Author: NTB

  • Just Like Clockwork

    A dirty dozen did exactly what you do at the West End Assembly of God. They assembled, ready to be washed by the water of an NTB beatdown. For five of the PAX, this was their second post of the day!

    According to the children hecklers on the playground, here’s what happened at the third iteration of The Crossing:

    WARMARAMA

    • Welcome, Mission Statement, Disclaimer
    • Various IC movements with the Epic Sax Guy track on loop to keep us moving to the beat. SSH, Jazzercise, Don Quixotes, Merkins, LBCs, Reverse Snow Angels, Dead Man Hang…

    COP #1: Touch a Tree

    • Touch 10 trees and return to the center for 10 Peter Parker merkins. Repeato decreasing the reps and always finding new trees.
    • Mosey to the grassy area in the middle of the parking lot for the main event.

    COP #2: Clockwork

    • Partner up and get the tunes blaring. Fan out to find the 12 exercises written down on notecards around the WEAG parking. Once an exercise is completed, return to the center for burpees, working from 12 down to 1.

    Numbers/Names/Announcements/Prayer – YHC took us out, pumped to get to share a good beatdown with a new PAX as well as some solid F3 HIMs. Respect to DTH, Chaplain, House Party, and Broadway for getting in a second hour of work today following this morning’s coupon ruck.

    Next Week at The Crossing: Meatball VQ!

  • I Ain’t As Good As I Once Was…

    …But with a frosty ruck down Riverside Drive the three amigos that are DTH, Mudslide, and YHC pushed one another to improve our fitness and conquer the day.

    At 0530 we set off from Huguenot Flatwater through the wooded trails heading down river. We leveled off at a 15min/mile pace which warmed up our cores and our spirits as we charged past the gates to Pony Pasture, circled the roundabout at Riverside & Rockfalls, and returned back to the flag at HFW for a total round trip of 3.7 miles in 55 minutes.

    Along the way we discussed relevant topics such as alternate rucking routes, headlocking more PAX into GrowRuck, Chaplain’s snooze button, and YHC’s mom.

    Drink your liquids from a red solo cup today.

    Announcements:

    • TONIGHT – 6pm Bootcamp – The Crossing (West End Assembly of God parking lot) – Chaplain Q!
    • 2/10 – Frozen Triangle CSAUP
    • 5/3-5/5 – GrowRuck #47 – SIGN UP!!

  • Q Confusion

    Over the course of two days and two messaging platforms there were many mixed signals from YHC to Doozy about ownership of the NoToll Q and the potential for a fartsack disguised as a sick child at home. YHC was glad to join the NoToll brethren, but at 05:29 this morning it seemed as though solving the war in Gaza had a clearer solution than determining who would lead the nine at NoToll into the mornings’ gnarly, snowy conditions. At 05:30 all was resolved when YHC took the Q and ran with it to the parking lot for the following:

    WARMARAMA

    On the way to the parking lot, stop at the bridge to pay the toll. 20 incline merkins and 20 dips. Mosey on for IC SSHs, Helicopters, Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, and the like.

    COP #1 – Parking Lot Squat

    We lined up at one end of the parking lot and performed one squat at the first white line before running to the curb island at the other end. Repeato that interval back and forth across the parking lot, each time stopping one stripe closer to the finish line and adding one squat to the total reps at that station. In the end, one parking lot was crossed and 190 squats were completed.

    COP #2 – Field of Trees

    Mosey from the parking lot to the pavilion.

    From the pavilion run across the field of your choosing and touch five trees, then head back to the pavilion for 50 LBCs. Repeato for the other two fields. 15 trees, 150 LBCs.

    That was a good bit of running… let’s do it again.

    Touch five new trees at each field and rack up 25 WWIIs between each run. 15 new trees, 45 WWIIs.

    COP #3 – License Plate Punisher

    Each of the PAX stands in front of their vehicle and adds up the numbers on their license plate to set the rep count for the movement of their choosing. Take turns going down the line hitting things like merkins, SSHs, starfish SSHs, mountain climbers, Freddie Mercuries, and of course burpees. Made it through 1.5 rounds before time was called.

    COT

    Numbers/Names/Announcements/Prayer Requests

    NMS: Not a lot of mumblechatter today due to all of the running around the AO. Perhaps Last Call should host a Broga Q so we can all sit around in a frozen circle and chat. Always an honor to lead.

  • Nearly A Light-Duty *Monster* Truck Rally

    All but one of the PAX got the pre-pre-blast memo to bring their pickup truck to the inaugural NTB beatdown of 2024. Hoping to shake-off the “bum” label given out by Dr. Try Hard in last week’s backblast, YHC was ready to bring the pain. In between the parking lot pre-huddle and the post-COT shooting crossbows at Dealer, the school security system captured footage of something like this:

    WARMARAMA

    Mosey down hill to the next parking lot to circle up for the welcome/disclaimer/core principles.

    Begin with IC SSH while the stragglers catch up to the PAX and continue on with IC movements to get the body warmed up. Mosey further downhill to the handicap ramp.

    COP #1 – Pure Bar

    • Partner up for (5) rounds of the following:
    • A: (10) Incline Merkins while partner holds chest-to-bar from the row position.
    • B: (10) Dips while partner holds chest-to-bar from the row position.

    COP #2 – Long Crawl

    • With tight forearms and warm shoulders the PAX set off on a cross-country bear crawl. It went something like this:
    • Partners work together for the long journey from the handicap ramp to the top of Love Hill. Partner 1 begins to bear crawl while Partner 2 runs to the top of Love Hill and back to his partner.
    • When the running partner gets back to his bear crawling commrade, both stop and perform (25) WWII’s each.
    • Work as a team all the way to the top of Love Hill.

    COP #3 – The Hot Light is On

    • For a fleeting moment, YHC considered calling a reverso on the Long Crawl and heading back to the handicap ramp. Self-preservation kicked in and we start to mosey towards the road. The PAX ran down the sidewalk across the face of the school, stopping at every streetlight for (5) merkins.
    • Mosey back to the flag for the final ten minutes.

    COP #4 – 10 Minutes of License Plate Mary

    • Back at the flag, the PAX stood in front of their vehicles and added together the numbers on their license plates to get the rep count for the movement they would select for the rest of the PAX to perform.
    • Round 1: Anything but abs.
    • Round 2: Only abs.
    • Round 3: Bring it in tight for (10) Eskimo merkins. Time called.

    COT

    • Numbers and Names
    • Announcements: Frozen Triangle on (2/10). GROWRUCK #47 (5/3-5/5).
    • Prayer Requests and YHC took us out.

    NMS: YHC was pumped to bring a beatdown to the PAX and am always grateful for the opportunity to lead. There is a lot of positive chatter, training, and head-locking for GROWRUCK #47. If you have not signed up, YHC hopes you feel the positive momentum surrounding this event and decide to be a part of this transformative weekend. Don’t miss out and unlock a new level of acceleration in your life! The difficult things in life are the ones worth doing!

  • Kinda Like Eskimo Brothers, But Different

    The weather report said 70 and sunny when the alarm went off this morning, but in the Midlo Middle parking lot a solid group of 8 huddled together in anticipation for an NTB beatdown. Time to go and YHC takes off across four lanes of traffic to the north side of Midlothian Turnpike. The PAX, confused at first, follows cautiously until it is abundantly clear that we are heading across the street for an NTB @ NTB warmarama!

    WARMARAMA

    The PAX circles up in the parking lot for a variety of IC movements. After taking an extra warm-up lap around the school, Hardywood finds the PAX and joins the fun to make it a 9-pack. Warm-up complete. Let’s mosey across traffic and back to the parking lot.

    COP 1: 7 of Diamonds – 7 rounds of 4 corners where the PAX performs each round’s movement and corresponding reps:

    • 7 Merkins / 14 Crunchy Frogs / 21 Squats / 28 Flutters / 21 Carolina Dry Docks / 14 Mountain Climbers / 7 Burpees

    COP 2: Heartbreak 1,2,3 – Mosey around to the hill and partner up for 100 Merkins, 200 Squats, 300 LBCs while the timer runs downhill to the snack bar and back up. Many cars driving the hill to get to their busses added a dangerous thrill to the challenge.

    COP 3: Four Corners – Step over to the tennis courts for a bro-code lap including 50 Freddy Mercury’s, 50 Box Cutters, 50 Merkins, and 50 Heels2Heaven.

    COP 4: Eskimo Merkins – With three minutes left on the clock the PAX circles up for 10 eskimo merkins.

    1. Start in plank.
    2. Drop to a 6″ hold on the Q’s “down” call.
    3. Q counts “one” and calls “up”.
    4. Push back up to plank.
    5. Repeato while extending the time holding 6″ with each rep.
    6. Example: “Down, one, up. Down, one, two, up. Down, one, two, three, up…”

    COT: Numbers, Names, Announcements, Prayer Requests

    • Prayers for Double Mint’s mom who is scheduled to have surgery on 1/2/24, as well as his niece who walked out of a 90-day drug rehab facility after one week for the second time.
    • 12/19 Rosie’s 12 Days of Christmas @ NoToll. Gift exchange to follow for participating PAX.

    NMS: OC was going to be left off of the PAX count as payback for last week had he not said something in the COT in front of everyone. The bromance flame was dwindled but not extinguished. YHC enjoyed introducing the eskimo merkin to the PAX, which was picked up from the T-Gives convergence in Cary, NC last month.

  • Turkey Day Convergence in DTC

    Regions: Carpex/SCary/Peak City

    PAX: 62 / FNGs: 4

    WARMUP: Following the pledge and identification of the 4 FNG, we did a quick count-off to ensure all were included.  Disclaimers were left undone to the frustration of the SCary Nantaan. Banjo led the group for a mosey to the fountain at the newly opened DTC park for the rest of the warm-up.  SSH, Imperial Walkers, Hillbillies, Good mornings, calf stretch & runners stretch.  

    THE THANG: Banjo then split the PAX into two groups.  Group One followed Banjo to one side of the park for two sets of exercises, and Group Two followed YHC to the playground for two activities.  The park claimed its first injury victim when Captain Hook slipped hard on the wet walkover and was attended to by a group of the PAX led by compount W.    After the second set was completed, the two groups swapped locations to complete the additional two sets at the other Q’s location.

    MARY: The whole bunch joined back up for a mosey back to the flag and joined the parking lot bruisers for a couple quick sets of Mary consisting of LBCs, heels to Heaven, & Eskimo merkins led by Kwikstop.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS: Turkey day, football at Weatherstone Elementary followed by tailgating at Burt Reynolds, Freed to bleed 12/2, Cary Christmas Parade 12/9, Carpex Christmas party 12/14.  All have sign-up sheets and details on Slack. COT: prayers for a number of our brothers and their loved ones who are dealing with sickness, illness, and injury to keep them all in our prayers.  Thanks were given to F3, the men who make our particular region great, and the suggestion to be intentional towards those you love on this beautiful day.  

  • Beep Beep

    A thin layer of gloom hovered over the parking lot of Huguenot High as YHC waited for the PAX to arrive for the second NTB beatdown of the week. Low turnout was to be expected given the option of an Orange Crush birthday bash, but after a silver sedan took a lap through the parking lot and then exited back onto Forrest Hill, YHC knew it was going to be the ultimate “you vs. you” morning. Mosey on!

    Warmarama at the flag pole.

    Brickyard 400 – Mosey around to the amphitheater for a Snuff-inspired pyramid.

    • 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-6-5-4-3-2-2 rep scheme, moving up/down the brick steps each set for a total of 50 reps.
    • Squats, Merkins, Ball Dippers, WWIIs, LBCs, Flutter Kicks, Carolina Dry Docks = 400 reps

    Beep ($#&*%) Test – Mosey down to the football field for YHC’s inaugural beep test. While traditionally conducted on a 20m interval, YHC did the math and shuttled between the goal-line and 21-yard line which is close enough. Scored a 7.9. Finished with a cooldown lap around the track and then mosey BTTF for a few minutes of self-reflection and prayer for the PAX.

  • A Lot of Running for a Bootcamp

    A fit fourteen of RVA HIMs avoided the toll roads around SOJ and emerged from the crisp Fall gloom for an NTB beatdown. The early-rising dog walker told Snuff to tell Last Call to tell Mr. Roper to tell YHC what he observed this morning:

    WARMARAMA

    05:29:45 – Excited for the day, DTH takes off early for extra credit while YHC and the PAX catch up for a half-mile lap around the parking lot and soccer fields. Circle up in the parking lot for welcome, disclaimer, and various IC movements to get the large muscle groups firing.

    COP 1: Couplet Ladder – The rep count gets shorter as the run gets longer. Crank up the tunes to drown out the monotony. Don’t even bother keeping up with Doozy.

    • Round 1: 100 Flutter Kicks / 100 Single-Leg Lunges / Lap Around the Parking Lot
    • Round 2: 75 FKs / 75 SLLs / Lap Around the Parking Lot and Field 1
    • Round 3: 50 FKs / 50 SLLs / Lap Around the Parking Lot, Field 1, and Field 2
    • Round 4: 25 FKs / 25 SLLs / Lap Around the Parking Lot, Field 1, Field 2, and Field 3

    Six is in, 15 minutes left on the clock. Mosey to the basketball courts.

    COP 2: Suicide Bear – 10 WWII’s at the baseline. Bear crawl to the free throw line. 10 Merkins. Crawl bear back to the baseline. Rinse and repeat to half court, opposite free throw, and opposite baseline.

    Two minutes remaining. Stay on the baseline and spell the alphabet with feet together off the ground. Time was called and we gathered for COT.

    COT: Numbers, Names, Announcements, Prayer Requests

    • 10/19 Timberwolf – OC’s Birthday Q
    • 10/31 Alamo – Yee Haw VQ
    • 11/11 Ruck for Food from Twin Team to SOT/MOT.

    NMS: Great mumblechatter from the back of the PAX today. YHC is grateful for the consistent showing at NoToll and the push from the rabbits to always run a little faster than what’s comfortable. There’s a name for everything in F3 and YHC’s new vocab word of the day was the smurf jack.

  • 4,320 Inches of Pain

    YHC rolled into SOT with squealing tires this morning after early morning roadwork on Huguenot attempted to delay the impending beatdown. After quickly parking and running up to the flag, seven gazelles took off to the west leaving nine studs behind to see what YHC learned from his VQ last week. Off we go… to the same parking lot.

    Circle up near the busses at the back of the parking lot for Welcome/Disclaimer/Warmarama

    • SSH, DQ, Deadman Hang, Arm Circles, Helicopters

    WARMARAMA cont. (bus stop edition)

    • Line up parallel with the busses and move across the parking lot, stopping at each bus to perform a movement called out by the Q. Increase the intensity each round to warm the body and increase the heartrate.
      • Golf Tee Pick Ups – 1/bus
      • Squats – 3/bus
      • Lunges – 6/bus
      • SSH – Add up the three-digit bus number to determine reps (9-13 reps/bus)
    • Mosey down to the football field.

    COP #1: Gridiron Inchworm

    • PAX partners up for a 120yd goalpost-to-goalpost inchworm march while the timer runs to the far goalpost and Bernies back to his teammate to swap out.
    • Mosey to the concession stand.

    COP #2: Wall Work

    • 30s People’s Chair into 20 Mike Tyson pushups.
    • Mosey to the lower parking lot.

    COP #3: Heartbreak Triplet

    • PAX partners up again for 100 merkins, 200 LBCs, 300 squats. Timer runs 200ft to the top of the hill and back.
    • Still 6min on the clock and faculty are starting to drive in, so mosey back to the track for a quick ring of fire of 10 reps each while the circle holds their feet off the ground.

    BTTF for COT

    • Numbers, Names, Announcements, Prayer Requests
      • Continue to pray for Yee Haw and his daughter Liv (9mo.) as she is battling brain cancer. An SOJ convergence at Alamo is set for 9/16 to show support for Yee Haw and his family.
      • Saturday, 8/26 – Pickleball Doubles Tournament at Batteau – 0600.
      • Saturday, 9/2 – School of Rock following regular Rock-N-Roll – 0800.
      • Monday, 9/4 – Labor Day F3 RVA Convergence at Dog Pile – 0700.

    Moleskin

    YHC was able to appreciate the mumble chatter a little more this morning now that the VQ-jitters are out of the way. Lots of talk about the start of school, college drop-off, middle school football, and keeping our daughters out of frat houses. Reluctantly, the NTB/Orange Crush bond continues to strengthen through the trials of SOJ beatdowns.

  • NTB’s VQ – Beatdown Buffet

    Nineteen stallions came out of their RVA stables this morning to see what the youngster had in store for his VQ. The forecast was 70 and Sunny with humidity cranked up to 110%. Little did YHC know that time moves very slowly when you grab the Q, so a beatdown breakfast quickly became a large beatdown buffet. According to the one bike rider wearing glow sticks, the following may have happened:

    WARMARAMA:

    • Mosey through the woods 1/4 mile. YHC admittedly missed the turn for the pickleball parking lot on the back of the park, so with pickleball no longer an option for the days workout we stopped on the trail for a short series of IC movements:
      • SSH
      • Lunges
      • LBCs
    • Mosey back through the woods to the soccer field parking lot.

    COP #1: Four Corners

    • 10 Merkins
    • 10 Squats
    • 10 Carolina Dry Docks
    • 10 Monkey Humpers
    • Mosey to the soccer fields.

    COP #2: Checkpoint Charlie

    • Divide the PAX into two groups for a race through a series of exercise checkpoints.
    • PAX must move as a unit from checkpoint to checkpoint.
    • Each checkpoint listed two movements. The PAX that got there first could pick which exercise they performed.
      • Buy-In: 10 burpees to get the heart rate going again.
      • Checkpoint 1: 20 Merkins or 20 Carolina Dry Docks
      • Checkpoint 2: 30 Squats or 30 Single-Leg Lunges
      • Checkpoint 3: 40 Plank Jacks or 40 Mountain Climbers
      • Checkpoint 4: 100 SSH or 100 LBCs
      • Checkpoint 5: 30 Single Shoulder Taps or 30 Freddie Mercuries
      • Checkpoint 6: 10 Burpees or Rest
    • Mosey to the Basketball Courts

    COP #3: Suicide Bear

    • Starting at the baseline, bear crawl to the free-throw line, 10 WWII’s, Bernie back to the baseline. Repeat across the length of the court.
    • Still 15min left on the clock! What else can we cook up for the buffet?

    COP #4: 11’s – Burpees and Squats

    • Perform 10 burpees at the baseline, then mosey to the other baseline for 1 squat.
    • Mosey back and forth completing 9/2, 8/3, 7/4, 6/5, 5/6, 4/7, 3/8, 2/9, 1/10 reps.

    COP #5: Ring of Fire

    • What can we do for the final five minutes?? Circle up for ring of fire. PAX holds feet off the ground while each member takes turns performing 10 reps of their preferred ab exercise.

    COT: Numberama, Namearama, Announcerama, Prayer

    • SOJ CSAUP Half-Marathon and 10K – 8/19 – Robious Landing Part @ 0530 (Don Draper)
    • Pickleball Doubles Tournament – 8/26 – Batteau (Forest Hill Part)
    • Pray for Doozy’s neighbor who is having a post-op scan for cancer in his neck.
    • Pray for baby Ivy and her family as she is fighting for her life with several complications. Be on the lookout for a September workout at the Alamo to show support for them.

    Moleskin

    YHC was too absorbed with thinking through each COP to appreciate the mumble chatter, though I heard afterwards it was rich. It means a lot to me that so many HIMs would show up to support the VQ, thank you. It was an honor to lead and I look forward to signing up to Q many more in the future. I showed up to NoToll for my first F3 workout in June hoping to find a community that would hold me accountable to show up and work hard and you guys have delivered just that.