Author: Splinter

  • Too Confusing, Go with the Standby

    Ump-teen runners/walkers/ruckers gathered in our favorite Tuesday morning spot for today’s route. To alleviate any anxiety amongst the PAX, YHC stated our intended route at 525. There was a shit-eating grin on Saab’s face for some reason. I can never tell if he is happy or sad when intervals aren’t called. Regardless, we launched at 530 with a reminder of today’s route. Mount Henrico. Some didn’t hear the first time it was called and thus were relieved that we weren’t doing intervals. Welcome Sippy Cup back and then off we went.

    The Route

    It’s been well documented throughout the years so I’ll summarize here.

    Right, left, left, right, right, left, right/left, left, left, (ruckers return here), right, left (4s & 6s), left (6s), right, left. Return and come home at your appropriate points following these directions.

    Right, left, right/right (6s), left, right, right, right/left, right, left, left, right, right, left.

    Numbers, names, more numbers, more names, departures, announcements, more departures, more arrivals, YHC took us out.

    Announcements

    • Pickleball tourney this Saturday. See Hitch to register. There will be prizes.
    • Ruckhenge with Q source on Wednesday’s at 0500 at Stony Point Einsteins.

    Moleskin

    We may start on time at F3 but Spider Run tends to end at various times depending on your pace/desires. No worries, any time you are slugging the miles with your buds, it’s all good.

    Ample discussion this morning in my group consisted of slacking (not the good kind) college students, office space (lower case, not upper case), upcoming babies (not mine), random half marathon training (possibly mine), olympic highs and lows, followed by Garbage Plate finally remembering the name of his daughter’s y-princess tribe. How-how!!!

    Great to have Sippy Cup back out in the gloom. Glad to hear he is on the up-and-up. We almost lost Faceplant when Sippy started describing his procedure. He’s used to parking lot paint, not blood.

    Great to see all the faces out there today. Perfect running weather is on the horizon.

    Splinter out.

  • Upchuck the Omniscient

    Seven RAMMers debunked Debby by huddling in the non-lit parking lot waiting for instructions. Once they were given, and Upchuck proclaimed his prediction was accurate, off we went through the knee high fescue for an oldie but goodie route.

    The Route

    • West on Groooove
    • Right on Three Chopt, right on St Christophers
    • Right on Patterson
    • Spot the golden arches
    • 4s right on Westmoreland
    • 5s right on Malvern then back on Grove

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Announcements

    • Kudos to The Bridge patriots for signing up a couple times a year. If you haven’t been (YHC included), prioritize it one weekend.
    • 8/21 birthday celebration at First Watch
    • Pickleball tourney on 8/17
    • Prayers for Sippy as he recovers. See you out here soon!

    Moleskin

    YHC finished #bigdata last night and was surprised while reading through some of the early RAMM backblasts how simple they were (Inaugural RAMM). TYA always jokes about that but for some reason YHC didn’t realize how consistently simple they were. Always on Grove, generally with time at the end for a little Mary before the clock ran out. Today was a tribute to some of those OG routes, simple but effective.

    The east wind made for a quick jaunt down grove, followed by stale air on St Chris before turning right into the belly of the beast on Patterson. Wind and a little rain was welcome as the tropics were in the air.

    Enjoyed the fellowship as always gang. SYITG.

    Splinter out

  • Spin the Bottle

    Eight ruckers assembled in the moonlight (no that was parking lot lights) for a prompt 0500 launch of Ruckhenge. Walking disclaimer and welcome as we went off for a 3 mile ruck.

    The Route

    Lights on and head towards Huguenot. West on Huguenot to Jimmy Winters, left on Rattlesnake past the library, right on Pulliam, loop around Bon Air Elementary via the newly paved trail. Quick side step around the not-yet-complete bridge before heading north on McRae. Left on Bullington, through the trail to the church, then back towards the launch site. Add a loop behind the AO through the office park then back to the flag for an even 3.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    The general theme for the route was an opportunity for YHC to reminisce on early childhood locations. Libraries, ball fields, and quite possibly a spin the bottle location. Ample stories about firsts started the ruck, followed by a random assortment of topics.

    Thanks for letting me join the fun this am. Always good to connect with different folks.

    Splinter out.

  • Not Enough Arm Circles for Some

    Twelve of the most able bodied gentlemen around gathered at random moments leading up to a prompt 0530 launch of NoToll. DK squealed in barely on time but caught up to the PAX fairly quickly. Short mosey to Field #1 to kickoff this NoToll takeover.

    COP

    • 20x SSH
    • 10x Ukrainian Soldiers
    • 10x IWs
    • 15x Arm Circles forwards/reverse
    • 10x Helicopters
    • 10x Copperhead squats
    • 20x LBCs
    • 10x MCs

    The Thang

    Short jaunt over to the sideline where YHC proclaimed we would be doing a broken merkin ladder. Everyone rejoiced? Run across the field for 20 merkins, back across for 19. Continue to 16 then Al Gore for the six. Break exercises were 2 sets each of 20 jump squats and WWIIs.

    Saunter along the tree line to Field #2 for the second iteration of the broken ladder. 15 – 11. Break exercises were 20x dips and step ups on the benches. 2 sets.

    Three full strides over to Field #3 for ladder elements 10 – 6. Al Gore on the other side before break exercises of two sets of 20 monkey humpers and 20 2-count american hammers.

    Shimmy over to the parking lot for ladder elements 5 – 1. Finish up on the recycling side with 20 lunges and 20 LBCs. Only one set as we had other business attend to.

    Slowsey back to the basketball courts where YHC collected 3 tennis balls. Broad side of a barn was called. PAX had to throw a tennis ball from the 3 point line and hit the backboard. Hit, no penalty. Miss, penalty. A variety of hits and misses with bear crawls, crab walks, something else, and burpees as penalties. You will have to ask the PAX if they hit or missed.

    Circle up for a minute of APDs much to the likeness of Last Call before numbers, names, and YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    Much mumblechatter between DK and Last Call during COP. Those two acted like two sorority girls that hadn’t seen each other since those unspoken activities at their senior formal.

    YHC appreciates the hospitality shown by the NoToll regulars. It was hard for me to believe, but it has been since January 2016 since YHC Q’d NoToll. The fields are as nice as ever and the camaraderie is almost as great. See y’all in 2032!

    Splinter out.

  • Switching Partners at Hoedown

    Six Hoedown zealots gathered in the “too dark for pickleball” parking lot for this takeover? edition of Hoedown. Is it really a takeover when it’s one of yours? Regardless, we waited for the Q before YHC stiff armed Oyster proclaiming, “I got this”. Short mosey around the drop off loop then up to the pavement ocean for:

    COP

    • 10x Helicopters
    • 10x DQs
    • 10x Copperhead Squats
    • 20x SSHs
    • 20x MCs
    • 20x LBCs

    Short mosey, most slowsey’d, to one end of the pavement for Dora. Partner up for merkins (100), jump squats (200), LBCs (300 – courtesy Señor Frog).

    Second short mosey over to the jerkin gym. New partner then 5 rounds of jerkins (10, 8, 6, 4, 2). Careful your shoulders don’t hit the ground…

    Quick saunter up the concrete path to the very green and filling in rec field. New partner. One partner runs and does 5 pull ups while the other does step ups. Three rounds.

    Shuffle over to the swingsets. We had six people and six swings, so seemed appropriate. 10x derkins with feet in the swings. 75% sprint across the field and back. 10x derkins in the swings, 90% sprint across the field and back. 10x derkins in the swings, 100% sprint across the field.

    Scurry back to the parking lot for one more round of sprints, competition style. Run, touch the white donation box, then back to the sidewalk. First to touch the sidewalk with their hand wins (kind of like rugby tries, where they have to touch the ball to the ground after the try. For some reason I’ll never know). YHC won because Faceplant didn’t follow directions.

    Since Señor ad-hoc’d up and down the hill by the fence, YHC decided to have more fence fun. Run to the hill, bernie up the hill, 10 derkins, run back across, 10 WWIIs. After much deliberation, Last Call announced round 2 exercises. Dirty hookups and DQs. Faceplant was ready for round three and proclaimed the final exercises which for some reason YHC cannot remember. Probably because I was laughing at Oyster being dissed.

    ROF 10x dealer’s choice followed by 20x APDs with the final count extra long.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    Thanks for letting me lead today. With a takeover Q no-show, YHC wasn’t about to let Oyster steal the show. See y’all this week.

    Splinter out.

  • Middle-Aged Dudes, Randomly Assorted

    Eight social media stalkers gathered in the adequately paved church parking lot for this week’s iteration of First Watch. After offering appreciation to each for the birthday wishes, we took a left out of the parking lot and commenced our journey. When we passed the back church driveway and kept heading west on River, there was a collective sigh from the PAX.

    The Thang

    Traveling COP today. Right turn on Gaymont with the first stop at the bottom. Circle up for Helicopters, DQs, IWs.

    Mosey up to Kingston for some more COP, then halfway down Kingston for more. Pencil roll by request in the sprinklers to cool off. Work our way to Kingston and Ralston for the first main thang.

    Partner up for Dora. 100 merkins, 200 monkey humpers, 300 american hammers. Pace car ran up Ralston to the well lit American flag.

    Short set of balance exercises where most of the PAX failed.

    Head back up Ralston, stopping near the top for more balance exercises. We will call this warrior 1.5. Once again most of the PAX failed and the man walking nearby likely chuckled.

    Right on University to the bottom. Partner up for 11s. Exercises were booya merkins and PLTs. After careful consideration, YHC decided to make this a traveling set of 11s, stopping at various places on the way back to the church to do our sets. Finish up in the parking lot with our last set then 2 minutes of Mary before Handshake called time.

    Oh yeah, we saw a Prius so of course we had to do 5 burpees.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    Wojo announcing his age made YHC reflect on the fact that it’s been over 9 years with this group and 10 birthday celebrations along the way. The majority of them have started with the camaraderie and fellowship of this random assortment of middle aged men. Today was no different. A Jets fan, someone who shuts down the bar, a radio announcer, a salesman, a financier who barely talks, a carolina fan, someone who always does what his partner says (never more true than today), and a hobbyist woodworker; all convening for no other reason than to make himself a better man. Happy to have the opportunity to lead today and for many years into the future.

    As TYA has once said. I bet you’ll quit before I quit.

    Splinter out.

  • Amateur Hour

    Three cycling professionals and 4 semi-pro runners gathered at RAMM today, hoping for just the right amound of rain but not too much. Cyclists were pleased, runners were not. After Offshore looked at Phonics and Phonics asked, “are we riding today? ok.”, a theme appropriate route was called and off we went.

    The Route

    • Gears crew did their thing, crossing paths with the runners a few times. We will call their route the “Flock of Gnats” route.
    • Runners, after some discussion of what was forwards and reverse, did the Reverse Carillon route.

    Numbers, names, no announcements before YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    There was a lot of discussion this week about amateur RAMM gears so YHC was expecting a large crowd today. When I arrived at 522 to see nary a soul (except TYA wandering around on his bike), I began to wonder if I had the wrong day? Apparently the weather scared away the amateurs, leaving only professional bikers.

    Since no one grabbed the RAMM Q, YHC sat for a minute or two thinking about an appropriate route to complement the (apparent lack of) RAMM Gears participants, I was reminded of a classic Marv incident that got Saab all riled up back in the day.

    You see… there was a period of time where RAMM Qs got lazy. Someone would just show up and call out a well known route and off we would go. Saab, in his peak of youthful running shape, would go out early for a pre-run and then show up back at the launch (when someone actually had the Q), expecting a well thought out route that would possibly bring in virgin ground. At least something unique. When someone didn’t think of something unique, Saab would express his disdain and off he would go with the rest of the PAX. If words could describe his facial expression when this would happen, it would be:

    Looks like I completely wasted my time coming back to meet up with these nincompoops.
    I should have just kept running by myself.

    Saab. circa 2021

    Which brings us back to the main part of the story. During an amateur RAMM gears outing a few years ago, Marv had signed up to Q RAMM proper. YHC texted him the night before and said, “ditch RAMM, find a bike, and let’s go ride.” So he did just that.

    Marv, sticking with his MO, shows up about 2 minutes prior to launch, hurriedly getting his bike prepped, before sticking his head into the circle of runners and shouting two words. “Reverse Carrilon”. Given the context above, you can imagine how excited some people were. Trust me, read Marv’s backblast from 2021 and you will see my memory is actually pretty sharp on this one.

    That that brings us to today. With very little time to plan a route and it being amateur RAMM gears day, YHC thought it would be a fitting tribute to call out reverse carillon. So that’s what we did. And it was kind of funny for a few seconds.

    I don’t know why I felt like calling out Saab so much in this backblast because he actually wasn’t even there today. He will also likely not read this backblast so it will fall on deaf ears. But as Paul Harvey used to say,

    And now you know the REST of the story…

    Good day!

    Splinter

  • Organic Convergence

    Fifteen gentlemen and scholars arrived at Mary today with no enticement needed other than seeing Splinter on the Q. After the northern peacock strutted his stuff to our visitor and then shielded himself with the wall named Swirly, off we went to the blacktop for today’s 45MoM fun.

    COP

    COP stands for Circle of Pain. It doesn’t stand for Circle of <insert other ‘p’ word here>. Therefore we did hard things.

    • 10x Hellicopters
    • 1x Burpee
    • 20x SSH
    • 2x Burpees
    • 10x Merkins
    • 3x Burpees
    • 10x Copperhead Squats
    • 4x Burpees
    • 10x Penguins, appropriately stored up from yesterday’s Oyster snubbing. Rosie was offered the opportunity to leave at this point but wisely decided to stay
    • 5x Burpees
    • 10x Don Quixote’s, Abe Vigoda style & approved by Saab with an 👌
    • 6x Burpees
    • 10x High Knees
    • 7x Burpees
    • 10x CDDs
    • 8x Burpees
    • 10x Side Lunges
    • 9x Burpees
    • 10x APDs
    • 10x Burpees
    • 1x Mountain Climbers

    The Thang

    Brief mosey over to the western edge of the field for our next exercise. 11s using trees as the markers. Someone astutely pointed out that one of our trees was gone so how would we do 11s? We figured it out. Run to the first tree then 10 merkins, back to the line for 1 jump squat. Continue along the trees, adding the far sidewalk as the 1/10 set. Various 10 counts offered by Last Call and 1-800. Kubota demonstrated his graduation from Wilson’s school of winning by offering himself a healthy head start after each set.

    Slow, sweaty saunter back to the edge of the school where we tripled up for a check. Air presses, pickle pounders, and karaoke to the fence and back were called. Classic 45MoM variation of this staple.

    Scurry back to the flag where we circled up (with YHC in the circle) for 4 minutes of mary which included 20x each of LBCs, Flutter Kicks, Freddie Mercuries, and American Hammers. Mumblechatter was so high during hammers that we lost count and called time. Kubota advised in advance he needed to leave right on time, which was allowed even though he left a minute early.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out. Celebrating new life and the strength and power of the human spirit.

    Announcements

    • Homegrown half early August
    • Convergence next Thursday @ Batteau
    • Slack is open 24/7 for jovial banter and mudslinging

    Moleskin

    Thanks to Rosie and Cal Worthington for the extra nudge to show up at 5 for a little bit of pre-work. No extra backblast here, just a few dudes sharing fellowship and getting stronger. Only took 30 seconds before a truck doused us with puddled rain water. There is nothing more refreshing on a 75 degree morning than being pummeled by street water that has been cooking on the hot pavement. Thanks for Cal for ducking so YHC could experience the full onslaught.

    The main event started with ample chatter. Last Call even showed up, likely expecting no hills, to which he was rewarded.

    History lesson, 45 Minutes of Mary was the 2nd workout created in F3RVA, and we had a founding member in our presence today. Great to see 15 strong show up for one of the OG workouts in RVA. Goes to show that even after almost 10 years, you can still introduce variety to a tried and true AO.

    No, no monkeys flew out of anyone’s buttholes, but there may have been a few desires to hurl today. We can only hope that the sight of TYA’s creamy white thighs didn’t make anyone feel kind of funny today, you know like when we used to climb the rope in gym class?

    Thanks for letting me lead today. Splinter out.

  • Trespassing is Fun

    Thirteen Spider Runlings, including one that took the Slack bait and popped his cherry, met in the well lit bowl for this week’s highly anticipated Spider Run. After the noob put away his broga mat, instructions were offered. Initial instructions included obeying the no trespassing signs but those were quickly disregarded, so off we went for the lawless route.

    The Route

    • Through the bat cave to River / Huguenot / Cary intersection
    • Go straight through the intersection, keeping the jewelry store on your right, across the wooden bridge, to virgin ground
    • Continue across the train tracks, take first right, then first right, then back left across the bridge and back to lawful territory
    • Left down Huguenot to Westham Station
    • Right on Panorama, turn around when it starts going up hill
    • Right on Westham Station
    • Right on Old Bridge, turn around when you get to the fork in the road
    • Right on Westham Station to the end where it turns right to South Ridge
    • Wave at the hill and turn around
    • Right on Old Bridge, across the metal bridge then continue to a left into second section of private property
    • Continue until you can’t go any further than return back to Westham Station
    • Back through the bat cave
    • 5s and 6s do a loop around the lake, we all figured out the correct distances

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Announcements

    • First Watch Deliverance workout tomorrow at 5am sharp at Huguenot Flatwater. 5am departure so get your boat in the water and ready to go before then. Ask a friend if you need a vessel.

    Moleskin

    I never knew we had such rebels in our crew (actually, it fits the M.O.). YHC drove the private routes last night and determined that some people may not appreciate crossing the clearly marked private property / no trespassing signs. I was wrong, so back to the pre-planned route. The virgin ground was beautiful.

    YHC was shocked to see Last Call today. Clearly the allure of the flattest spider run ever, or perhaps it was the virgin reference, got him out of the sack to try out Spider Run today. Welcome back any time.

    Ample mumblechatter this morning, culminating for me with Chippendale’s suggestion to try to catch the deer. YHC only had visions of boxing kangaroos and the negative outcomes that would prevail.

    Enjoy a blessed day everyone.

    Splinter out.

  • The Hills are Alive 3

    TYA & Swirly