Join us as we celebrate 11 years of F3 RVA with a beatdown followed by coffee and some very “special” awards. This event is open to all men. Bring your flags, wear your colors, and maybe make a donation to Nancy Lopez’s F3 Africa clothing and shoe drive. Please note the updated launch time.
Location: DogPile
Beatdown: 6:30 am
Coffee and Awards: 7:40 am
For a while now, an idea has been bouncing around in my head: Why not have a Saturday morning post a little closer to home? Rock N Roll and Dogpile are great, but with more and more PAX showing up at Forge, and No Toll gaining momentum, it felt like a good time to explore a new AO.
So, I put out an e-mail suggesting we meet in two weeks. Within 30 minutes, Snuff was on the line, asking, “Why wait two weeks? How about tomorrow?” Text messages went out to reframe the plan for an immediate launch. The replies were crickets, with Last Call giving a firm “don’t count on me.”
Nevertheless, a flag was planted by the glowing kiosk. Snuff and I weren’t waiting. We were explorers. We moseyed to the back of the elementary school, popping through the woods to Riverside School. The terrain was perfect: a large field for a sunken game of ultimate, a big hill, and a track with a brand new playground. We found the perfect spot for our first workout.
We formed a line since there were just two of us and got into the work.
We moseyed to a small hill (that deserves a name) for a mini-Dora. We did a crawl bear to the bottom of the hill and traded reps.
We moseyed to the Bon Air Community Center for some Cocaine Bears—a bear crawl with a merkin at every line in the parking lot.
After hitting the nameless pedestrian bridge, we found a nice brick wall for a mini-tabata. We hit each interval for 45 seconds each.
Next, YHC discovered a loop for a little duo. In the circuit, there were stairs for some Tooth Fairies: a runner goes up the stairs, Tooth Fairy-style (Merkin on each step) while the partner does Alabama Prom Dates. We thoroughly marinated the security camera with our pelvic thrusts before moseying to the next location.
We found an interesting maze of circles, rectangles, and triangles connected with lines. YHC prescribed 5 merkins at every triangle, 5 abs at every rectangle, and 5 squats at every circle.
More touring was had, then it was back to the flag for COT.
While there were thoughts of other locations such as Robious Middle, this little pocket of Bon Air felt like a nice oasis. There is quite a bit of nature and some good wide open spaces. With the Riverside School, churches, and Bon Air Community Center all nearby, there was plenty to keep us occupied and inventing new workouts.
YHC felt like there is no time like now to start a new AO, and Saturdays feel like a great day to spread the love. We’ll be back out next week. Until then, Bon Iron might be a good new name for this AO, paying tribute to Bon Air’s establishment as a resort community at a railroad station for those seeking “Good Air.” And Iron, for as Iron sharpens Iron so one man sharpens another.
Numbers: 1 then 2.
Names: Snuff, Machismo.
Prayer: Prayers were had for redirecting energy as we find availability with Snuff’s kid going to school and filling voids in our lives.
LABOR DAY CONVERGENCE
Monday 9/1 – 7:00 – 8:00am
Dogpile
Take the day off from your job but don’t take a day off from putting in some work! Join us at Dogpile on Labor Day for a convergence workout and coffee/bagels afterwards.
See you there!
See Crabgrass for info to to help with support.
2 fleet-of-foot denizens of the Pickle Ball kingdom met on the courts of battle for the Inaugural F3RVA Singles Pickle Ball Championship. Conditions were sunny and 70. According to the lady of the night and her escort, the following back-and-forth action might have happened.
COP:
Lap around the courts. Various stretches and exercises. Pre-game workout was intense with Applesauce setting the F3RVA record with 1,110 merkins (before 5:45 a.m.). He also Invented 2 new AI models and cured one strain of the common cold (but, only one). Vaccines were banned from this tournament, as was flouride and several books that few have read anyway. But, in this world of manufactured fear mongering, the players remained steadfast in their focus on sports science – only HGH, creatine, and good ole Ben-Gay were allowed. Shoes were required – sorry, Bodos.
Indeed, this was pickleball at its most raw.
Main Event – The Championship (Singles).
Some time later this summer there is a double’s tournament (which is on the Summer Tour). Today, the two survivors of the fortnight-long round robin singles tournament fought it out. Back-and-forth, back-and-forth, back (ok, out!)…
Highlights:
Applesauce twice pulled off the unintentional double-tap (permitted in PB),
Several balls that were “out” were called “in,” as a courtesy (thank you, Oyster),
The stupid rule requiring that every ball which is out be actually called “out” was suspended for being dumb, stupid, and a poopy-face rule, and,
Lobs to the Moon and Back were used extensively (and, candidly, quite effectively).
In a three set nail biter, UpChuck narrowly defeated F3 newcomer and veteran Pickle Ball player Applesauce in a mega cage match for the ages. This is Pickle Ball scoring, so it’s odd. 11-5-2, 11-7-1, 11-4-2 (17-12). The math works, and if it doesn’t, check Truth Social and ask yourself whether anything on the Inter-webs is really a lie if you want it to be true. Say it enough, and it becomes true.
Also, Applesauce signed his first NIL deal to promote paddles for New England Asset Management company (NEAM). Incredible. Don’t believe me? Check out his paddle next week.
There were already too many numbers for today, so all of the rest we did silently and shared good will and brotherhood on the way out.
Next year, Applesauce. But, for now, age won out over youth.
Who: All Pax
What: An epic CSAUP involving running or rucking to various AOs, stopping for a brief bootcamp at each AO.
When: February 8, 2025 (day before superbowl). Beginning at 6 a.m. Wrapping up around 9 a.m.
Where: Route begins at Dog Pile ==> Lynwood Elementary ==> Mary Munford ==> Dog Pile. Here is the route: https://tinyurl.com/2025-Frozen-Triangle-Route
Why: It is a CSAUP. You get to burn a bunch of calories prior to superbowl. Be a HIM. Wave around the American Flag. To quote one of the greatest HIMs, “Transformation does not happen in the comfortable middle. Transformation happens at the hard edges. ”
What’s next, how can I help?