It was cold rainy day in March and Johnsonville had the Q. Gomer made some early comment about not using any cover and Johnsonville complied. There was running and exercising around the pickleball courts and lots of work in puddles. This Q became legendary because Pigskin quit early thinking he was going to die if he continued. They were so cold that Johnsonville forgot to post the backblast. “Stupid” is what is referenced when looking back on this Q. Remember, as Mr. Garrison said, “there are no stupid answers, just stupid people”.
Author: Whitesnake
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Heartbreak Ridge: Wrapped
2024 was another great year at Heartbreak and for the final Q, we reviewed some of our greatest hits. And if the Pax guessed the Q for each routine, the Q did 5 burpees (and they never guessed wrong).
We started with a warmup of SSH, Ukrainian Soldiers, Dead man’s hang, Cherry Pickers, Flutters, Handshake Scorpion Kicks, Half Pencil Roll, Honeydo Scorpion Kicks & HRM.
Then we hit the bus loop and did 3 squats at each pole. This was a Senor Frog special and with him not attending, no burpees were assigned.
We hit the back lot and partnered up for some wheelbarrows and derkins (3X). Honeydo was the Q and was correctly guessed by the Pax and so he did 5 burpees in honor of his Q and the rest did SSH.
We were next to the bleachers so did a Lindsey of Step-ups and Dips. The Pax correctly identified this as an Attila favorite and he did 5 burpees as the rest did SSH.
After a mosey to the wall, we did a triple check of people’s chair with overhead press, LBCs and the runner going to the far right pole and weaving their way to the far left pole, then the same from the left for the second run and for the final run, going straight ahead and then choosing left or right. Handshake started by saying this was his and so he did 5 burpees at the end while we did SSH.
Mosey to the railing and it was time for a Pigskin favorite. 7’s with the railings in the middle: go over the railings one way and under the other. The exercises were HRM and WW2. Pigskin did his 5 burpees and we all did SSH.
Time was running out so we went back to the flag. Those that did not have an exercise called or did not Q today (Gomer, Lighthouse, Offshore, Blue Moon), did not Q enough at Heartbreak in 2024 and so did ten burpees while the rest of us did SSH. Then the 5 of us with multiple Q’s in 2024 (Handshake, Attila, Pigskin, Honeydo and me) did 5 burpees to catch up. We all finished with SSH until time.
Announcement: 1/1/25 Convergence at Dogpile/WDog
Prayers: Thanks for 2024 for blessings in 2025 and raising up Fudd’s sister Mary, Fireman Ed and Roger Roger’s family.
Coffeeteria at Starbucks. Attila did not attend because he had to take a shit and the rest of us, joined by Hutton, talked about taking a shit.
Pigskin left us with the “see you next year” dad joke. Of course he did.
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Bear Crawl to nowhere
Four fan favorites braved the cold and went Deep. We started with a bus loop warmup and then circled up for some SSH, IW, Ukrainian Soldiers, Flutters, H2H, Merkins and Helicopters.
We then crossed the street and went into Greengate down Vinery Ave. We did consolidated 7’s at every section of row houses. Started with 6 two count shoulder taps and one merkin and then 5/2,etc.
At the end of the street we partnered up and one partner ran around the block and the other did flutters, then squats and then HRM .
It was now time to get Deep. We moseyed a bit down the street until we came to a sign warning us about a steep decline. We ventured down the paved path until it flattened out and I gave instructions: Ukrainian Soldier walks until we get to the bridge, bear crawl on the bridge and then lunge walk after the bridge.
Into the dark we went, and this is where we found out the bridge went on FOREVER! So after too many bear crawls, I called an audible and we lunged. At some point the bridge ended and we moseyed a bit and then turned around. On the way back we did more Soldiers and then bunny hopped up to the bridge and ran on the bridge back to the start of the path. We then bear crawled up the steep decline.
We reversed the same 7’s on the way back and then had time to hit the hairy Nuckol. There we did balls to the ball toe taps and then Australian mountain climbers with runs up the hill in between with 5 burpees at the top.
We then moseyed back to the cars and did some Mary until time.
No announcements and I took us out in prayer.
Mr. Rogers and I enjoyed some coffee and company afterwards. We had the Starbucks all to ourselves.
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Where is my Gypsy?
With your feet on the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse, if there’s nothing in it
And you’ll ask yourselfWhere is my Gypsy?
Where is my Gypsy?
Where is my Gypsy?But Lighthouse was there, and we ran 3.4 miles pre Gridiron. And Gypsy showed up at coffee/eggnog to answer our question.
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A Festivus Miracle!
A record 17 for the regular Thursday Circus Maximus AO including Tippecanoe!
The story of Festivus: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my daughter. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way. What happened to the doll? It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the rest of us.
Before I went over the 5 key to Festivus, we did some warmups in honor of my favorite Seinfeld episode that featured opposite George. Because if every instinct I have is wrong, the opposite would have to be right. We did some reverse arm circles (10 big then 5 small), then some forward, then we put our arms all the way up and our legs together to start some opposite SSH. Some gravitated to normal SSH, White Deer did his normal weird ones and Chum was just lost. I think it broke him. We also did some other warmups including Ukrainian Soldiers, Flutters and Merkins.
We reviewed as a group the 5 principles of Festivus. 1) There is an aluminum pole with no decorations (I find tinsel distracting). The pole was proudly displayed on the sidewalk. It’s made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio. 2) It begins with the airing of grievances 3) Their is a meal 4) It ends with the Feats of Strength and 5) Be on the lookout for a Festivus miracle(s).
The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with some exercises and now you’re gonna hear about it. We went around the circle and announced what exercise we had a problem with and then we all did 20 of such exercise. The Pax had problems with Sit and Presses (twice), Squats (twice), Pulse Squats, Burpees (10 reps, not 20), Swings, A lap around the bus loop, Waiter carry, Clean & Press, Russian Twists, Lawnmower pulls, Halos, Pull throughs (twice in a row, thanks Mr. Rogers), One legged deadlifts and a few others. 280 reps, 10 burpees, one lap and a waiter carry for a long walk and the grievances were complete.
We had a little time for the Contest. The first contest was for me to explain the game Odds and Evens. Some Pax never heard of it, some knew but pretended not to understand just to hear me explain it poorly thrice times and others did not care. You should’ve seen the look on Handshake’s face! It was the same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist. We then partnered up, played odds and evens (2 out of 3) and the winner did curls while the loser ran to the end of the lot and did 5 burpees. We did three rounds. The Pax was angry after that, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.
All right, everyone. It’s time for the Festivus feats of strength. Each member would duck walk with hands behind our back and try to knock over each Pax. Using your hands is illegal and you must stay inbounds. Last man “standing” wins. Let’s rumble!! Some opted out and then chaos and cheating ensued. Fudd was the last duck standing and is the 2024 champ. I am making a donation to the Human Fund on Fudd’s behalf! Chum, getting dumped on his face during the feats of strength, ended up crying.
We then circled up for some Mary. We did Presses, LBCs & Flutters with the Bell.
After circling up for prayer, we had coffee and for the Festivus meal I brought some black & white cookies (see, the key to eating a black-and-white cookie is you wanna get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. And yet still somehow, racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie… all our problems would be solved) and chocolate eclairs that were from the top of the trash, above the rim, on a magazine and still had the dolly on!
Chum, whether still confused by the SSH or from taking the biggest fall, was not feeling well:
Chum: I don’t feel so good.
Pax: What’s wrong?
Chum: My stomach. I think it was that cookie.
Gypsy: The black-and-white?
Chum: Yeah.
Gomer: Not getting along?
Chum: I think I got David Duke and Farrakhan down there.
Seymore: Well, if we can’t look to the cookie, where can we look?
Chum: Oh, my stomach! I feel like I’m gonna throw up!
White Deer: Wait. What about your vomit streak?
Chum: I know! I haven’t thrown up since June 29, 1980!Another Festivus in the books. Until next year when I am allowed to use the word “Annual”…
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Soft and Wet
We ran a little over 3 miles including a quarter pounder with merkins, plank jacks, mountain climbers and SSH, two rounds of partner bus loop runs with HRM and three hundred yard sprints. We left our mark on the Short Pump Elementary football field.
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Lighthouse takes the lead!
While I need the additional miles, the main reason for running with Lighthouse at Brunch Club is to do this post and get Lighthouse to win for the most posts in 2024. Note that he has no desire to win and probably has a dozen other Brunchclub runs with Gypsy that no one recorded. But he should win. He deserves it. And then he gets to go for most Q’s in 2025!!!
3.2 miles pre Gridiron.
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Conquering Nakatomi Plaza
Come out to Heartbreak, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…
Sixteen warriors came out to Heartbreak Ridge and most regret it. According to Argyle the former limo driver and now Quioccasin Middle bus driver, it went something like this:
Warmups behind the goalposts of SSH, Ukrainian Soldiers, Helicopters, Arm Circles, Flutters and LBCS. A couple stragglers come in during warmup. Welcome to the party pal!
Head to base of the hill. Ten up and downs on your own. Pax are already tired of this routine. I think I heard someone grumble at the top: Oh, you’re in charge? Well, I got some bad news for you *Whitesnake*, from up here it doesn’t look like you’re in charge of jack shit. (10 hill climbs)
Partner up. Try to find a partner who saw too many movies as a child. Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he’s John Wayne, Rambo, Marshal Dillon. One runs and the other does an exercise, switch. Box cutters, Overhead claps, Merkins, Burpees, Squats. (BOMBS) (15)
Time to sneak through an air duct. Bear crawl up the hill, run back. Two times. I’m just a fly in the ointment, The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass. (17)
Find a new partner. Bombs made out of C4 so four C exercises: Calf Raises, reverse Crunches, Carolina drydocks, a lbCs. (21).
I could tell it was time to do something new. The man is hurting! He is alone, tired, and he hasn’t seen diddly-squat from anybody down here. Why don’t I wake up and smell what I am shoveling? I listen and so we 7’s up and down the hill (of course). HRM at the top and Burpees at the bottom. (28).
Wanting to know what a TV dinner feels like, we do two more airducts (bear crawl up, run back) (30)
5 more flights to go. 5 up and downs on your own. (35)
And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.
But wait, the hostages are on the roof! One more to the top, shoot your machine gun (Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho) to scare the hostages back down the stairs and head back to the flag. “Go fuck yourself Whitesnake” was the mood.
Back at the flag, we had a few minutes for some Mary. Hammers, Heals to Heaven and some stretching ended the morning. Wasn’t that fun?
Announcements: The Bridge this Saturday, Upchuck leading and reach out to him to join. Firehouse Subs at noon today. Gomer and Pigskin raising funds for the Mountain Medical Team with Friends of Barnabas in Honduras.
I was inspired by a reading at Church this past weekend from Luke 3. It is about John the Baptist (McClane) and quotes as it is written in Isiah:
“A voice of one calling in the wilderness,
‘Prepare the way for the Lord,
make straight paths for him.
5 Every valley shall be filled in,
every mountain and hill made low.
The crooked roads shall become straight,
the rough ways smooth.
6 And all people will see God’s salvationPray that every mountain and hill is made low. Especially for Mary, Molly, Fireman Ed and Gypsy.
Thanks for everyone who came out to Heartbreak today and some for the first time in a while. You are always welcome and it does not always suck. And one more thing:
Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!
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Bright something or other
I posted a route last night and then mumbled it to a few others before we ran. Then I short circuited and led a few of us down a wrong turn that worked out in the end. Others did the route correctly or walked their own route.
I’m so stupid
Pax: Stupid-foolish, gullible, doltish, dumbbell, lamebrain…
Shut up!
Pax: Shut up – silence, hush, sit on it, can it…
With excitement like this, who is needing enemas?
(And scene).
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Say Cheese!!
Five regulars and a FNG ran 4 miles this morning in our successful quest for the Wellesley tunnel. We did some warmups in the lot near the Gazebo first and then hit the tunnel and stopped at the tennis courts.
We did one round of H. 20 count of an exercise at each point and 5 burpees in the middle cross—and you need to cross after each exercise. Started with the 5 burpees and then four exercises were dips, WWII, Merkins and Squats. Total of 25 burpees.
Roger Roger took us out a new paved trail to extend the running part. Ended up 5 minutes late but no real complaints.
FNG Brandon enjoys photography as a hobby and is now known as Cheese.
Prayers for Molly, Mary and Fireman Ed.