Author: MACHINEHEAD

  • 0530: COP (Warm-Up) — Upper Parking Lot

    5 Minutes — 10-15 Reps Each, Cadence-Led

    • Side Straddle Hops (SSH) (In Cadence)
    • Imperial Squat Walkers (In Cadence)
    • Cherry Pickers (In Cadence)
    • Donkey Hotties (In Cadence)
    • World’s Greatest Stretch (Oyo)

    Mosey down to the lower parking lot fence.

    0535: The “Thang 1” — No-Run Fence Elevens

    12 Minutes — Continuous Muscle Flip

    No running, no filler space. The PAX stayed directly under or next to the lower fence rail, rolling straight from one exercise into the next to keep constant tension on the upper body.

    • Exercise A: Jerkens (Feet on ground, body angled under the fence rail, pulling chest to bar).
    • Exercise B: Merkins (Flipped over right next to the bar).

    Mosey to the football field. I had cut, begged, borrowed, and stolen 6 ropes, but when we started pulling on them the goalposts started wobbling more than an FNG merkin. This is when SCRAM told us he couldn’t go to jail again, an interesting revelation. YHC decided to scrap the piece of this workout I spent the most time on and modify, modify, modify. One rope thrown over each goalpost.

    0547: The “Thang 2” — Split-Endzone Grinder

    22 Minutes — 4 Full Rotations

    The 9-man PAX split into one group of 5 (North Endzone) and one group of 4 (South Endzone), utilizing one rope per goalpost.

    [ GOALPOST ] 
   |
   +-- Station 1 (THE TIMER): 15 Y-Ups + 15 T-Ups
   |
   +-- Station 2: Plank Hold
   |
   +-- Station 3: Air Squats
   |
   +-- Station 4: Field Sprints (Continuous back-and-forth across the endzone/field)

    The Rotation Mechanic:

    • The Timer: Person 1 hits the rope for 15 Y-ups and 15 T-ups.
    • The Burnout: The rest of the group continuously performs their station (Plank, Squats, or Field Sprints) until the Timer finishes his 30 total reps.
    • The Shift: On the Timer’s “ROTATE!” call, everyone shifts down one station, sending the Field Sprinter onto the rope.
    • The Volume: The PAX pushed through 4 full rotations, ensuring everyone got multiple heavy cycles on the ropes and plenty of cardio mileage.

    0609: The “Thang 3” — Resisted Hill Sprints

    6 Minutes — Light-Post Relays

    Mosey back toward the upper lot. The ropes were repurposed for heavy lower-body resistance work on the incline.

    • The Setup: One PAX wraps the middle of the rope around his waist. Two other PAX members grab the ends of the rope to act as human anchors, creating high-tension resistance.
    • The Execution: The runner drives hard up the hill against the resistance, fighting the incline and the anchors for the distance between two light posts.
    • The Swap: Once the light post is reached, the PAX quickly rotates roles so a new runner can torch their legs on the next segment.

    0615: COT

    Arrive at the upper lot flag. Count-a-rama, Name-a-rama, and the Circle of Trust.

  • The Burp Cannal

    Named for its resemblance to giving birth, the burp canal was introduced today and is explained below in part 2 of the thang.

    Warm-A-Rama

    • The Mosey: Long mosey all the way around the perimeter of all the fields, wrapping up dead center in the middle of one of the soccer fields.
    • The Circle:
    • 30 Side Straddle Hops (4-count IC)
    • 10 Don Quixotes (4-count IC)
    • 15 Cherry Pickers (4-count IC)
    • 5 World’s Greatest Stretches (On each side, holding the deep runner’s lunge and T-spine rotation)

    The Thang

    Part 1: The Core Ignition (8 Minutes)

    Straight from the warm-up into a sustained core block to build structural tension for the rest of the morning.

    • 30 World War IIs (Single count)
    • 30 American Hammers (4-count IC)
    • 30 Plank Jacks (4-count IC)
    • 30 Freddy Mercurys (4-count IC)
    • Static Plank Hold (Until the 8-minute buzzer)

    Part 2: “The Burp Canal” (Burpee Circle)

    The Pax split into groups of three for a continuous, high-speed rotation. One man drops for 2 burpees while the other two partners stand guard and shout out the cumulative escalating count in unison.

    • The Clock: 15 intense minute or 250 burpees whichever come first.
    • The Champions: L woods, Dookie, and Last Call took the crown, pushing their group’s running total to a massive 250 total burpees.

    Part 3: The Winner’s Choice Dora (1-2-3 Split)

    As the victors of the Burp Canal, the winning trio earned the right to call the exercises for the Dora, keeping the rep scheme but changing up the movements:

    • 100 LBCs (Little Baby Crunches)
    • 200 Monkey Humpers
    • 300 Raise the Roofs
    • Timer: Partner 1 runs the soccer field lap while Partner 2 works through the reps.

    Part 4: The Toll Road

    • The Reverse Mosey: Jogged backwards tracking the exact path we took to get out to the soccer fields.
    • Paying the Toll: Stopped at the toll point to pay up before hitting the home stretch:
    • 30 Durkins (Decline Merkins)
    • 20 Downward Merkins

    Mary & COT

    • Returned to the basketball courts for a targeted 8-minute cool-down consisting of various ab exercises and deep lower-back stretches to unpack the spine after all those monkey humpers.
    • Count-a-rama, Name-a-rama, and a prayer of gratitude.

    Naked Moleskin

    Fifteen minutes of continuous burpees is a mental game as much as a physical one. Watching the counts climb past 100, then 200, all while shouting over each other in the dark is what F3 is all about. An incredible effort by L woods, Dookie, and Last Call to set the pace at 250 reps. Letting the winning group select the Dora exercises was a brutal twist—turns out “Raise the Roofs” feels like cruel and unusual punishment by rep 200 after that many burpees. Clean work out there, men.

  • Riverside “Quad-Check

    The COP (Warm-up)

    ​Mosey over to Riverside School to prime the engines.

    • ​Side Straddle Hops (SSH) – IC
    • ​Don Quixotes – IC
    • ​Cherry Pickers – IC
    • ​World’s Greatest Stretch – OYO
    • ​The Opus – IC

    ​The Thang: Part 1 (The Rim-Wrecker & Leg Destroyer)

    • ​Basketball Court 11s: Started on one baseline with 10 Wide-Grip Merkins, sprinted to the opposite baseline for 1 Diamond Merkin. Scaled all the way down to 1 Wide / 10 Diamonds.
    • ​Playground Leg Destroyer: Hit the playground equipment for 4 rounds of pure leg smoke:
      • ​5 Bulgarian Split Squats (BSS) on each leg.
      • ​Lunge Walk across the playground.
      • ​5 BSS on each leg at the opposite side.

    ​The Thang: Part 2 (The Hill Quad-Check)

    ​With a solid crew of 4, we audibled into a brutal Quad-Check on the hill.

    • ​Station 1 (The Timer): Run down the hill, sprint across the field, touch the tree, sprint back across the field, and grind back up the hill.
    • ​Station 2: Little Baby Crunches (LBCs) until relieved.
    • ​Station 3: Alabama Prom Dates until relieved.
    • ​Station 4: Leg Lowers until relieved. (Rotated until all PAX completed the tree run 3 times).

    ​The Burnout & Finisher

    • ​Handrail Burnout: Sprinted over to the elementary school handrails for a high-intensity burnout set of Jerkins to empty whatever was left in the chest and triceps.
    • ​Mosey back to the flag for the COT.

  • Operation: Save My Baby Girls’ Soles

    The Mission

    The PAX gathered this morning not just to get better, but to assist the Q in a high-stakes, fraternal negotiation. After a certain unnamed brother-in-arms held the Q’s two daughters’ shoes hostage following a recent drop-off, a classic F3 headlock ensued: “You want the glass slippers back? You have to Q a beatdown at a brand new location.”

    Hostage situation accepted. Ransom paid in full via sweat, coupons, and a 100-yard field of pain. Here is how it went down:

    The Warm-Up (COP)

    After a brief disclaimer ensuring everyone knew we were lifting heavy metal at our own risk, we kicked off with a standard warm-up to prep the shoulders and hips:

    • Side Straddle Hops (SSH)
    • Imperial Squat Walkers
    • Cherry Pickers
    • Don Quixotes
    • Arm Circles (Forward & Reverse)
    • The Opus
    • World’s Greatest Stretch

    The Thang

    Part 1: The Coupon Field Walk

    The PAX grabbed their coupons (kettlebells) and hit the goal line of the football field.

    • Every 10 yards, the PAX performed 5 Single-Arm Coupon Cleans on the Right arm, and 5 on the Left arm.
    • We then Mule Carried the coupons to the next 10-yard line and repeated all the way down the field.
    • On the return trip, we modified the spacing to every 20 yards, executing 5 Row Your Boat Merkins (Merkin + Right Row + Left Row = 1 Rep) at each stop.

    Part 2: Far End Zone “Triple Check”

    Once the PAX successfully navigated the field, we locked into a three-man Grinder rotation to really max out the clock:

    • Partner 1 (The Timer): Sprinted the entire length of the 100-yard football field and back.
    • Partner 2: Max reps of Kettlebell Overhead Presses.
    • Partner 3: Max reps of World War II Sit-ups.
    • The PAX rotated through until everyone completed the full 300-yard sprint.

    Part 3: The Near End Zone Burnout & Return

    To finish off the field work, the PAX circled up for a final abdominal smoke-show:

    • American Hammers (In Cadence) until the core was completely spent.
    • The Hill Climb: We picked up our coupons for one final, heavy mosey up the hill back to the shovel flag.

    COT (Circle of Trust)

    • Count-o-rama & Name-o-rama
    • Announcements & Prayer Requests

    Moleskin: Huge respect to the PAX for embracing the coupon work today and helping the Q redeem himself as a father. The shoes have been secured, the legs are burning, and the leadership bars have been raised. It’s an honor to lead you men. See you in the gloom next time!

  • The Birthing Canal

    This backblast is very late. Four weeks late to be exact.

    The Warm-O-Rama

    ​We kicked things off with a mosey around the back right soccer field to get the blood flowing, eventually circling back to the parking lot for:

    • ​Side Straddle Hops
    • ​Don Quixotes
    • ​Cherry Pickers

    ​The Groundwork (Shoulder Burn):

    Before leaving the pavement, we dropped down for some intensive shoulder and chest work:

    • ​Macho Diaz
    • ​Around the World
    • ​Merkins
    • ​Bear Crawls
    • ​World’s Greatest Stretch (Much needed after that smoke session)

    ​The Thang: The Circuit

    ​The PAX moseyed over to the playground for a high-intensity circuit. We stayed in the “grinder” for roughly 25 minutes, conquering the following:

    1. ​The Birthing Canal: A tactical crawl through the tunnel.
    2. ​The Hill: Bear crawl up and over the center mound.
    3. ​The Descent: Rope climb down.
    4. ​The Spider Web: A full traversal around the rope-climbing equipment.
    5. ​Jerkings: Pull-ups/Rows performed on the hanging rope swing.
    6. ​The Bridge: Wheelbarrow walks across the play equipment.
    7. ​The Reset: Renegade Rows with cinder blocks before starting the lap again.

    ​6 Minutes of Mary

    ​We circled up in the middle for a round-robin style Mary. Each member of the PAX called out an ab exercise of their choice to finish off the core.

    ​COT (Circle of Trust)

    • ​Count-o-rama
    • ​Name-o-rama
    • ​Announcements
    • ​Prayer

  • Bon Air Biker Gang Meet Garden flag warriors

    Four unusual things happened this workout.

    1. Pallino joined us up from the Carolinas for a wedding.
    2. This Q requested a flag the night before and Trogan delivered a gorgeous example of why this Q should have his own flag in the future. Trogans garden flag was covered in enough sunshine, tassels, flowers, and colors to fill the gloom with the booming laughter of 10 HIMS.
    3. We found a Bon Air biker gang sleeping under the riverside playground and woke them with a manly set of arm cirlces, Don Qioxtes, Cherry Pickers, worlds greatest stretch, ect.
    4. We practiced some emergency procedures covering everything from what to do with an unconsious him to a 3-man carry across the field

    Warmarama:

    Mosey to riverside to wake up the biker gang as explained above.

    The Thang:

    1. 10 Bulgarian Split quats on each low brick bench with lunges to connect them (80 in total)
      • This burned out those beautiful butts
    2. Incline/Decline Merkin circle around the Gaga-Pit
      • 10 incline or decline Merkins on each of the Gaga-pit sections rotating counter clockwise
      • This really impressed the biker gang, but not the PAX, it was too hard for anyone and YHC learned to bring it down a notch next time
    3. Emergency proticals and carries across the field.
      • “What would happen if one of us dropped unconcious in the field here?”
      • “Call 911,” responded the PAX
      • “Does anyone have a phone?”
      • The pax was silent except for DTH who commented we could beg one off the Bon Air Biker gang above us
      • “Should we try to move them?”
      • “No!” correctly answered the PAX
      • While that is correct, that is exactly what we are going to practice
      • The pax proceeded to ferry HIMS back and forth across the field using 2 man and 3 man carries.
    4. Mosey to the Elementary school playground for our final burnout: 25 Jerkins in cadence
    5. Mosey back to the Garden flag for 5 minutes of Marry

    COT

    Don’t forget we will go to Dogpile on the 13th to send off Flatline and that same day we will send off NTB at DTH’s.

    This Thursday is DTH’s 500th Q.

  • “Was this your VQ?”

    warmarama:

    We kicked things off with a downhill parking lot run, mixing in high knees, butt kicks, and karaoke on the way down. Stretch: Worlds Greatest, Don-Quiote, Quad, Cherry-picker

    The Thang:

    COP#1: 11’s

    10 Jerkins (on a bar that runs along the sidewalk above the tenis courts) and 1 Merkin.

    COP#2: TourDeStade with dips

    Next, we headed to the stadium for a partner Tour De Stade (touch every stair twice). One partner did dips while the other ran up and down the stairs, then we switched and moved to the next set of stairs. Solid teamwork kept everyone together and having fun.

    COP#3: 200m Sprint with partners and a twist

    Hit the track for 200m sprints with a twist: at the 100m mark, everyone stopped for 20 Merkins before finishing the sprint. The group was smoked after that, so we took a quick 20-count recovery led by Snip.

    COP#4: Evolution

    On the football field we “Evolved” from a ameba, to a worm, to a crab, to a bear, to a man.

    • Pencil roll to the 20-yard line
    • Inchworm to the 40
    • Crab walk to the 60
    • Bear crawl to the 80
    • Broad jump burpees to finish it off

    COP#5: Catch me if you can

    We wrapped up at the tennis courts with Catch Me If You Can: one person running circles around the court while the other did exercises, switching back and forth until the round was complete.

    1. Lunge
    2. Side Squat
    3. Bear Crawl

    COP#6: Evolution

    With about 7 minutes left, we circled up for Five Minutes of Mary — each PAX called and led an ab exercise in turn. This became 6-1/2 minutes of Mary and a unplanned hill-sprint back to the COT.

    COT: Countarama, Namarama, announcements and prayer.

    Great work this morning, men. We covered a lot of ground and got after it. Thanks for pushing through!

  • Let’s Try that Again!

    I loved last weeks workout, but not everyone finished it so I thought I’d drop the gauntlet by both making it harder and telling the PAX that no one had finished this last week. The PAX did not disappoint, pushing themselves like men possessed to finish more exercises 5 minutes earlier.

    Mosey the ¾ miles around the school.

    warmarama:

    SSH, Don Quixote’s, Cherry Pickers, worlds greatest stretch, Merkins.

    The Thang:

    Mosey to the playground:

    30 Jerkins on the low bars, “on my up.”

    COP#1: Catch me if you can

    • Pair off
    • One person runs to the fence, back to the playground for 10 jerkins and then relieves their partner who is slowly inchworming across field to the same fence

    Mosey to the benches

    COP#2: Four corners prostitute style “because you need nicer abs to work corners in bon air.”

    • 25 Dips,
    • 50 Alabama Prom Dates,
    • 75 American Hammers,
    • 100 Flutter kicks.

    COP # 3: Catch me if you can again. “You are going to work your way around this Diamond three times for a grand slam.”

    • Pair up
    • One person does the exercise around the diamond while the other runs until the lap the first person and then they switch. This continues until you have completed one lap of each exercise.
      • Bear Crawls
      • Broad jump burpees
      • Sideways Squat’s

    COP #4: Circle of Pain

    Exercises included: WWII’s, Cruntchy frogs, merkins, worlds greatest stretch, ect.

    COT: Countarama, Warmarama, anouncements and prayer.

  • Tour – De – Stade

    Warm-Up.
    The PAX Mosey’d to the football field and then winded it’s way like a snake from Greek mythology up and down, down and up through the stairs on the bleachers. Mumble chatter about “skipping,” the stretches were heard from the unhappy serpent until we arrived at the top of the last set of stairs.

    Circle up:

    • Cherry Pickers x 10 IC
    • Worlds Greatest stretch 10 OYO
    • Arm Circles fwd/bwd x10 IC 
    • Imperial Walkers x15 IC

    I proceeded to miss-name exercises and ruin the “Next exorcise, In Cadence, ready position, move,” procedure, but my supportive PAX was quick retrain me. Here I thought I was a big bad Q with 2 notches in my belt, but I clearly have some homework.

    Thang 1: “Tour – De – Stade” The pax will revisit the bleachers to touch every stair twice

    Set-up: 8 stair sections; assign 1 pair per section to start (staggered). 

    Per cycle (together or alternate): 

    • Run up stairs to top → 10 Dips
    • Run down stairs → 10 Merkins

    – After completing aisle, move right to next section & repeat. 

    – At far right end, mosey back to far left & loop again. 

    Transition: The PAX regrouped at the bottom of the bleachers and did air squats till the six joined us. Then we ran to the football field.

    Thang 2: Field Mary Suicides  

    Set up: Start in end zone. Suicide-style: sprint to each line (10, 20, 30, 40, 50 yd), do full reps of listed exercise, sprint back. Advance to next line after completing previous. 

      – 10 yd: 10 Australian Snow Angels 

      – 20 yd: 20 WWII’s

      – 30 yd: 30 American Hammers 

      – 40 yd: 40 Alabama Prom Dates

      – 50 yd: 50 Flutter Kicks 

    Thang 3: Dora

    Pair up, each group does 100 Squats, 200 Plank Jacks, and 300 monkey humpers as a pair. One member of the pair runs to the other sideline and back while the other member knocks off sequential reps and then they switch.

    Transition: Run to the ramp for some lunges and then back to the parking lot.

    Thang 4: 2 minutes of Side straddle hops.

    Back at the cars we found a fearless leader, very ill, and equally Nyquilled Snuff who rolled out of his death bed to bring us coffee.

    I needed to kill 2 minutes so we did 47 SSH in cadence.

    – Name-o-Rama, announcements, prayer, and Coffee-Rama followed by a DTH lead discussion of our Shorties and shield wall

  • Gulp the Dookie

    **Warm-Up (9 min)** 

    We practiced the AMRAP and timed ourselves doing it to set a baseline to beat. It took us 9mins together to run the half mile loop and do the exorcises.

    AMRAP:
    The route is 0.6miles. At the bridge we do 10 incline pushups. On the trail we do lunges between signs about 50 feet apart. We bear crawl across the parking lot, then 10 pull-ups and 10 dips on the playground and start over. Everyone was able to complete over 3 rotations in the 28 minutes they had so everyone beat the warm-up time. Impressive group.

    Mary to the finish 

    – Circle up: Dealer’s Choice abs (each PAX calls 1 exercise x10-15 IC, e.g., plank, LBCs).