Author: Saab

  • Shakedown Shuffle

    3 Men, One Female, one Canine, and one Buck* met up for a chilly yet sunny and calm morning for a lap around one of RVA’s many outdoor gems. Here’s what transpired…

    Routes:

    • 10 mile:  South Side (Buttermilk), Forest Hill, New Bridge, return on North Bank
    • 7 mile:  South Side (Buttermilk), New Bridge, return on North Bank*
    • ? mile:  North Side to Tx Beach entrance and return.

    Highlights:

    • Welcome again to Whistleblower who wanted to experience the trails.  As expected, the PAX were gentlemen and no whistles were blown.
    • Shakedown and Lola met up with Offshore and Sally on their return across North Bank and came back as a group.
    • Shakedown performed his classic shuffle a couple times thanks to the hidden roots and rocks but no one was injured in the performance.
    • *Thanks to Shakedown and Lola for adding an extra mile to their run by finishing and then doubling-back to scoop up YHC who was coming along North Bank
    • **Word has it, Shakedown and/or Lola were nearly impaled by what was described as a majestic buck.  We are fortunate to have access to such a terrific park system and wildlife.

    Saab abides

  • Visions of Splashing Bordeaux

    A frigid 23 left the comfort of their automobiles to see if a Dogpile beatdown would compensate for their sudden loss of heat.  This is what transpired…more or less:

    COP:  Don Quixote’s (10)

    Red Barchetta:  Run out to 25, 50, 75, and 100 and perform same # of stated exercise:  Burpees, Merkins, Mountain Climbers, Flutter Kicks…respectively

    It’s a Frickin’ Triangle:  Polar Bear, 10 Merkins.  Run…20 J-Squats….run backwards (uphill).  30 WWII’s (Proper, Hardywood-style).  Heels to Heaven for early finishes.

    Amphitheater:  Alternating Derkins and Dips on down (5 each).  Alternating Incline-Merkins and Heals to Heaven back up (5 each).

    Lindsays (Saab’s Version):  Hill and Valley behind Amphitheater… 35 Donkey Kicks on top of one hill, 5 Squats on top of other hill.  Perform 5 Merkins on bottom each time one passes.  Decrement/Increment count by 5 until 5/35 is completed.

    Ring of Fire (10 Merkins).  Mary:  Hello Dollys, Rosalitas, Box Cutters (40 for Honeydo’s upcoming ascendency out of “hate”)

    Moleskin

    Since YHC could not discern much chatter over the din of Lab Rat’s discourse, the following is a summary of observations throughout the workout:

    • Hitchhiker’s proximity to the AO was learned after first questioning his ability to see through his windshield which was completely covered in frost.
    • On the subject of Hitcher, congrats on his pending arrival…(his M is “Up the Duff”)
    • To the BB title, HoneyDo informed YHC early on he was a little hungover after finishing a vintage ($250) bottle of 83 Bordeaux.  Not only does that solidify YHC’s opinion of HoneyDo as a real high-roller, he knew HD would never regurgitate such a fine vintage into the grounds of the AO.
    • Supposedly, Saab’s workouts generate a desire to regularly check one’s watch.  YHC is not certain if this is due to boredom or something else.
    • According to Lab Rat, YHC did not have a proper “COP”.  YHC sorely disputes this claim…
    • Given YHC’s poor track-record for studying the Lexicon, it should have come as no surprise that Saab had a different definition of Lindsays – as was pointed out when he chose the ratio of 35/5.
    • There was a brief moment of concern at the base of the amphitheater when YHC noticed one PAX member laying motionless on the bottom step….particularly since our resident doctor is currently relaxing in Hawaii (bitches).
    • Speaking of Bleeder, he clocked today’s workout as covering 3.8M…Apologies went to Swirly afterward who is working through some serious knee pain.
    • On the subject of Swirly, it has become evident (why’d it take me this long) that you can’t argue with, or give good advice to Corporate nor a Stubborn Swirly.  Does he take time off after running a 100k/64M race?…nah…recovery is for sucks, right Swirl?

    Announcements:  HDHH this Wednesday at the Answer – a celebration of all that is HoneyDo (40)

    Saab abides

     

  • Ode to Mount Julian (aka Henrico)

    A lucky 7 arrived for a run among familiar places.

    Absent were those who recently ran rather grueling and difficult races.

    With an out and back options of differing miles

    And a slightly non-pc joke leading to a few groans and smiles

    The PAX was content in having put one another through their paces

    <fin>

    Thoughts and prayers to Splinters wife’s, sister’s father who was in a severe car accident recently and is having a challenging and painful recovery.

    Saab out

  • 10k x 10 = 100k…Woof!

    2 stubborn stalwarts, one superfluous Saab, and an (oral?) thermometer-carrying Circle K descended upon the Devil Dog 100k in Prince William State Park.  The following is a comprehensive and irrefutable summary of observations from this completely impressive and utterly grueling event…more or less.

    • Ultra marathons are aptly named…they are a beast and test both the physical and mental aspects of one’s fortitude.  TYA and Swirly demonstrated their ability and resolve to overcome and conquer any challenge.  T-Claps to you both for completing the Devil Dog 100k…Sixty Five miles +… (yes it was longer than what your conversion chart will tell you).
    • Having just run one loop in the dark in freezing temperatures, YHC was reminded of the “Barclay” and what those runners had to go through after completing a loop – only to have to repeat it in the dark.  One finds that when a runner has covered a loop for the third time – under sleep-deprived and excessive-fatigue conditions – each loop is a new experience.
    • When attending such events it is important to remember that courtesy is paramount and one must remember that the staff are volunteers and not indentured servants.  Although no such behavior would come from our F3 brethren, it is amazing how poorly some (outside RVA) treat some support staff.
    • On a lighter note, the running community is a great one, both those who participate and those who volunteer.  Everyone is welcoming and always eager to help.  Support staff at the Devil Dog were terrific.
    • Many thanks to our VA state park system. Their restroom stalls are the warmest one would find …absent periodic interruptions from Circle K who was keeping YHC apprised if his arrival plans and thermometer selection.
    • This race brought back personal memories of Bel Monte and Bear Creek (well done guys!!).
    • Thanks to Circle K for making the trip up as soon as he was available….Always there when you need him.
    • TYA is quite the charmer…particularly if you are providing food and drink and happen to be a cute female.  (For the record, no selfies were taken and no hands were inappropriately placed.)
    • There is such as thing as a “virtual” colonoscopy…all one needs is a bicycle pump and a remote location to release one’s compressed air.
    • In times of emergency, one will apply Bag Balm as necessary…even if it is not on one’s own nips.

    Again, it was a privilege.  Well done gentleman.

    Saab abides.

  • Giving Lindsay Some Love….

    A Lucky 13 presented themselves at TES under slightly moist and chilly conditions. This is what transpired – more or less…

    COP: DQ’s, Imperial Walkers, Arm Circles (front and back), LBC’s (52). Preceded each exercise with 10 Merkins

    Lindsay Love: Proceed to near bottom of Lindsay court and partner up. Partner runs to top and back while other runs through 4 exercises: B-Jump Burpees, Bear Crawls, Polar Bears, Squat-then-jump.  Finish with 20 Merkins

    Mosey to side of school near (very muddy) field. 26 Donkey Kicks. Bear Crawl to middle of field, perform 26 Merkins, then run to other side and perform 26 WWII’s.  Three rounds.

    Four Corners: Merkins, J-Squats, LBCs, American Hammers. Start at 10, 20, then 30 each.

    Burpee Shuffle: Person calls out number of burpees (1-3). No successive repeats.

    COT:

    NMS:

    Little to report except for the state of the field which was extremely muddy. Given the damage YHC had done to the Mary Munford field on his first-ever Q, YHC called an audible to move to the asphalt.

    Thanks to Splinter and Honeydo, Merkin total was tabulated at “225.”

    The PAX was joined (briefly) by a nearby resident who was taking a day off from his usual workout group (rhymes with “Peal Seam”). His visit ended after (cordially) pointing out to YHC that our Donkey-Kicks were leaving mud on the TMS brick wall. His observation was acknowledged. (A confounded YHC also acknowledged a couple of other things that were left unsaid.)

    Announcements: See Marv for all things VCU – including tickets to tonight’s game (and future games for that matter).

    Saab abides (with exceptions)

  • Merkins and C-Strings

    An intrepid trio descended upon the pump house for what turned into an 11 mile run:  Buttermilk trail to Forrest Hill (counter clockwise).  Continue on Buttermilk to new-bridge, then return on north trail.

    YHC could not think of a better way to spend this particular Sunday than on a long trail run followed by some good, wholesome, g-rated conversation with friends at ETs.  The day did not disappoint.  With each passing year it is important to continually expand one’s knowledge.  On this particular day YHC was educated on the various types of accoutrements used to strategically cover (or augment) one’s pubic-region…thus the name of today’s BB title.

    Saab abides

     

  • What would Honey Do Do…

    A stalwart 16 descended upon Tuckahoe for light calisthenics.  This is what transpired…

    COP:  Helicopters, DQs, Imperial Walkers, Merkins, LBCs

    Lindsay: Start at top of hill, perform 30 Heels to Heaven, run down hill and perform 10 Merkins.  Repeato.  Decrement/Increment each by 5 until you reach 10 and 30.

    Run to back of school.  Perform x Donkey Kicks, Bear Crawl 10 or so yards, perform x Merkins, run to opposite side of field and perform x Squats. Repeato.    x=10, 15, 20, 25, 30

    Build a Burpee:  Perform 1 merkin , 1 Jump Squat, 1 Burpee.  Then perform 2 of each, etc.  Repeato until finish at 7 Burpees.  Do this while running from one end of the court to the other (and back)…stopping in middle for whatever exercise is next.

    Minutes of Mary:  Hello Dollys, Flutter Kicks, Reverse Crunches (per Upchuck), and LBCs

    Moleskin:

    Most times YHC approaches a workout he asks himself “what can he hack from one of HoneyDo’s prior beatdowns, or at least inflict so as the PAX is similarly smoked.”  While the answer usually doesn’t quite make the bar, it is fun trying.  The following are some brief observations…

    • Upchuck was the first to finish the first set of H-to-H during the Lindsays, which seemed humanly impossible given the count was 30.  He promptly returned to the PAX and continued on…acknowledging he maintains his own special counting scheme
    • Fudd had his share of questions this morning.  Had YHC bothered to listen, he assumes they were all good ones.
    • As usual, YHC was terrible during the instruction period.  Build a Burpee is often met with many questions (Fudd notwithstanding) and today was no different.  He will work on this for future endeavors (or maybe not).
    • KeyMaster introduced our FNG Kubota (he is in sales for John Deere).  Welcome.

    No announcements made

    Saab abides

     

  • Between Two Ferns

    A whopping 2 PAX presented themselves at Pole Green Elementary to knock out 110 burpees and a little bit o mary…this is what transpired…

    COP:  DQ’s, Arm Circles (both directions), WWII’s, Imperial Walkers…each preceded by 5 burpees

    Two-Fer (was going to be a Triple-Check):  Perform x Donkey Kicks, bear crawl 10 yards, perform x Merkins, then run 100 yards, perform 5 burpees…return and repeato.  x = 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.

    Jacob’s Ladder (Double-shot):  Run across two b-ball courts.  Perform burpee half way, then at end of other court, return and continue cycle.  Burpees start at 1 and end at 7 (1+1, 2+2, 3+3, etc). 56 burpees total.

    “Circle” up:  Perform 4 more burpees to make it an even 110

    “Ring” of Fire:  10 Merkins each x 4

    Mary:  Flutter kicks, Hello Dolly, Rosalitas, Box Cutters (out and in).

    Moleskin:

    As the “Green Acres” song danced in his head… “Dahling I love you but give me Park Avenue…”, YHC was actually anticipating no participants at this morning’s AO, and thereby dreading having to do 100 burpees on his own.  How great it was to see Phonics arrive.  What was interesting is that Phonics brought a flashlight on the assumption that the Q (Saab) would incorporate a lot of running.  Sadly, that was not an option for the Q but he hopes he otherwise did not disappoint

    Phonics was great during the burpee ladder and he easily smoked YHC…in fact that could be applied to everything else he did.

    For the second day in a row, YHC got to see a terrific sky full of stars…nice to get out of the big city once in a while.

    Announcements:   I’m sure there are some in another backblast somewhere…you should read it.

    Saab abides (when able)

     

  • VQ, Toll Violation, and Pop-a-Lock

    11 were present for Saab’s VQ at SOT as part of Tuckahoe Takeover.  This is what transpired – more or less…

    COP:  DQ’s, 5 Burpees, Imperial Walkers, 5 Burpees, Arm Circles, 5 Burpees, LBC’s , 5 Burpees)

    Doras:  Merkins, Squats, LBC’s (119, 219, 319).  Partner runs around bus loop

    AMREPS:  Go to Courts:  5 Burpees (started with 10), run to other side perform 20 of exercise then return…repeat.  Alternating exercises were Merkins, J-Squats, WWII’s, and Monkey Humpers (by demand).

    Ring of Fire, then 5 minutes of Mary (Rosalitas, Box cutters, Heels to Heaven, Flutter Kicks).

    Moleskin:

    Well it has been 19 years since Saab packed his bags and migrated north to the big city.  Although the roads have a changed a bit, all was well on south side and PAX were welcoming as ever.  However, YHC learned the hard way there are no toll operators available at 5:00am.

    This was a typical Virgin-Q: YHC had studied the topography from pictures and had a “fair” idea where everything should be located, but it was dark so he needed the occasional guidance so as to not land in the wrong place….took me back to 8th grade.

    PAX were great and quite helpful.  Speaking of helpful, so was Scott from “Pop-a-Lock” who had to come and retrieved Saab’s keys.  (Serves him right for taking his son’s car and not studying the auto-lock system.)

    Announcements:  Convergence is Saturday (7:00am) at Grid Iron.  Bonus workout is at 6:00am – same location as Convergence.

    Please respond to Hardywood’s post if you would like to partake in breakfast and coffee.

    Saab abides (when able)

     

  • BRR 2017: One First After Another

    BRR 2017: One First After Another

    22 runners and a pit crew of 5 took a giant step forward to tackle this year’s 208 mile trek from Grayson Highlands VA to Asheville NC.  With an abundance of accomplishments and stories too extensive to capture here, enclosed is a “brief” summary of what transpired over the event. YHC will leave it up to the PAX to weigh-in on any omissions, distortions of truth, or dispel any unfounded rumors regarding one’s ability to keep a van upright on a dark country road…

    Acknowledgements and Accomplishments:

    • A sincere and hearty thanks to Bleeder, Swirly, and TYA for your end-to-end arrangement of this year’s BRR.  Logistics, equipment, and accommodations were outstanding.  The PAX thanks you all for your extensive effort in pulling this together VA…it just gets better every year
    • Thanks to all the runners who managed to exceed expectations.  Elevation changes make this a beast of a race, and ALL participants truly crushed-it.
    • Extended thanks to the drivers and logistics team:  Viral (driving lead), Marmaduke, Loose Goose, Flipper (logistics), and Saab**.  Viral was truly the lead driver and resident-concierge. Flipper prepared the house and made breakfast for the early arrivals and also put in overtime helping to heal hurt joints by bringing Holland Chiropractic to Asheville.
    • Thanks to Wilson and Circle K who were on top of preparing a damn fine dinner for all the PAX Saturday evening. Despite being awake for 40 hours you guys were on top of it.
    • Welcome and thanks to some Superior runners who stepped-in last minute to fill some open seats:
      • Kevin (who shall be named):  The guy who looked like a kid at Christmas both before and after each run – all of which he truly nailed.
      • Ronaldo:  The “Scotty” of RVA Graphics, who makes the Corporate vans the envy of other F3 regions.
      • Swallow (birth name Sparrow):  Formerly named Scissorhands (nevermore), who fully embraced his new handle with great humor and enthusiasm…our kind of PAX.

    Results:

    • This year’s race involved a head to head between two teams starting at 5:30 am.  Team 1 (F3 Corporate LLC) finished in 30:50:46, while team 2 (F3 Corporate INC) completed the route in 31:43:30.  For those history buffs, prior year times were as follows:
      • 2016:  12 man team (32:55) and 9 man team (29:16)
      • 2015:  12 man team (32:16)

    Moleskin

    It would be impossible to capture every that occurred over a 3-day event that involved travel to a quiet country inn in Southwestern VA, a relay consisting of 22 PAX spread across 4 vans, and a stay-over at a terrific mountain house to recover and celebrate.  As such, enclosed in no particular order is just a brief list of observations, experiences, and (humorous) incidents…participating PAX are at license to supplement as needed.

    • With a supply of Swedish Fish and pink frosting, one can make a confection depicting the female anatomy …who knew?
    • On a similar subject, inflatable vulvas appear to be all the rage this year…although it took some effort to get them prepared for active use.
    • Lost and Found:  Viral discovered a black thong while cleaning out his van.  Will the owning PAX please claim the lost article of clothing before Viral decides to keep it for himself.
    • When staying in a rural hotel, it is best not to keep one’s door open while watching a ball game, lest it attract a violent and unstable meth-head by the name of Bully who will punch himself in the face repeatedly once asked to leave.
    • Swirly does not like when playtime is over and has no patience for those retiring early. Swirly also likes his Bag Balm…Had we known it was his birthday we would have ordered him a gallon jar.
    • On the subject of Bag Balm, one needs to be cautious when approaching the van or they may catch a full-frontal view of said-product being applied to one’s nether-region, or perhaps witness a PAX member urinating in a clear plastic bottle (one with a wide-mouth opening of course)
    • Viral won the award for most attentive driver. After one PAX muttered his desire for coffee, Viral was at the local department store purchasing a high-dollar camp stove. Upon discovery by another PAX who did not want to subsidize such a purchase, he was promptly sent to the store’s return-desk.
    • There are many other tales of Viral’s attentiveness to runners including offering massages. At one point it was questioned to what lengths he would go to assist others no matter how unpleasant…none of which can be repeated here. (Note: you can ask Honeydo to demonstrate…it will be worth it.)
    • In the pre-dawn hours, when a passing female asks if she could “choke the chicken” that was crowing in the background, one should consult urban dictionary before responding.
    • According to Circle K, you don’t need a GPS as long as you are heading either North or South, have Jalapeno Tostidos, and only TWO cold beers (36oz of course).
    • Interactions with locals were varied, as Lug Nut reported a number of late night run-ins including a pack of hunting dogs, a man on a porch who yelled “go home”, and another who informed him that “planting his corn early” would be in his best interest. All the while Lug Nut maintained his cool and friendly demeanor.
    • After an opposing van provided Lola first-aid during his run, someone briefly muttered that the team be subject to a 5 minute penalty. Viral, who is passionate about helping out, jumped up and began walking toward the race officials…he was quickly called-back.
    • Rosie’s arsenal of leg rollers resembled marital aids that would make a female passer-by blush.

    That concludes all the items YHC can recall or speak to first hand**. The remaining abbreviated list is for the PAX to comment and elaborate on as they so choose…

    • TYA’s acumen for predicting finish times of each runner, yet somehow managing departure that was 45 minutes late.  Screaming “Channel the Zebra” (cake)..Abacus.  Gomer Pyle’s way with women.  Circle K buying a used pillow from an antique store (because…why not).  After Abacus demonstrates his elaborate method for removing a bottle cap, Offshore casually pointing out the beer is a twist-off.   Keen identification of “Pace Cars” at legs 31 and 32 (Trophy chasing them down).  Enough with the chocolate milk already! Flatline gets lost.  Police cars flying through Bakersfield and nearly killing the runners.

    **Alas, let’s not forget Saab running the van off the road and nearly rolling it down an embankment in the pre-dawn hours between legs one and two.  Passengers did not realize how steep the embankment was until EF Hutton jumped out the side door and practically disappeared.  Once all runners were loaded into a van full of ladies who had stopped to help (you’re welcome guys), Saab and TYA awaited assistance.  When an F3 van from another region approached they inquired which city we were from, without hesitation Saab proudly stated “Charlotte!”.  It was after that time our savior Charles Young appeared out of the mist.  After instructing Saab to get in the van and be sure to buckle up (in case the van were to roll down the embankment), the van was pulled out of its precarious position…all the while TYA was smiling and filming the entire event.  As Saab put the van in drive he turned to TYA and said “you were right…it was worth it”.

    And so Saab has solidified his place in F3RVA lore and established a virtual guarantee he will never be asked to drive in a relay again (or let’s hope so).

    Saab abides