Author: Splinter

  • Amateur Hour

    Three cycling professionals and 4 semi-pro runners gathered at RAMM today, hoping for just the right amound of rain but not too much. Cyclists were pleased, runners were not. After Offshore looked at Phonics and Phonics asked, “are we riding today? ok.”, a theme appropriate route was called and off we went.

    The Route

    • Gears crew did their thing, crossing paths with the runners a few times. We will call their route the “Flock of Gnats” route.
    • Runners, after some discussion of what was forwards and reverse, did the Reverse Carillon route.

    Numbers, names, no announcements before YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    There was a lot of discussion this week about amateur RAMM gears so YHC was expecting a large crowd today. When I arrived at 522 to see nary a soul (except TYA wandering around on his bike), I began to wonder if I had the wrong day? Apparently the weather scared away the amateurs, leaving only professional bikers.

    Since no one grabbed the RAMM Q, YHC sat for a minute or two thinking about an appropriate route to complement the (apparent lack of) RAMM Gears participants, I was reminded of a classic Marv incident that got Saab all riled up back in the day.

    You see… there was a period of time where RAMM Qs got lazy. Someone would just show up and call out a well known route and off we would go. Saab, in his peak of youthful running shape, would go out early for a pre-run and then show up back at the launch (when someone actually had the Q), expecting a well thought out route that would possibly bring in virgin ground. At least something unique. When someone didn’t think of something unique, Saab would express his disdain and off he would go with the rest of the PAX. If words could describe his facial expression when this would happen, it would be:

    Looks like I completely wasted my time coming back to meet up with these nincompoops.
    I should have just kept running by myself.

    Saab. circa 2021

    Which brings us back to the main part of the story. During an amateur RAMM gears outing a few years ago, Marv had signed up to Q RAMM proper. YHC texted him the night before and said, “ditch RAMM, find a bike, and let’s go ride.” So he did just that.

    Marv, sticking with his MO, shows up about 2 minutes prior to launch, hurriedly getting his bike prepped, before sticking his head into the circle of runners and shouting two words. “Reverse Carrilon”. Given the context above, you can imagine how excited some people were. Trust me, read Marv’s backblast from 2021 and you will see my memory is actually pretty sharp on this one.

    That that brings us to today. With very little time to plan a route and it being amateur RAMM gears day, YHC thought it would be a fitting tribute to call out reverse carillon. So that’s what we did. And it was kind of funny for a few seconds.

    I don’t know why I felt like calling out Saab so much in this backblast because he actually wasn’t even there today. He will also likely not read this backblast so it will fall on deaf ears. But as Paul Harvey used to say,

    And now you know the REST of the story…

    Good day!

    Splinter

  • Organic Convergence

    Fifteen gentlemen and scholars arrived at Mary today with no enticement needed other than seeing Splinter on the Q. After the northern peacock strutted his stuff to our visitor and then shielded himself with the wall named Swirly, off we went to the blacktop for today’s 45MoM fun.

    COP

    COP stands for Circle of Pain. It doesn’t stand for Circle of <insert other ‘p’ word here>. Therefore we did hard things.

    • 10x Hellicopters
    • 1x Burpee
    • 20x SSH
    • 2x Burpees
    • 10x Merkins
    • 3x Burpees
    • 10x Copperhead Squats
    • 4x Burpees
    • 10x Penguins, appropriately stored up from yesterday’s Oyster snubbing. Rosie was offered the opportunity to leave at this point but wisely decided to stay
    • 5x Burpees
    • 10x Don Quixote’s, Abe Vigoda style & approved by Saab with an 👌
    • 6x Burpees
    • 10x High Knees
    • 7x Burpees
    • 10x CDDs
    • 8x Burpees
    • 10x Side Lunges
    • 9x Burpees
    • 10x APDs
    • 10x Burpees
    • 1x Mountain Climbers

    The Thang

    Brief mosey over to the western edge of the field for our next exercise. 11s using trees as the markers. Someone astutely pointed out that one of our trees was gone so how would we do 11s? We figured it out. Run to the first tree then 10 merkins, back to the line for 1 jump squat. Continue along the trees, adding the far sidewalk as the 1/10 set. Various 10 counts offered by Last Call and 1-800. Kubota demonstrated his graduation from Wilson’s school of winning by offering himself a healthy head start after each set.

    Slow, sweaty saunter back to the edge of the school where we tripled up for a check. Air presses, pickle pounders, and karaoke to the fence and back were called. Classic 45MoM variation of this staple.

    Scurry back to the flag where we circled up (with YHC in the circle) for 4 minutes of mary which included 20x each of LBCs, Flutter Kicks, Freddie Mercuries, and American Hammers. Mumblechatter was so high during hammers that we lost count and called time. Kubota advised in advance he needed to leave right on time, which was allowed even though he left a minute early.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out. Celebrating new life and the strength and power of the human spirit.

    Announcements

    • Homegrown half early August
    • Convergence next Thursday @ Batteau
    • Slack is open 24/7 for jovial banter and mudslinging

    Moleskin

    Thanks to Rosie and Cal Worthington for the extra nudge to show up at 5 for a little bit of pre-work. No extra backblast here, just a few dudes sharing fellowship and getting stronger. Only took 30 seconds before a truck doused us with puddled rain water. There is nothing more refreshing on a 75 degree morning than being pummeled by street water that has been cooking on the hot pavement. Thanks for Cal for ducking so YHC could experience the full onslaught.

    The main event started with ample chatter. Last Call even showed up, likely expecting no hills, to which he was rewarded.

    History lesson, 45 Minutes of Mary was the 2nd workout created in F3RVA, and we had a founding member in our presence today. Great to see 15 strong show up for one of the OG workouts in RVA. Goes to show that even after almost 10 years, you can still introduce variety to a tried and true AO.

    No, no monkeys flew out of anyone’s buttholes, but there may have been a few desires to hurl today. We can only hope that the sight of TYA’s creamy white thighs didn’t make anyone feel kind of funny today, you know like when we used to climb the rope in gym class?

    Thanks for letting me lead today. Splinter out.

  • Trespassing is Fun

    Thirteen Spider Runlings, including one that took the Slack bait and popped his cherry, met in the well lit bowl for this week’s highly anticipated Spider Run. After the noob put away his broga mat, instructions were offered. Initial instructions included obeying the no trespassing signs but those were quickly disregarded, so off we went for the lawless route.

    The Route

    • Through the bat cave to River / Huguenot / Cary intersection
    • Go straight through the intersection, keeping the jewelry store on your right, across the wooden bridge, to virgin ground
    • Continue across the train tracks, take first right, then first right, then back left across the bridge and back to lawful territory
    • Left down Huguenot to Westham Station
    • Right on Panorama, turn around when it starts going up hill
    • Right on Westham Station
    • Right on Old Bridge, turn around when you get to the fork in the road
    • Right on Westham Station to the end where it turns right to South Ridge
    • Wave at the hill and turn around
    • Right on Old Bridge, across the metal bridge then continue to a left into second section of private property
    • Continue until you can’t go any further than return back to Westham Station
    • Back through the bat cave
    • 5s and 6s do a loop around the lake, we all figured out the correct distances

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Announcements

    • First Watch Deliverance workout tomorrow at 5am sharp at Huguenot Flatwater. 5am departure so get your boat in the water and ready to go before then. Ask a friend if you need a vessel.

    Moleskin

    I never knew we had such rebels in our crew (actually, it fits the M.O.). YHC drove the private routes last night and determined that some people may not appreciate crossing the clearly marked private property / no trespassing signs. I was wrong, so back to the pre-planned route. The virgin ground was beautiful.

    YHC was shocked to see Last Call today. Clearly the allure of the flattest spider run ever, or perhaps it was the virgin reference, got him out of the sack to try out Spider Run today. Welcome back any time.

    Ample mumblechatter this morning, culminating for me with Chippendale’s suggestion to try to catch the deer. YHC only had visions of boxing kangaroos and the negative outcomes that would prevail.

    Enjoy a blessed day everyone.

    Splinter out.

  • The Hills are Alive 3

    TYA & Swirly

  • The Hills are Alive 2

    TYA & Swirly

  • The Power of 12

    As the title indicates, twelve gloom seekers gathered and stared at each other, with only one asking if it was a hot potato. Everyone else seemed to know who had the Q. Jovial banter, then off we went for something similar to:

    COP

    • Mosey around the drop-off loop then up to the blacktop
    • 25x SSH
    • 10x Helicopters
    • 10x Copperheads
    • 10x DQs
    • 10x Mountain Climbers
    • 10x Merkins
    • 15x LBCs

    The Thang

    Saunter down to the end of the blacktop for Bleeder Sprints (a.k.a. Sex Panthers, thanks Mr. Rogers). 2x 50%, 2x 75%, 2x 90%, 2x Full Throttle.

    Stay on the blacktop and partner up for more running on pavement. One partner runs to the end and back while the other does merkins, squats, LBCs. Repeato x3.

    Slowsey to the parking lot for 11s. Bernie Sanders to the hill then up the hill. Derkins at the top and WWIIs at the other end.

    Finished right on time.

    Moleskin

    Thanks to Kubota’s Westhoegean Weekly, YHC didn’t realize it had been so long since I took the Q. After an inquiry from Marv last night if YHC was going to Hoedown or Pickleball, YHC grabbed the Q. Funny, Marv was missing.

    Plenty of mumblechatter this AM as counting was at a minimum. From internships to pump fakes on Q sign ups, we covered it all this AM.

    Pleasure to lead fellas. Glad we never made it more than 100 yards from where we started.

    ¡Adiós Muchachos!

    Announcements

    • Memorial Day convergence on Memorial Day. 7am at Belle Isle parking lot

  • North and South Day

    Somewhere between 8 and 16 RAMM’ers of various styles, gathered today for a Q-less RAMM. Prior to departure from home, YHC came up with the following, just in case. In case was needed.

    The Route

    • South boundary was Grove
    • 4s North boundary was Franklin
    • 5s North boundary was Monument
    • 6s North boundary was Cutshaw
    • West to Bunting, cutting over to Chantilly, right at your cross street
    • Right on Westmoreland
    • Left on Grove, left on Commonwealth, right at your cross street
    • Right on Sauer, left on Grove, left on Antrim, right at your cross street
    • Right on Malvern, right on Grove, BTTVSF

    Numbers, names, Marv took us out.

    Moleskin

    Some people did this, others missed a turn. Overall, pretty successful morning.

    Gears galore this AM. Well done fellas.

    Announcements

    • Pickleball at Batteau starting this (also next) Monday. 0530.

    Splinter out.

  • A Visit by the Mascot

    Eleven or more hill lovers met in the bowl for today’s spider run. Instructions were brief as the route was well known, nary a mention of the alternate name for Ross’ bottom.

    The Route

    • Batcave to Westham station
    • Up south ridge to the light
    • 4s turn around and come home
    • 5s and 6s add Ross on the way down
    • 6s add Highland

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    Good tried but true route this AM. Thanks for Lockjaw, in abstentia, for introducing this variant many moons ago.

    We intersected Saab on Westham Station and he joined us for a brief minute. Only he knows where he went.

    During COT, a large brown spider appeared and joined the circle. We closed our eyes, said a prayer, and when they opened, he was gone. I’m sure he’s fine.

    Sorry for the day late fellas.

  • Triangle of Pain

    Three Mary’s, including a Jimmy, arrived just in time to fire up 45MOM for the week. Clock struck time so YHC got us rolling. Mosey to the tennis courts, avoiding the new tripping hazards, for:

    COP

    • 20x SSH
    • 10x Helicopters
    • 10x IWs
    • 10x DQs
    • 15x Flashdances
    • 10x Merkins
    • 15x LBCs

    The Thang

    Line up on the side of the tennis courts for triple check. Flutter kicks, CDDs, pace car runs and does 2x, 3x, 4x, 5x burpees at corresponding breaks in the courts.

    Short mosey to the track for a couple rounds of circuits, leg lifts, pull ups, step ups.

    Transition to Slippin’ Jimmy for 2 rounds of 4 corners. 10x merkins, 20x american hammers, 30x LBCs, 40x squats.

    Shift to Hitchhiker and mosey to the pavilion. Pole smokers, dips, WWIIs to get ready for beach body.

    Mosey back for numbers, names, and Jimmy took us out.

    Moleskin

    You learn a lot about people when there are only 3 of you at a workout. Ample time for mumblechatter ranging from adult talk, sports overload, teen driving habits, and ecommerce spitefulness.

    Prayers for those in our lives that have gangrene.

    Splinter out.

  • Toilet Paper and Duece Droppings

    Six dudes, each excited to be there, met in the bowl to discuss routes. Q sheet opened up last night so YHC grabbed it and threw out a well known route. Glenbrooke Circle.

    The Route

    4s: https://onthegomap.com/s/2it64s81
    5s: https://onthegomap.com/s/cb4drrlo
    6s: https://onthegomap.com/s/snnefdlg

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    Routes were posted yesterday evening and even though there were stipulations provided for traveling on Ralston, no enforcement was to be seen. Half of us made it up Summit, one was conveniently solo when he got to the top. Hmmmmm.

    Questions abound as to why the first class streets are so wide when no one parks on the street.

    Sneaky hills on that route. 6 milers had 9 hills, 5 milers 8, 4 milers 6. Fun times.

    New route planned for a few weeks. Don’t skip a Splinter Q.

    ✌️