Author: Splinter

  • Chinese Moon Pie

    Fourteen able bodied gentlemen gathered just in time for instructions to today’s edition of Spider Run. Moon Pie appeared just in time to hear instructions that made no sense. Regardless, off we went for a relatively error-free route that included:

    The Route
    4 milers – Head west towards the baseball field, up in front of the Robins Center and left on College. Right on Lakewood. Right on Wood. Left on Beechwood. Left on Westham. Cross River and head down South Ridge. Left on Westham Station and work your way back to the commons via the main entrance on River Road.

    5 milers – same as 4s except add the down and back Ross after you cross over River.

    6 milers – same as 4s except add the Cameron to Culpeper jug handle before heading down and back Ross. Also add Old Bridge to Highland on Westham Station.

    Very few announcements then YHC took us out while making sure the seals heard our prayer.

    Moleskin
    Relatively uneventful Spider Run today. Very methodical execution from the PAX. Hitchhiker is building towards something as he ran from his house to Spider Run and then back. TClaps for seriously putting in the miles these days.

    Six mile chatter centered around snow sports and the desire (or lack thereof) to participate. The steeds lost me on Highland and YHC was left with his thoughts the rest of the way.

    Lug keeps pushing it too. He added Ross but didn’t quite see the bottom.

    Swirly wore his favorite shirt but that didn’t keep him from getting temporarily misguided on Ross.

    Welcome Moon Pie to his first Spider Run (YHC believes). Upon declaring his name during pre-run introductions, Hitchhiker came out of the blue and asked if Moon Pie had ever been to China. Stealing a line from the #daville regulars, “As usual, I have no idea what that means.”

    Have a blessed day gentlemen. See you on Slack.

    Splinter

  • Shorter than Advertised

    baseball player standing on bucket talking to tall reporter

    Eleven 12 Days of Christmas dodgers huddled, backs to the lake, to avoid the lake effect wind. Today was YHCs gift to the PAX, extra miles to push ourselves heading into the holiday season. After BT confused Saab with references to Bavaria, YHC gave instructions, which went something like this:

    The Route
    Everyone head over the bridge in front of the Commons, left up towards the Chapel and right on UR drive. Continue to River, left on River, cut through the shopping center, right on Huguenot and across the bridge. Loop around to Riverside, left on Riverside, right towards Flatwater, left on Riverside.

    4 milers – continue on Riverside and turn around at Rivercrest for an advertised 4.5 mile route.

    5 milers – continue on Riverside until it turns to Hickory. Stop when you get to Cherokee and return the same way for an advertised 5.5 mile route.

    6 milers – continue across Cherokee, right on Rustic. Left when that ends, left when that ends, left when that ends and return via Hickory and Riverside for an advertised 6.5 mile route.

    Numbers, names, pause for a brief announcement from Saab (that never came) and then YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    YHC wanted to push it a little this morning so apologies to the PAX for dragging you along my desire to do more. Pushing beyond our normal distances is good from time to time to see what you body, and mind, can tolerate.

    Routes were a little shorter than advertised but still longer than normal. A feat not often realized by the PAX today.

    Lockjaw has the Q for RAMM Friday. What could he have in store???

  • Fingers Crossed

    Ten plump turkeys strutted their way over to the parking lot for this week’s iteration of Hoedown. Nary a mention of the Redskins today so off we mosey’d to the front of the school, passing the neon ladies, for something that went like this.

    COP
    High Knees x15
    Butt Kickers x15
    Speed Skaters x10
    Don Quixotes x10
    Flutter Kicks x20
    Mountain Climbers x10
    HRMs x10

    The Thang
    Mosey back over to the blacktop for Lindsays. Squats and straight up merkins. Run the distance of the blacktop between sets.

    Scurry over to Linsday Ct for repeating iterations of catch me if you can. Partner up with one partner doing 5x burpees while the other Bernie Sanders up the hill. Burpee-er catches Bernie by running forwards then switch. Recover back down the hill and repeat 2x with WWIIs and Jump Squats.

    Meander through the darkness towards West Drive Circle, stopping at the circle. Since we lost Toto we could safely complete a triple check. LT Dans and WWIIs while the third runs the loop.

    Dosey Do back to the AO proper, stopping at each mailbox and performing 5 merkins. We completed 0 merkins.

    Audible and ramble down Hepler, stopping at each lamp post or house light and perform 5 merkins. Collect the PAX at the bottom and then run back to the VSF.

    Sequentially declare our position, state names, announcements, random thoughts by Offshore and then YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    Great job by the PAX this morning, enduring another Splinter workout with no theme nor reason for leading.

    YHC forgot that Westham doesn’t have mailboxes (at least none at the street) but a SNAFU was avoided by modifying to lamp posts.

    Mumblechatter was minimal this morning. Everyone appears to be ready for the week of giving thanks for all that we have.

    Announcements

    • Celebration of gathering at Berkeley plantation is at 6am on Thursday morning at Mary. 1 hour special.
    • Black Friday CSAUP 7am Forest Hill Park

    Splinter out.

  • Mary is Scatterbrained

    Mary is Scatterbrained

    Eleven runners plus four on rubber didn’t really gather at 530 and everyone did a variety of things.

    Due to limited numbers at 530, YHC called the negative split route up Commonwealth and east on Monument. Turning around at 23 minutes and getting back in 22.

    The original intent was to do Fartleks. Sippy showed up right at 530 and YHC was able to convince him that Fartleks were the way to go. So, 15 minute warm up followed by ten 1 minute pickups. 1 minute hot at a faster than 5k pace followed by 30 second recovery. Do this for 15 minutes then cool down for 15 minutes on the way back to RAMM.

    RAMM is very scattered these days. Early starters, modest numbers at 530, then there is always a good contingent of gears folks. Still always good to see everyone.

    Make sure you come out next Thursday for a fake news history lesson on Thanksgiving. See TYA for details.

    Also, black friday shopping starts at 7am at shelter 1 in forest hill park. TYA has coupons.

    Everyone reach out to someone they haven’t connected with in a while and just give thanks for being a part of your life.

    Hasta luego amigos. ¡Vamos a comer Qdoba!

    Splinter.

  • Carl Friedrich Gauss Shows Up TYA

    Carl Friedrich Gauss Shows Up TYA

    Thirteen randomly dressed middle aged men assembled near the high pitched hissing generator for today’s 45 Minutes of Mary. Many wondered if it would be 45 minutes of merkins given the gauntlet thrown by El Doctor on the other side of the river. Alas, no gluttony, just a healthy dosage of merkins.

    Mosey over near 2nd base on the blacktop for today’s rendition of COP which went something like this:

    • SSH x25
    • Merkin x1
    • Copperhead Squats x10
    • Clerkins x2
    • Imperial Walkers x15
    • Werkins x3
    • Russian Soldiers x10
    • Stagger Merkins x4
    • Arm circles x10 (no big ones)
    • Stagger Merkins x5
    • Mountain Climbers x10
    • Merkins x6
    • LBCs x20
    • Clerkins x7
    • Jump Squats x10
    • Werkins x8
    • Helicopters x10
    • Stagger Merkins x9
    • Lunges x10
    • Stagger Merkins x10

    Quick jaunt over to the east end of the field via the west end of the field. Continue the escalating merkin pattern with sprints across the field. Sprint across the field, do X number of merkins, 20 leg exercises, 30 ab exercises then sprint back and repeat, adding 1 number to the merkin count each time. Planks and Señor Gore’s between even sets to collect the PAX

    • 11 merkins, 20 jump squats, 30 WWIIs
    • 12 merkins, 20 jump squats, 30 WWIIs
    • 13 diamond merkins, 20 lunges, 30 flutter kicks
    • 14 diamond merkins, 20 lunges, 30 flutter kicks
    • 15 werkins, 20 reverse lunges, 30 american hammers
    • 16 werkins, 20 reverse lunges, 30 american hammers
    • 17 stagger left merkins, 20 mountain climbers, 30 ab exercises of some sort
    • 18 stagger left merkins, 20 mountain climbers, 30 ab exercises of some sort
    • 19 stagger right merkins, 20 squats, 30 freddie mercuries
    • 20 stagger right merkins, 20 squats, 30 freddie mercuries

    Jovial saunter and circle up around the pull up bar for ring of fire. 5x pull ups while plankorama ensues. Hitchhiker awarded the Merkin Presidential Award to Swirly during the process.

    Cozy little stroll back to the VSF for 21 merkins since we had another minute.

    YHC forgot to prompt for announcements but we counted our digits and proclaimed our given and re-given names before YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    Quite a lively crew today and Marv took much of the brunt of pre-launch banter due to his choice of outfits. That and his appearance for Mary which used to be a staple of his. Glad to have you out.

    Other poking and prodding of individuals was limited during the workout until the end when TYA’s math skillz were highlighted. Proud of his ability to recant Gauss’ formula and his overwhelming confidence in his correct answer that the number of merkins performed was 210 for the day, YHC gave him the opportunity to think about his answer and then call me later in the day to discuss. After showing his math, TYA did realize his mistake and the walls came crumbling down. My attempt to be gracious in victory was overwhelmed with TYAs desire to be right.

    231 gentlemen. Even Carl the kindergartener could have figured that one out.

    Splinter out

  • Sippy’s Stolen Route

    Fourteen fleet a foot plus one on two wheels and birkenstocks huddled and waiting for rain that never happened. After some finger pointing as to who had the Q, YHC proclaimed he grabbed it last night. Routes were as follows and then a prompt 0530 departure courtesy of TYA.

    Routes
    Meander through campus towards the River Road exit, crossing through the shopping center and across the bridge. 4 milers complete the cloverleaf and then return. 5 and 6 milers go downriver (east). 5s take the first right onto Oxford and then another RIGHT onto Arrowhead. Continue up to Cherokee and return via the same path. 6s continue on Riverside then right onto Rockfalls followed by a slight left onto Hill Rd. Continue to the top near Lewis and return the same way.

    Numbers, names, 2 announcements from TYA + 1 proxy announcement from TYA before YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    Wonderful morning for a run, with fall temperatures sticking with us long enough to get a run in. Energy level was high and the 6 milers shot out like a gaggle of geese during hunting season. Great work to all.

    Sippy disclosed post run that he was planning a route across the bridge and through Oxford but YHC beat him to it. Apologies but there are plenty of opportunities coming up to do a little exploration.

    Announcements

    • It’s Saab’s birthday and he’s celebrating in his favorite place on earth (Vegas)
    • Black Friday loops in Forest Hill Park. 7am start. See TYA for deets.
    • Lug is going to crush the half marathon this weekend. Give him some kudos when you see him

    Always fun guys. See you soon.

    Splinter out.

  • Misty Westham

    Fifteen intrepid nincompoops met at the commons today for another set of seventeen turns to complete a Spider Run. Someone stole the last parking spot by the lake which resulted in YHC driving in circles today. PSA – you must arrive early to Spider Run to get a prime spot.

    Regardless, we did a big loop today. 6 mile loop is above with 5 miles coming back on Lakewood and right on Westham. 4 milers stayed on Westham the entire jaunt south.

    No one was lost. Bleeder actually knew which direction he was heading and the 6 milers were “late” by 15 seconds back to the VSF.

    Lots of random runners out there but no Keymaster sighting.

    Prayers go out to Marv and his family. The PAX is all thinking about you.

  • Triple the Fun

    Nineteen eager pavement pounders gathered at the commons and watched Circle K drive around looking for a parking spot. Lug Nut apparently came in hot and missed the festivities so he threw his own party. As expected, directions were withheld until T-minus 30 seconds. Run as a group through fraternity row and gather at the base of Horsepen and Waveny.

    The Thang
    Intervals up Waveny. 1 minute up at about 75% intensity and recover back to the bottom in 1:45. Repeat x4.

    Mosey up to Shrewsbury. Long intervals up Horsepen. 2 minutes up at whatever intensity you feel appropriate and recover back to the bottom in 3:00. Repeat x3.

    Saunter up Shrewsbury, paying homage to Toga. Left on Ridge Top and stop at Chandler. Time for 1 more 1 minute interval for those that want it.

    Head back via Gardiner and back by the stadium.

    Numbers, names, and YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    Fantastic numbers for Spider Run this morning and enthusiasm was high for the route which never came. Some were surprised, some were not. Either way we all had fun (no report from Lug Nut on his fun factor).

    Someone may have coined the term Splintervals today. Not sure if that was a new term or something that people talk about in back channels when Splinter isn’t present. I’ll take it as a compliment until someone tells me otherwise.

    Intervals up Horsepen were difficult, especially after Waveny. All in all, I enjoyed this variation on intervals and the selective polling I did seemed to indicate the enjoyment was 100%.

    Enjoy the day fellas.

    Splinter

  • Pitchfork, my way

    Fourteen Spider Run regulars met with prepared enthusiasm for intervals. No intervals today, instead the Pitchfork Splinter-style was called. TYA briefly attempted to repeat instructions but failed, so YHC jumped back in and reiterated for the late arrivals. It’s a regular route so not many questions.

    The Route
    Proceed towards the bridge via the River Road entrance and continue down Westham Station. Everyone runs along the tracks then heads right up South Ridge to the light. 4 milers turn around at the light and head back. 5 milers turn around and make a left at Old Bridge on the way back and hit Highland to River. Return and back to the flag. 6 milers do the 5 mile + go all the way up Old Bridge then also hit Panorama on the way back.

    Digits, salutations and YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    It was good to be back. Let’s hope this sticks and YHC can make this a regular occurrence again. Great group of guys to run with and an almost great morning.

    YHC enjoys this route as everyone gets to experience South Ridge. Plus there are plenty of crossover points where pleasantries and general words of encouragement can be exchanged along the way.

    Marv was hoping for a route by his abode so he could pick up his FND. TYA still hasn’t named her from her FND appearance three weeks ago. She can’t come back until TYA names her appropriately. FWIW, there are many suggestions out there.

    Great job to all. Mileage was closer to 4.3, 5.4, 6.4 for those keeping track.

    Announcements
    Puppy pile at 7:05 Saturday morning at Dogwood Dell

    Bear creek registration is open

    The McShin Foundation is a great recovery organization here in our own backyard. We all know someone that has dealt with addiction, past or present. Everyone needs a support network. Luckily our region has a great program like McShin to provide the support needed.

    Splinter out.

  • Night Lining. Just Lining the Field at Night.

    Seventeen steely eyed quants gathered at the hardpan known as 45 Minutes of Mary for a brief discussion on biscuits and the ‘ville where they are made. No time for questions, off the Q went with nary a sound. Regardless, the hoi palloi followed to home plate for a welcome, disclaimer, and reminder that the only barrier to entry is counting to 20. The following recap is close enough to reality:

    COP
    Don Quixote x10
    Burpee x1
    Copperhead Squats x15
    Burpee x2
    American Hammers x20
    Burpee x3
    Swimmers x10
    Burpee x4
    High Knees x15
    Burpee x5
    Imperial Walkers x20
    Burpee x6
    Freddie Mercuries x20
    Burpee x7
    Jump Squats x10
    Burpee x8
    Something else xSome number
    Burpee x9
    Something else xSome number
    Burpee x10

    The Thang
    Quick mosey over to the tennis court (since the field was occupied) and line up on the sideline for repeating line drills. Lines were the spaces between the courts + the end line on the far side. Every time you get to a “line” you stop and do an exercise. After each line drill perform various plankorama formations. Exercises were:

    Merkins x10
    Mountain Climbers – 2 count x10
    Jump Squats x10
    WWIIs x10
    Burpees x5

    Gallop over to the school for today’s variation of triple check. People’s Chair, LBCs, and the pace car bear crawled to the end of the world and back.

    Four minutes of mary including V-ups, speed round of APDs, American Hammers, and Flutter Kicks.

    Dart back to the flag where we all rung out our shirts and gloves, gathered for a counting exercise to 17 and then declared our F3 given names. YHC took us out with thoughts and prayers to all in our PAX that are recovering but specifically Viral. Keep him in your prayers.

    Moleskin
    YHC was performing his pre-workout ritual before leaving the house for WDog yesterday when he noticed that somehow the Mary Q was open for the following day. So YHC jumped on it, not having Q’d mary in quite some time. It was a pleasure to lead.

    Speaking of pleasures, YHC gathered there were many pleasures out there today. Grunts, groans, and many thanks for the burpee count today. Evenly spaced out, YHC believes they weren’t too bad today.

    Great to see TYA and Marv this morning. YHC thinks we were close to naming Marv’s dog from his FNG appearance 9 days ago but alas, still no declared name. Suggestions following some of the greatest calls in sports history will continue… to Vinny’s delight.

    Way to push through everyone, not a great day for a high intensity workout.

    YHC declares a moratorium on biscuit talk pre-workout.

    Announcements
    Puppy Pile at 7:05 on 9/28.
    Retreat next weekend. Meet Vinny at the Lowes on 360 at 11am or text him for address.

    Peace out fellas. Big Data is still watching…