Author: Whitesnake

  • Holding in a shart

    That was me for 4.5 miles. Proof that you can achieve anything you set your mind to!

    The other seven also ran or rucked their way with the main route being Pump to Church and then down and up three neighborhoods: Sterlingwood, Chapelwood and Lake Lorraine. This route proved that Church Road is the high point as all three neighborhoods, 2 on 1 side of Church and 1 on the other, started downhill and of course, ended uphill.

    I successfully raced home while most everyone else did coffee and donuts at Dunkin.

  • “I smell like dog piss”

    EF Hutton got his Summer Tour point today and got to enjoy the aroma of Short Pump dog park. He came from Broga, so his odor might have nothing to do with the fine aged urine we ran by this morning.

    We ran 3.35 miles total today, did 11’s of Derkins and Dips and one round of running the bases with the home plater timer doing 10 burpees and exercises at each base of WW2, Squats and Flutters.

    The backblast title is the text I got from Hutton during his drive home.

    Labor Day convergence at Nuckols Farm Elementary at 7AM. This will be a new Monday AO to be named later (Nuckols-Deep, the Fox Den, Britny Fox, Funny Farm,…)

  • Labor Day Convergence 2024

    Labor Day Convergence 2024

    As the Summer Tour ends and Pickleball tournament injuries subside, please come to the RVA Labor Day Convergence at a new Monday Short Pump AO (named to be revealed later). 7AM launch, Monday September 2nd, at Nuckols Farm Elementary off North Gayton Road. Only 20 minutes from Westchester Commons and 20 minutes from U of R, it is located behind Greengate and Strange’s Florist.

    Whitesnake (and others) will perform and there will be snacks.

    Spread the word and hope to see you there!

  • Sorry folks! Park’s closed..

    Seven vacationers showed up to Wally World looking for some fun. Instead they got this:

    Warmups in the end zone near the Ridge (SSH, IW, Ukrainian Soldiers, Merkinsm LBCs). Explained this workout was somehow Vacation themed. Started with the Jelly of the month club: 12 count of a different exercise every ten yards with lunges in between. Nice slow pace to start the morning. Exercises included WWIIs, Merkins, HRM, Diamond Merkins, Hammers, Flutters, V-ups, Squats some other stuff I don’t remember and we ended with 12 burpees as a preview to the next exercise. Lots of good mumble chatter. Handshake said he likes it faster. So…

    Are you serious Clark?? We went the other way and created a deconstructed burpee every 25 yards: 20 merkins, 20 jump squats, 20 groiners and then 20 burpees. The mumble chatter seemed to end. There were some glaring looks. Some wanted to quit. Well I’ll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun! I’m gonna have fun, and you’re gonna have fun, We’re all gonna have so much fuckin’ fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles!!

    Next we reenacted the crash from Vacation by running up the hill, and doing 15 HRM in the infield dirt. Pinto stabbed his brain.

    Next we partnered up. Timer ran the bases three times, pointing and saying “Big Ben” at home every time. Other partner did an exercise. We did this three times. Group mood improved with lots of shouts of “Big Ben”. Exercises were Flutters, 10 WWII/pencil/1 Merkin, and something else I don’t remember. I was too distracted whistling “Zio-A-Dee-Doo-Dah” out of my asshole.

    We took to Holiday Road (the track). Ran 1/4, did some bear crawls, Senior Frog found a dead bird (Frog: Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state? Mr. Rogers: No, sir I don’t. Frog: Well….it’s probably pretty stiff”). We then did bunny hops, ran some more with high knees and then butt kickers to the next set of bleachers.

    We did 3 rounds of 20 dips and 20 bench kicks while imagining Christie Brinkley driving or swimming by. Senior Frog really got into this. Do you ever “bop your baloney”?, he asked.

    Had a few minutes of Mary with Freddies, APDs and some Dead Man hangs. Whitesnake: “I think it’d be best if everyone went home…before things get worse”. Lighthouse: “WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here. We’re at the threshold of hell!”

    Good to have Mr. Rogers back from his South Carolina vacation and Pigskin back from his European vacation. Not sure if Mr. Rogers got see a giant ball of twine or if Pigskin won his cruise on the gameshow “Pig in a Poke” but they both had a good time.

  • Ouchtown, population: you bro!

    Six members of Globo Gym went to Timberwolf for Westhoe led Dodgeball training.

    After some warmups of SSH, Ukrainian Soldiers, DQ, Dead man hang, Cherry Pickers, Freddie’s, LBC and Merkins, we headed to the tennis courts and did some line tracers and then split into two teams: Average Rosie’s (Rosie, Meatball and Rudy) and the Purple Whitesnakes (Whitesnake, Crabgrass and Tzatziki).

    Special rules for F3 Dodgeball: you get hit or they catch your ball, you run to the 3rd court and do 5 burpees and run back to get in. Win by having the other team all off the court doing burpees or running back and forth.

    Game 1: victory to Purple Whitesnakes. During this game we went from 3 burpees penalty to 5.

    in between we do 20 squats and arm circles

    Game 2: victory to Purple Whitesnakes. I ask if they want to switch teams while laughing.

    in between we do 20 flutters. By now, everyone has done 30-40 burpees.

    Game 3: once you are out you are out (after doing 5 burpees). The Average Rosie’s soon find themselves all three vs Crabgrass. But Crabgrass is no beginner. He is from Purple Whitesnakes! Soon Meatball and Rudy find themselves doing burpees and it is Rosie vs Crabgrass. They limit themselves to the Forecourt while the rest of us get them the balls. Back and forth they go and finally, Rosie and the Average Rosies are victorious.

    Rosie: No one makes me bleed my own blood.

    We all have one sore arm, got 1.3 miles of running in and did 40-60 burpees. Only one bad crotch shot and no bad head shots. 3 v 3 dodgeball was fun and a lot of work. Thanks for letting me lead.

    Westhoe take over continues tomorrow. Don’t forget the race on Saturday morning or getting your 10th anniversary shirt or hat. Ultimate and Pickleball tournaments coming up. Sign up now!!

  • Way too early takeover

    Gypsy did not audit my clown car meeting time and so we arrived 20 minutes early. I also parked us in the wrong lot. But that allowed me to scout a little and find out that the football field is closed and the hill has not been mowed in a month. No Die Hard for these Southside warriors.

    We warmed up in the upper lot behind the school with some SSH, IW, Ukrainian Hammers, LBCs and Merkins. Then we went down the stairs and ran around the track to the baseball field.

    We spread out to each base with home being a ten burpee timer, with exercises at each base. Exercises includes Squats, LBCs, Flutters and then the second round had HRM, WWII & Hammers.

    The extra big outfield was in good shape so we used the light poles and did a quarter pounder with 25 merkins, 50 squats, 75 single count mountain climbers and 100 SSH. Bernie’s back after each.

    I decided against a double (there was rejoicing) and we went back to the track and the stairs up. We then headed to the tennis courts.

    After a round of line tracers, we did two rounds of 4 corners: 10 merkins, 20 squats, 30 Lbcs, & 40 smurf jacks. Second round was something like HRM, Hammers, jump squats & SSH.

    We went back to the start and found the runners for COT. Great to meet many of you and thanks for letting me lead. Westhoe takeover all week. Can I find a good hill for Diehard???

    Homegrown Half/10K/5K this Saturday. Sign up for the Pickleball tournament and if you want a 10yr Anniversary shirt of hat, get your order in today!

  • Here I Go Again!

    14 runners took about a dozen different routes around my beloved UR campus. Route started up Richmond Way past Wood Hall where Gomer and I lived in 89/90. Then we ran by the football Stadium that did not exist back then and wrapped around the Stadium & went past the Robins Center where we saw us beat Kenny Anderson and Georgia Tech back in Dec 1990. A downed power line/tree work on College Road put some of us on the trail to the Greek Theatre while others ignored safety instructions from the police and squeezed by. I think I saw the Connells in the Greek Theatre back then but that is hazy. More hazy than the Beast Light we drank. Many of us ended up back on the intended route down Crenshaw, past the great Apartment 1205 (numbered something else now), and then down to River Road and back up the bat cave (which also did not exist back then). From there, some went left through the female side of campus (not true anymore), some went straight to the Commons, many did a lap or two around the lake and everyone made it back on time. Campus looked great as usual. More hilly then I remember.

    Prayers for Sippy and his surgery next Monday.

    Westhoe takeover continues. Remember to set your alarms! Homegrown Half/10K/5K this Saturday. Order your shirts and/or hats for the 10K. And we need more Pickleball Tourney signups.

  • Short Pump Olympiad

    14 of the greatest athletes in the world were in Paris while at Short Pump Middle we had a dozen knuckleheads, one guest from Charlotte (Clipboard) and a young FNG (Forrest). But this group of misfits rose to the occasion at my Olympic themed Q.

    We circled up in the parking lot and did some warmups of SSH, IW, Ukarnian Soldiers, LBCs & Merkins. All done in cadence and stopping at random numbers to keep everyone on their toes. We then moseyed to the track for the first event.

    4×4 relay. Three teams and we did it three times, rotating positions. The relay started with bear crawls, 2nd leg did crabwalks, 3rd did broad jump burpees and the 4th ran the rest of the way (3/4 of the track). Everyone did SSH when it was not their turn. This is how young Forrest got his name. He is 15 and runs cross country and track for Deep Run. He ran the first heat and won by half a lap. We only did this three times as the fourth rotation would have had Attila and White Deer running and we would still be watching them if we let it happen.

    We moved to the swimming pool (parking lot) and did a 4×100 relays Dora style. Find a partner, run back and forth 25 yards while you and your partner did 100 freestyle (merkins), 100 backstroke (2 count flutters), 100 butterfly (wide merkins) and 100 breaststroke (HRM). That was a lot of merkins.

    We then hit the volleyball court (next parking lot) and did some volleyball practice. dig practice: 21 copperhead squats, Set practice: 21 squats with air press, block practice: 21 jump squats with arms in the air.

    If you were not aware, @pigskin is in Europe for two weeks and part of his travels includes negotiating with the IOC to bring his parkour routine to the 2028 Olympics. In his honor, we moseyed to the school loading dock and combined his parkour routine with biking. 3 rounds with 20 two count Freddies. Random shouts of “parkour!” added to the festivities.

    Then this “Dream Team” went to the bball courts and played 4 corners: 10 burpees, 20 WW2, 30 Plank Jacks and 40 Box Cutters.

    Time was running out on our Olympic dreams. We moseyed back to the football field and did a warm-down beast adding six of an exercise every twenty yards (and back): arm circles forward (36 total), reverso (30 total), squats (24 total), hillbillies (18 total), V ups (12 total) and burpees (6).

    COT and Atilla took us out. Prayers for Forrest and his family. They’ve been through a lot lately and Clipboard is a family friend in town to help. Clipboard was paying back the help he received from them when he had his own trials in life and he brought out young Forrest this morning. He sets a great example for all of us.

    Big group for coffeteria as Pinto and Gomer joined us. Gomer hit up two coffeteria’s today to show off his knee brace.

    Thanks for letting me lead.

  • H is for Humid

    Five of Short Pumps finest found the Wellesley Tunnel and the secret tennis courts to do some exercises up and down the “H”. During the search we did some warmups in the lot next to the lake: Ukrainian soldiers, DQ, Helicopters, arm circles, lbc and merkins.

    When we got to the courts we started with 5 burpees at the middle of the “H” and then 25 WWII at every end of the “H” (100 total) with another 5 burpees every time you crossed the middle. All OYO. Some crossed the middle every time and did 20 burpees and some did not.

    With better instructions we did it again but with a total of 50 merkins and crossing in between every set with 5 burpees. Math was involved to divide 50 merkins by 4.

    We went back to the tunnel and did balls to the tunnel wall. The tunnel is round with curved ridged steel walls. We did 5 toe taps in cadence and all got down safely.
    We headed back via the lake path and we all got over 3 miles and one extra minute for free.

    Go get your 10th anniversary shirt, do the home grown half/10k, the ultimate tournament and/or the pickleball tournament. All in the next month.

    And go listen to some Whitesnake!

  • Two minute warning!

    Six tough guys did an arms focused Kettlebell workout. It was 70s and sunny when we started our warmups of White Deer SSH, helicopters, arm circles, HRM, LBCs, & Merkins.

    We then followed the lights and did a routine of 12 reps of six exercises and then a lap around the bus loop. Exercises were overhead presses, lawn mowers (each arm), curls, upright rows, halos and overhead triceps. We did 3 rounds of this.

    Everyone then found a partner and we did 3 rounds of overhead pulls while the partner ran to the end of the school and back.

    We moved to a triple check of curls, overhead presses and a lap around the courtyard. And then did another of mowers (L/R) and dips on the picnic tables.

    Back to the flag for 5 minutes of Mary. After 3 minutes of presses, hammers and Freddie’s, White Deer sounded the 2 minute warning (and the need for a change of a shorts). We then finished with reverse crunches, flutters and chuckles.