Author: Whitesnake

  • The Haunting of The Old Hundred!

    ”Who is this guy?” was soon followed by even weirder looks after I took out the Ghost Flag and stole the Q from Purple Rain.

    After a mosey around the large bus loop we circled up for a little disclaimer and some warmups of Helicopters, Arm Circles, Ukrainian Soldiers, DQs, LBCs, Flutters and Merkins.

    Taking from Attila’s playbook, I took out a park of cards to determine the kettlebell exercises. Clubs were Curls, Spades-Squats, Hearts-overHead presses and Diamonds-Da swings. Face cards=ten, Diamonds=15, face value for everything else with a 5 minimum and 2 jokers for ten burpees each. Lots of math involved. Total of 105 reps of each plus twenty burpees.

    With 15 minutes left we did another lap of the bus loop with a shout of “we don’t run at Kettlebells” from the Pax. And then we did a Lindsey of Overhead Pulls and Sit and Press. (30/10, 25/15, etc until 10/30).
    Circled back up for a little Mary of Freddie Mercuries, APDs and Heals to Heaven.

    Music playing the entire time and Mary turning into The Funny Bone are some nice touches at The Old Hundred.

    Announcements included Hermey going to the Bridge on 11/30 and encouraging others plus some secret SOJ meeting at a rodeo down south.

    Prayers for Orange Crush’s friend Andy, Dumar’s dad, Roger Roger’s wife, Fudd’s sister Mary and Fireman Ed.

    Thank you for letting me take over. Be on the lookout for a Purple Ghost Rain at an AO near you!

  • Where are the Goochland kids?

    Six of Henrico’s best woke up to rain and still came out to The Deep. Goochland stayed in bed. Blue Moon must have spent all night dancing with Tatar to “Hold Back the Rain” from Duran Duran.

    We started with a run past the tomatoes and followed the path all the way to the back playground blacktop. We circled up and did the same themed warmup from the first meeting at The Deep: ten warm up exercises followed by escalating burpees (ending at ten). Warm ups included SSH, IW, DQ, Flutters, Reverse Crunches, Hammers, Helicopters, Arm Circles (forward and backward) and LBCs. The first exercise on the ground, flutters, brought groans as it got us all wet as I forgot to squeegee off the blacktop beforehand. Sorry, not sorry.

    Then it was Dora time after partnering up. 100 merkins, 200 squats, 300 lbcs, partner running the long way of the blacktop. We wrapped up our blacktop time with four corners with 20 HRMs, 30 jump squats, 40 single count lunges and 50 SSH.

    We then moseyed to the bus loop for a triple check of pole smokers, hammers and a bus loop lap and then moseyed back to start and it was time. A little more than 1 1/2 miles working our way around the school.

    Lunch Tuesday at Firehouse Subs, Noon.

    Thank you to all who served our country. And prayers to our F3 brothers and families fighting cancer.

  • Brunch in Bentley

    Another pre-Gridiron run and we found some new territory. Went South to Leisfeld, then North on Gayton and then went into the Bentley subdivision for something new (and to make it 3 miles). Eventually ended up back on Pouncey Track and headed home. 3.04 miles in 26:13 for 8:37 a mile. A nice warmup for a Tatar Gridiron where we mistakenly assumed there would not be much running.

  • Brunch for one

    It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to
    Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
    You would cry too if it happened to you

    Nobody knows where Lighthouse has gone
    Gypsy decided to snub
    Why were they holding hands
    When they are supposed to be at Brunchclub?

    It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to
    Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
    You would cry too if it happened to you

    Playin’ my records, keep dancing all night
    But leave me alone for a while
    ‘Til anyone is running with me
    I’ve got no reason to smile

    It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to
    Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
    You would cry too if it happened to you

    At 7AM, Lighthouse walked through the door
    Acting like a King
    Oh, what a birthday week surprise
    Boy that really stings

    It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to
    Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
    You would cry too if it happened to you

  • Grab my balls

    On beautiful Saturday morning, twelve gentleman went to Gridiron, had some fun, and left without any new injuries. That is a successful morning.

    We started with some warmups in the new fancy parking lot then moseyed to the covered bus loop for some smokers and a timer of burpees (5). Ended up with way too many smokers.

    Hit the basketball court for a couple rounds of four corners. First round was 25 HRM, Jump Squats, Hammers and Plank Jacks. Second round of 25 Merkins, WWIIs, Mountain Climbers and finished with 53 SSH.

    All of this was just to get us near the Tennis Courts. After we moseyed around the courts a bit, I took out my balls and we played Dodgeball.

    Basic dodgeball rules except when you are hit or your ball is caught, you have to run to the other end and do 3 burpees before returning. If a team ends up with no one in the court, that team loses. We eventually changed it to a 5 burpee penalty and at the end, moved to if you are out you are out. Each team got one win. Highlights included Attila with a one handed catch of a ball that previously hit a teammate and Piglet with a winning catch of the same. Those young kids get all the glory. Everyone helped grab my balls at the end and then we moseyed back to the start for some stretching & burpees.

    Prayers for Fireman Ed and Fudd’s sister Mary. Coffeteria at Starbucks afterwards was fun as always.

    My week of Q’s has ended. Someone else fill up that Q sheet for next week!

  • Was that Doozy?

    The assigned route was a familiar one running through senior lot to Hickoryridge then left onto Falconbridge, left onto Raintree, right to Ridgefield, left onto Cox, left onto Brookmont, right on Pump and then up to John Rolfe to Glen Eagles and then back home on Old Prescott. 4.7 miles total for those who did the entire thing. Some never left and did workouts around the school, some went back after Brookmont and maybe did an extra lap around the school, and then there is Doozy.

    He was not there when we started but we thought we passed him on Glen Eagles–we were not really sure. He was not there when we finished but his car was there so we knew he was around. And then he showed up during the COT. Credit to him for showing up when it sounds like he did not want to get out of bed and he pushed himself to come and do some walking.

    Prayers for Tanner, Molly, Fireman Ed, Mary, Gaudi’s wife and all the family members and health care workers involved to bring comfort and good health.

  • Gunter gleiben glauchen globen.

    Gunter gleiben glauchen globen.

    Another great rock show in the back lot of Godwin. Wig participation was 13 strong, although some only lasted a few minutes until the heat or bad tasting rat hair resulted in a change. I was able to grab a setlist from the stage and it included the following:

    Rock of Ages: Def Leppard. Warmups to this classic (where the backblast title comes from for you Boomers or 20/30 somethings).

    Youth Gone Wild: Skid Row. Not sure the song would work as well with “Middle Aged Men Gone Wild”. We finished warming up to this song. Included some Flutter Kicks where EF Hutton’s kilt caught some extra glances from Attila.

    TNT: AC/DC. Curls beginning with the “Oi!” and alternating with Lawn Mowers, taking a little break during the guitar solo.

    Talk Dirty To Me: Poison. ‘Cause, baby, we’ll be, At the Godwin, near the old man’s Ford, Doing High Pulls, ‘Til I’m screamin’ for more, then do Burpees, Lock the cellar door, And, baby Talk dirty to me

    Balls to the Wall: Accept. No Bell. Wall sits with air presses or Elaines and then Walls to the Ball toe taps during the Chorus. What came first, this song or Pigskin doing his first Balls to the Wall?

    Love in an elevator: Aerosmith. Teapots (single leg deadlift) and Squats (going down…)

    Drop Dead Legs: Van Halen. More leg work. Swings and Lunges.

    You’ve Got Another Thing Comin’: Judas Priest. Partner up, one does Bear Crawls and Bernie’s back while the other does presses. Did this two times each.

    House of Pain, Faster Pussycat. I’m not trying to fake it, And Whitesnake ain’t the one to blame, There’s Sit and Presses In my house of pain. I didn’t write these pages, And my script’s been rearranged, Rotate to Triceps, In my house of pain

    Heaven: Warrant. Circle back up. For this final song and power ballad, hold the bell in rifle carry as long as you can while we rotated through ten reps of favorite kettle bell exercise. Rushed through this at the end but got to hear all two key changes in this 1989 hit.

    Thanks for everyone who made it out today. Thirteen is great numbers for Circus. Come on back!

    Prayers for Fudd’s sister Mary, Roger Roger’s wife Molly, Faceplant’s wife, Fireman Ed and Gaudi’s family.

    Didn’t play any GnR until coffeteria but will end with this great quote from Axel:

    “I’m not God but if I were God, ¾ of you would be girls, and the rest would be pizza and beer.”

  • It only took ten years!

    On the eve of his ten year anniversary (according to Big Data), Attila (aka Groh) made his first appearance at WTH. Even Centrum Silver, our guest from Roanoke, was here for his second time!

    Attila and Pigskin went off in the dark to work on their grips while the rest of us went for a 3 mile run that included Short Pump park, some warmups and then a couple triple checks (Step Ups, Dips, Lap: Balls to the Wall, Incline Merkins, Reverse Lap). We then went back to the start and lapped the school to get to 3 miles. On the way, we found the kettlebell couple and gave them some monkey humpers in salute.

    Prayers for Fudd’s sister and family, Fireman Ed, Faceplant’s sister and Gaudi’s wife and family.

    Heavy Metal Kettle tomorrow! We can all look as cool as Mr. Rogers for one morning.

  • The Hoe’s of Westhoe

    This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental

    Scene: Secret meeting of the wives and girlfriends

    Mrs. Handshake: Welcome to everyone.  I am excited to learn more about you and today’s workout.

    Mrs. Whitesnake: I wonder if Whitesnake had a good workout with Asswhipe and Bloodysnot?

    Ms. Hutton: Don’t forget Dipshit and Atomicwedgie. 

    Mrs. Lighthouse: Ha!  I also don’t think they know what a merkin is.

    Mrs. Offshore: I am just hoping they continue to keep their bromance to themselves.

    Ms. Bumble/Horneydo: Nice to meet you all. What are you talking about. And by the way, I’m exhausted after all those Fs.  So is Horneydo, that’s why he missed.

    Mrs. Whitesnake: I heard they had eight people. Is that as big as it gets?

    Mr. Attila: That’s what she said.

    Mrs. Whitesnake: Yes, I did.  How do I know if it is big?

    Senorita Frog: Ask Handshake’s Mom.

    Handshake’s Mom: No comment.

    Mrs. Handshake: He likes calling himself a Clydesdale but that’s far from the truth.

    Mrs. Offshore: Let’s focus on what they claim they did this morning.

    Mrs. Whitesnake: I am sure they started with some warmup of jumping jacks and situps but with dumb names so they think they are cool.

    Mrs. Pigskin: The only thing I ever hear at home is how my husband kicks all your guy’s butts.

    (everyone else nods their heads)

    Mrs. Whitesnake: Speaking of Pigskin, there is a football field there.  My guess is they ran up and down the field doing some sort of exercise.

    Mrs. Lighthouse: I did hear a complaint about a double quarter pounder?  Could that be an exercise or just the E Coli?

    Ms. Bumble: Did someone say something about being pounded?

    Mrs. Handshake: Ask your mom.

    Ms. Bumble: huh?

    Ms. Hutton: At some point, I think there will be a hill and burpees involved.  But only after Crustyshorts and Shart finish getting pounded.

    Mrs. Shart: What?

    Mrs. Handshake: I am guessing this is when Handshake starts complaining loudly.

    Mrs. Offshore:  Probably but its hard when you are sore

    Mrs. Attila: That’s what she said

    Scene.

    Prayers for Faceplant’s wife, Fireman Ed, Fudd’s sister and all their families and the medical staffs involved.

    Thanks for joining me during my birthday week.

  • Whitesnake’s Birthday Week Conversation

    Whitesnake’s Birthday Week Conversation

    Curt Autry: After a long summer, fall has hit Central Virginia, and soon it will be Halloween.  With it will come MILLIONS of fall time tourists. Here with some tips on what they should check out, is our Richmond correspondent — Whitesnake!  Whitesnake, what are some places folks should check out if they’re looking for a Fall outing?

    Whitesnake: If you are looking to fall for something on Monday, I know the place for you, The Deep. Opened in 1849 by Zebedee Fist, it has become super spooky.  It has scared away everyone who lives near the AO, all Southsiders and the Gypsies.  This Strange place has everything: darkness, trip hazards, the Hairy Nuckol, every normal person from Goochland, a group of Tomatoes who won’t give their names to Gomer and a haunted farmhouse.

    Curt Autry: maybe we should try to think a little more family-oriented, you know?

    Whitesnake: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Yessssss! I know just the place for you. Richmond’s hottest club is [ deep-voiced ] Heartbreak Ridge! Hosted by Horneydo on Tuesday’s, this place has everything: stories about the one guy having sex, a worthless exercise whether we do it normal or reverse, and a lifetime supply of Jergens. And if that’s not enough, you can get surprised on the dance floor by Bi-swampy Seniors.

    Curt Autry: What’s a Bi-swampy Senior?

    Whitesnake: It’s that thing when Senior Frog either sprints out of the darkness to the start of the AO or sounds like he is dying.

    Curt Autry: Let’s get back on track. I think a lot of people are in the area for the leaves and they might be looking for something a little different.

    Whitesnake: Got it.  If leaving is what they want, the hottest club you never stay at is WaThoHuk!  Named for the hero Jim Thorpe, this Wednesday-only club has everything: an old man wandering around the school looking for dip, runners with no lights playing Frogger, an out of town guest who had no idea running is involved, and everyone’s hottest couple Benedict & Arnold.

    Curt Autry: I don’t know them, can you introduce me?

    Whitesnake: That is hard to do, as they only show up once every two months unannounced and run past the group in the middle of the workout.

    Curt Autry: I think the club you are describing might not be for everybody. What about this upcoming Thursday on Halloween, is there anything more friendly sounding?

    Whitesnake: Of course, if you are looking for a friendly place to stick that metal object you’ve been hiding in the house, Circus Maximus is the club for you. Discovered by a walking and talking wet fart, this hidden gem gives new meaning to the question: Should I murder Gomer for inviting me to F3? Featuring the 3rd Annual Heavy Metal Kettle this Halloween, this hotspot has matching merkins for your head or balls, every 80’s singer named Stephen or Steven, and Offshore’s hit song “Hot for Coffee”. And when you want to take a break from dancing, it has super tall benches that make you wish for a cigarette and someone small you can step on.

    Curt Autry: Whitesnake, I know Richmond has changed a lot but there’s gotta be a few upscale places for people to check out.

    Whitesnake:  If you are looking for an upscale place on Friday, the hottest morning club in town is Currahee! This place has everything: cul-de-sacs, roads that all look the same, a park that’s too dark to run, a triple enforced fence in case someone runs into it, and if you’re lucky, the stars from the hit movie “Lost Boys”!  Wait is that Kiefer Sutherland I see? Nope, but when Honeydo and I run together and get yelled at by some old lady, we pick a direction and don’t stop until we have run at least an hour.

    Curt Autry: I still don’t think we’ve found the right place for me, can you find us something on Saturday for Dads?

    Whitesnake: I got the perfect place for you–Gridiron!  Located in an abandoned softball complex, this was the original AO and finally answers the question: Do we have to? This place has everything: the constant noise of paddles hitting something sweaty, Attila’s big beast, shots of Scotch, Johnsonville making you drink out of a puddle, and some Saturday’s, Pigskin’s entire family.  While there is no bouncer, don’t mess with the gentle looking guy named Chum Bucket.

    Curt Autry:Now, I know that you have tried your best, Whitesnake, and I just want to thank you for sharing those Halloween and fall tips, buddy.  I hope to explore some of these with you.

    Whitensnake: Yey me!!