Author: Splinter

  • Well Manicured Bushes

    Well Manicured Bushes

    A surprising 13 appeared at various times, either for early morning star gazing or for the main event, for today’s edition of First Watch. Mosey via the backdoor drive to the back parking lot for COP. Word count was high this morning.

    COP

    • 25x SSH
    • 10x Hellicopters
    • 10x DQ
    • 10x Copperhead Squats
    • 10x Arm Circles
    • 20x LBCs
    • 10x Merkins

    The Thang

    Mosey north on North Ridge to University. Stop for rules of the day. At any point during our meandering if you pass a well manicured bush on your left, 5 diamond merkins. Well manicured bush on your right, 10 monkey humpers. Started off with 5 & 10 as the homeowners association is keeping up with their manicuring.

    Short jaunt down to the bottom of university for 11s. Merkins & jump squats. 10/1 then run up to Ralston for 9/2. Back down for 8/3, etc. There happened to be a well manicured landing strip of a bush on the right, so we did 10 monkey humpers every time at the bottom. Finish at the top (of course).

    Wander south on Ralston to a well manicured lawn for something similar to a prison workout. There were 13 of us, so we lined up single file in the lawn facing the street. Each person was assigned an exercise they would pass to their right when rotation was due. Exercises were decline merkins on the swings, WWIIs, squats, SSH, burpees, incline merkins, lunges, LBCs, shoulder tap merkins, jump squats, flutter kicks, reverse crunches. The 13th exercise was the pace car, running to the yield sign at Rose Hill. All of this makes sense for everyone who was there.

    Two line native american run back up Kingston to Gaymont, BTTVSF.

    Numbers, names, announcements, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    When the cat’s away, the mice will play. When is the perfect time to do a workout in someone’s yard? When they are on a 2 week vacation of course. Hopefully the neighbors weren’t too disturbed by 20 minutes of 13 men working out in Kubota’s front lawn. Perhaps it’s time for a ring cam.

    You know that feeling when you have been out of town for a few days, come home, and your significant other has a lot to say? Well that was Handshake this morning. He didn’t take a breath the entire COP.

    Coffeeteria was strong this am as usual. Sorry I had to jet early.

    Announcements

    • Sign up for breaking bread. See Oyster.
    • Pickleball tourney 8/26 @ 6. Find a partner. Don’t bother showing up at Forest Hill during the daylight hours. Oyster says the competition is fierce.
    • Paddle 5PM tomorrow at Huguenot Flatwater. HH following at Honeydo’s.
    • Prayers for our PAX that are healing, spoken or unspoken.
    • Wojo is celebrating 6 years in F3RVA by continuing to complain about our lunge form

    Splinter out.

  • Fartleks on Fitz-Hugh

    Five fearless fun-seekers flocked to the faculty field (of asphalt) for our Friday formalities. Unbeknownst to the Q, an alliteration was called. Fartleks on Fitz-Hugh.

    The Route

    • East on Grove to a left on Lafayette
    • Left on Fitz-Hugh
    • Fartleks on Fitz-Hugh. Run 2 blocks at 80%, recover for a block. Some modified to 1 & 1.
    • 4s run all the way to willow lawn then back to Antrim
    • 5s run to willow lawn, back to Lafayette, then back to Blacker
    • 6s run to willow lawn, back to Lafayette, back to Willow Lawn, then back to Sauer
    • Run south back to the VSF wherever you end on Fitz-Hugh

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Announcements

    • Bridge crew heading out tomorrow. Probably a full car but check with State Farm/Shakedown
    • Lots of summer travelers

    Moleskin

    YHC woke up today noticing no Q was on the sheet. Realizing intervals at Mary hadn’t been called in a while, YHC took the opportunity. It was hot, sweaty, and fun. Everyone agreed.

    You are welcome Wedding Singer for the audible reminder of how sweaty it was today.

    Splinter out.

  • Dead Poets Society

    Ten British scholars gathered in the bowl behind the commons seeking answers to the questions of the day. With the question of who has the Q out of the way, YHC proclaimed the following routes:

    The Routes

    • Start with the first half of Mount Henrico route to get everyone on University on the west side of Forest
    • 4s take a right on Essex and go up as far as you want before retracing your steps
    • 5s take a left on Arlington Circle, hard left on Sawmill, left on Shelley, right on Keats, right on University and back
    • 6s do the 5s route + take a left on Coleridge while on Sawmill out all the way to Ridge then back

    Announcements

    • See slack for details Bodo’s posted on a memorial fundraiser run on 9/16.

    Moleskin

    The soup was a perfect consistency this AM. The second question of the day was whether or not Faceplant actually sweat a drop today. YHC saw him running, so he was out there. Perhaps he has some newfangled polyester blend? Marv will wait for it to go on special before trying it.

    The third question (and what turned out to be the question that made everyone disperse) was, what does Anthrax do with all that leftover water that Peeta doesn’t drink?

    Man loves dog
    Dog loves man
    Dog drinks water
    Water refreshes man

    Man drinks dog water

    Splinter – 2023

    Who says romantic poetry is dead?

    Splinter out.

  • Abandoned in Aberdeen

    Four RAMM regulars gathered under the tree to admire Hitchhiker’s choice of running shoes. That was until a shirtless man came galloping towards us. Distracted by the streetlights glistening off this bulging man, directions were given:

    The Route

    • Everyone head west on Grove
    • Access road to Iris then down to the golf course
    • 4s Tapoan back to Three Chopt then back to Grove
    • 5s Tapoan back to Three Chopt then cross to St Chris, east on Patterson, back on Westmoreland
    • 6s Ridgeway to Roselawn to Towana to Campus to Pepper to Patterson, back on Westmoreland

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    YHC sucks at summer running, but I still enjoy seeing these groups on a regular basis. Thanks for sticking with me as I push through the gloom.

    Good mumblechatter with the 6s for a bit, then breathing took over. Hitchhiker planned on going wading in the river today but instead decided to run and didn’t bother changing shoes.

    YHC started handing out SQL access to #bigdata this morning. Be on the lookout for your next assignment.

    Announcements

    • Sign up for the pickle ball coup de grace 8/26.
    • Saab is in the market for a german car

    Splinter out.

  • Dispelling all Fake News

    The gravity of Mary Munford was strong this am, pulling people in at 0530 and once again at 0615. Runners all did the same thing. Riders did something. Here is what the runners did.

    The Route

    4s: https://onthegomap.com/s/5qsculu5

    5s: https://onthegomap.com/s/e2gvt3lp

    Numbers, names, people strolled in, people rolled out. YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    Great to see faces of those that have battled health challenges and to have them back out tackling the day. There was also an instance of someone who miraculously has already recovered from surgery that has not yet happened.

    YHC wants to specifically thank Pigskin for navigating me through the fog this morning. There were points where I was running backwards and didn’t even know. Thanks!

    Announcements

    • Batteau will be a summer long pickleball tourney. Bring one, bring all to see what it’s all about.
    • Summer tour in full force

    Have a phenomenal weekend everyone.

  • The Devil’s Intervals

    The Devil’s Intervals

    Eighteen unsuspecting spiderlings, including one world traveler, met in our usual spot to wait for directions. Directions were brief because we would be staying together today. It went something like this:

    The Route

    4s: Through the batcave and over to Westham Station

    5/6s: Follow the main road to River then over to westham station. 6s run around starbucks.

    Meet at the bottom of Panorama for 3x intervals, shifting up to the first tree after the first interval. Slow mosey over to one of the H streets for the next round. 3x up Highland then 1x up Old Bridge. Mosey back to the flag via the route you came.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    Great to have a visitor from Katy, TX today. Glad you were not upset with the concept of intervals. YHC enjoys throwing these on the PAX from time to time.

    Way to crush it today fellas. I don’t think we have done intervals on the devil’s pitchfork until today. Well done!

  • Still within the Statute of Limitations

    YHC doesn’t know who was there, but this was the route. Lockjaw was the Q. If you can dig up your stats from 11/5/2019, let me know and I’ll add your name. I’m guessing Saab ran to vote, but who knows?

  • Irregular Shaped Lollipops

    Happy Birthday Wedding Singer??? Wedding Singer + 21 of his 0530 friends met in the sunken parking lot that we call Spider Run launch. We ran the following, then heard Singer subtly say his name + age. No one called him out on it, until now.

    The Routes

    4s:  https://onthegomap.com/s/r5ad1ckj
    5s:  https://onthegomap.com/s/vf9gb3md
    6s:  https://onthegomap.com/s/pk2unnhj

    Numbers, names, announcements, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    The PAX hit some different roads today, or at least made different turns to get to similar roads. Due to the need to test one’s will by running past a scary house, these extreme reaches of the AO are lightly traveled. That resulted in all the 5s screwing up. Well done. Hutton said he had it, clearly he didn’t. Apparently, Fudd tried to tell everyone but no one listened.

    Great group of 22 today. The 6s saw Saab traveling away from the prescribed route as we were finishing our lollipop. He must have needed a direct route home.

    Keep planting flags Flatline!

    Happy Birthday Wedding Singer

    Splinter

  • Buttheads

    Buttheads

    Four nincompoop runners accompanied three nincompoop ruckers for today’s RAMM. Yesterday’s slack teaser only resulted in a few takers; perhaps without the teaser no one would have shown. These are today’s questions that will never be answered.

    The Route

    Inspired by last week’s personal diversion coming back from Monument, this week’s route promised to be the simplest complex route ever.

    Course boundaries were Hamilton to the east, Broad to the north, and Chantilly to the west. Start by turning right on Grove. Take first left. Then first right, left, right, left, etc. until you reach a boundary. Once a boundary is reached, turn around 180 and head the other direction, following a similar pattern.

    6s doubled back once they hit a boundary mother goose style to add mileage before continuing on.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out after coercion from Wedding Singer to move along.

    Moleskin

    YHC enjoyed this route. After mapping it out yesterday, the route reminded me of the old 80s video game Q*bert. No box jumps today, simply a lot of left and right turns. Could have been an advanced level of Q*bert back in the day.

    Upon arrival at home, YHC was greeted with strange looks from my 9YO. His comment was, “you ran in this?” YHC replied, “Absolutely! We are a bunch of nincompoops.” After inquiring what a nincompoop is because he had never heard that term he replied with, “We call them buttheads these days.” Buttheads indeed.

    Thanks to the 4 runners who endured my creativity. YHC will lobby Lockjaw to name this route the Q*bert route.

    Enjoy the day fellas. We bring the weather to everything we do! Bring sunshine today!

  • March Madness, Reprise

    Legend has it, here is how the story goes:

    Johnny: “Timmy, did you hear what happened at recess today?”

    Timmy: “No, did Handshake get caught looking up girls skirts again?”

    Johnny: “Not that I know of… You know that older kid that complains a lot but tells those jokes he gets from GQ magazine?”

    Timmy: “TYA?”

    Johnny: “No, the other one he hangs out with…”

    Timmy: “You must be talking about that Saab kid. I heard he wants to buy a british car when he turns 16. My dad says there may be something wrong with that kid.”

    Johnny: “Yeah, my mom said he tried to take a girl on a date to see Stripes.”

    Timmy: “Man, that’s a $100 shine on a $3 pair of shoes.”

    Johnny: “Anyway, there was a pickup basketball game during recess today and that giant 3rd grader who looks like he’s 14 told Saab he had to play.”

    Timmy: “Oh man, I wish I could have seen that…”

    Johnny: “It was hilarious. Saab’s team started chucking balls from all over the place. I overheard him say he was only good for two things, catching and passing.”

    Timmy: “I’d be surprised if that one-legged cheetah could even catch.”

    Johnny: “Turns out you are right, kid couldn’t catch a turtle if it was walking right in front of him. Anyway, the teachers had blown their whistle to indicate recess was almost over. All I heard while they were playing was, ‘This game is stupid’, and ‘I was never good at this game’.

    Timmy: “He will probably work in IT when he gets older.”

    Johnny laughs uncontrollably

    Johnny: “So true. Well… the clock was ticking and somehow Saab ended up with the ball. He took one dribble to about 10 feet and chucked it up.”

    Timmy: “Let me guess, airball.”

    Johnny: “That’s what I would have guessed if I hadn’t seen it with my own two eyes. The Dude made it!”

    Timmy: “No way. You must have been talking about another kid. No way that kid made a basket.”

    Johnny: “Swear on my Pokemon collection. He stepped back and drained it. Funny thing is, people didn’t even get excited. He just walked away.”

    Timmy: “Legendary.”

    Johnny: “Cool as a cucumber.”

    Timmy: “I hope Sally got a picture of him to put in the yearbook. That’ll be a great story to tell when we make it to the big school, you know, middle school.”

    Johnny: “Best recess ever.”

    Timmy: “I have to go. Gotta get back to class. Have you seen my substitute?”

    Johnny: “No, new?”

    Timmy: “Oh yeah. I’ll fill you in on the bus.”

    COP

    • Single file run over to the basketball courts, where we stayed until the bell rang.
    • 4 left hand, 4 right hand layups
    • Line up in two horizontal lines facing the Q
    • 20x Invisible Jumpropes
    • 10x Don Quixotes
    • 15x High Knees
    • 10x Copperhead Squats
    • 15x Buttkickers
    • 10x Defensive slides
    • 10x Bobby Hurleys

    The Thang

    As a tribute to the introduction of the shot clock, we did 4 corners. 30 exercises at each corner of the basketball court. Merkins, LBCs, CDDs, Squats.

    Huddle up around the goal for Halftime Entertainment. Everyone shoots a layup, free throw, and 3 pointer. Miss the layup and the group does 10 burpees, free throw 10 merkins, 3 pointer 10 squats. The group was 6/9 on layups, 2/9 on free throws, and 0/9 on 3 pointers. Lots of blame on the darkness and the light.

    Senior superlatives were mixed in as well. Two seniors were highlighted. First was Antoine Davis. Antoine came up 3 points short of Pete Maravich’s all time collegiate scoring record of 3667 points. Antoine ended up with 3664. Close, but no cigar. Additional context, Antoine achieved his number in 5 years (including his additional COVID year). Pistol Pete did it in 3 as freshmen couldn’t play back then. 3 years, 40+ points a game, no 3 pointers. Let that sink in. 36 merkins, 67 SSHs as a tribute.

    Second superlative was offered to Kihei Clark. Kihei broke the ACC record for most minutes played in his career (again, thanks to the additional COVID year). He played 5339 minutes, which by TYAs quick math is almost 90 hours. Crazy, over 5 years, 30 games a year, that only adds up to 90 hours of basketball. Anyway, apparently people keep track of that stat so we did 53 LBCs and 39 Jump Squats as a tribute.

    This is where we broke up into teams of 3 and the above storyline played out.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    YHC appreciates those that posted but did not know what was in store for the day. It’s been 4 years since my last official March Madness Q at Mary. Stories were strong of years past. Great work everyone.

    Welcome to the newcomers who hadn’t experienced a Q like this before. You are only limited by your own creativity!

    Splinter out.