Author: Purple Rain

  • Old-Fashioned KBJ

    The PAX knows what’s coming: turkey, stuffing, biscuits, mashed potatoes, gravy, mac and cheese, sweet potato casserole, pie, booze, shopping, decorations, travel, in-laws.

    And so, we all needed to get some energy out, burn a little adipose tissue to make room for more, take the edge off our knee jerk reactions to certain social interactions.    

    Zero points awarded to YHC for creativity today, but sometimes simple can be just the thing. Maybe a basic, straightforward KB workout is the antidote for the season’s complexities.

    SSHs, helicopters, jazzercize, dead man hang, cherry pickers, copperhead squats, hold a deep squat, merkins, LBCs, some kind of glute Hermey-esque stretch, butterfly stretch

    20 swings, 20 squats, 20 single-leg deadlifts (10/leg), repeat 3x

    20 deadlifts, 20 APDs, 70 calf raises, repeat 3x

    15 WWIIIs, 15 merkins pull throughs, 20 upright rows, repeat 3x

    Biceps 21s, 20 skull crushers, 14 one arm clean and press (7/arm), repeat 3x

    Names, numbers. Announcements:

    • Daddy/daughter dance 12/6 (check slack)
    • 2 Thanksgiving convergences, 45 minutes of Mary (Mary Mumford) @7, ultimate frisbee @ Timberwolf @5:30? (not positive about the start time)

    Hermey took us out. Remember to be thankful. Prayers for our brother Wildcat and his family, for the safety of travelers, for our country.

    Thanks for joining me, fellas! It is always an honor to lead you.

  • Mild Hangovers

    We started with a little stretching in the parking lot as some late comers screeched into the lot, rugged men rushing to join SOJ’s flagship, Saturday lazy start, full-hour workout. 

    Overhead reach/Andy Dufresne, dead man hang, cherry pickers, helicopters, arm circles. 

    Jog to the tennis courts to continue our warmup. 

    Imperial squat walkers, merkins, mountain climbers, heels to heaven, flutters, LBCs, the wife stretches. Recover. 

    Four corners around the tennis courts, no prostitute:

    10 Lt. Dans, 20 imperial squat walkers, 30 APDs, 40 calf raises.

    20 chain smokers OYO. 

    Jog over to the concessions stand. 

    20 in cadence hoedowns, 20 dips OYO, 15 dirty hookups OYO, repeat 2x

    Partner up. Partner one does monkey humpers at the bottom of the steep hill next to the ball field. Partner two bernies up said steep him and runs down the stairs to switch out with their partner. Repeat 3x. Nice little segue way there if I do say so.    

    One final round of 20 in cadence hoedowns, 20 dips OYO, and 15 dirty hookups OYO. 

    Mosey to the trailhead next to the community gardens, then mosey a short way into the woods to the exercise equipment area. 

    11s. Pullups on the monkey bars, jog back up the trail to the gates at the trailhead, merkins. This was tough and my pullup form deteriorated quite a bit as the number of reps grew. Oh well, I know I’ll feel it tomorrow.

    Bear crawl to the top of the hill/edge of the parking lot. Work up to a mosey, headed for the basketball courts next to our cars. In the final few minutes, we were able to get in a quick four corners, no prostitute. 10 super mans, 20 something or others, 30 plank jacks, 40 SSHs. Time called. 

    Forgot names and numbers. Whoops!

    Check slack for upcoming event specifics. Chili cookoff on 11/23, 3-6 @ Alamo clubhouse, daddy/daughter dance early December sometime @ WEAG. 

    Prayers for Pierogi’s wife’s uncle recently involved in a car crash and undergoing facial reconstructive surgery, prayers for Wildcat and his family. 

    Thanks guys, that put the pep back in my step for a busy weekend. Always an honor to lead you!  

  • We The People

    Nine HIMs arrived at the Old Hundred this morning to protest my Q decisions. Purple Pain, Merlot Splasher, Virginia’s Most Handsome Man, I have many sobriquets, and today I got to add Least Favorite Q. 

    SSHs, helicopters, dead man hang, cherry pickers, copperhead squats, merkins, LBCs, scrunchy frogs/epileptic seizures (lol)

    Dora. 

    Runner to the clothing donation bin across the parking lot and back again. 

    100 swings, 200 squats, 300 calf raises

    2nd Dora. 

    Same running route as the first Dora. 

    100 single leg deadlifts, 200 APDs, 300 plank pull throughs  

    Biceps 30s (they’re like 21s, but with 30), 20 lying skull crushers, repeat 3x

    Lawnmower pulls to runout the final 30 seconds.

    Names, numbers, announcements (check slack).

    YHC took us out. Prayers for our leaders, for the citizenry of the USA, for Hermey’s wife who is having surgery this Thursday.

    Nancy Lopez’s words of wisdom, “When you hear the PAX grumbling, you’re doing something right.” And grumble they did, providing today’s beatdown soundtrack. It sounded like weakness, heated by the combustion of calories, leaving the body and evaporating into the fall air, leaving the PAX purified and pristine. 

    Great to see Merman make a triumphant return! And we were joined today by Globetrotter, a new resident of the PAX stronghold of New Market, a recent transplant from Phoenix, and he’s in the “respect” club. Welcome back, and welcome. 

    It is always an honor to lead you guys. Until next time!

  • Purple Pain

    Seven, the number of completion, that’s how many HIMs redlined it this morning. We were joined by Mark, an FNG who is Cha Cha’s neighbor. The morning was peaceful, but at 7 sharp, that all changed. 

    Run around the perimeter of the park to the tennis courts. 

    Reviewed F3’s mission, credo, and the five core principals. Disclaimer given. Onward! 

    Arm circles, jazzercize, rotator cuff stretches, dead man hang, cherry pickers, SSHs, copperhead squats, butterfly stretch, one leg hamstring stretch, APDs, scrunchy frogs, tempo Freddie Mercurys, merkins, V-ups. 

    11s across the tennis courts. Exercises were scrunchy frogs and spiderman merkins. 

    Mosey to the concessions stand. 

    Dora. 100 jump squats, 200 single-count lunges, 300 monkey humpers. Timer bernies up the steep hill next to the baseball field then down the stairs to swap with their partner. I nicked this one from Big Rig. Quad devastation. After everyone finished, one last group bernie up the hill then mosey to the exercise area off the trail just inside the forest.

    Circle up. One PAX member at a time calls out an exercise, then goes to the monkey bars to perform 10 pullups. After the pull upper returns to the circle, the PAX member to their left calls out a new exercise and departs to complete their pullups. We made it around the circle twice. 

    BTTF. Numbers. Names. Announcements:

    – Chili cookoff 11/23 at the Alamo 

    – Daddy/daughter dance sometime in December

    FNG Mark is an interesting guy with a unique background. He’s lost something like 80 lbs. in the last year or so. Now he’s looking to torch the rest with high-intensity F3 workouts. Mark lived in Russia for 3 years teaching English. He has also spent time in Ukraine and several other countries. He enjoys kayaking and is planning a Richmond to Newport News paddle in the upcoming future. Mark crushed it this morning. His first memorable concert was classical music. The repertoire? Tschaikovsky (I would like everyone to know I spelled that perfectly the first time without google or spellcheck). And so, Nut Cracker was born. Welcome! 

    Quick note; the name “Nutcracker” is already taken, but Nutcracker has zero posts that I could find. Unfortunate in a couple of ways, but rather than rename our FNG (I discovered this conflict five minutes ago), can we split his name? “Nut Cracker” it is! Do we have an F3rva policy re: retiring and restocking dormant names?

    YHC took us out. Prayers for Ukraine, for Broadway, for my neighbor Kevin who has been in and out of the hospital since a knee replacement this summer (currently in the hospital). Gratitude offered up for our innumerable blessings.

    F3 first thing on Saturdays is my favorite way to kick off the weekend. Thank you, guys, for joining me, and for allowing me the privilege of leading you fine gentlemen.  

  • Lightening in a bottle

    A PAX of 11 strong gathered in the far parking lot of the AO, ready to subject themselves to an hour of unknown chaos. Each went to bed the night before after experiencing completely different Fridays from one another. They set alarms which woke them in the middle of early morning REM cycle sleep. They silently donned workout clothes, headed for the door and the damp, leaving behind sleeping families, setting off from the four corners of the map to assemble with precision and punctuality, anticipating the hard thing. The PAX turned an uninspiring, overcast fall morning into an all-consuming, inner-mounting flame. We got after it hard, setting all involved on a trajectory of success for the day, for the weekend, for forever.     

    Run around the perimeter of the park to the tennis courts. Circle up. 

    SSHs, jazzercize, helicopters, dead man hang, cherry pickers, copperhead squats, merkins, Thor’s chair, wife stretches, Roscoe’s mom, Michael Phelps. 

    Run from the tennis courts to the concessions stand next to one of the long parking lots.

    The Longest Parking Lot: 

    All exercises performed across the length of the parking lot. 

    Broad jump burpees, turn around for a lunge walk, turn around for bear crawl, and turn around for an easy jog across the parking lot. Styled after the longest mile.

    At/on the concessions stand:

    20 donkey kicks, 15 merkins with feet elevated on a bench (repeat 3x)

    11s down the length of the same long parking lot. SSHs and crabcakes at each end.

    Time called. BTTF. 

    Names, numbers. Announcements:

    – The Bridge workout, 10/25, Bootleg has the Q, reach out to him if you’re interested in attending and making a BIG community impact

    – Chili cookoff coming in November (exact date t/b/d) 

    – Daddy/daughter dance in December (I believe exact date is still t/b/d)

    YHC took us out. 

    Thanks, guys, for sticking by me and fueling the flames, and for letting me lead you. Until next time!

  • 1730; the no-fly zone

    Funny mumble-chatter, a good burn, good company; that’s what the Old Hundred is all about!

    Jazzercize, helicopters, dead man hang, cherry pickers, copperhead squats, merkins, wife stretches, Roscoe’s mom, v-ups

    There and back:

    Farmer’s carry KB to each corner of the parking lot. 

    Corner #1: 10 swings

    Corner #2: 20 single leg deadlifts (10/leg) 

    Corner #3: 30 thrusters

    Corner #4: 40 APDs

    Run it all back, corners 3, 2, and 1. 

    Next round:

    Corner #1: 20 Romanian deadlifts

    Corner #2: 40 overhead presses

    Corner #3: 60 shrugs

    Corner #4: 80 calf raises

    And run it all back again, corners 3, 2, and 1.

    Next:

    16 merkin pull throughs, 20 upright rows, 20 lying skull crushers, biceps 21s (repeat 2x)

    30 around the worlds (15 clockwise, 15 counterclockwise) 

    Run across the parking lot and back to the flag to run out the clock. Time called. 

    Names. Numbers. Announcements (check slack). 

    YHC took us out. 

    Weather turning, herd thinning. Come on out fellas, bulk season is upon us. KB workouts allow for more than usual mumble-chatter/fellowship. Bootcamps, rucks, KB workouts, all burn calories, variation helps to prevent overtraining and monotony. 

    Until next time, thank you for letting me lead you fine gentlemen!

  • Have you smiled in the mirror lately? 

    Four gloom brothers denied the fart sack a win, choosing instead to confront the dragon of chaos to capture the treasure it guards. Pleasant weather, funny mumble chatter, we had a decent schvitz and covered close to three miles. 

    Run over to parking lot. SSHs, Andy Dufresne, dead man hang, cherry pickers, copperhead squats, merkins, Roscoe’s mom, the Hermey stretch, the wife stretches

    We ran the full track around the perimeter of the park and acted as if there were four corners. Non-prostitute style. The “corner”exercises were: 10 broad jump burpees, 20 mountain climbers, 30 lunges (15/leg), 40 groiners. 

    I wanted to go to the tennis courts, so we ran halfway around the park again, completing two corners. The corners were: 10 burpees, 20 scrunchy frogs. 

    Dora at tennis courts. Runner runs the perimeter of the court, 100 chain smokers, 200 mountain climbers double count, 300 monkey humpers. 

    Run to the concessions stand. 20 hoedowns followed by 20 merkins with feet elevated on a bench. Repeat 3x. 

    One final, non-prostitute style four corners around the parking lot. Corners were: 10 burpees, 20 jump squats, 30 mountain climbers, and 40…something. We did 40 of something. Time called. 

    Hermey took us out. Prayers for PAX on IR. 

    Good hustle this morning fellas! The best way to begin a weekend that I can think of. Thank you for letting me lead you!  

  • Welcome, Dr. Who?

    Am I SOS, or am I NOS? I am part of F3Rva, that’s what I am, though unquestionably I fit into the SOJ category. I would probably caucus with the SOS crew if forced to choose, like for a game of ultimate for instance.  

    I participate in a lot of beatdowns with the Alamo and Satan’s Hill boys. I also find myself at Ruckhenge, the Forge, and Rock n’ Roll. Once a quarter or so, I’ll head into the city for DogPile on Saturday. Seems like I have a foot in a couple of different regions. Most of this is down to where I live, not in New Market or RounTrey, not in Bon Air, I’m in the in-between, right down the road from L Woods.

    Sounds like everyone had a great time at the SOJ v. NOS ultimate frisbee game this past week, and my commentary is in no way meant to detract from the merits of competition between regions. Keep it up! But every so often, I encourage everyone to drive five, ten, fifteen additional minutes, visit another AO. Maybe do it with some regularity. This will pay dividends. F3Rva is teeming with solid HIMs, every region, and it’s a treat to see different faces and AOs. It’s a little easier for me, living in the in-between; if I had an AO in my neighborhood, of course it would be a staple post for me.

    So today I lead my first Q at the Forge, an awesome and spacious AO with a ton of options. Great guys, 14 strong, and an FNG courtesy of Gaudi. And we got after it!

    Run to the tennis courts. Circle up for:

    Andy Dufresne, rotator cuff stretches, helicopters, dead man hang, cherry pickers, SSHs, copperhead squats, merkins, downward dog and cobra stretches, Thor’s Chair (feet stay off the ground the whole time if you’re able, start with 10 scrunchy frogs followed by 1 American hammer, 9 scrunchy frogs then 2 American hammers, it’s like 11s without running, your last set should be 1 scrunchy frog/10 American hammers. I think the PAX really enjoyed this.)

    Run to the track. Four corners, not prostitute style. 10 broad jump burpees, 20 LBCs, 30 Lt. Dans, 40 groiners

    To the bleachers. Bear crawl up the wet and treacherous bleachers. Crawl bear back down. Next, we tried crawl bearing up the bleachers and immediately abandoned this idea, so we just bear crawled back up the bleachers a final time. 

    We tried running to the hill on the side of the school but were stymied by fences and gates. Change of plans. Run back to the tennis courts. SSHs until the six was in, then 10 burpees. More running to the school steps/benches.

    Dora time. Runner up the stairs, down the hill, and back to their partner. 100 spiderman pushups. 200 dips. 300 monkey humpers. BTTF.

    Names. Numbers. Announcements. Check Slack.

    Philip Grotz, aka Dr. Who; a doctor whose first concert, none of the PAX recognized the performer. Poof! Dr. Who is born. He hung tough and kept pace. Keep coming out brother! 

    Prayers for Florence and his family, prayers for the unspoken needs of the PAX.

    I had a blast this morning fellas. Thank you for letting me lead. Until next time

  • Hot Fun in the Summertime 

    8 strapping HIMs assembled in the gloom, seeking refuge from beatdowns of the sort visited upon them Monday at the Alamo, courtesy of Crabgrass. Running was kept to a minimum, but this still proved unacceptable for some who preferred none. As Nancy Lopez counsels, “When you hear them grumbling, you’re doing something right.” And so, it was.

    Quick lap around the school. 

    Andy Dufresne, helicopters, rotator cuff stretch, dead man hang, cherry pickers, SSHs, merkins, mountain climbers, box cutters

    20 swings, 20 squat thrusters, 20 APDs, repeat 3x

    20 Romanian deadlifts, 75 calf raises, 20 single-leg deadlifts (10/leg), repeat 3x

    20 WW3s, 20 upright rows, 14 merkin pull throughs, repeat 3x

    For the next round of three exercises, the reps started at 10 for the first round, 15 for the second round, and 20 for the third round. The exercises were:

    Curls, skull crushers, around the worlds, repeat 3x

    Four minutes remained on the clock. YHC was considering a ring of fire when Flyboy spoke up begging not to run anymore. YHC looked around the PAX, locking eyes with Warby who flashed a wily grin. “Do it,” he mouthed silently. YHC felt a mischievous compulsion, the same sort which led him to do many stupid, peer pressure-related things in his younger years. “Let’s go for a run!” And so, it was. Everyone made it BTTF without any casualties or injuries.

    Names, numbers, announcements. 

    Hermey took us out. Prayers for those impacted by the Texas flooding, Futon’s family experiencing loss, and PAX on IR.

    Thank you, fellas, for the privilege to lead you. BB title is a tribute to the recently deceased Sly Stone. Until next time.

  • Thunderstruck

    At least that’s what I thought might happen when I was lying awake in bed at 6:15 listening to the thunder and sweeping rains outside. Of course, the forecast I consulted before signing up for the Q was wrong. But this is F3. And thunder can’t strike anyone. The show must, and will, go on. 

    At 6:57 it seemed a self-beatdown would be the day’s order. But the Wrangler with tinted windows next to me suddenly showed signs of life with Tin Man emerging to join. On the horizon an F3 institution came into focus through the gloom; House Party, beams of light radiating from his silhouette, set down his ruck to join the bootcamp beatdown. Pierogi screeched into the lot, and Shawshank, another much beloved F3 staple, rambled over with two (!!) FNGs in tow. Immediately after that we spotted Cha Cha, running toward the PAX around the perimeter of Rockwood like much needed air support that’s finally come through. What a difference 5 minutes makes. 

    SSHs, helicopters, copper head squats, dead man hang, merkins, LBCs, Freddie Mercurys, Andy Dufresne, 10 burpees

    Indigenous peoples run, man in back = 3 jump squats. To the pickleball courts! 

    10 burpees. Dora. 100 chain smokers, 200 LBCs, 300 SSHs. Runner around the perimeter of the pickleball courts. 10 burpees once everyone finished. 

    Mosey to the parking lot next to the dog park. 10 burpees. Next came 11s running across the lot. Scrunchy frogs and jump squats. 10 burpees.

    Mosey to the far parking lot next to the power lines and the grass covered hill. 10 burpees. Mosey to the bottom of the hill. 

    Partner up. One partner crawl bears, or bear crawls, up the hill. The other partner runs to the top of the hill and performs 10 burpees, then runs back down the hill to relieve their partner, switching places to resume the crawl up the hill. Partners switch places until they reach the top of the hill. Once at the top, crawl bear/bear crawl back down the hill, partner running to the bottom of the hill, performing 10 burpees, then running to meet and switch places with their partner. 

    Five minutes remained and I really wanted to hit 100 total burpees for the workout. The PAX were instructed to do 10 burpee sets with a rest between, or in the alternative, 10 merkins with a rest between until time.  

    Excellent job. FNGs performed admirably, and so did the rest of the PAX. Greyhound and Castaway were newly minted today! Solid dudes who put in serious effort. Hope to see them again soon.

    Names. Numbers. Announcements. YHC took us out.

    I always get a big boost from working alongside my brothers in the early morning hours. 

    Thank you for letting me lead fellas. Until next time!