 sq ft warehouse in Scott’s Addition and an inventory comprised of more than 200 different types of tools and equipment in volumes large enough to equip thousands of volunteers at a time. Access to ToolBank tools eliminates the need for agencies to incur the expense of purchasing, repairing, and storing tools, reducing the costs associated with service projects and allowing these agencies to focus more of their resources on their mission.

    Plant your corn early,
    Lug Nut & Viral

  • Stay Gold, Mr. Roper, Stay Gold

    Roper’s impromptu VQ?
    Shakedown’s FNG brother?
    Hot poultry taeks from Döner Kebab?
    EF HUTTON batting for the old school corporate cycle?

    What else could you want out of a 530AM workout?!? I LOVE THIS GAME.

    THE THANG

    Mosey to the parking lot for Circle of Pain

    CIRCLE OF PAIN
    20 SSH
    10 merkins
    15 DQ
    15 WW2 sit ups
    15 Copperhead Squats
    20 JVille Hip-Hop Hillbillies

    Mosey to the near field

    REGAL BEAGLE

    Four corners with the following at each corner.

    Merkins x10
    Flutter kicks x20
    Monkey humpers x30
    LBCs x40

    THE RENT’S LATE!
    Ultra polar Bear – line up on baseline. split the field into segments of 25 meters. Near crawl the length and every 25 meters on do 15 merkins, then 20 merkins, then 25 merkins

    Ultra King Crab – do the same back to the other side (Roper shortened the field somewhat for this one)

    Mosey to the shed

    STANLEY AND HELEN

    Pair up just like Stanley Roper and his oversexed wife Helen! One runs the field (Stanley) while the other (Helen) gets hot and bothered with 100 dips, 100 flutter kicks, 100 some other exercise I can’t remember.

    Mosey to the parking lot

    FOUR’S COMPANY TOO
    Two teams of four race each other around the perimeter of the parking lot while the remaining team does a variety of ab exercises (flutters, APDs, WW2s) while they wait.

    Indigenous People’s Run back to (virtual) flag

    2 Minutes of Mary

    CIRCLE OF TRUST
    Number-rama, name-a-rama, Roscoe took us out.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    CSAUP is less than two weeks away! Get with Rosie to help out the Dogtown Degenerates.

    The Healing Place is hitting the home stretch. Get with Shakedown for more info if you want to help or cheer them on for the Monument 10K.

    NAKED MOLESKINE

    Eight mighty oaks posted in the chilly spring air for a very special and extra gloomy Spring Break version of NoToll.

    Your Humble Correspondent has been keeping a low profile around NoToll ever since he rolled up in his Subaru muscle car and pulled a switchblade on a Tuckahoe Soc a few months back. That’s how we Greasers roll! Sodapop Rosie and the rest of the Greasers say the coast is clear for YHC, so it was time to get back into the flow at NoToll.

    Upon getting out of YHC’s car, the parking lot was emptier than normal. Noticeably absent were New Market Git-R-Duns who chose not to participate in this morning’s rumble. Sigh. Nothing Gold Can Stay.

    When it was clear that no one had signed up to Q today -after some prodding – Mr. Roper jumped in and picked up his VQ! Way to go, Roper!

    Even though there was but eight NoTollers today, the mumblechatter was strong, specifically during the COP when Roper had the oh-so-typical counting woes that plague so many of the PAX in their first forays into Q-land, YHC included. That said, for a VQ, Roper did a solid job of keeping the PAX moving and sucking wind.

    Welcome FNG Ponyboy! Ponyboy is the brother of Shakedown and as he said in the parking lot prior to the workout. “I decided to come check out this thing to get my brother to shut up about F3!” Solid EHing, Shakedown, solid EHing.

    Please use the comments to remind YHC how Ponyboy got the name. Because he’s Shakedown’s brother? YHC has never seen The Outsiders, although he’s seen all the Brat Pack films which spawned from this classic. YHC was pulling for “DaVinci” because it sounds like he’s had 20 careers in as many years.

    After the workout five of the PAX retired for a Coffeeteria at Starbucks. Stay tuned because Shakedown will probably post 200 selfies today on Facebook of him building his chicken coop since he took off work. Of interest to YHC was some hot New York Jets NFL Draft talk. Also, YHC learning that he talked with Ponyboy two years ago via phone and email when he inquired about the UofR Brewer’s Certificate Program in the school of continuing ed.  Someday YHC will become a master brewer!

    Stay gold, PAX, stay gold.

  • F3RVA Presents: Swirly’s First Annual Nutcrackle-er

    14 evergreens rose to the trumpet call this morning for a dose of culture and crushin’ it. Here’s how it went down.

    This year is the celebration of the 125th Anniversary of the Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker.  If you are an avid listener of the podcast and/or happened to be at Batteau two weeks ago, then you already know that F3RVA’s very own Swirly is a grand patron of the arts — particularly the Richmond Ballet’s acclaimed annual performance of this holiday classic.

    So, while the Richmond Ballet hosts their dress rehearsal this weekend, Swirly was rather disappointed to learn that he wouldn’t be able to attend to add his suggestions to the artistic director and choreographer this year. It turns out he had DOUBLE BOOKED himself by agreeing to do an Ultra Marathon with TYA. YHC saw this as his humble chance to recognize Swirly for his devotion to high culture and hopefully to put just a little more Sugar Plum Fairy dust in his step this weekend on the race course.

    THE STAHLBAUM HOUSE

    If the PAX gets a few beers into Swirly, he will go on and On and ON and ONNNN about the stagecraft of this scene, so there was no better place to start. The story begins in home of the Stahlbaum’s for a Christmas Party. 

    16 SSHs (IC)
    10 Don Saabotes (IC)
    A LIFO slaughter start to welcome Circle K of 20 merkins (OYO)
    10 Imperial Walkers (IC)
    30 LBCs (IC)
    20 more merkins (OYO)
    10 Nutcracker Soldiers (IC)

    THE PINE FOREST

    Mosey to the sunken lawn in front of the Carillon. Line up along the sidelines like a nutcracker army.

    Tim the Bears: Polar Bear Crawl to the other side. Al Gore. Polar Bear Crawl back. Al Gore.

    Lunging Bulgarian Ball Busters: 5 lunges forward, then two-count reverse lunge with a high-knee kick. LBBB over. Al Gore. LBBB back. Al Gore.

    TTB>LBBB: Tim the Bear over, LBBB back. Plank for the six.

    This is the scene where the Nutcracker becomes a human prince. YHC believes that Flipper and Saab became figurative “human princes” as YHC saw them express their empowerment to “Take Back The Night” thanks to those ballbusters.

    DROSSELMEYER’S CLOCK

    Drosselmeyer – a town councilman, toymaker and magician – is Clara’s godfather . In the ballet Clara falls asleep at midnight and while she’s falling asleep she sees him atop the clock as it strikes twelve.

    Mosey to the circle near the amphitheater.

    Using a lightpost as “12 O’Clock” Mouse King Crawl to 3 O’Clock on the clock face to do three burpees. Mouse King Crawl to 6 0’Clock to do six burpees. All the way around for nine and twelve to finish. Al Gore for the six.

    LAND OF SWEETS

    Mosey to the bottom of the amphitheater.

    Escalator Up: Do one 2-Count Russian Twist (AKA American Hammer) on every step and add one as you go up to 18.
    Escalator Down: Do 18 Cossack Dips (alternating single leg dips) on the way down to 1.

    Since the Land of Sweets turned out to be very salty, during tonight’s performance, the Cossack Dips were replaced by alternating Lieutenant Danilovs (Lt. Dans) or in the end most everyone except Flipper and Circle K (or Swirly or Bleeder?) ran out of time.

    ENCORE

    Mosey back to the flag for a two minutes of Mary encore, dealer’s choice.

    Swirly – Single Leg Lifts (IC 10 each leg)
    HoneyDo – Freddy Mercurys (IC 20)

    Number-rama. Name-a-rama. Sippy took us out.

    Announcements

    NMS

    Circle K is known to come in hot, but this morning he was molten. At his speed coming up the road as the PAX ran the other way, one might think he drove all the way from South Hill earlier this morning once he bungee corded that tarp over the hospital sign to shut it down. YHC wanted to make us easier to find, since he’d be late, but there was some mumblechatter that Circle K is part bloodhound and would find us no matter where we went.

    Time flies when the PAX is having fun! The workout barely let YHC run the PAX run at all. YHC had a Dora 125/250/375 and a Nutcracker Triple Check planned. Ah well. The Cossack Dips were awesome, but that was FAR TOO MANY of those. YHC will take a page from Lab Rat and apologize. The F3 Exicon needs more Nutcracker or Russian-themed exercises. YHC hopes we see more lunging ball busters and cossack dips in the future.

    In all seriousness, this was YHC’s first Q since he sprained the ever loving crap out of his ankle back in August. Glad to be back in the saddle, thanks to the PAX for giving YHC 45 minutes of your day, it was an honor.

    Merkin Count: 85

    We’re going viral!

  • Pre-Blast: Richmond Community Toolbank Hammers & Ales 10/7!

    Pre-Blast: Richmond Community Toolbank Hammers & Ales 10/7!

    Gentlemen! YHC is proud to serve on the Richmond Community Toolbank‘s board along with Lightning Rod and we need your support for a little Second and Third F this Saturday evening for our annual fundraiser called Hammers & Ales.

    This Saturday at 6PM the Toolbank will have beer from Stone Brewing, barbecue from Buz & Neds (with plenty of other food) along with the MoDeBree Band for a celebration of the good work the Toolbank has done over the last year providing tools to enhance the charitable sector’s capacity to serve, facilitating hands-on volunteerism in the greater Richmond area. What’s better? $35 of the ticket cost can be counted as a charitable donation! It’s a win-win-win!

    So far, YHC knows Lightning Rod, Loose Goose, Lab Rat & YHC will be there (with our Ms) so please come and make a date of it!

    Buy tickets HERE.

    Or call/text Viral at 914 886 8109 for more details. Thank you and see you there!

  • BRR 2017 F3RVA Corporate Updates

  • Wasted Away Again in Strandaritaville

    Another day, another non-backblast here on The Strand. Instead of explaining that it was hot and gross and how great the PAX was. YHC is trying to swim upstream against Eclipse Insantity so a gifted Weinke from Friday’s Blackbeard must suffice.

  • Backblasts might be on “Beach Time” here on The Strand

    13 regulars and one Richmonder (repping his WDog shirt) posted in the gloom for Blackbeard’s Revenge. Here’s how it went down in 80 degree heat and 89% humidity.

    Since it might be that Cheezy Biscuit — the Q at Blackbeard at F3GrandStrand on Thursday — had such a good birthday (and birthday Q) it might be that the Thursday backblast for Blackbeard is MIA in all the tomfoolery. Knowing that any good F3er never leaves anyone behind, YHC’s muggy and sweaty descriptions will have to suffice to make sure we’re on the right side of Corporate.  Let’s face facts fellas … Corporate’s Big Data initiative is a cruel, Cruel, CRUEL mistress.

    Slaughter start

    COP – Super Rapid SSHs (31), IW, Merkins (31), arm circles, reverso ACs, other stuff. Lots of sand.

    Mosey around the AO and back to the baseball field for Burpee Diamond. 10 burpees at 1st base, 10 burpees at second, 10 burpees at third, 1 burpee (for a total of 31) at home. Lots of sand. Lots of sweating.

    Baseball diamond for Four Corners Escalator. Run around the diamond stopping at each base for 10, 10, 10 & 1 for a total of 31 of each exercise (Cheezy’s new age – HATE!) adding a new exercise to the count each time around for arms, core and legs.  Lots of sand. Lots of sweating. Lots of howling.

    Arms: 1: Merkins, 2: Carolina Drydocks, 3: Newton’s Cradle
    Core: 1: LBCs, 2: Crunchy Frogs, 3: ???
    Legs: 1: Squats, 2: Lunges, 3: Leg Lifts
    Lots of sand. Lots of sweating. Lots of howling. GOOD GRIEF WHY AM I STEAMING IN 84 DEGREE HEAT AND 90% HUMIDITY??

    Mosey back to the flag for some final exercises & Mary.

    Numberama, Name-a-rama, Announcements, a birthday cake for Cheezy, and someone took us out.

    NMS

    It’s HOT here.  Hot and humid. Hot and humid and super sandy. While the sand doesn’t really matter (although Anakin disagrees), the heat and humidity adds a whole other element to the workout that YHC has not been used to, even in Richmond.

    While Myrtle Beach is not this New York boy’s **ahem** preferred beach vacation destination, the PAX of F3 Grand Strand are just as solid as our Richmond brothers and have made a trip to the Redneck Riviera with YHC’s in laws immensely more tolerable. Meeting folks like OneCall, Spinal Tap, Say What?, Bidet, Bob the Builder, the aforementioned Cheezy and the unstoppable 69 year old (AND GOING STRONG!) Papa Smurf has made for a fantastic week.

    Should your travels take you to the Strand, be sure not to miss out on the fun of this F3 Group!

  • Don’t let him back on the Q sheet

    Consider this a Myrtle Beach postcard from Viral, who is DR at F3 Grand Strand … where it is always 80 and humid as balls. – V

    The Thang:

    Conditions
    84 and awful humidity

    So, I always enjoy getting down to #Blackbeard to see the #HIM down there, and with all the FNG’s they have had lately, meet a few new guys!  Plus, I have had the #DoubleRespect F3Gear in my car for quite some time to deliver to Papa Smurf.  When YHC saw the pre-order pop up, I had to have it for our man.  69 years old and a true inspiration to everyone who posts with him.  With all the Guest Q’s and VQ’s and helping #Timeshare get rolling, the weeks just flew by before I could get to #Blackbeard, and as always, it was an honor and a privilege to do so.

    I rolled in around 0510 and saw the bright lights on, and Papa’s truck parked.  I knew he was getting in his pre-run to honor his brother as he always does.  I also saw to my surprise, Billboard’s truck.  It was good to catch up with him as I haven’t seen him in a while as work demands have been kicking his butt.  We wandered around, setting up the cones and when we got back to the cars, PAX were everywhere!!!  Punch Bug and Faulkner came running in.  Spinal Tap and Snooze came running from the other direction.  Met Viral from Virginia.  Saw Blue Hawaii, who YHC hadn’t seen in forever, but who put a few brutal beatdowns on me over the past few years as Guest Q. We also got to chat about Sanchez who moved down his way, and has posted 1x.  One Stinking Time!!  When does a guy lose his name?

    Then YHC got to see all the regulars and some new faces, including Valvano for his first #Blackbeard post as he now lives 10 minutes from the AO – make sure he doesn’t #FartSack men!!  Get him on the #Blackbeard chatter/texts!

    It was great seeing everyone, fist bumping, chatting a bit, and seeing 22 PAX this morning!!  #HugeNumbers

    The theme of the day was burpees, as we finally wind down the 3 month Charity Challenge.  After the first few sets, the complete lack of oxygen made this #beatdown harder than it has been at other AO’s, but these men pushed it hard!!

    1 minute warning

    The DISCLAIMER was given and the circled up men were told that there would be a lot of burpees. Uh Oh

    COP
    SSH x 15 IC
    5 burpees OYO
    IW x 15 IC
    5 burpees OYO
    Tempo Squat x 15 IC
    There were slow and easy, so
    10 burpees OYO
    22 Merkins – single count
    5 burpees OYO
    TTT x 15 IC
    10 burpees OYO (Since TTT is really a stretch)
    It was at this point that YHC heard someone say, “Don’t let him back on the Q sheet”
    Hmmmmm…..
    Flutters x 15 IC
    BBSU x 15 OYO
    10 Burpees OYO

    The THANG
    We moseyed to the soccer field where the cones had been set up in 4 corners
    Start here, do 5 Burpees and then run to each cone and do 5 Burpees at each one, including the beginning cone again
    This was a total of 25 around the 4 corners with the repeat at the first one
    AMRAP Flutters and/or BBSU’s.  Alternate as needed until the 6 gets there
    Plank.  Regroup in plank.  Silent 10 count in plank.  More plank.  Use this to recover; control your breathing.  Low Plank.  Recover.

    Starting at corner 1, do 20 Squats/20 Merkins
    Run to next corner, do 15 Squats/15 Merkins
    Next corner, 10 Squats/10 Merkins
    Next corner, 5 Squats/5 Merkins
    Back to beginning corner, 5 Squats/5 Merkins
    Next corner, 10 Squats/10 Merkins
    Next corner, 15 Squats/15 Merkins
    Final corner 20 Squats/20 Merkins
    Wait here for the 6
    AMRAP Flutters and/or BBSU’s.  Regroup in plank.  Silent 10 count in plank.  More plank.  Use this to recover; control your breathing
    Back to starting corner

    Rinse and repeat the 4 (really 5) corners with burpees
    Regroup in plank.  Silent 10 count in plank.  More plank

    Next was to be another round the down and up escalator/descalator/whatever
    This time with Lunges and Carolina Dry Docks (count each leg)
    So we started with 20 and 20, and rounding the corners – 15/15, 10/10, 5/5, back to 5/5, 10/10, 15/15, and finally 20/20
    AMRAP Flutters and/or BBSU’s.  Regroup in plank.  Silent 10 count in plank.  More plank.  Use this to recover; control your breathing

    We then had just enough time to finish with
    5 burpees at this corner
    Next corner – 5 Turkish Get ups
    Next corner – 10 burpees
    Final corner – 10 Turkish Get ups

    Mosey back to start

    Time!

    COT
    Count-O-Rama – 22 with 2 guests
    Name-O-Rama
    Prayer requests unspoken
    BOM by YHC

    Moleskin
    – Truly an honor to present Papa Smurf with the #DoubleRespect shirt.  You are an inspiration to us all!
    – Strong work today.  This was not an easy one.  Punch Bug said we had around 2.0 miles.  And there were 110 burpees in addition to all the other stuff!
    – A lot of the men asked how many burpees we did.  110.  That’s a lot.  And it just goes to show you that with support, accountability, fellowship, and all the things F3 is amazing for, men can accomplish things they never thought they could
    – Enjoyed it fellas!  KEEP EH’ing!!!

    Announcements
    – Be sure to check out our regional website.  All local information will be on that!
    – There have been a few emails lately.  If you aren’t getting them, let me know so we can be sure you are in our database.
    – Original logo shirt order is live – see the Region News post
    – Dad camp this weekend – Get with Cheesy – Operation Sweet Tooth school supply drive
    – Blue Hawaii Guest Q at Warthog Thursday
    – Cheesy Biscuit Birthday Q at Blackbeard Thursday
    – Announcement was made for an open spot on the 25th, but as YHC was typing this, Spinal Tap took it!! #Nice

    Aye!
    OneCall

  • The Greatest Workout In the World (Tribute)

    Note: YHC could not remember The Greatest Workout in the World, this is just a tribute.

    Slaughter Start – 10 Burpees
    Parking Lot Tracers
    COP     – SSH (20), IW (15), DQ (10), Merkins (10)

    Mosey to the soccer field for Fantastic Four Corners (10 merkins, 20 jump squats, 30 copperheads, 40 LBCs). Repeato 3X

    Mosey to the outdoor basketball courts at JRHS for a Ghost Bouncers Triple Check. Station #1: Donkey Kicks or BTTW. Station #2: Flutter Kicks. The Ghost of George Washington (more on that later) sets the pace running to the road and back.

    Cool down a bit with some OYO 20-Count Mary. Alabama Prom Dates, Rosalitas, Single Leg APDs, LBCs, Other Leg APDs, LBCs, probably some other stuff YHC can’t remember that was totes amazeballs.

    Mosey back to hill by the soccer field for Bearway to Elevens. Bear crawl to the top of the hill, perform exercise bearcrawl back and do the same exercise. Monkey Humpers (2x), Merkins, SSHs, some other stuff.

    COT: No Numberama, no Name-a-rama, Viral took us out.

    NMS

    When SOJ takeover week was planned by the the Southside’s version of General Patton, AKA Rosie, YHC looked at the schedule and realized one southside stronghold would probably need some coverage. While most of YHC’s comrades-in-arms were parachuting behind enemy lines in order to advance the Redneck Agenda on Friday, YHC decided YHC could best help by guarding the baggage train — AKA TwinTeam.

    Pulling in the parking lot four minutes prior to start time, YHC shouldn’t have been surprised his vehicle was the first. YHC really hoped that a “solo workout” (AKA fartsack repeato 2x) would be the grueling order of the day, but DK kept YHC honest rolling in 90 seconds before the start time. Side note: it’s very weird doing a COP with two people. Side side note: maybe it’s even weirder doing a COT with two. If ever faced with such a COT challenge, YHC suggests going right arms to opposing right shoulders. Very un-awkward and quite dude-ly, so thanks for the suggestion, DK!

    As far as the workout itself? The F3RVA PAX missed probably one of the most amazing workouts ever!

    On the way to Four Corners, DK smelled smoke and heard cries for help from Riverton. The PAX rolled over into the subdivision and quickly and efficiently removed all pets and children from the burning building before heading to start our 10 merkins. No big deal.

    THEN over on the basketball courts, the PAX of two was troubled not having a third partner for the triple-check. All of a sudden, the Ghost of George Washington (who once surveyed these lands for a canal in his formative years by the way) appeared from the mists of the nearest woods and said “hey bros, you dudes need a third?” YHC must say, you should have seen him do those BTTWs, YHC never knew this from his 7th grade history text book — but let YHC tell you G-Dub (he told the PAX to call him that) is YOKED.

    YHC wishes that was the last amazing story, but it’s actually not! During the Bearway to Elevens an actual ursus americanus started growling at the PAX (and no, Saab not the other kind of ursus americanus you and Bleeder and TYA beat off with sticks … ). G-Dub said “AW HELL NAW!” and floated over and slayed that beast with his bare (ghost) hands.  Wow.

    G-Dub had some words of inspiration during the COT. During announcements he reminded us to “avoid foreign entanglements” and to always “only use form on an individual exercise approved by those righteous dudes Toga and Conspiracy” to get totally shredded.

    Now that was a life-changing morning! YHC has never seen anything like this workout! If only more people were here to dispute these tales …

    Going Viral!