Author: Purple Rain

Facing unrelenting peer pressure, plus an anonymous PAX signing him up to Q, Pierogi took the reigns and led us. An FNG came along for the ride. Here’s what happened.

Mosey to the parking lot across from the dog park. Disclaimers provided, sufficient to cause even the most litigious personal injury attorney to pass on a case. Cadence is counted differently, apparently, depending on your country of origin, but the faithful PAX followed Pierogi into parts unknown.

SSHs, dead man hang, arm circles, merkins, LBCs, Roscoe’s mom.

Mosey to the tennis courts. Four corners, Polish style.

Corner one: 5 merkins. Corner two: 5 merkins and 10 squats, return to corner one for 5 merkins. Corner three: 5 merkins, 10 squats, 15 heels to heaven. Back to corners 2 and 1. Basically prostitute style, but with cumulative exercises. Corner four: 5 merkins, 10 squats, 15 heels to heaven, 20 LBCs.

Pierogi didn’t write this backblast, so he will have to settle for my poor recollection of his deeds. We did a bunch of stuff in the big parking lot: sprints, merkins, LBCs, lunge walks, side shuffles. Different, in good way.

Concessions stand next. Some stretches for our burning legs, then three rounds of 10 donkey kicks. One minute people’s chair, quick rest, and mosey BTTF.

A quick stretch at the flag and time called.

Names, numbers, announcements.

FNG David found us online and self radicalized after listening to some Dark Helmet podcasts. He hung in there. A friendly dude, he’s on the carnivore diet and lost forty pounds over the last year. Even more weight over the last couple of years. He bears a striking resemblance, mostly his hair and beard, to Michael McDonald. And so he was named Michael McDonald. YHC was sad to see most of the PAX unfamiliar with who Michael McDonald is.

We all enjoyed Pierogi’s beat down. Variety keeps things interesting, and many hands, e.g. many PAX willing to Q, make for light work.

Nice morning today. Feels a bit like spring. Enjoy the weather this weekend fellas!

At seven sharp, ten pillars of masculinity sprang into action with a quick mosey to the tennis courts. Long warmup, and it went like this:

SSHs, overhead stretch, overhead triceps stretches, helicopters OYO, dead man hang, cherry pickers, copperhead squats, plank to shoulder taps, merkins, plank jacks, Michael Phelps, tempo Freddie Mercurys x 30, the wife collection of stretches, the Hermey stretch

Finished with appetizers, we moved on to:

11s lengthwise across the tennis courts. Groiners and imperial squat walkers.   

Run to the concessions stand. Make our way over to the new ball fields, coming along nicely! I can almost hear the crack of a ball off a bat. We tested the fidelity of the newly installed backstops with:

People’s chair into hoe downs (20), dirty hookups (10), dips (20), repeat 3x

10 recovery burpees (just normal burpees)

Mosey across the parking lots, down the gravel road, into the woods. Triple check:

Runner to the trailhead and back, merkins, pullups in sets of 3 to maintain good form.

Long ish mosey BTTF.

Circle up. Moving clockwise around the circle, each PAX calls an exercise and rep count. We made it fully around the circle before time called.

Names, numbers, announcements.

Prayers for RC’s mom who is doing better, and for Big Rig’s mom.

Coffeeteria at Mugshot Coffee afterward.

Thanks for joining and great to see everyone!

The title says it all, a good summary of this morning’s events. Make today great!

Just kidding.

I arrived at 6:59:30, and some folks pulled in a little past that. Instead of running away from our tardy F3 brothers, we started with some SSHs in the lot until everyone assembled. Right. Let’s get to it!

Mosey to the tennis courts.

SSHs, Andy Dufresne, some overhead stretch I don’t know the name of, helicopters, dead man hang, cherry pickers, copperhead squats, tempo merkins, tempo Freddie Mercurys, Roscoe’s mom, super mans, butterfly stretch

Four corners, prostitute style.

10 LBCs, 20 super mans, 30 SSHs, 40 groiners

Mosey to the concessions stand.

Starting at the bottom of the steep hill next to the ball fields, 10 Lt. Dans, then bernie up the hill. Once at the top, 20 hoe downs. Finally, balls to the wall, and 20 double-count, in cadence shoulder taps (“chicken pickers” I’m told, it may have been “peckers”). Repeat exercises 3x.

Mosey to the edge of civilization. Bear crawl down the steep hill.

Mosey into the wilderness, to the workout equipment just inside the woods.

Exercise bank.

Form a circle, I call out an exercise with some absurd number of reps. PAX adds their reps together, it’s a cumulative total, like a dora. One PAX at a time falls out of the circle, performs 7 pullups, then falls back in. Pullup participants in sequential order clockwise around the circle.

200 burpees, 500 American hammers double count, 700 APDs.

Long mosey BTTF. Arrived just in time.  

Names, numbers.

Announcements:

• Rodeo Clown is participating in a charity hike this April in Shenandoah National Park. He’s seeking co-participants and/or sponsors. RC described last year’s charity hike as, “The best hike I’ve ever been on.” Contact him if interested.

Prayer requests:

• Big Rig’s mom starting chemo next week
• Rodeo Clown’s mom doing PT, relearning basic functions like walking, etc.

YHC took us out.

The absence of prayer requests is a blessed thing. Sometimes it takes something going wrong in your life before you realize what was going right. Don’t let that be the case. All of us have an abundance, and the best things in life are free. If you had a billion dollars, you’d still have a house (maybe multiple houses), a car (maybe multiple, expensive oil change-type cars), and “stuff.” None of it matters. In hundreds of years, we will all be dust like the great kings and pharaohs of the past. More money, more problems. Diddy said that and look where he’s at.

I’m thankful for you guys: motivated, hardworking, tough, servant leadership-types. And let’s not forget funny! My spirits are always higher after leaving an F3 workout.

Thank you for letting me lead you guys!  

We started with a little stretching in the parking lot as some late comers screeched into the lot, rugged men rushing to join SOJ’s flagship, Saturday lazy start, full-hour workout. 

Overhead reach/Andy Dufresne, dead man hang, cherry pickers, helicopters, arm circles. 

Jog to the tennis courts to continue our warmup. 

Imperial squat walkers, merkins, mountain climbers, heels to heaven, flutters, LBCs, the wife stretches. Recover. 

Four corners around the tennis courts, no prostitute:

10 Lt. Dans, 20 imperial squat walkers, 30 APDs, 40 calf raises.

20 chain smokers OYO. 

Jog over to the concessions stand. 

20 in cadence hoedowns, 20 dips OYO, 15 dirty hookups OYO, repeat 2x

Partner up. Partner one does monkey humpers at the bottom of the steep hill next to the ball field. Partner two bernies up said steep him and runs down the stairs to switch out with their partner. Repeat 3x. Nice little segue way there if I do say so.    

One final round of 20 in cadence hoedowns, 20 dips OYO, and 15 dirty hookups OYO. 

Mosey to the trailhead next to the community gardens, then mosey a short way into the woods to the exercise equipment area. 

11s. Pullups on the monkey bars, jog back up the trail to the gates at the trailhead, merkins. This was tough and my pullup form deteriorated quite a bit as the number of reps grew. Oh well, I know I’ll feel it tomorrow.

Bear crawl to the top of the hill/edge of the parking lot. Work up to a mosey, headed for the basketball courts next to our cars. In the final few minutes, we were able to get in a quick four corners, no prostitute. 10 super mans, 20 something or others, 30 plank jacks, 40 SSHs. Time called. 

Forgot names and numbers. Whoops!

Check slack for upcoming event specifics. Chili cookoff on 11/23, 3-6 @ Alamo clubhouse, daddy/daughter dance early December sometime @ WEAG. 

Prayers for Pierogi’s wife’s uncle recently involved in a car crash and undergoing facial reconstructive surgery, prayers for Wildcat and his family. 

Thanks guys, that put the pep back in my step for a busy weekend. Always an honor to lead you!  

Seven, the number of completion, that’s how many HIMs redlined it this morning. We were joined by Mark, an FNG who is Cha Cha’s neighbor. The morning was peaceful, but at 7 sharp, that all changed. 

Run around the perimeter of the park to the tennis courts. 

Reviewed F3’s mission, credo, and the five core principals. Disclaimer given. Onward! 

Arm circles, jazzercize, rotator cuff stretches, dead man hang, cherry pickers, SSHs, copperhead squats, butterfly stretch, one leg hamstring stretch, APDs, scrunchy frogs, tempo Freddie Mercurys, merkins, V-ups. 

11s across the tennis courts. Exercises were scrunchy frogs and spiderman merkins. 

Mosey to the concessions stand. 

Dora. 100 jump squats, 200 single-count lunges, 300 monkey humpers. Timer bernies up the steep hill next to the baseball field then down the stairs to swap with their partner. I nicked this one from Big Rig. Quad devastation. After everyone finished, one last group bernie up the hill then mosey to the exercise area off the trail just inside the forest.

Circle up. One PAX member at a time calls out an exercise, then goes to the monkey bars to perform 10 pullups. After the pull upper returns to the circle, the PAX member to their left calls out a new exercise and departs to complete their pullups. We made it around the circle twice. 

BTTF. Numbers. Names. Announcements:

– Chili cookoff 11/23 at the Alamo 

– Daddy/daughter dance sometime in December

FNG Mark is an interesting guy with a unique background. He’s lost something like 80 lbs. in the last year or so. Now he’s looking to torch the rest with high-intensity F3 workouts. Mark lived in Russia for 3 years teaching English. He has also spent time in Ukraine and several other countries. He enjoys kayaking and is planning a Richmond to Newport News paddle in the upcoming future. Mark crushed it this morning. His first memorable concert was classical music. The repertoire? Tschaikovsky (I would like everyone to know I spelled that perfectly the first time without google or spellcheck). And so, Nut Cracker was born. Welcome! 

Quick note; the name “Nutcracker” is already taken, but Nutcracker has zero posts that I could find. Unfortunate in a couple of ways, but rather than rename our FNG (I discovered this conflict five minutes ago), can we split his name? “Nut Cracker” it is! Do we have an F3rva policy re: retiring and restocking dormant names?

YHC took us out. Prayers for Ukraine, for Broadway, for my neighbor Kevin who has been in and out of the hospital since a knee replacement this summer (currently in the hospital). Gratitude offered up for our innumerable blessings.

F3 first thing on Saturdays is my favorite way to kick off the weekend. Thank you, guys, for joining me, and for allowing me the privilege of leading you fine gentlemen.