Author: Saab

  • Merkins and C-Strings

    An intrepid trio descended upon the pump house for what turned into an 11 mile run:  Buttermilk trail to Forrest Hill (counter clockwise).  Continue on Buttermilk to new-bridge, then return on north trail.

    YHC could not think of a better way to spend this particular Sunday than on a long trail run followed by some good, wholesome, g-rated conversation with friends at ETs.  The day did not disappoint.  With each passing year it is important to continually expand one’s knowledge.  On this particular day YHC was educated on the various types of accoutrements used to strategically cover (or augment) one’s pubic-region…thus the name of today’s BB title.

    Saab abides

     

  • What would Honey Do Do…

    A stalwart 16 descended upon Tuckahoe for light calisthenics.  This is what transpired…

    COP:  Helicopters, DQs, Imperial Walkers, Merkins, LBCs

    Lindsay: Start at top of hill, perform 30 Heels to Heaven, run down hill and perform 10 Merkins.  Repeato.  Decrement/Increment each by 5 until you reach 10 and 30.

    Run to back of school.  Perform x Donkey Kicks, Bear Crawl 10 or so yards, perform x Merkins, run to opposite side of field and perform x Squats. Repeato.    x=10, 15, 20, 25, 30

    Build a Burpee:  Perform 1 merkin , 1 Jump Squat, 1 Burpee.  Then perform 2 of each, etc.  Repeato until finish at 7 Burpees.  Do this while running from one end of the court to the other (and back)…stopping in middle for whatever exercise is next.

    Minutes of Mary:  Hello Dollys, Flutter Kicks, Reverse Crunches (per Upchuck), and LBCs

    Moleskin:

    Most times YHC approaches a workout he asks himself “what can he hack from one of HoneyDo’s prior beatdowns, or at least inflict so as the PAX is similarly smoked.”  While the answer usually doesn’t quite make the bar, it is fun trying.  The following are some brief observations…

    • Upchuck was the first to finish the first set of H-to-H during the Lindsays, which seemed humanly impossible given the count was 30.  He promptly returned to the PAX and continued on…acknowledging he maintains his own special counting scheme
    • Fudd had his share of questions this morning.  Had YHC bothered to listen, he assumes they were all good ones.
    • As usual, YHC was terrible during the instruction period.  Build a Burpee is often met with many questions (Fudd notwithstanding) and today was no different.  He will work on this for future endeavors (or maybe not).
    • KeyMaster introduced our FNG Kubota (he is in sales for John Deere).  Welcome.

    No announcements made

    Saab abides

     

  • Between Two Ferns

    A whopping 2 PAX presented themselves at Pole Green Elementary to knock out 110 burpees and a little bit o mary…this is what transpired…

    COP:  DQ’s, Arm Circles (both directions), WWII’s, Imperial Walkers…each preceded by 5 burpees

    Two-Fer (was going to be a Triple-Check):  Perform x Donkey Kicks, bear crawl 10 yards, perform x Merkins, then run 100 yards, perform 5 burpees…return and repeato.  x = 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.

    Jacob’s Ladder (Double-shot):  Run across two b-ball courts.  Perform burpee half way, then at end of other court, return and continue cycle.  Burpees start at 1 and end at 7 (1+1, 2+2, 3+3, etc). 56 burpees total.

    “Circle” up:  Perform 4 more burpees to make it an even 110

    “Ring” of Fire:  10 Merkins each x 4

    Mary:  Flutter kicks, Hello Dolly, Rosalitas, Box Cutters (out and in).

    Moleskin:

    As the “Green Acres” song danced in his head… “Dahling I love you but give me Park Avenue…”, YHC was actually anticipating no participants at this morning’s AO, and thereby dreading having to do 100 burpees on his own.  How great it was to see Phonics arrive.  What was interesting is that Phonics brought a flashlight on the assumption that the Q (Saab) would incorporate a lot of running.  Sadly, that was not an option for the Q but he hopes he otherwise did not disappoint

    Phonics was great during the burpee ladder and he easily smoked YHC…in fact that could be applied to everything else he did.

    For the second day in a row, YHC got to see a terrific sky full of stars…nice to get out of the big city once in a while.

    Announcements:   I’m sure there are some in another backblast somewhere…you should read it.

    Saab abides (when able)

     

  • VQ, Toll Violation, and Pop-a-Lock

    11 were present for Saab’s VQ at SOT as part of Tuckahoe Takeover.  This is what transpired – more or less…

    COP:  DQ’s, 5 Burpees, Imperial Walkers, 5 Burpees, Arm Circles, 5 Burpees, LBC’s , 5 Burpees)

    Doras:  Merkins, Squats, LBC’s (119, 219, 319).  Partner runs around bus loop

    AMREPS:  Go to Courts:  5 Burpees (started with 10), run to other side perform 20 of exercise then return…repeat.  Alternating exercises were Merkins, J-Squats, WWII’s, and Monkey Humpers (by demand).

    Ring of Fire, then 5 minutes of Mary (Rosalitas, Box cutters, Heels to Heaven, Flutter Kicks).

    Moleskin:

    Well it has been 19 years since Saab packed his bags and migrated north to the big city.  Although the roads have a changed a bit, all was well on south side and PAX were welcoming as ever.  However, YHC learned the hard way there are no toll operators available at 5:00am.

    This was a typical Virgin-Q: YHC had studied the topography from pictures and had a “fair” idea where everything should be located, but it was dark so he needed the occasional guidance so as to not land in the wrong place….took me back to 8th grade.

    PAX were great and quite helpful.  Speaking of helpful, so was Scott from “Pop-a-Lock” who had to come and retrieved Saab’s keys.  (Serves him right for taking his son’s car and not studying the auto-lock system.)

    Announcements:  Convergence is Saturday (7:00am) at Grid Iron.  Bonus workout is at 6:00am – same location as Convergence.

    Please respond to Hardywood’s post if you would like to partake in breakfast and coffee.

    Saab abides (when able)

     

  • BRR 2017: One First After Another

    BRR 2017: One First After Another

    22 runners and a pit crew of 5 took a giant step forward to tackle this year’s 208 mile trek from Grayson Highlands VA to Asheville NC.  With an abundance of accomplishments and stories too extensive to capture here, enclosed is a “brief” summary of what transpired over the event. YHC will leave it up to the PAX to weigh-in on any omissions, distortions of truth, or dispel any unfounded rumors regarding one’s ability to keep a van upright on a dark country road…

    Acknowledgements and Accomplishments:

    • A sincere and hearty thanks to Bleeder, Swirly, and TYA for your end-to-end arrangement of this year’s BRR.  Logistics, equipment, and accommodations were outstanding.  The PAX thanks you all for your extensive effort in pulling this together VA…it just gets better every year
    • Thanks to all the runners who managed to exceed expectations.  Elevation changes make this a beast of a race, and ALL participants truly crushed-it.
    • Extended thanks to the drivers and logistics team:  Viral (driving lead), Marmaduke, Loose Goose, Flipper (logistics), and Saab**.  Viral was truly the lead driver and resident-concierge. Flipper prepared the house and made breakfast for the early arrivals and also put in overtime helping to heal hurt joints by bringing Holland Chiropractic to Asheville.
    • Thanks to Wilson and Circle K who were on top of preparing a damn fine dinner for all the PAX Saturday evening. Despite being awake for 40 hours you guys were on top of it.
    • Welcome and thanks to some Superior runners who stepped-in last minute to fill some open seats:
      • Kevin (who shall be named):  The guy who looked like a kid at Christmas both before and after each run – all of which he truly nailed.
      • Ronaldo:  The “Scotty” of RVA Graphics, who makes the Corporate vans the envy of other F3 regions.
      • Swallow (birth name Sparrow):  Formerly named Scissorhands (nevermore), who fully embraced his new handle with great humor and enthusiasm…our kind of PAX.

    Results:

    • This year’s race involved a head to head between two teams starting at 5:30 am.  Team 1 (F3 Corporate LLC) finished in 30:50:46, while team 2 (F3 Corporate INC) completed the route in 31:43:30.  For those history buffs, prior year times were as follows:
      • 2016:  12 man team (32:55) and 9 man team (29:16)
      • 2015:  12 man team (32:16)

    Moleskin

    It would be impossible to capture every that occurred over a 3-day event that involved travel to a quiet country inn in Southwestern VA, a relay consisting of 22 PAX spread across 4 vans, and a stay-over at a terrific mountain house to recover and celebrate.  As such, enclosed in no particular order is just a brief list of observations, experiences, and (humorous) incidents…participating PAX are at license to supplement as needed.

    • With a supply of Swedish Fish and pink frosting, one can make a confection depicting the female anatomy …who knew?
    • On a similar subject, inflatable vulvas appear to be all the rage this year…although it took some effort to get them prepared for active use.
    • Lost and Found:  Viral discovered a black thong while cleaning out his van.  Will the owning PAX please claim the lost article of clothing before Viral decides to keep it for himself.
    • When staying in a rural hotel, it is best not to keep one’s door open while watching a ball game, lest it attract a violent and unstable meth-head by the name of Bully who will punch himself in the face repeatedly once asked to leave.
    • Swirly does not like when playtime is over and has no patience for those retiring early. Swirly also likes his Bag Balm…Had we known it was his birthday we would have ordered him a gallon jar.
    • On the subject of Bag Balm, one needs to be cautious when approaching the van or they may catch a full-frontal view of said-product being applied to one’s nether-region, or perhaps witness a PAX member urinating in a clear plastic bottle (one with a wide-mouth opening of course)
    • Viral won the award for most attentive driver. After one PAX muttered his desire for coffee, Viral was at the local department store purchasing a high-dollar camp stove. Upon discovery by another PAX who did not want to subsidize such a purchase, he was promptly sent to the store’s return-desk.
    • There are many other tales of Viral’s attentiveness to runners including offering massages. At one point it was questioned to what lengths he would go to assist others no matter how unpleasant…none of which can be repeated here. (Note: you can ask Honeydo to demonstrate…it will be worth it.)
    • In the pre-dawn hours, when a passing female asks if she could “choke the chicken” that was crowing in the background, one should consult urban dictionary before responding.
    • According to Circle K, you don’t need a GPS as long as you are heading either North or South, have Jalapeno Tostidos, and only TWO cold beers (36oz of course).
    • Interactions with locals were varied, as Lug Nut reported a number of late night run-ins including a pack of hunting dogs, a man on a porch who yelled “go home”, and another who informed him that “planting his corn early” would be in his best interest. All the while Lug Nut maintained his cool and friendly demeanor.
    • After an opposing van provided Lola first-aid during his run, someone briefly muttered that the team be subject to a 5 minute penalty. Viral, who is passionate about helping out, jumped up and began walking toward the race officials…he was quickly called-back.
    • Rosie’s arsenal of leg rollers resembled marital aids that would make a female passer-by blush.

    That concludes all the items YHC can recall or speak to first hand**. The remaining abbreviated list is for the PAX to comment and elaborate on as they so choose…

    • TYA’s acumen for predicting finish times of each runner, yet somehow managing departure that was 45 minutes late.  Screaming “Channel the Zebra” (cake)..Abacus.  Gomer Pyle’s way with women.  Circle K buying a used pillow from an antique store (because…why not).  After Abacus demonstrates his elaborate method for removing a bottle cap, Offshore casually pointing out the beer is a twist-off.   Keen identification of “Pace Cars” at legs 31 and 32 (Trophy chasing them down).  Enough with the chocolate milk already! Flatline gets lost.  Police cars flying through Bakersfield and nearly killing the runners.

    **Alas, let’s not forget Saab running the van off the road and nearly rolling it down an embankment in the pre-dawn hours between legs one and two.  Passengers did not realize how steep the embankment was until EF Hutton jumped out the side door and practically disappeared.  Once all runners were loaded into a van full of ladies who had stopped to help (you’re welcome guys), Saab and TYA awaited assistance.  When an F3 van from another region approached they inquired which city we were from, without hesitation Saab proudly stated “Charlotte!”.  It was after that time our savior Charles Young appeared out of the mist.  After instructing Saab to get in the van and be sure to buckle up (in case the van were to roll down the embankment), the van was pulled out of its precarious position…all the while TYA was smiling and filming the entire event.  As Saab put the van in drive he turned to TYA and said “you were right…it was worth it”.

    And so Saab has solidified his place in F3RVA lore and established a virtual guarantee he will never be asked to drive in a relay again (or let’s hope so).

    Saab abides

  • That’s one big carrot…

    A naughty nineteen descended upon Mary to see what she would have in store.  This is what transpired – more or less…

    COP:  DQ’s, Burpees, CH Squats, Burpees, Arm Circles (big ones only!), LBCs.  (Actual counts not furnished here…see TYA for precise numbers.)

    Tree Run:  Perform 2 burpees at each tree.

    Elevens:  Jump Squats and Merkins.  Run across tennis courts in between.

    Crawls:  Traverse (4) tennis courts via Bearcrawls, Crawlbears, Crabwalks, Polar Bears

    Triple Check:  Donkey kicks, (bear crawl to edge of court), WWIIs, run out and back (do 3 burpees at halfway point.

    Ring of Fire (Merkins), then a few minutes of Mary

    Moleskin:

    Well, it has been sometime since YHC Q’d a workout given he had been on the DL for what seemed an eternity.  With renewed energy and diminished pain (a feeling discovered during yesterday’s Swirly Q), it was decided today would be the day.  Prior to the start, conversation steered toward the frequent use of the MM garden as a place for pulling a Fudd (aka Stifler’s Mom).  Given the amount of natural fertilizer that has been bestowed upon the garden by our F3 brother’s, one could only anticipate the size of the resulting produce (thus the name of today’s BB).

    Anyway, not much other mumble chatter to report given YHC was trying to suffer through his self imposed beating.  YHC did, however, offer a Lab-Rat-esq apology to those who had been actively training for the BRR and had run the prior evening (Saab apologizes…sort of).

    Announcements:  See DK about the football pool he is managing….riches will be had for all!

    Also, Goose reminded folks to see Conspiracy if they were interested in joining his/their church in going down to Houston to assist (in the October timeframe possibly).

    Anyway, it was great to be back….thought the day would never come.

    Saab abides

  • Booker T Washington would not have planted peanuts in these conditions….

    Three Charlottesville denizens and 4 Richmond regulars converged in Booker T Washington Park for a second time as part of the CVille expansion and to explore what the new AO had to offer.  This is what transpired, more or less:

    Saab Q:  COP (SSH, DQs, Merkins, WWII, Imperial Walkers).  Mosey to Hill for a Jacobs Ladder (Derkins off Park Benches on bottom of hill, Burpees on top…all the way to 7)

    Swirly Q:  Beast:  (Merkins, WWII, Wide-Merkins, Squats, LBCs, Burpees)

    Bleeder Q: Curb Crawls:  Incline/Decline Merkins up to 7 and back down to 1 on each curb

    TYA Q:  Dora’s in groups of 4 and a group of 3.  WWII, Mountain Climbers, American Hammers.  Finish with a Merkin ring of fire and a few minutes of Mary (Rosalitas, Hello Dollys, WWIIs, Box Cutters: Spell the name of the park’s namesake…(The one who was not partial to peanut farming.)

    Naked Moleskin:

    Despite the holiday weekend, the second official workout of the CVille startup had 2 returns, 1 FNG, and 4 clowns from RVA.  The weather was perfect, the ground was thoroughly soaked, and the grass was newly sheered.  This gave way for the following observations, insights, and peccadillos:

    • The AO offers an extremely steep hill for a variety of punishing tasks.  However, having the PAX run down such a grade must be met with caution – particularly if one is recovering from a severe ankle sprain.
    • The thing about Hot Potato is that each Q throw’s in their most favorite punishing acts.  This can lead to a smoked PAX and higher than normal WWII situps.
    • The base of the park is surrounded by two hills, leaving plenty of standing water and grass clippings to run and play in, and work its way into various crevices.
    • It is entertaining to see the confused look of someone who exits their house to see 7 grown men crawling back and forth among their cul de sac.
    • In preparation for the Doras, TYA decided the PAX (of 7) should get into teams of 3.  The PAX was a bit flummoxed as they struggled through the Dora-counts.  (Knowing TYA’s acumen for numbers, YHC was not going to question or challenge his decision for the team numbers….the Q is “all knowing and in charge” after all.)
    • Swirly has a penchant for American history.  Apparently Booker T Washington, was not only an educator, orator, and adviser to the President, but he had a love for peanut farming…who knew?

    In all, the PAX performed well and worked through a punishing workout.  Second-F at Bodos was well attended and did not disappoint.

    Next weekend HoneyDo will be taking a clown car to CVille to lead the next AO.  Please see him to see if there are any seats to be filled.

    Saab abides

     

  • Dirty Dozen

    Although it was raining in some areas of RVA, the weather at UR was perfect as 12 men presented themselves for a run around our fair city.

    Route: Head out toward UR entrance on River Road, cross bridge, head East toward Stratford

    4 milers: Return somewhere between Stratford and the bridge, depending upon one’s mood and interest in adding more distance.5 milers: Take Stratford to Matoken until it “crests”.  6 milers: Take aforementioned route all the way to Shirley then head back down toward river and return. Add one loop around lake at the end.

    NMS: YHC had selfish reasons for choosing to Q today given his aches and pains from a very active weekend. Upon hearing what TYA and Swirly were planning had they gotten to the spreadsheet first, YHC was more than pleased by his decision to Q.

    YHC swagged the six mile distance so he appreciated Marv’s “10 dollar” app providing the correct distance so we knew to add the extra lap at the end.

    YHC was concerned his instructions would result in some lost PAX, but all found their way…despite not finding the “crest” – which YHC was sure existed if one just looked (ran) hard enough.

    It was good to see Grunt (Swirly’s 2.0) out there.  He went on to inform the PAX that Swirly is intense about everything he does…working out, eating, sitting, etc….The PAX worked to contain their look of surprise.

    Anyway, not much else to report aside from the fact that on this day on history, Bonnie & Clyde and Captain Kidd all met their demise at the hand of law enforcement.

    Announcements:

    Saab will be carting some PAX to CVille this Saturday. Given those who have already tossed their names in, and YHC’s ever-shrinking transportation option, the term Clown-Car will be more than appropriate.

    Convergence this Monday. If you are in town then attendance is expected…REMEMBER: Corporate knows when you are fartsacking, and knows when you’re awake (and not posting like you’re supposed to), so make sure you are there for goodness sake.

    Saab abides

  • With Trails Like These, Who Needs Roads…

    In just about perfect running weather, 4 awesome dudes descended upon the RVA trails at different times and for differing distances.  This is what transpired…

    Helix and Saab run from the South Bank to North Bank.  Arrived in time to see TYA and Circle K off at the (Tredegar) starting line of the RiverRock half marathon.  Knowing we had to stay ahead of the runners, we continued on North Bank before the starting gun went off.

    Upon arriving at the pumphouse, Helix and YHC got to volunteering at the waterstop…specifically picking up the cups and organizing collection of trash.  This was our second opportunity to see TYA and CK during their race.  After a brief chat they were off again.

    The third opportunity to see TYA and CK was at the finish line.  Both finished strong and looked as they could have kept on running.  After Circle K shared stories of the various dogs he stopped and played with throughout the Forrest Hill leg, he then turned in the direction of a beer truck for a well deserved “colbeer”.

    What a great day and terrific work done by all.

    Saab abides

  • Like Teets on a Bull

    6 presented themselves on a windy wet morning to start the week off F3-style. This is what transpired – give or take.

    COP: SSH, DQ, LBC, Imperial Walkers

    20’s: Donkey Kicks (20), B-Crawl to marker, perform alternating exercise: 20 reps each (Heels to Heaven, Merkins, High Jumps, WWII), run to next marker and perform 20 Jump-squats. Continue for 20 minutes

    10 Derkins then run to courts. Traverse side to side alternating Bear Crawl, Crawl Bear, Polar Bear, Crab Walk. Perform 20 Merkins on one side and 20 Flutter Kicks (4 cnt) on other.

    Brief Suicides. Perform (something) when you reach the end of the court

    Abbreviated Doras: 100 Merkins then 200 Heals to Heaven…Partner runs across court and performs 3 burpees.

    NMS

    Having been officially with F3 for 2 years (or a year and 6 months if you were to ask TYA), YHC finally attempted a timed-set of exercises. Not too much mumble-chatter to report, and YHC hopes that it was due to the PAX remaining sufficiently winded.

    Of note, YHC had set his 25 dollar Timex to track time for each exercise. This method proved useless**, however, as YHC repeatedly sat on his watch during the exercises and would thereby reset the timer. An audible was called later due to poor time keeping.

    Announcements:

    YHC is pleased and impressed we have two separate contingents performing relay races this weekend. Given those who had completed the race in Roanoke this past weekend, I believe we all appreciate both those who participate in these events, and especially those who help organize them in the first place… Aye!

    Saab abides

    **See Back Blast title (in the parlance of West Virginia denizens)