Author: Splinter

  • No Driving on Sidewalks

    Image result for car driving on sidewalk

    Six hoe regulars convened in the bus loop, waiting for the rain.  No one signed up so we stole from Batteau this AM and hot potato’d it.  Once the rain started, off we went to the front of the school for:

    COP (Splinter)
    Invisible Jumpropes – 25
    Copperhead Squats – 25
    Don Quixotes – 10
    Mountain Climbers – 20ish
    Merkins – 10

    The Thang
    Splinter continued from COP and we mosey’d over to the bus drop off lane for an impromptu series of polar bears.  Polar bear lunge the length of the bus lane, jump squatting after 5 lunges.  Turn around and come back the other direction with traditional polar bears.  Turn around again for lunge polar bears with broad jump burpees every 5 steps.  Attempt crab walk polar bear with 4 count crab cake on the way back.  Flipper completed, others switched to traditional polar bear half way through.

    Toss the potato to Flipper and he led the PAX to the car pool drop off loop for triple check.  BTTW, merkins, and a lap around the loop.

    Lateral the potato to Slurpee for the next round, Dora.  Exercises were merkins, flutter kicks, and squats/lunges.  Be wary of random school workers driving on sidewalks at 550am.

    Transition to the parking lot for a random assortment of Mary which included 6 inches, 2 rounds of ring of fire, 6 inches, single leg APDs, freddy mercuries and LBCs.  Juvenile comments were strong this am.

    COT where Pucker took us out.

    Moleskin
    Nice work by the PAX this morning.  There wasn’t a single exercise in the bunch where one could catch your breath.  That’s what a hot potato will do to you.

    During Dora, YHC had his eyes closed pumping out flutter kicks with the rain gently hitting my face.  I saw the car pull in the drop off loop and drive up on the sidewalk behind the PAX doing flutter kicks but didn’t think much of it.  That was until the horn blew and I looked up and saw a car about 10 feet away from me.  Whoever that was, had the nerve to drive up on the sidewalk, do a u-turn and then try to nestle right up beside the cafeteria wall.  All of this while there are about 25 parking spaces about 30 feet away.  Be on the lookout PAX.  That dude was just out of his mind.  Sorry Pucker, we may have done more flutters than necessary.  I was flustered and lost count.

    Great to see Fudd again and great to see Jack Sparrow becoming a regular at the Tuckahoe AOs.  YHC was surprised when the potato was passed to him during mary and he couldn’t come up with a single ab exercise.  He quickly replied, “I don’t do abs”.

    Announcements
    Amateur RAMM Gears day this Friday.  Bring your bike and have No Tools use his tools to fix it up.

    Splinter out

  • Manscaping Required

    blade, blade of grass, cut

    Twelve fleet-a-foot gathered near the commons for a birthday iteration of Spider Run.  Parking logistics were altered from the norm, causing a scattering of PAX members.  Eventually we all met up for:

    The Thang
    Warm up lap around the lake before convening at the base of gateway and richmond way.  Partner up for beat your partner to the spot.  One partner runs clockwise back up the hill towards the stadium while the other runs counter.  When you meet, tag hands and return to the start.  Repeat, attempting to beat your partner to where you tagged the first time.

    Quick shuffle along the path, through the woods to the base of towana and roselawn for hill repeats.  1 minute up roselawn at ~80%.  Recover back to the bottom of the hill in 1:45.  Repeat for a total of 6 iterations, attempting to meet or beat your previous apex on the hill.

    Mosey back to the flag for COT where YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    This morning was a wonderfully warm and humid day.  YHC picked this day on the calendar back in January and have been thinking about how to challenge the PAX ever since.  We could have done typical 4, 5, and 6 mile routes but that wouldn’t have been very exciting.  Since we haven’t pulled out intervals or hill repeats in a while, YHC figured we could do both.

    Lug was likely disappointed he found us after our jaunt around the lake as he was probably about to embark on his own journey for the day.  Luckily Bleeder found him and he joined in with the rest of us.

    Singer was eager for instructions this morning, and as 530 approached all YHC said was 1 minute gentlemen.  I think everyone knew what was in store after that point.

    Great to see Rosie and Swiper punching their tickets today.  Both of them were crushing the hills today.  Speaking of crushing the hills, there was a little father / son battle one of the final repeats of the morning.  Swirly took off like a cannon only to have Grunt blaze his own trail to the top.  I’ll let either one of them disclose the results.

    Title of the BB today is fair warning to the PAX.  If you attempt to wear heart-shaped sequin tassel pasties (I’ll let you google that on your own) on your birthday while running, you may want to consider some localized prep in the area.  Saab suggested perhaps some more powerful adhesive or proper shaving of the area.  YHC did neither.

    Announcements
    CSAUP
    Puppy Pile

    Enjoy the day gentlemen.  I know I will.

    Splinter out.

  • Roxanne comes to Hoedown

    Nine of God’s finest creations assembled at Tuckahoe Middle School for a last day of hate beatdown.  We delayed for 2 seconds for Two Can to get settled and then off we went.  Mosey up to the blacktop for something like this:

    COP
    SSH – 40
    DQ – 13
    IW – 13
    Copperhead Squats – 13
    LBCs – 40

    Moleskin
    Quick saunter to the end line for a blacktop version of line drills.  This time we deconstructed a burpee then followed it up with burpees.  Run to the 1st goal, 10 merkins.  Run back to the end line then to the 2nd goal for 10 merkins and 10 jump squats.  Back to the end then to the 3rd goal for 10 merkins, 10 jump squats, and 10 leg thrusts.  Run back to the end line then to the 4th goal for 10 merkins, 10 jump squats, 10 leg thrusts, and 10 burpees.  Al Gore for the 6.

    Break out the speaker for Roxanne.  BT had flashbacks to the day he started hating Jville.

    Slow stroll over to the miniature field for triple check.  1 partner does jerkins while the other holds.  Third partner bear crawls down the hill and back.  Repeat for a total of 3 times.

    Jog to the front of the school to locate some bike racks.  Partner up for full extension merkinfest.  3 sets of 13 with the middle set being derkins.  Grab the bike racks for full extension on the decline.

    Dosey doe over to the teacher parking lot for a game of arrows.  Bear crawl between arrows and then complete 5 WWIIs at each arrow.  Modify after a few arrows to alternate between WWIIs and 4 count flutter kicks.  Plank for the 6.

    Mosey over to the cafeteria wall for triple check again.  This time exercises were BTTW, donkey kicks and a lap around the loop.  After 1 iteration, swap out BTTW with people’s chair.

    Circle up for numbers, names and COT with YHC taking us out.

    Moleskin
    What a wonderfully humid day it is today.  YHC couldn’t think of a better way to spend it.  The PAX was fully energized, especially when the speaker appeared, allowing us to complete 27 burpees in 3 minutes and 15 seconds.  28 if you are Mr Holland who got excited and added an extra.

    YHC bounced around the whole AO this morning, wanting to push himself to do a variety of exercises that are typically difficult.  Today was no different.  Thanks for playing along.

    Show up tomorrow at Spider Run.  Wedding Singer suggested we play a game of Edward 40-hands tomorrow.  Only those who post will find out.

    Announcements
    Puppy pile this weekend.  Wedding Singer has a puppy to spare.

    Splinter out.

  • Audible Monday

    Ten of the region’s finest assembled in the waning crescent for a hot potato Q.  With the regulars gone, Hoedown is turning into a regular “who want’s it” staredown.  YHC took control this morning before passing the potato.  Mosey to the black top ocean for COP that went something like this:

    COP
    SSH – 25
    DQ – 10
    MC – 20
    LBC – 20
    Arm Circles – 15 each way
    Mosey back to the drop off loop just as Flipper arrives.

    The Thang
    Start off with Dora, the traditional way, not the proper way.  Partner 1 runs around the loop while partner 2 does an exercise on the hill.  Exercises were 100 incline (feet up the hill) WWIIs, 200 clockwork merkins (50 at noon, 3, 6, and 9), 300 single count lunges.

    Pass the potato to Slurpee who took us down Lindsay.  Modified polar bear back up the hill.  Seven stride bear crawl followed by 7 merkins.  I’ll call this the Slurpee Bear.  Repeat until you get to the 6th car then partner up and partner carry up the hill and back down to the bottom.  50 jump squats then sprint back to the VSF.

    EF Hutton took charge for mary, teasing us with something special he has been working on.  Alas, that will have to wait.  Mary included Freddie Mercuries, six inches, Wilson’s spaghetti party (two ways) then a ring of fire.

    Numberama, namerama, then Flip dog properly took us out.

    Moleskin
    Today was the day of audibles, lots of ideas that required modification.  YHC took two of those honors, first with the attempted incline WWIIs.  That was a complete disaster.  Audible to flat WWIIs.  The second audible of the day was cutting 300 lunges down to 200.  YHC was getting bored.

    Slurpee continued Audible Monday with two audibles of his own.  The Slurpee Bear was a pure smoker.  Third audible was to lunge as necessary.  Fourth audible was to only go 3 cars instead of the full 6.  I imagine this seemed like a good idea in his head.  Note to the PAX, careful calling on Slurpee during a hot potato.

    The PAX wasn’t very creative during COT when naming our FNG.  Ponch did a good job providing background but nothing juicy stood out.  We tried the first concert (Travis Tritt), after which the PAX stood at each other trying to pull a Travis Tritt song.  Flipper finally pulled Trouble.  Sabotage indicated the FNG was light on his feet running up the hill, which prompted Twinkle Toes.  No one was excited about it but we rolled with it as there were no other creative options.  While driving home, YHC noticed that the license plate for our FNG was “JZY JFF”.  After a post workout conference with the Qs and Flipper, we settled on Carlton.  Ponch, let your boy know he is now Carlton not Twinkle Toes.  You are welcome.

    Ring of fire with dealer’s choice merkins was a sight.  Especially Two Can demonstrating proper hand clap merkins.  Boy can get off the ground.

    Well done all.  See everyone soon.

    Splinter out.

  • Old Glory Meets Four Corners

    Twelve fart-sack escapees convened at Hoedown for a Slurpee replacement Q.  Actually, there were 9 of us and three tricklers.  Today was not the day to be late to the AO.  Huddle up then off we went, north on Forest to the church parking lot for…

    COP
    SSH – x25
    Burpee – x1
    Russian Soldiers – x20
    Burpee – x2
    Imperial Walkers – x20
    Burpee – x3
    Copperhead Squats – x15
    Burpee – x4
    Don Quixotes – x10
    Burpee – x5

    The Thang
    Slide over about 10 feet to start 4 corners with Old Glory exercises at each corner.  The first time through we bear crawled to the first corner, 20 merkins, crab walk to second corner, 20 jump squats, bear crawl to third corner, 10 burpees, crab walk to fourth corner for 20 WWIIs.  Al Gore.

    Second round included the same exercises but the distance between the corners increased.  This time it was the perimeter of the parking lot around the church.  Backwards run when you are on the roads and forward run otherwise.  Al Gore.

    Third round was all running, same exercises at the corners.  Run out Rock Creek to Baldwin, Baldwin to Stuart Hall, Stuart Hall to Forest, then back to Rock Creek.  Plank-o-rama.

    Mosey back to the school via Paris and partner up for a modified catch me if you can.  Partner 1 bear crawls sideways on the incline hill in the parking lot while partner 2 completes 10 merkins then runs to catch up.  Down to the end and back.

    Same partners, partner 1 holds 6″ while the other runs the bus loop.  Repeato x3.

    Circle up for some quick mary which included American Hammers (x20) and LBCs (x20).

    Numbers, names and YHC took us out with some advice that may not pass the HR muster.

    Moleskin
    YHC was pinged by Slurpee yesterday indicating he couldn’t take the Q today so YHC stepped in.  YHC has not done an old glory in quite some time but Hoedown is not very conducive for said routine.  Thus the modification with 4 corners of escalating size.

    Vinny was very thankful for all the running today as he has been lacking recently.  Also, great to see Sabotage out there for the first time in a while.  Kudos to Ponch who just notched his 4th workout in his first 8 days.  Keep it up!

    Celebratory toast of the day goes to Sugar Sock who hit his 100th workout today.  BT had the nerve to ask him how he knew how many times he had posted.  Silly BT.

    Great to see the variety of faces today.  Summer challenge is in full effect.

    Announcements
    Puppy Pile – 705 Saturday
    Frisbee tomorrow at Heartbreak
    Convergence 7/4 at 700 @ Tredegar

    Splinter out.

  • Give Thanks for Topography

    RAMM Topography

    Seven by foot, two on wheels, and 1 taperer arrived at Munford, ready to cut through the humidity and tackle today’s edition of RAMM.  Huddle up and question who had the Q before YHC gave the following directions:

    West on Grove.  Left on Oak.  Cross Cary to Hillcrest.

    4 milers:  3 Hillcrest loops
    5 milers:  4 Hillcrest loops
    6 milers:  5 Hillcrest loops

    Everyone return the same way.

    Numbers.  Names.  Marv took us out, giving thanks to topography.

    Moleskin
    Flatline contacted YHC yesterday afternoon indicating he was planning to fartsack and needed someone to cover.  His excuse was his M had secured tickets to see Faith Hill and Tim McGraw last night.  The closest theme YHC could come up with on short notice is for us to put our faith in our abilities and tackle hills today.  Thus the idea to celebrate Faith Hill by running loops around Hillcrest.  You can thank Flatline for the result today.

    The air was thick this morning.  Sorry for slowing you down today Marv, YHC wasn’t quite feeling it.  Fudd was in his prime having consumed a few scotches and a few glasses of wine.  That’s akin to spinach for Popeye.

    Great to see everyone today.  YHC can only assume the lower RAMM numbers were due to the PAXs desire to see Faith Hill or to drink Flashdance’s coffee at Twin Team.

    Enjoy the day.  Splinter out.

  • The Unspoken Things

    Eleven relatively on-time steeds plus three early birds convened post-run to celebrate this week’s RAMM.  Routes were given to a small group while others filtered in:

    The Route
    Everyone work their way over to Monument.  West on Monument to Willow Lawn. Left on Willow Lawn then right on Patterson.  Left on Libbie then left on Grove.  Back to the VSF.

    4 milers went up Commonwealth to Monument.
    5 milers went east on Grove to Hamilton to Monument.
    6 milers went east on Grove to Cleveland to Monument.

    Numbers, names, announcements, and YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    Chatter was lively in the 6 mile crew today with many questions centered around the CSAUP and its potential next year.  Phonics was keen to identify the luck we had in avoiding the NASCAR event this weekend.  That was not on YHCs radar when the date was picked.  That could have made Meadowbridge that much more interesting.

    About half the PAX strolled in right at 5:30 and YHC did not feel compelled to repeat himself as representation was had from 4, 5, and 6 milers.  Hope everyone found their way accordingly.

    I will state that the 6 mile route was clocked at 6.00 miles on the garmin this morning.  I can only assume the other routes were equally as perfect.

    YHC is extremely thankful for being dragged out to F3 three years ago.  It’s a great story if you haven’t heard it and I’m thankful to Fudd for the persistence.  There are times I reflect on the people I know and the things I have done and realize none of them would have happened had I not discovered this group.  We rib each other constantly and push our physical abilities into new territories.  Sometimes I think the biggest benefit of this group are things we don’t talk about on a regular basis.  Sure, we make each other better by pushing ourselves to new heights but there is more to it than that.

    My previous circles of influence were family, work, church, and perhaps my neighborhood.  If we didn’t share one of those circles it was unlikely an interaction would stick.  F3 is a new circle for me and it’s broader and more diverse than I expected it to be.  The F3 circle isn’t really a circle.  It looks more like our CSAUP route than a circle, weaving through different cross sections of age, industry and beliefs.  It’s those unspoken things that I think about from time to time and I’m thankful for all of it.

    Announcements
    – Dopile tshirt orders open to the end of the month
    – Extra CSAUP tshirts available for those that want one.  I have a few M/L left.  No Schmediums.
    – Colonial relay is off!  Think about them as they traverse the roads from Cville to Wburg.

    Splinter out

  • The Simpsons

    Fourteen reruns and 1 brand new episode (FNG) descended on Mary today for a Splinter led themed beatdown.  After a short mosey halfway around the track we circled up for some fun that went something like this:

    COP
    The Homer – 15x modified helicopters, reaching around Homer’s spare tire at mid-waist
    The Marge – 10x jump squats, trying to touch the top of Marge’s hair
    The Lisa – Lisa likes perfection so we followed along with Saab and did 15 or so Don Quixotes
    The Bart – On your six, with a marker between your toes, flutter kicks pretending like you are drawing Bart’s haircut.  20 or so of those
    The Maggie – Maggie does nothing but make a sucking noise.  Burpees suck so we did 10 of them OYO.

    The Thang
    Short mosey over to the long edge of the tennis courts for a little Simpson’s trivia.  What is Homer Simpson’s job?  Someone quickly replied Safety Inspector for Sector 7G.  YHC decided to go nuclear on the next exercise.  Bear Crawl 1-2-3.  Partner up where one partner bear crawls to the net and back while the other performs exercises.  100 merkins, 200 LBCs, 300 squats.  Plankorama when done.

    Circle up for the next section of trivia.  According to Homer, what is the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems?  Two Can sort of guessed it with beer, but alas it is alcohol.  In F3 the cause and solution are burpees.  So we did 10 minutes of them.

    Quick jaunt over to the wall for triple check with a brief explanation that one of YHCs favorite episodes is Homer at the Bat.  Baseball, triple, get it?  Explanation cut short and focused on triple check: donkey kicks, plank, karaoke.

    Speed round lap of catch me if you can with 1 partner running backwards while the other completes 10 merkins and then runs forward to catch up.  One lap then Al Gore for the six.

    Mosey back to the flag for numbers, names and YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    YHC hasn’t done a themed workout in a while, well, if you exclude March Madness.  Looking at the calendar YHC was reminded of the introduction of The Simpsons on April 19, 1987 on the Tracy Ullman Show.  Seems like a fitting tribute.

    Homer at the Bat is arguable one of the top 5 Simpsons episodes of all time and one of YHCs favorites.  Homer leads a team of misfits through an undefeated season in the corporate softball league with his “Wonder Bat”.  In the championship game, naturally against the Shelbyville nuclear power plant team, Mr. Burns decides he is going to hire a bunch of professional baseball players in made up jobs at the plant so he can cement his win.  Through a series of very comical errors and misfortunes all of the professional players are injured or cannot play thus leaving the original team.  All with the exception of 1.  Darryl Strawberry can play so Homer sits out.  I won’t ruin it for anyone that wants to watch the end.  If you need the DVD just let me know.   Baseball led me to the triple check, thus the long winded story.

    Catch em if you Can is another great but somewhat obscure Simpsons episode.  Homer and Marge trick their kids into staying home on a vacation instead of visiting family out of town.  Instead, Homer and Marge decide to hit up Miami Beach, AC and other venues.  Bart and Lisa find out and decide to chase them around the US.  The perfect satire of the typical American family.  Our tribute to this was catch me if you can.

    YHC had a few other references planned but somewhat glad we didn’t get to them as I cherry picked the things that I really wanted to do.

    Anyway, hope the PAX enjoyed the trip down memory lane.  Kudos to whomever it was that pulled the Sector 7G reference.  A true fan!

    Splinter out

  • The Night We Saw Them All

    A PAX eclipsing 40 ditched all common sense for about 18 hours to receive a plentiful helping of each of the three Fs.  This was the F3RVA Century Classic.

    YHC has conversed with a number of individual PAX members about their experience, taking notes during the event and thinking about how to transcribe all of these memories into a backblast.  There is no way YHC could do the stories justice by attempting to capture them for the collective PAX.  Then, after chatting with Lockjaw and the (sober) Ronnie, it became clear.  Treat the backblast as a living backblast.  YHC will make no attempt to capture the essence of this workout, only setting the stage for each and every PAX member to capture it for himself.

    My memories are collected below.  I encourage everyone to add to this list by commenting with your favorite memory.

    Leg 1:  Trying to contain my energy for the CSAUP while stuck in traffic for opening night of the squirrels game
    Leg 2:  Praying for Saab on Meadowbridge and Atlee Rd.  Kudos to all that ran that leg, a true game of frogger
    Leg 3:  All the Mechanicsville PAX member who were not running, companion running with the actual runners.  Kudos!
    Leg 4:  The Creek parking lot is great for fellowship.  This truly felt like a tailgate parking lot.  The energy, games and conversation were all electric.
    Leg 5:  The headlamp on my run reflecting all the pollen flying through the air with me initially thinking it was raining.  30 minutes later realizing all that pollen was being sucked into my lungs at an incredible rate.
    Leg 6:  Hearing of TYA and Swirly questioning if YHC actually marked his legs of the course and me telling them where they can shove it.
    Leg 7:  Realizing how peaceful and quiet the city can be when when you are in it and surrounded by trees.  The new moon highlighted the stars and all their brilliance.
    Leg 8:  Showing up to Hoedown and having Ronnie greet us after his enjoyable evening.
    Leg 9:  Marv almost taking out another animal with his running shoes.
    Leg 10:  Thinking about how comfortable it is to try to sleep on the top of a picnic table.
    Leg 11:  Watching the back and forth between Saab complaining about not being able to sleep and Upchuck for waking him up.
    Leg 12:  Waving to the UR security guard while sitting in a white van with 4 men laying on the ground.  He waved and continued by.
    Leg 13:  Marv learning that Fudd was going to show up only for leg 18 and would still get a tshirt.
    Leg 14:  Seeing Lockjaw drive 20 in a 45 on Charter Colony so he could stay between the lines.
    Leg 15:  Reminding Marv that Fudd was still sleeping.
    Leg 16:  Hearing of a certain individual’s multiple escapades to the bathroom at a singular Wawa.
    Leg 17:  Making the van take a 3 mile detour to Wawa so YHC could get a breakfast hoagie, thus missing the final hand-off.
    Leg 18:  Pulling into Dogpile, realizing it was almost over and thinking the whole experience was too fast.

    This humble correspondent would like to thank everyone involved with making this event successful, especially those listed in the QIC list.  Without it, this would have been a completely stupid and utterly failure of an event.

    Splinter out.

  • Countryside Lollipop

    Eleven intrepid runners tried something new today, heading west into uncharted territory.  Pretty straightforward instructions today:

    The Route
    Head west around the lake, through the trail and up University.  Cross Forest, quick jog to the right on Ralston and continue on University.  When University takes a hard right don’t turn, instead go straight into someone’s driveway, continuing along the path and through the park to get dumped out on Roslyn Hills.  Right on Roslyn Hills.  4 milers go to the top of the hill and return the way you came.  5 milers take a left on September, which turns into Countryside, left on Ruggles, Left on Roslyn Hills then right into the park and back home.  6 milers did some mother goosing to make sure instructions were clear.

    Circle up to listen to the geese, ducks and seals where YHC took us out.

    Moleskin
    The PAX was excited to try something new today, and YHC was happy to oblige.  There were many raised eyebrows and questions when the instructions came to “continue down someone’s driveway”.  For those in the know, it’s a common cut through to the park.

    There were also many suppositions regarding the street name Ruggles.  After some Internet research, YHC determined the joke was really around The Rutles, which was a Beatles parody band.  Still never heard of them.

    Always fun catching up with Saab on a run.  Great work everyone, will bring this one back out when our natural light illuminates the path a little more.  Lab Rat managed to not get lost, which makes for a successful rote.

    Post COT chatter centered around appropriate and questionable usage of activated charcoal, frequency of Chipotle visits, and Lab Rat congratulating EF Hutton (virtually) on his championship in the F3 bracket.

    Enjoy the day.  Splinter out.