Author: Offshore

  • A Suboptimal KB Workout

    Seven (or was it eight?) PAX posted to the Circus for YHC’s virgin KB Q.  After a quick disclaimer that the workout may include dance-inspired exercises, the beatdown went something like this:

    The THANG:

    COP: Hammer Dance x20 IC, Don Quixote x10 IC, Windmill x20 IC, Men at Work x20 IC, Pickle Pounders x10 IC.  After each exercise, walkout Merkins OYO increasing from 1 to 5.

    Lindsay: Lunges and Merkins down the side of the school.

    Dora: Goblet squat, KB swings, Lawnmowers.  One partner exercises while the other jogs 20 ft to the ramp, crawl bear up the ramp, and jog back.

    Conveyor Belt: curls 5x each side, shoulder press 5x each side, upright rows 10x, KB bear crawl to next station.

    Merkin Ring of Fire.

    COT

    NMM:

    Welcome to the  June Merkin challenge!  By YHC’s count (not to be trusted), PAX completed 125 Merkins.

    Earthworm complained that there was too much running, despite walking all the 20 ft lengths in the Dora.  Johnsonville asked if this workout was optimized.  It was, but the objective function was to minimize WWII situps, with a constraint on a minimum number of Merkins.  YHC will need to incorporate multi-criteria optimization next time.

    Attila and YHC competed to see who could smell their gloves the furthest from their faces.  YHC’s gloves are soaking in Woolite in an effort to lose the next round.

    Krü continues to insist on finishing all reps during recovery periods, inspiring the other PAX to push themselves harder.  Tclaps!

    White Deer, Mudface, and Jville crushed the crawl bear.  The COP warmup must have gotten their juices flowing.  Their reward was more of the exercises during the Dora.

    Announcements:

    BRR runners and drivers needed – see TYA

    ReeseStrong (M Phonics) and Fudd party 6/10

    Crossover Clinic Moo & Brew 5k (Malpractice) 6/3

  • R.I.P. Goo Shoes

    A two PAX beat the fartsack, daylight savings time, and alarm clock incompetence to hit the trails this morning.

    The THANG:  Northside to the new bridge to the southside. ~7 miles.

    NMM:  PAX will recall Helix’s Shoe Goo Shoes.  YHC is sad to report that they were laid to rest as they had become more goo than shoe.  Applications are being accepted for replacements.

    YHC properly adjusted the time on his alarm clock but screwed up the alarm time and awoke at 6:41am.  Google Maps says it should take 17 minutes to reach the AO.  YHC arrived at 7:01 AM.  YHC thinks as a general rule it’s probably best not to know the shortest amount of time required to reach the AO.

    YHC was glad to see Helix, and grateful for his patience with a late arrival.  It was a beautiful morning for a trail run: clear, calm, and a little cold.  Lights were needed only on the initial descent – the days are getting longer.  For YHC, the bigger challenge was seeing through the sleep in his eyes.

    YHC is anxious to hear stories about the Belmont and hope the PAX are recovering well.

  • Rise Up and Get Buck

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-yrtKsCdI8

     

    13 PAX rose up and got buck at 45MOM.

    The THANG:

    COP: Hammer Dance x~20, Power Dance x~20, Dirty Birds x~20, Mariah Careys x10 each leg, Pickle Pounders IC x10.

    Mosey to the basketball court for Triple Check: hip-slappers, WWII situps, backwards run/forwards sprint.

    Mosey to the field for Bear-Crab Futbol. Each time the ball goes out of bounds, all PAX perform 5 Burpees. If a team scores, they perform 10 Monkey Humpers to celebrate. The scoring team names an exercise for the other team to perform 20 reps.

    Mosey to the side wall of the school for the Ascending Testicle: 10 derkins with feet at 15 degrees, 10 at 45 degrees, 10 in BTTW position.

    Groundhog Day – mosey back to the basketball court for the same Triple Check.

    Mosey back to the flag for COT.

    NMM:
    YHC ended the disclaimer by asking TYA to complete the sentence: If a PAX is perfectly capable of performing an exercise, but chooses not to, then…. His response was “he’s a fish taco,” or something like that. PAX then proceeded to perform three exercises in honor of the Super Bowl-bound Atlanta Falcons.

    The Q’s counting was a little off due to lack of practice and deafening mumblechatter, but PAX seemed forgiving. The mumblechatter was reduced to stunned silence by the end of the beatdown. YHC will work on ways to spread it out a bit.

    After a swift kick out of bounds to get the Burpees going, the bear team scored within 10 seconds by threading a shot through the D and into the kid-sized goal (Marv? Singer? TYA? McRib? – it was a blur). PAX switched sides/positions, then Flipper willed a goal for the new bears. The 1-1 deadlock persisted for several minutes and a bazillion burpees, so YHC declared a golden goal overtime. The original bears scored within a minute for the victory. The losing team performed two sets of Mariah Careys, and the winning team performed one set of Hammer Dances.

    The Ascending Testicle was in honor of Sippy Cup and Chum Bucket who each posted solo to AOs in snowy freezing weather recently. Props to you gents, and hope your anatomy has dropped back into place.

    Best wishes to the PAX down and out with illnesses and injuries.

    Announcements:
    Lunch today at 12 at Wong’s.  Races: Belmonte (TYA) in March, Smoky Mountain (Swirly) and Ragnar (Toga) relays in April.  Suicide awareness and prevention golf tournament (Fudd) in April.

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRXtzsq4zl4

  • Texas Beach is Open for Business

    Four PAX emerged to open the trails for the few from RVA not at the Bear Creek.

    The THANG: Texas Beach, then loop around pipeline trail for about 4 miles total.  COT

    NMM: The PAX posted to the parking lot, each expecting to be the only runners this morning, but were rewarded with the company of three others with the same goals for the morning.  F3 delivers again.

    The parking lot was 100% F3 at the start of the run, and there were very few others on the trails.

    Cliffhanger (Rosie 2.0) is preparing for the track team in the spring.  Way to run today!  The PAX hopes F3 becomes a regular part of your preseason routine, and will be anxious to follow your season.

    It was great to have Aisle 5 back on the trails.  He claims to be haunted by YHC whispering in his ear whenever running uphill, even when YHC is right in front of him or 200 miles away.

    Best wishes to the Bear Creek crew.  PAX will be anxious for stories about the adventures there.

    Last Sunday, YHC’s car almost broke down on the way to the AO.  YHC was able to limp into the dealer and the M picked him up.  Lesson learned, though: regardless of how you want to dress for a workout, be prepared for a breakdown just in case!

    Rosie’s crew is getting geared up for the next trip to Mount Trashmore next Saturday.  Final details coming early this week.

     

  • Make Punisher Great Again

    Punisher has always been great.  7 PAX including 1 FNG posted on a chilly November morning to demonstrate why.

    The THANG:

    Mosey to the front field for COP IC: SSH x20, Pickle Pounders x10, Merkins x10, APDs x20, Stick in the Mud/Backlifts x10, Don Quixote x10

    Mosey to the end of the soccer field for Lindsays: Broad Jumps and Merkins.

    Mosey to the Pavilion for modified Dora 50-100-150: Box Jump Burpees, Weezy Jefferson/Kirk Cousins, Monkey Humpers

    Mosey to the playground for Cindy with a slide: 5 pull-ups, 10 merkins, 15 squats, then traverse the playground including the slide.  AMLAP.

    Mosey back to the front for Hands of Time.  Mosey back to the SF for COT.

    NMM:

    Welcome FNG Ronnie and welcome back to Speedo.  Speedo showed how to give all you’ve got, even completing an extra round of pullups.

    Broad jumps during Lindsays were an unexpected challenge.  The PAX rose to the occasion and powered through a difficult exercise.

    Several PAX commented on the holes in YHC’s sweatpants, but it was nothing YHC had not heard before.  If someone made functional pink leopard print duct tape, it would be on the pants.

    Lockjaw asked repeatedly how PAX should know when to go to the next exercise on the Cindys.  “When you are done with your reps” was not clear enough.  Toga rapid-fired several questions in an effort to increase confusion, and missed the part about going through the new playground.  Fudd will be pleased to know that his name was not mentioned.

    For those in the Merkin Challenge, PAX did 20 Merkins in the warmup, 100 during Lindsays, and 50 with 5 rounds of Cindys (mileage may vary) for ~170.

    Need a date this weekend?  Call Ronnie.  He now has Lindsay, Dora, and Cindy in his portfolio.

    Announcements:

    Another van to Va Beach this weekend.  Stay tuned for 2nd F details.

  • Voyage to the Old Worlds

    Four PAX launched their weeks in proper fashion with the Punisher.

    The Thang:

    Mosey to the concrete circle in front of the school for COP.  IC: SSH x25, Don Quixote x10, Arm Circles x10 forward/reverse, Stick in the Mud/back lifts x15, Merkins x10

    Mosey to the map on the basketball court, around where San Salvador Island would be.  In pairs, PAX voyage to different destinations for exercises, then return.

    Voyage 1: Monkey bars (audible: soccer goal) for 10x pull ups for each PAX

    Voyage 2: Corner at Labernum for 25x jump rope and 20x American Hammers

    Voyage 3: Front wall of school for 20x Donkey Kicks and Balls to the Wall

    Voyage 4: Pavilion for 20x Hail Marys

    Voyage 5: NW corner of property for 20x Plerkins

    Plank exercises in between.  Shuffle pairs of PAX after one set of voyages and repeat.  Voyage 1 was not repeated.

    Mosey to front of school for Hands of Time.  COT.

    NMM: Four voyages were planned, but one “old world,” the monkey bars, was closed for repairs.  PAX improvised with the soccer goal.  Chum devised a brilliant scheme where one PAX would plank on the back of the goal while the other completed pull ups on the upper 90 of the goal.  Still, the goals were slippery, and YHC was in need of a spot.  YHC asked TenCan for a two count, and TwoCan responded with a ten count.  Thanks for picking YHC up.

    Welcome to Ickey Shuffle, visiting from Charlotte.  He will be working with/for CapTech today and tomorrow, so CapTech PAX be on the lookout.

     

  • Pre-blast: Trails 101

    Trail-running PAX are anxious to get new people out on the trails on Sunday mornings.  YHC has heard from several that the mileage is too much.  That dog no longer hunts: starting Sunday, there will be 3-4 mile routes offered in addition to regular routes to allow new runners to build up stamina.

    Trail runs are at your own pace, and the PAX circles back every 1-1.5 miles to get the six.  No PAX left behind!

    Join the PAX on Sundays at 7am to experience: sunrises over the James River and cemeteries, trail mermaids, the Spur, the Sugar/Slingshot Tree, scratching the Nutsack Tree, and, an awesome 1st and 2nd F before you hustle home to get your 3rd F on!

     

     

  • Follow the Black-on-Pink Signs

    Four PAX tumbled out of the fartsack, one in bike shorts (yikes!), into a foggy muggy morning for a trail run.

    The THANG:  Northside to the southside.  COT.

    NMM: YHC began the morning by tapping the Offshore accounts and settling his gambling debts in DK’s survivor pool after the Aints dropped their opener to the Raiders last week.

    The PAX maintained a slow and steady pace and stayed together on a tough last summer morning.  Expectations were for something more like fall weather, but conditions were conducive to profuse sweating, leading some PAX to question whether they had made any gains after training all summer.  BRRers DK and TYA noted that the trails seemed so easy compared their legs last week.  Non-BRRers wondered how that could be.

    TYA could not wait for colder temps to bring out the tights, and so went with bike shorts.  A young woman with a pink leopard print steering wheel pulled up asking for directions to a restroom.  TYA claimed she just wanted a closer look, but the PAX weren’t buying it, nor his additional justifications throughout the run for bike shorts.

    The trail running PAX are anxious to get new runners out there, and are offering 3-4 mile routes.   Too-long routes are no longer an excuse!

    Announcements: Stay tuned for info on the Tidewater area launch.  Sign up for the Bear Creek 10-miler (12/4).

  • Field Trip to Bryan Park

    Four strong posted to get the week started out right at the Punisher.

    The THANG:

    COP:  SSH IC x30, Jack Hammers IC x20, Stick in the Mud IC x15, Peter Parker IC x20, Pickle Pounders IC x15

    Merkin Mile: Run to soccer field at Bryan Park.  Do 10 Merkins at each intersection OYO.

    One lap of four corners on one half of the soccer field: 10 Van Halen burpees, 20 Lt. Dans, 30 single count Penguins, plank, 20 shoulder taps IC.

    Mary Mile: Run back to Holton.  At each intersection, shoulder taps until six arrives, then dealer’s choice of a Mary exercise x10 IC (except for burpees).  Exercises included: American hammers, flutter kicks, LBCs, Freddie Mercurys, burpees, WWII situps, Hello Dollys, box cutters, APDs.

    Mosey to picnic benches.  Hail Mary x10, then partner run to monkey bars for pull ups x5.  Mosey to the SF.

    NMM:

    Toucan opened the AO this morning.  YHC was worried he had fallen asleep in his vehicle, but he emerged in time to put on an impressive performance during the workout.

    With most of the playground still out of commission, YHC felt the urge to get off campus.  Fresh from finishing Peter Parkers, Toga became one with an enormous spider web at the entrance to Bryan Park.  Thanks for clearing the way!

    Shortly thereafter, PAX were nearly trampled by a herd of pay-to-play runners in the park.

    Welcome back to Pat Down, back in Richmond for a few more weeks, this time with an upgraded bed at the hotel.  With all the time in Richmond, YHC thinks he is more RVA than CLT.

    Welcome back to BRRers – way to represent F3 RVA!  YHC is anxious to hear stories.  He has visions of other teams trembling in fear at the site of the Corporate vans.

    Announcements

    YHC and Johnsonville are anxious to get new runners out on the trail on Sunday mornings.  Plans are for two routes: a 3-4 mile route and a longer route.  The PAX runs 1-1.5 miles and then circle back for the six.  No PAX left behind!

    Spartan Run 9/24

  • Your Monkey Humper Form Needs Some Work

    7 strong posted to get the working week started right.  It was clear and cool, with almost no remnants of the humidity that suffocated the PAX on the trail run the day before.

    The THANG:

    COP: Willie Mays Hayes IC x20, Good Mornings(?) IC x20, Richard Kimbles x10 OYO, Carolina Dry Docks x20 IC

    Mosey to the pavilion for 15 minute AMLAP: Box-jump burpees (jump on picnic table seat) x10, bear crawl to shed, penguins x15 each side, run to basketball court, monkey humpers x30, run back to pavilion.  The PAX completed 4 laps.

    Mosey to the northwest corner.  Partner derkins x15 each.  Run to southwest, southeast, northeast corners, completing a round of partner derkins at each.  Goldberg gave us a 10 count.

    Mosey to the front of the school for Mary.  Spatula/Superman, American Hammers IC x20, Freddie Mercuries IC x20, LBCs IC x20.  Mosey back to the flag for COT.

    NMM:

    YHC had three workouts planned, depending on whether 1, 2-6, or >6 PAX showed.  Glad to have 7. The theme was to share some of the exercises YHC learned in travels over the summer.  Willie Mays Hayes and Spatula/Superman were from F3 Chapel Hill, AMLAP was from F3 Apex, partner derkins from F3 Cary, box jump burpees from peeking in on a personal training session in Bethesda, and monkey humpers from the monkees and gorillas at the Lincoln Park Zoo.

    Honeydo noted it was a difficult day to forget gloves with the box jump burpees in the gravel.   YHC was helped by callouses developed during Polar Bear Crawls with Swirly last Thursday back when he did remember his gloves.

    Glad to have Pat Down back out for another of YHC’s Qs – so it can’t be too bad.  Glad to have Splinter, Chum, and Bleeder back in town after recent trips.

    Announcements: Wear your flannel shirts for Dogpile.  There were rumors of DK’s first hate-free workout (tomorrow?).  Goldberg’s brother-in-law is moving to RVA and will be looking for automotive/construction work.