Author: Lockjaw

  • Menage a Merkin

    Seven studs, many who double posted today, arrived for the second Lockjaw beat down of the day.

    COP – In the shade of a small tree.

    • SSH
    • Imperial Walkers,
    • Don Quixote
    • Helicopters

    On the side of the school, Triple Check!

    • Two partners do Plerkins while the other runs to the lamp post on the road and back.  Cycle through the positions three times.

    Over to the picnic shelter for Lindsays: dips off the benches and box cutters.

    Mosey over to the playground which was occupied by little kids fully enjoying all it had to offer.  Partner up in the shade of the tree behind the playground for 11s.

    Exercise 1 – Boo-Yah Merkins

    Exercise 2 Captain Thors

    As there were 7, we had a three man Boo-Yah set going.  Just don’t make eye contact…..

    Long mosey to the front of the school.  Partner up for Doras.

    Partner 1 – Runs to the road and back

    Partner 2 – 100 Donkey Kicks, 200 Oblique Crunches, 300 Flutter Kicks

    Back up on the wall for a round of Chicken Peckers.  Drop down for lengthy elbow plank.

    Mosey over to the front parking lot for a little Merkin Shuffle.  Pick a quantity between 1-5 and a style of Merkin.  Pax performs exercise and pass to the left for something different.

    Drop down for Alabama Prom Dates and finish with Superman.

    Chum Bucket took us out.

    NMS

    It was great to be back at the Punisher after so much time away.  Thanks for the local Pax coming out to in force tonight as well.

    AOs look entirely different in the daylight and this one is no exception.  It’s odd to deal with the sun and crowds at the AO (such as a couple of kids at the playground), but we managed.

    Announcements:

    • Home run derby tomorrow – See preblast or Gumbo for details
    • This Thursday – paddling on the river (water permitting) at 6:00 pm from the Huguenot Bridge.  No experience necessary and space in the tandem for those who want to give it a try.  See Lockjaw for details.
    • July 4 Convergence – Hot Potato down on Belle Isle.

     

    Time to Taper,

    Lockjaw

     

  • Neighborhood Watch

    When YHC arrived, the Pax was light in numbers, but the Pax converged quickly with Mr Holland having three seconds to spare.  Mr Holland is the Atomic Clock.

    COP

    • SSH
    • Russian Soldiers
    • Don Quixote (no Saab, so we went at a medium pace)
    • Helicopters

    Mosey across the front of the school and to the shopping center parking lot.  Line up for some 11s.

    • 2 count mountain climbers and Carolina dry docks
    • Run about 10 parking spaces between sets
    • Once we exhausted the parking spaces, we crossed Ridge and headed down Holmes to finish

    In the Kanawha parking lot, partner up for some Doras.

    • Partner 1 runs from the speed bump to the dumpster and back
    • Partner so does 100 reverse lunges, 200 monkey humpers, 300 flutter kicks

    Karaoke a block down Ralston and then Karaoke facing the other way another block.  Bear crawl down the hill on University Drive.  Partner carries up the other side of the hill.

    Run to the next stop sign at Ridge and elbow plank for the six.  Cross the road and Catch Me If You Can for a long block to Westham Parkway.  Partner 1 runs backwards.  Partner 2 does 5 HRM and runs forward to catch him.  Reverso.

    Hang a left on Westham Parkway and perform an exercise when you come to each intersection:

    • Sunset – 10 Boo-Yah Merkins
    • Lakewood- 20 PLT for partner 1
    • Hillsdale – 20 PLT for Partner 2
    • Lindsay – 20 Box Cutters (turn left of Lindsay)
    • West Drive – 10 Dive Bombers
    • Lindsay – 5 Burpees

    Back to the VSF for Merkin Ring of Fire:  Call out a number 1-5 and a style of Merkin for the Pax to perform.  Pass clockwise and the next Pax must call out a different number and style of Merkin.

    Finish with some American Hammers.

    YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    • Today! –  double dip opportunity at 6:30 pm – Come out to the Punisher and get a second Lockjaw Q
    • Home run derby tomorrow – See preblast or Gumbo for details
    • This Thursday – paddling on the river (water permitting) at 6:00 pm from the Huguenot Bridge.  No experience necessary and space in the tandem for those who want to give it a try.  See Lockjaw for details.
    • July 4 Convergence – Hot Potato down on Belle Isle.

    Always Be Tapering,

    Lockjaw

  • Pre-Blast – Down the River

    With the assumption that water levels keep to their projections, we are going to venture forward on our first trip down the river this Thursday (6/28) at 6pm.

    If water levels cooperate, we will meet at Huguenot Flatwater under the bridge for an out and back excursion.  If we have high water, we may opt for a Robious to Huguenot downstream run.

    If you are interested, let me know who is a HC by Wednesday evening so we can plan accordingly.  For those without access to a boat, we may have a few extra spots available as well so don’t let that hold you back.

    ABT,

    Lockjaw

  • An Awesome Opossum

    Fifteen of our finest stallions tackled today’s workout by foot and pedal with all distances covered.

    Reverse Carillon route was called and off we went.  The water was thick in the air and deep on the ground and the pace was cruising.

    We ran into the seals at the Carillon doing crabwalks and being instructed to keep moving by someone who was not moving.  Huh.

    The backblast title comes from a critter that Labrat saw who gave him a salute with an opposable digit.  Labrat thinks it was a thumbs up while I think he was flippin the bird.  Regardless, that’s what made him awesome.

    Loose Goose took us out.

    Announcements:

    • June 23 (tomorrow) – Puppy Pile at Carillon at 7:05.  Bring the 2.0s and a frisbee.
    • June 25 – YHC will Q Punisher Resurrection – 1830 in the evening.  Let’s get some numbers out for this fine AO.
    • July 10 – Ultimate Frisbee at Heartbreak Ridge

    Time to Taper,

    Lockjaw

  • Peloton

    15 Pax with two wheels assembled for a sight to be seen.  Originally thought to be a ride to Starbucks, we just kept on going since we were having so much fun.  The route was down Grove and cut over to UR.  A scenic tour of the campus and back up the hills surrounding CCV to return via Grove to the Shovel Flag.

    We merged with the RAMM Pax and Flashdance took us out.

    NMS:

    I think the 4 semi-pro bikers had concern with us not making it back alive due to our self-proclaimed amateur status and freewheelin’ style.  Peewee, No Tools, Clavin, and Wheelie herded us like a flock of sheep checking on the strays and keeping us moving.

    We had a bunch of mountain bikes from various college experiences.  Old bikes, new bikes, and some in between.  BT gets points for cleanest bike.  Mint condition.  He must shrink wrap it when not in use.  I am finding the Vinny is always all in.  He could of brought his mountain bike, but instead borrowed a beach cruiser for full amateur effect complete with fenders!  He does love a themed workout.

    One could hear the squealing of brakes that haven’t been used in years and the mis-shifting of gears (at least on YHC’s derailer challenged bike) for miles.

    It was great to lead this fine group this morning.  Perhaps this will be a recurring event?

    ABT,

    Lockjaw

  • While your dad is away, let me tell you what a Libertarian is.

    37 Warriors including several 2.0s came out for the rarest of rarities, a Lockjaw Dogpile Q.

    Long mosey down the road to the far circle beyond the Carillon.

    COP

    • Arm Circles (Flashdance was present)
    • Helicopters
    • SSH
    • Don Quixote
    • Russian Soldiers
    • Imperial Walkers

    Line up on the street heading downhill for 11s:

    10 Carolina Dry Docks, 1 Captain Thor; Bear Crawl 10 paces for the next series of reps

    Trot down the road a bit and turn into Pump House Park, cross the canal and hang a right heading to the end of the line maybe 150 yards down.  Partner up for Dora!

    • Partner 1 runs the loop back to the pump house and back (perhaps the longest run to date for Dora)
    • Partner 2 does 100 Copperhead Squats, 200 Monkey Humpers 300 Flutter Kicks

    Mosey on back to the pump house and return to the road at the bottom of the pipeline.

    Triple Check!

    • Partner 1 – Run up the pipeline and back down the trail
    • Partner 2 – Elbow Plank,
    • Partner 3 – American Hammers

    Mosey down the road to Love Hill and run most of the way up.  Lunge walk the remainder of way until the 6 catches up, run to the Shovel Flag.

    YHC asked Flashdance and Fudd to each say a little something to take us out.

    NMS

    Wow!  37.  It’s like a mini convergence.  Great to see so many familiar and new faces.  The following happened, more or less.

    The Pax explored new territory in Pump House Park heading almost all the way to the end to where George Washington once enjoyed lunch while waiting to discuss the Kanawha canal project with others.  Alas, they stood him up and he had his lunch.  So when you were laying down doing your flutter kicks, GW might have had a nap in that precise location.

    On the the pipeline is where most of today’s humor landed.  When Flashdance is partnered with Hardywood (and someone else), hilarity ensured.  Hardywood used each time Flashdance was running the pipeline to impart his wisdom to Flashdance’s 2.0.

    Round 1 – “Do you know what a Libertarian is?”  Taxation explained with a PB&J and the government taking their share.

    Round 2 – Adding honey to your PB&J when it is a controlled substance.  The government places you in prison with those who blow up sandwiches.

    Round 3 – Estate Planning – Once the government takes most of the sandwich, your sister lives off of what’s left rest with a drummer from a band.

    At least Flashdance didn’t need to explain Monkey Humpers on the way home.

    There was a bit of running today.  Someone clocked us about 3.4 miles.  Well, I guess that is what the Pax gets when YHC does not get his Friday RAMM Q.

    We had two FNGs today, both of which we changed their names.  Welcome FNGs Callahan and Safety Dance.  Callahan was temporarily named Sparks then we changed it to Dingo, then Tommy Boy, before YHC landed on Tommy Boy’s last name of Callahan.  Callahan will serve this FNG with more versatility.

    YHC changed Polamalu to Safety Dance since he played safety on the University of Richmond football team.  He is wicked fast and came full speed today.

    TYA and Snowden joined us at ETs.

    Announcements:

    • June 15 – Amateur RAMMs Gears day.  Bring your Schwinn.  Bring your Huffy.  Bring some money for Starbucks.  See Lockjaw.
    • June 23 – Puppy Pile – Bring those 2.0s for a Sippy Cup beat down.
    • July 4 – Convergence at the Tredegar.  Kubota has Q.
    • Fudd and Flashdance are leaving town.  Mr. Roper is leading a a HDHH in their honor.  Pre-blast pending.

    Time to Taper,

    Lockjaw

     

  • Pitch Perfect

    14 on the finest arrived for unseasonably low humidity and a chance to tackle some miles.  YHC called the Cardinal Run and off we went.

    Around the Robins Center and up Boatwright.  Take Honaker to Patterson and take a right followed by an immediate left on Roxbury.  Roxbury to West Franklin and head west.

    At the intersection of Charles, 5s/6s take a right and take an out and back detour to Crestview Elementary (home of the Cardinals).  All routes then continue west on W. Franklin to Donald. Take a left and Donald turns into Register Pkwy.

    At Patterson and Three Chopt, 6s continue west on Patterson to Westham Pkwy and a left on University Dr to come through the trails to the lake.

    4s and 5s head south on Three Chopt and take a right on the access road just beyond Bandy Field.  Drop down the hill on the trail and pick up the road.  Take the cut through back to the main UR entrance and come down around the Robins Center to the lake.

    Gomer Pyle took us out.

    Mumble chatter was light at the end, however a subset of the Pax was singing the accolades of Pitch Perfect.  YHC inquired if that was the one with Jimmy Fallon (Fever Pitch) but was informed Pitch Perfect was not about baseball in any way.

    Welcome Gomer Pyle’s 2.0 “Tippecanoe”.  Hopefully that name nicely combines your interest in politics and military strategy.

    Announcements:

    • Ronnie’s on the mend.  Hopefully we will see him “back” in action soon.
    • June 15 – Amateur day at RAMM GEARs.  Bring any bike and be prepared to be underwhelmed.  See Lockjaw for details.
    • June 23 – Puppy Pile – 2.0 friendly workout after Dogpile.  Sippy is on point to kick it off.
    • July 4 – Convergence downtown.  Patriots welcome.
    • Once the river levels drop, YHC is going to get an off the books kayak/canoe group together.  See Lockjaw for details.

    Time to Taper,

    Lockajaw

  • Outback Aviators

    15 redwoods descended upon the tropical rain forest known as Mary Munford.  The Garmin clicked 530 and off we went.

    COP

    • Arm Circles – small, big, forward, and reverse
    • Don Quixote – Stretch it out!
    • Box Cutters
    • Hill Billies
    • Copperhead Squats

    Mosey to the west end of the soccer field and line up.  Perform 11s with merkins and American hammers as the exercises.

    Elbow plank at the other side.

    For the round trip, partner up for partner carry.  Stop half way and perform 5 dive bombers and swap roles to finish the field and perform 5 more dive bombers.

    Oblique crunches – 20 on the left, 20 on the right.  Spooning optional.

    PLTs – 25 per partner, 2 times through

    Oblique crunches – 20 on the left, 20 on the right.

    Elbow plank

    Off to the back of the school for triple check.

    • Partner 1 – Karioke across the blacktop to the fence and perform three burpees and karioke back
    • Partner 2 – Elbow planks
    • Partner 3 – BTTW

    Line up on the wall for Chicken Peckers ROF style – 8-4 count pecks

    Mosey to the side of the blacktop to finish with Doras.  As partner 1 runs the length of the blacktop, partner 2 performs 100 WWII sit ups, 200 monkey humpers (best done under the cover of darkness, which we did not have), and 300 flutter kicks (2 count).

    Back to the flag where YHC took us out.

    NMS

    Not too much mumble chatter this morning, but when we departed for the COP, YHC could hear a faint conversation between two Pax about bush and landing strips.  I believe it came up again briefly en route to COT.  Who knew we had Pax experienced in landing in the Australian outback!  We also now know what they think about when they mosey.

    Keep Ronnie in your thoughts as he gets his back mended on Monday.  With a speedy recovery, we could see him mid-summer amidst the Pax once more.  After the Pax expressed concern for Ronnie’s well being, they began speculating about how he injured his back.  For many of the Pax, the last Ronnie sighting was at Hoedown during CSAUP.  He administered the fun zone complete with bow tie while referring to himself in the third person.  Is there a correlation between that event and this injury?  Maybe only Pucker knows as fun zone co-chair…

    TYA, Swirly, and Circle K are going to embark on their ultra adventure this weekend.  Keep that team in your minds as they travel forward to conquer their challenge.

    Announcements:

    • Amateur RAMM gears biking day – June 15 – Don’t let this stop on the summer tour pass you by.
    • Puppy Pile – June 23 – See Sippy for details, otherwise meet at Dogpile at 7.
    • July 4 convergence – Kubota sent a pre-blast out on that.
    • With river levels bound to drop at some point, YHC is going to start hitting the river Thursday evenings (and possibly on the weekend as well).  If other Pax are interested in flatwater kayaking/canoeing, let Lockjaw know and we can do something off the books.  We can come up with extra boats if someone has interest, but no boat.  No banjos required.

    Time to Taper,

    Lockjaw

  • Tick Check

    What started as an elite 8, but our numbers became 10 as a couple of LIFOs rolled in.

    COP

    • Helicopters
    • Don Quixote
    • Russian Soldiers
    • SSH
    • Carolina Dry Docks

    Over to the Rusty Cage – 7 pull ups/7 jerkins x 3

    Elbow plank for 90 seconds!

    Mosey over to the bottom of Love Hill and partner up again.

    • Partner 1 runs to the top of the hill (first small sapling beyond the last big tree)
    • Partner 2 performs Bear Crawls.  Swap positions and then repeat with lunges and bunny hops.

    With your partner, 8 Boo-Yah merkins.

    Mosey to the amphitheater and starting at the bottom, do ascending dips on each step until you reach the top.

    Find the nice grass at the top and elbow plank for 90 seconds.

    Circle up for Merkin Shuffle.  Pax member can call 1, 3, or 5 reps and then the merkin exercise for the entire Pax to perform.  Pass to your left and one cannot call the same count as your predecessor.

    A couple of minutes of Mary.

    Mosey back to the VSF.

    YHC took us out.

    NMS

    Our numbers were small but mighty when we started, and grew to a solid 10.  Lot’s of mumble chatter from Saab and Hardywood in the COP but it was pretty funny.  Something about studying gorillas and Saab….

    Strong work today all around by the Pax, especially on Love Hill.  The neighborhood canines were on ropes and didn’t give us trouble.  Lot’s of good creativity shown in the merkin shuffle.  We didn’t repeat the same exercise twice.

    The grass is starting to get tall at the AO and Labrat found a tick on him.  Whether the tick was already on Labrat prior to the workout or picked up in one of our several exercises in the grass remains a mystery at this moment.

    Announcements:

    • June 15 – Special RAMM Gears amateur day.  Bring your bike, helmet, reflective gear, Starbuck’s money, and we will set forth on an adventure at a medium pace.  Bonus points for tandems, adults riding kid’s bikes, unicycles, or old school bikes with one large front wheel and a small one in the rear (handlebar mustache optional).  See Lockjaw for details.
    • June 23 – Puppy Pile – Bring your 2.0s.  See Sippy Cup for details.
    • Rumors of a Punisher Resurrection meet up in the future.  Yes, this is for the Summer Tour and not the next season of Marvel’s Punisher series on Netflix (though that would be pretty cool).
    • Good luck to our brothers running for 12 hours this weekend.  TYA, Swirly, and Circle K (?)

    Always Be Tapering,

    Lockjaw

  • Sweats Up!

    15 emerged from post holiday (as well as basketball and hockey) slumbers for this week’s Spider Run.

    The Kanawha route was called in 4, 5, and 6 mile variations.  Out the River Rd entrance and hang a left and then immediate right in front of the shopping center.  Hang a right on Westham Station and begin the ascent up a nice hill.  Hang a right at the top onto Country Squire which will put you out on Westham Pkwy.

    4s – Hang a right on University Dr and back to campus with a lap and half around the lake.

    5s/6s – Hang a left on University Drive, right on Ralston, left on University Dr to Ziontown.  Cross Ridge and cut through the parking lot to Forest.

    5s take a right on Lakewood and then a right on Westham Parkway and a left on University Drive to return to the lake.

    6s take a left on Forest and then a right on Rock Creek, right on Baldwin, and a right on Westham Pkwy.  Take a left on University Drive to return to the lake.

    Bleeder took us out.

    Announcements:

    • Summer Challenge is in full effect.  Sign up!
    • Puppy Pile on 6/23 – Sippy will kick things off.

    Time to Taper,

    Lockjaw