Author: Whitesnake

  • Ten Dancing Fools

    A lovely spring morning brought ten John Travolta wanna-be’s to a Hoedown. According to Uma Thurman dancing through EF Huton’s head, it went something like this:

    Moseyed to the upper blacktop, ran a lap and then circled up for some warmups of SSH, Hillbillies, Ukrainian Soldiers, DQs, Deadman hang to Cherry Pickers, Freddie Mercuries, Mercury Freddie’s, LBCs and a pencil role to merkins.

    We then lined up for some square dancing (four corners) starting with 10 donkey kicks, 20 squats, 30 Shoulder Taps, 40 SSH (Doing every exercise on the way back). Had so much fun and did it again with 10 HRM, 20 WWII, 30 LBCs, 40 Hammers.

    Everyone was starting to get their groove on and the imaginary music moved us to do the burpee shuffle. Ten burpees, then shuffle half way down the blacktop, then nine and shuffle back—all the way down to one. 55 total burpees. The Pax loved it. There was time to do it again but I went against the pax and took us down to the loop and did two rounds of a triple check—run the loop, people’s chair with air press and merkins.

    Accused of not being creative enough, I had us partner up and do a Bro-Burpee. This is the hot new dance coming to an AO near you.

    We circled up and finished with a burpee ring of fire—went around 3 times. Senior Frog may still be there doing burpees as he wouldn’t stop.

    The pax started the morning complaining about their Saturday workout and they transitioned to complaining about mine by the end. Mission accomplished.

    Announcements: EF Huton has the best pork loin in Richmond according to the lucky receivers of his Breaking Bread food. Sign up to top his loin.

    Thanks for letting me lead.

  • Dumpster route

    A trio from the far west end followed the garbage man this morning and according the smell, we did the following:

    We followed the garbage truck from Pocahontas to Short Pump Park and did some warmups under the Pavilion-SSH, Ukrainian Soldiers, IW, Merkins, LBCs and Flutters.
    We then went to the Pergola courtyard and did some triple checks. First one: timer does the small loop, others do HRM and Squats. Second: timer runs to pavilion wall and back, others do dips and incline merkins—we shared a bench even though there were many to use—we are the cutest. We finished with 11s: WWII and 4 count flutters. Started with bear crawling up and down the courtyard, evolved to lunges, jogging and crab walk. We then headed home.

    Came in 2 minutes late. I did not charge extra. Only did 2.4 miles but Lighthouse gave me a pass because of the bear crawls.

    Prayers to all those suffering and fighting through cancer.

    Thanks for letting me lead.

  • The hottest club in Short Pump is back!

    The hottest club in Short Pump is back!

    Buckle up and put on your avocado toast helmets because I’ve got the hottest insider scoop on the reopening of the 2023 sensation hitting the 2024 nightlife scene: Brunch Club!

    Picture this: a kaleidoscope of mimosa fountains, DJ Bootylicious Bagel spinning beats that make your pancakes flip, and a dance floor where every move is an ode to the sacred art of brunching. It’s like if Coachella and a pancake house had a love child, and that child grew up to be the reigning monarch of morning revelry. This place has everything, brunch-goers in onesies, drag queens in pancake makeup, and even a group of seniors breakdancing like it’s their last hurrah. Need atmosphere? Picture this: a DJ booth made out of smashed avocado and a dance floor that’s funkier than day-old hollandaise sauce. And the crowd? Oh, honey, it’s a mix of brunch aficionados and breakfast rebels, sipping cocktails with names you can’t pronounce and wearing sunglasses indoors like it’s a fashion statement.


    Now, let’s talk about the fabulous trio that’s been causing a stir at Brunch Club. First up, we’ve got Gypsy. Gypsy is like the human embodiment of a sunrise over the city skyline, with a side of extra crispy bacon. His moves on the dance floor are like poetry in motion, effortlessly blending yoga poses with disco fever. Then there’s Whitesnake, who pretends his hair is as wild as his spirit. Picture a cross between a breakdancing unicorn, an a 80s rockstar, and a former child actor who still regrets going to the ALF auditions drunk. And last but certainly not least, we have Lighthouse. Lighthouse is the guiding beacon of the Brunch Club scene, always shining bright with his infectious energy and killer dance moves that could rival the sunrise itself.


    Oh, but wait, the drama at Brunch Club doesn’t stop at the dance floor. No, no, no. Gypsy, the enigmatic trailblazer of the trio, recently led us on a wild adventure that left our brunch boots shaking and our mimosa glasses empty. Yes, Gypsy made us run, and run far beyond the city limits and into the sunrise, chasing some elusive brunch nirvana. But fear not, because out of that epic journey emerged something truly spectacular: the Gypsy Road. Let’s just say it’s like trying to twerk with a stack of pancakes on your head—absurd, absurdly messy, and definitely not FDA-approved. Some call it a cross between the Running Man and a conga line, performed on a floor made of waffles. Not the good kind of waffles, but the ones I like to find in the dumpster behind a Waffle House at 3AM. But hey, that’s the beauty of Brunch Club: where the mimosas flow freely, the bacon sizzles, and the dance moves leave you questioning your life choices and your dignity in equal measure.


    And as the hangovers loom larger than yesterday’s omelette, we bid adieu to another wild morning at Brunch Club. Remember, as you stumble out the door with a belly full of regret and a murse full of leftover bacon, brunch isn’t just a meal—it’s a way of life. So until next time, keep your mimosas bottomless, your pancakes fluffy, and your dance moves questionable.

  • Where’s Baldo?

    Where’s Baldo?

    Eight joined up this morning for some running and/or walking and/or exercises around the school. We ran north up Pump and stayed left on (old) Pump, took a left on Robson, left on Sable, left on Waterford, left on Church and came back either via Glen Eagles or Pump. 5 miles if you went back Glen Eagles.

    At coffee, we talked about testicles, disposable camera pranks and a future best seller which is either a book filled with lots of photos of nuts and you need to search for a particular pair or a more true variation of Where’s Waldo but Waldo is hanging brain and you need to find his red and white striped balls. And as I think of it, our route looked like a couple of weirdly shaped balls. So where is Baldo anyway and is he wearing pants?

  • Missing

    Missing

    Seven could have been eight this morning. But my ex co-conspirator White Deer text me this morning that “White deer and cold rain don’t mix”. That left me mad and I took it out on the pax.

    We warmed up with 20 SSH and then got all nice and wet with some Susan Summers. With both sides all damp to the glee of all, we did merkins in cadence (13 count, not 10). Then did arm circles, DQs and moseyed to the school.

    Partnered up (where was mine?) at the covered bus pickup and one partner ran the courtyard triangle doing 5 burpees halfway while the other did an exercise. We did two sets of HRM, LBCs & Lt Dans. After getting to 30 burpees we moseyed to the basketball courts.

    In celebration of UR beating VCU, we did four corners and hit every exercise on the way back. Ten burpees, 20 Squats, 30 Plank Jacks and 40 SSH was at each corner. After getting to 40 more burpees and finding a crushed milk carton, we moseyed to the tennis courts.

    This is where White Deer took over. Oh wait… We shuffled up and down both sides of the courts that confused some and felt too painful for others and then did a shuttle run doing 5 burpees at the end of each court. We learned that the courts are not level as the water got deeper the closer you got to the woods. The last 5 burpees (for those that did them) were in a couple inches of brown water. After 20 more burpees total we did a long mosey to the front of the school.

    We partnered up again and one ran around the front loop while the other did some ab work. Did this four times with Crunchy Frogs (or hand claps for some), Reverse Crunches, Flutters and LBCs. Moseyed to the pavilion near the football field and did dips until the 6 arrived. Then we did 20 dips and 20 incline merkins, then 15 then 10. With a few minutes left we circles up and did ten burpees. Got us to 100 for the day! We also did 2.4 miles!! Great job everybody.

    Announcements: 2nd F this Tuesday at Firehouse Subs at noon. Gypsy is collected facial hair for the Merkin Society of Philadelphia. Grow Ruck in May.

  • Die Hard 2: Die Harder

    Ten strong this morning (including a returning Gypsy) suffered through my sequel to the Christmas time Die Hard workout. I like my themes and had no good new ideas, so why not do a sequel! It was clear many of the Pax have not seen this classic 1990 movie which is sad. It is a must watch.

    Before getting to the main dish, we hit the track and did a lap of indigenous people run/walk. Main qualifier was that we do it correctly-only one runner at a time or we would have a 5 burpee penalty. All was fine until Mr. Rogers wanted us to do burpees and broke the rules. We then ran to the top of Heartbreak Ridge for warmups: 25 SSH, 20 Hillbillies, 20 Merkins, 20 LBCs, 20 Freddies, maybe something else.

    Before you see a sequel, you need a refresher on the original. We did 10 down/up the hill runs to remind us what it was like to climb Nakatomi Plaza.

    Then a Die Hard 2 trivia question. No one knew the answer “Just the fax” so we did 5 more hill runs with escalating Burpees (1-5). We then worked on our flying skills with some Bat Wings (20 arm circles forward, 20 backward, 20 seal claps, 20 overhead claps–keeping the arms up at all times). We passed the flight test so took a break from Nakatomi Plaza and went to the baseball field for some partner exercises.

    One partner ran the bases, other did Squats (3 rounds) WWII (3 rounds) and after a successful Die Hard 2 Trivia question, we did it again with HRM (3 rounds).

    We did one last flight of Nakatomi Plaza and then hit the football field. We made two lines to create a runway for the planes running out of gas and ran to the 50, 5 burpees, high knees to the end, Bernie back and had time to do it again. One line was great, the other a mess but no planes crashed.

    Total of 2.1 miles today. Less miles than when Handshake got us lost offsite down Shane Road. Similar level of complaints.

    It was a honor to lead this morning.

    I will steal some quotes from the movie to express the opinion of the Pax:

    Whitesnake: You’re the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    Handshake: Story of my life.

    Lighthouse: Oh man, I can’t fucking believe this. Another hill, another burpee. How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?

    Whitesnake: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

    “Die Hard with a Vengeance” coming to a AO near you, sometime in the future…

  • I was on Baywatch

    Visiting my parents in Wilmington NC and made my first downrange visit to Baywatch. Flight Nurse was the Q and 20 strong (including 3 FNGs) got to enjoy a beautiful morning on the beach.
    We started at the basketball courts for warmups and the ran halfway to the beach for more exercises. Then we ran to the beach and did 11s (merkins and plank jacks) and then a combo of bear crawls and crabwalks. To make it interesting, the beach is under renovation and there is a 3 foot round pipe across the entire beach (to add sand). A sand hill got you over the pipe but it added elevation to all the workouts. BTW, Crabwalks on the beach should be illegal. We then ran back to the AO. Total of about 2 miles running back and forth to the beach.

  • Pump Park Party

    As the sun began to rise, five friends gathered at the trailhead, their breath visible in the crisp morning air. With determination in their eyes, they set off on their 3-mile journey through the winding paths of the short pump park forest. Along the way, they encountered their first challenge: 25 burpees—5 then run a loop (5x). That was Pigskins favorite. Despite the burn in their muscles, they cheered each other on, pushing through together.

    As they continued their run, they reached a clearing where they decided to incorporate a four corners exercise, twice over, adding a playful twist to their workout routine. With their silence echoing through the trees, they did WIIs, reverse crunches, squats and lbcs (10,20,30,40) and did it again with HRM, heels to heaven, American hammers and jump squats.

    Then they headed back and arrived at the bus loop. Undeterred, they rallied together and jogged around the loop twice, using it as an opportunity to reach a full 3 miles.


    Glad to have Centrum Silver visit from Roanoke. This was his first time at WTH having been to Circus Maximus on a prior visit.

  • Sharts Out

    In the vibrant town of Fitville, nestled amidst rolling hills, there lived a group of nine workout warriors. Every Thursday at the crack of dawn, precisely at 5:30 AM, they converged at the outdoor gym, a rugged yet picturesque spot overlooking the town, where the ghost of Mills E. Godwin, a legendary fitness enthusiast from Fitville’s past, was said to linger, watching over their workouts with a spectral eye.

    Whitesnake, with his lightning-fast reflexes and unwavering determination, assumed the lead role among the warriors, his presence electrifying the air with anticipation. As they began their warm-up routine, guided by Pigskins speeding, Chum Bucket’s booming encouragement, Garden Gnome’s precision and Johnsonville’s raw power set the tone for the challenging session ahead.

    Pigskin, known for his athletic prowess, matched Johnsonville’s strength with effortless ease, while Atilla, the embodiment of resilience, tackled the single-leg deadlifts with a focus that bordered on the supernatural. Offshore, his gaze fixed on the horizon, remained steadfast in his commitment to excellence, his every movement a testament to his indomitable spirit.

    As the workout progressed, Whitesnake dominated the kettlebell swings with a ferocity that left the group in awe, his rhythmic motion mirroring the beat of their collective heart. Lighthouse, with his unwavering dedication and impeccable form, flawlessly executed the rows and presses, his muscles rippling with every exertion.

    Meanwhile, White Deer, the epitome of grace and poise, led the warriors through the core circuit with a fluidity that seemed almost ethereal, his movements guided by an inner strength that transcended the physical realm. And amidst it all, a mystery lingered: a faint scent, a subtle sound. Who among them had sharted?

    As the workout continued, whispers circulated among the warriors, each casting suspicious glances at their comrades. Yet, no one owned up to the clandestine act, and the mystery remained unsolved, adding an unexpected twist to their routine.

    United by their love for kettlebell training and fueled by the spectral presence of Fitville’s legendary figure, the nine warriors pushed themselves to their limits, each repetition bringing them one step closer to greatness. And as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden glow over the town, they knew that they had honored the legacy of Mills E. Godwin and forged a bond that would endure for eternity in the “annals” of Fitville’s history, even if the mystery of the shart remained unresolved.

  • Why am I doing this hill again?

    I have a new idea, let’s do this route where we get to go up a Raintree hill twice and never go down it. We can also find more hills later as we run around in circles. Sound good?

    Seven of us followed my dizzying 4 different circles route without error and enjoyed ~4.5-5 miles while Blue Moon continued his comeback routine.

    There was one error, YHC picking this route.

    A good group at Dunkin’ followed. Looking forward to Pigskin and Gomer returning from Honduras and hearing about their trip.

    February has a few different challenging events for this group. Come join in!

    Feb 10: Frozen Triangle CSAUP starts at 6AM at Dogpile

    Feb 17: Oak Island Race-Blue Moon (10k) and Gypsy (Half) (along with others from F3)

    Feb 25: Bear Creek 10 Mile- Whitesnake and Upchuck (along with others from F3)