Author: Whitesnake

  • Don’t worry, we will be gentle with you

    A beautiful morning at WTH, the best 5:30am Wednesday workout in Westhoe. According to all the ATM machines we ran by, we did something like the following:

    Ran to the Wells Fargo at Pump and Three Chopt. Did some warmups in the parking lot that I was able to block off with cones and some ride from the State Fair. We then ran to the parking lot off Westgate for 11s of merkins and jump squats. We needed help counting and having German on one end and Spanish on the other did not do the trick.

    We then headed to Flo’s parking lot and did touch a light pole with decending burpees starting at 5.

    Running late, we headed back behind the Dunkin, through the Truist and Publix lot and cut through the dark park trail. Pinto did not need his rape whistle.

    We got back to the Flag late and after 3.8 miles.

    Lunch next Tuesday at Fireman Ed’s sub place.

    Prayers for Mary and Fudd.

    Thanks for letting me lead. Have a great Wednesday!

  • No More Mr. Nice Guy

    Today was (Alice) Cooper day. I warned the Pax that today would suck and I delivered! School is no longer Out for Summer which means cooler weather which was welcomed.

    We first ran to the Gazebo and did warmups of IW, Ukrainian Soldiers, DQ, LBCs and Merkins. Then we ran past the Golf Galaxy and deep into the bowels of the newest West Broad Village development. As if we were Caught in a Dream.

    Here is where we did a running version of the Cooper-Welcome to My Nightmare: 10 Burpees, 10 Squats, 10 Merkins and then a lap around a large parking median. Then 9s, then 8s, etc. Lighthouse let me have it with the Poison Burpees: “Your cruel device, Your blood like ice, One look could kill, My pain, your thrill”

    We finished the 55 Burpees, 55 Squats and 55 Merkins and headed back to the Gazebo.

    We still had time to further Feed my Frankenstein so we then did 3 sets of 20 Dips at the Gazebo and then headed back to the Flag. Mileage was a little short (Pinto shouted “Hey Stoopid!”) so we ran the bus loop two times to get over 3 miles.

    Good to see Brick Back, (the Man Behind the Mask). Also great to hear Pigskin discuss what 71 feels like:

    “Lines form on my face and my hands
    Lines form on the left and right
    I’m in the middle
    The middle of life
    I’m a boy and I’m a man
    I’m (mentally) eighteen and I like it”

    X Anniversary coming up. Reach out to a Pax you have not seen in a while and get them to Dogpile 7AM on 9/21.

  • The Deep from start to finish

    I never thought “The Deep” would refer to the pre-AO pile made near a tree or the trouble Handshake’s shorts were in during the 5 minutes of Mary.

    Between the two events, ten warriors helped kick off the new AO on a beautiful cool Monday morning. We met in the front lot and then moseyed to the bus loop. We did half a lap and then circled up in the middle to the loop. After the typical “the grass is wet” bitching, we warmed up with SSH, Ukrainian Soldiers, IW, Copperhead Squats, Helicopters and then we got on our six and then got up again (groans) and moseyed to your mom’s favorite part: lots of thick polls. We had fun with poll smokers while the first smoker did bear crawls past the next nine smokers. There were enough polls for everyone to do bear crawls twice. That was fun?

    We then ran past the front of the school to the far corner and did 11’s on the hill: HRM and Jump squats, starting with ten HRM at the bottom and then jump squats at the sidewalk at the end of the hill. There is a small obstacle in the middle of the hill that we learned to run around.

    It was then time for a history lesson. We ran past the front of the school, took a left on Gayton Hills and found the original Nuckols Farm site. Formerly known as Locust Grove, the property was home to the Nuckols family from 1849 to 1972. While surrounded by newer neighborhoods, the county has made this a protected park. Hard to see it all in the darkness but we explored it with a triple check of WWII, Burpees and touch a tree. While the grass had some dips and branches, we all survived.

    We then moseyed back to the flag for 5 minutes of Mary: flutters, freddies, lbcs, hammers and crunchy frogs. Handshake then sprinted to his car which added to the 1.7 miles of territory we covered this morning.

    Thanks for coming out for the first 5:30AM workout at the Deep. Hope to see you again in the future.

    Announcements:

    10 year on 20th/21st. Events Friday night (Snuffs) and Saturday. See slack for details.

    Breaking Bread has an opening this month. Talk to Oyster to help out.

    Tomorrow 9/10, lunch at Fireman Ed’s (Firehouse Subs). A Jets victory night will make Fireman Ed happier than he was after the Spiders football no-show on Saturday.

    Heist is leading at the Bridge this weekend. 6AM clown car at the Westchester Commons Wawa. Reach out to him if you can make it.

  • Blame Splinter

    Blame Splinter

    On my 3rd year anniversary, I took the start to Splinter’s Q from Labor Day 2021 and gave these 55 great men and 2.0s the same experience.  We also had one FNG today (Mountie) and hopefully he makes it back like I did.

    We first moseyed to the back playground lot to start the morning.  After some poor disclaimers and then with the Q help of Heist and Tater, we warmed up with something like the following: 20 SSH in Cadence and then one Burpee OYO, 10 Imperial Walkers in Cadence and two Burpees OYO and continued all the way to ten Burpees OYO with 10 Ukrainian Solders and three Burpees, 10 Copperhead Squats and four Burpees, 10 Merkins and five Burpees, 15 Arm Circles and six Burpees, 25 LBC and seven Burpees, 10 WWII and eight Burpees,10 Freddies and nine Burpees and Dead Man Hang and ten Burpees.

    Many were ready for the Q to rotate but instead we partnered up and did a DORA of 100 HRM, 200 Squats and 300 LBCs, running the short length of the playground lot.  This was the end of the “Blame Splinter” section.

    After that we broke up into 3 groups.  Tater took his group to a fun hill on the West side of the school with an Ab focused workout.  Started with 25 Crunchy Frogs, 25 Freddie Mercury, 25 Mercury Freddies and 25 WWII.  Then did 7s of Get Up and Squats using the hill.  They finished with 25 side crunches each side, 20 V ups, 25 American Hammers and some stretching.

    Heist stayed at the playground lot.  They started with 11s using the hill next to the playground with Squats and WW2 with Bear Crawls up the hill and jogging down.  Then he found the pullup bars and benches and did a Triple check of Pullups, Dips and Timer fan to the middle of the soccer field and back.  They finished off with 4 corners prostitute style with 10 ww2, 20 merkins, 30 squats and 40 SSH.

    My lucky group went to the bus loop.  We started with a triple check of jump squats, merkins and the timer running to the end of the school and back.  When then did 4 corners around the school.  Started with 20 Flutters and then Bernie’d to the end of the school.  There we did 20 WII and then ran to the top of the hill at the other end of the school.  Here we did 20 Crunchy Frogs and then did some more when the walkers arrived.  Forgetting to get my phone from my car, we ran back to my car (to the joy and confusion of many) and then ran to the last corner of the school.  We took 3 trips up the hill (same hill used by Heist) via Bear Crawl and Crawl Bear back then ran or bear crawled the fourth time to be back on the playground lot.

    We joined in with Heists Four Corners for the 40 SSH, Tater’s group came flying in and soon we were all back together for some Mary.  We did some combination of American Hammers, LBCs, WWI, Flutters and who knows what else.  Numerama and Names, then I almost skipped Announcements, and Attila took us out.

    FNG Mountie used to work with Gomer and they reconnected recently.  He is from Canada (as you may guess) and lives nearby at West Broad Village.  Welcome Mountie!

    It was an honor to lead this morning.  Big thanks to Gomer for the invitation 3 years ago and to Splinter for unsuccessfully trying to kill me that day.  F3 has been a blessing mainly because I have been able to meet and get to know many of you.  Coffeteria today was great as always.

    What a fantastic way to christen The Deep which will be at Nuckols Farm every Monday at 5:30AM. Please help us get this rolling and join in over the next month.  Next week we will be two Nuckols at the Deep.

    F3 RVA Ten Year Anniversary celebration starts the evening of the 20th social with the 21st having a Convergence, Awards and a Family BBQ.  See Slack for all the details and signups.  Also, see Bodo’s Slack post on a 5K-The Lara Teague Curry Memorial.

    Have a great rest of your long weekend.

  • Holding in a shart

    That was me for 4.5 miles. Proof that you can achieve anything you set your mind to!

    The other seven also ran or rucked their way with the main route being Pump to Church and then down and up three neighborhoods: Sterlingwood, Chapelwood and Lake Lorraine. This route proved that Church Road is the high point as all three neighborhoods, 2 on 1 side of Church and 1 on the other, started downhill and of course, ended uphill.

    I successfully raced home while most everyone else did coffee and donuts at Dunkin.

  • “I smell like dog piss”

    EF Hutton got his Summer Tour point today and got to enjoy the aroma of Short Pump dog park. He came from Broga, so his odor might have nothing to do with the fine aged urine we ran by this morning.

    We ran 3.35 miles total today, did 11’s of Derkins and Dips and one round of running the bases with the home plater timer doing 10 burpees and exercises at each base of WW2, Squats and Flutters.

    The backblast title is the text I got from Hutton during his drive home.

    Labor Day convergence at Nuckols Farm Elementary at 7AM. This will be a new Monday AO to be named later (Nuckols-Deep, the Fox Den, Britny Fox, Funny Farm,…)

  • Labor Day Convergence 2024

    Labor Day Convergence 2024

    As the Summer Tour ends and Pickleball tournament injuries subside, please come to the RVA Labor Day Convergence at a new Monday Short Pump AO (named to be revealed later). 7AM launch, Monday September 2nd, at Nuckols Farm Elementary off North Gayton Road. Only 20 minutes from Westchester Commons and 20 minutes from U of R, it is located behind Greengate and Strange’s Florist.

    Whitesnake (and others) will perform and there will be snacks.

    Spread the word and hope to see you there!

  • Sorry folks! Park’s closed..

    Seven vacationers showed up to Wally World looking for some fun. Instead they got this:

    Warmups in the end zone near the Ridge (SSH, IW, Ukrainian Soldiers, Merkinsm LBCs). Explained this workout was somehow Vacation themed. Started with the Jelly of the month club: 12 count of a different exercise every ten yards with lunges in between. Nice slow pace to start the morning. Exercises included WWIIs, Merkins, HRM, Diamond Merkins, Hammers, Flutters, V-ups, Squats some other stuff I don’t remember and we ended with 12 burpees as a preview to the next exercise. Lots of good mumble chatter. Handshake said he likes it faster. So…

    Are you serious Clark?? We went the other way and created a deconstructed burpee every 25 yards: 20 merkins, 20 jump squats, 20 groiners and then 20 burpees. The mumble chatter seemed to end. There were some glaring looks. Some wanted to quit. Well I’ll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun! I’m gonna have fun, and you’re gonna have fun, We’re all gonna have so much fuckin’ fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles!!

    Next we reenacted the crash from Vacation by running up the hill, and doing 15 HRM in the infield dirt. Pinto stabbed his brain.

    Next we partnered up. Timer ran the bases three times, pointing and saying “Big Ben” at home every time. Other partner did an exercise. We did this three times. Group mood improved with lots of shouts of “Big Ben”. Exercises were Flutters, 10 WWII/pencil/1 Merkin, and something else I don’t remember. I was too distracted whistling “Zio-A-Dee-Doo-Dah” out of my asshole.

    We took to Holiday Road (the track). Ran 1/4, did some bear crawls, Senior Frog found a dead bird (Frog: Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state? Mr. Rogers: No, sir I don’t. Frog: Well….it’s probably pretty stiff”). We then did bunny hops, ran some more with high knees and then butt kickers to the next set of bleachers.

    We did 3 rounds of 20 dips and 20 bench kicks while imagining Christie Brinkley driving or swimming by. Senior Frog really got into this. Do you ever “bop your baloney”?, he asked.

    Had a few minutes of Mary with Freddies, APDs and some Dead Man hangs. Whitesnake: “I think it’d be best if everyone went home…before things get worse”. Lighthouse: “WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here. We’re at the threshold of hell!”

    Good to have Mr. Rogers back from his South Carolina vacation and Pigskin back from his European vacation. Not sure if Mr. Rogers got see a giant ball of twine or if Pigskin won his cruise on the gameshow “Pig in a Poke” but they both had a good time.

  • Ouchtown, population: you bro!

    Six members of Globo Gym went to Timberwolf for Westhoe led Dodgeball training.

    After some warmups of SSH, Ukrainian Soldiers, DQ, Dead man hang, Cherry Pickers, Freddie’s, LBC and Merkins, we headed to the tennis courts and did some line tracers and then split into two teams: Average Rosie’s (Rosie, Meatball and Rudy) and the Purple Whitesnakes (Whitesnake, Crabgrass and Tzatziki).

    Special rules for F3 Dodgeball: you get hit or they catch your ball, you run to the 3rd court and do 5 burpees and run back to get in. Win by having the other team all off the court doing burpees or running back and forth.

    Game 1: victory to Purple Whitesnakes. During this game we went from 3 burpees penalty to 5.

    in between we do 20 squats and arm circles

    Game 2: victory to Purple Whitesnakes. I ask if they want to switch teams while laughing.

    in between we do 20 flutters. By now, everyone has done 30-40 burpees.

    Game 3: once you are out you are out (after doing 5 burpees). The Average Rosie’s soon find themselves all three vs Crabgrass. But Crabgrass is no beginner. He is from Purple Whitesnakes! Soon Meatball and Rudy find themselves doing burpees and it is Rosie vs Crabgrass. They limit themselves to the Forecourt while the rest of us get them the balls. Back and forth they go and finally, Rosie and the Average Rosies are victorious.

    Rosie: No one makes me bleed my own blood.

    We all have one sore arm, got 1.3 miles of running in and did 40-60 burpees. Only one bad crotch shot and no bad head shots. 3 v 3 dodgeball was fun and a lot of work. Thanks for letting me lead.

    Westhoe take over continues tomorrow. Don’t forget the race on Saturday morning or getting your 10th anniversary shirt or hat. Ultimate and Pickleball tournaments coming up. Sign up now!!

  • Way too early takeover

    Gypsy did not audit my clown car meeting time and so we arrived 20 minutes early. I also parked us in the wrong lot. But that allowed me to scout a little and find out that the football field is closed and the hill has not been mowed in a month. No Die Hard for these Southside warriors.

    We warmed up in the upper lot behind the school with some SSH, IW, Ukrainian Hammers, LBCs and Merkins. Then we went down the stairs and ran around the track to the baseball field.

    We spread out to each base with home being a ten burpee timer, with exercises at each base. Exercises includes Squats, LBCs, Flutters and then the second round had HRM, WWII & Hammers.

    The extra big outfield was in good shape so we used the light poles and did a quarter pounder with 25 merkins, 50 squats, 75 single count mountain climbers and 100 SSH. Bernie’s back after each.

    I decided against a double (there was rejoicing) and we went back to the track and the stairs up. We then headed to the tennis courts.

    After a round of line tracers, we did two rounds of 4 corners: 10 merkins, 20 squats, 30 Lbcs, & 40 smurf jacks. Second round was something like HRM, Hammers, jump squats & SSH.

    We went back to the start and found the runners for COT. Great to meet many of you and thanks for letting me lead. Westhoe takeover all week. Can I find a good hill for Diehard???

    Homegrown Half/10K/5K this Saturday. Sign up for the Pickleball tournament and if you want a 10yr Anniversary shirt of hat, get your order in today!