Author: Upchuck

  • He Was Dry Heaving, So I Left Him

    5 men of various interests launched at various times for various destinations and distances in the latest edition of the Run At Mary Munford (RAMM). Temperatures were 70 and conditions sunny. According to the woman on Patterson with the rolling carry on bag (with a safety light) at 5:35 a.m., the following just may have happened:

    Route: TYA and YHC – Grove, Three Chopt, St. Chris, Patterson, Malvern, Grove.

    Saab: Maybe 10 miles.

    Offshore and Kebab…started at 5:30, so YHC doesn’t know their route. They may not even know their route. Who knows?

    Numbers,…change of topic…, numbers, names, and we shared a few good thoughts.

    Announcements: Snowbirdy or owl or race for 10 miles coming up.

    EF Hutton…boom. Each post is a new F3RVA record. 324 and climbing. Monster. Respect.

    NMS: Good chatter today. Take care of your older friends and relatives. Be patient. Be resilient. Think about what brings them joy. It’s not easy.

  • Christmas Eve at The Bridge

    Eleven men of purpose assembled just after The Gloom to conduct the latest version of The Bridge. With temperatures soaring to 70 and conditions sunny, 8 PAX started on-time and were joined shortly by 3 more. According to the three dogs running and jumping to stay warm, the following likely happened:

    COP

    Mixture of SSHs, Don Quixotes, Helicopters, LBC’s, WWII’s, and TYA’s version of a merkin (like a flip-side version of Vinny’s flutter kicks). Or, something like that.

    12 Days of Christmas

    Surely, you all know this starts with 1 burpee. Two WWIIs, 3 of something else, and so on and so forth until 12. YHC was asked to “pick” the exercise for 11, which YHC was then told was not appropriate for 11, so YHC “second picked” 11 heels to Heaven. 12 was SSHs. Honestly, not having YHC’s joints freeze was considered a win.

    Mosey to the Parking Area for a triple check. Or, at least YHC thinks this was next.

    Man 1: Dumpster and back

    Man 2: WWIIs

    Man 3: Monkey humpers

    Mosey to the Corner of the Circle (yes, this circle has corners):

    Partner up. Each man runs in the opposite direction of his partner. When they meet, do 10 partner boo-yah merkins. Second round was partner heels to Heaven (or whatever those are called). All YHC knows is TYA’s hands must have been cold so he was pounding on YHC’s shoes to warm up.

    The PAX did something like the above a couple of times, but YHC was so cold, the only thought was of how long until time.

    Circle of Trust included a few exercises. Wiggle toes and fingers and such.

    Time. 45 coldest minutes of F3 in quite some time.

    Names, numbers, and TYA took us out.

    Announcements:

    Bear Creek on March 12. See Lockjaw. 10 mile run in the woods. Limited ground cover, so fewer opportunities for full wipe-outs than in prior runnings.

    Gomer is cooking up something for May. Sounds like a one-man, three-part loop-de-loop. Think WWI aerial combat only in two dimensions instead of three and probably with some merkins.

    NMS: if you haven’t been to The Bridge, you are missing out. Who helps who more? Us or them? YHC feels like he grows every time he attends. Challenge yourself to attend this.

    Solid to see 8 of RVA Current and RVA’s Honorary Members’ Finest in attendance on a 5 degree day. Windchill had us at minus 8 or minus 9. Brr. Not BRR, but brrrrr.

    Great to spend a few minutes catching up in the balmy 25 degree building with Jay.

    Hardywood spread some Christmas cheer to the residents. Well done. Knocked their socks off, literally.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • No, Not Backwards

    Four men of accomplishments stood tall at 18:00 hours and answered the call for the latest version of The Punisher. Temperatures remained a steady 70 and sunny. According to the ghost of AP Hill, the following quite likely happened:

    Mosey to the northwest southwest field for the COP. Exercises included:

    Interpretive dance of UpChuck’s recent 50th birthday/20th anniversary trip to Oklahoma (“Why?”) and Hawaii.
    20 Imperial Walkers (4 count)
    50 SSHs (4 count)
    Don Quixotes 10, Abe Vigoda style
    Some light yoga to stretch the calves
    15 hand-release merkins
    10 WWIIs
    20 flutter kicks

    Mosey over here for a triple check, four-man style

    Man 1: Wheelbarrow walk
    Man 2: Partner wheelbarrow carrier (and back-up walker)
    Man 3: Frederick Mercury
    Man 4: Monkey Humpers

    Rotate through three times.

    Mosey over here for a Sidewalk Cycle:

    This is a one-man, three-exercise cycle. Each man acts as a one-person team. Do the first exercise in your cycle. Man 1 starts with Exercise 1. Man 2 starts with Exercise 2. Man 3…if I still have to tell you…Start in a rectangle on the sidewalk. When you are done with evolution 1, move south on the sidewalk to the next open rectangle and move to the next exercise. Continue to the corner.

    Exercises: Flutter Kicks (4 count x 10), WWIIs x 10, and Hello Dolly x 10 (four count).

    Mosey over to the front of the school, stopping for some light stretching along the way.

    There’s no name for this exercise.

    5 parts, cumulative with a run in between. Audible available to anyone…simply call the audible, and for that round, run only the 10 meter concrete loop, but add 10 boo-yah merkins.

    First round: 10 merkins (Fireman Ed suggested we start with exercises, then run), and run the loop.

    Second round: 10 merkins and 20 flutter kicks, and run the loop.

    Third round: 10 merkins, 20 flutter kicks, 30 incline lunges, and run the loop.

    Fourth round: YHC called the audible. 10 boo-yah merkins, 10 regular merkins, 20 flutter kicks, 30 incline lunges, and 40 consecutive, one-second wall sits.

    Fifth round: 10 merkins, 20 flutter kicks, 30 incline lunges, 40 consecutive, one-second wall sits, 50 side-straddle hops, and run the loop.

    Run BTTVSF, numbers, names, and the PAX took us out with a series of simple, thankful statements.

    Announcements:

    Gomer wants to ruck around the track, run around the neighborhood, and have a workout. For some of us, this is also called a weekend. Sometime in May.

    My mother is coming tomorrow for the winter.

    NMS:

    My mother is coming tomorrow for the weekend. Peace be upon us. And, be grateful for the time we have with our older relatives.

    Tomorrow is the anniversary of YHC’s mother-in-law’s passing. If you ever needed a completely biased, total homer in your corner to support you through your worst moments, she was the human equivalent of Old Faithful, a person who would stand by you no matter how dumb you had been. What a treasure. We should all be so fortunate to have a person like that standing behind us.

    YHC is also incredibly thankful for the gift of an amazing week with his kids and M. Oklahoma City for the Cowboy Christmas Ball (50th state before turning 50 years old) and then Hawaii for some R&R and to celebrate 20 years of marriage. What a gift.

    Hutton is hitting some milestones this week. Well done, my friend.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Breaking Bread Transition

    Breaking Bread Transition

    To the Men and Families of F3RVA,

    The time has come. For about 5 years (give or take), YHC has led the PAX effort with The Southside Health Center, an AO also known as “Breaking Bread.” It’s a simple place with a big heart. Through your generosity, F3RVA has provided a delicious, homemade dinner to the guests, each of whom is recovering from a medical illness, injury, or other issue. Most of us do this activity alone or with our families, albeit knowing The Pax is behind us. For those prone to entirely unnecessary and grammatically inappropriate capitalization, you all have made an Impact. In the word of YHC’s friend Swirly, “Boom!”

    Thank you to each of you for making this happen. YHC would like to thank HoneyDo for bringing YHC into F3RVA and later inviting YHC to his first Breaking Bread event. “We” made tacos, meaning HoneyDo made taco beef, hot cheese, onions, tomatoes, hard and soft shelled tacos, and who knows what else. YHC made a simple salad, which, if YHC recalls correctly, was not (ahem) popular with the residents. “Salad is not popular with this crowd. They are not rabbits,” Ron Swanson HoneyDo reminded me. It’s possible YHC brought drinks, but that’s missing the point. HoneyDo encouraged YHC, taught YHC the basics, and demonstrated first-hand to YHC how easy it is to make an Impact. A good time was had, people were fed, and all left with full hearts. 

    Fast forward a year or so, and F3RVA had a need for someone to put a little bit of time into recruiting Brothers and their families to share their time, money, and generosity with those who need a helping hand. Remember, there is no site Q for Breaking Bread, no titles, no funding, no structured management, and no rule book. It’s 100% you all volunteering, cooking, and leading. Your energy and generosity are the entire ballgame. YHC is proud of each of you who have stepped up. YHC thanks each you.

    YHC also wants to thank Rosie. At the beginning of the pandemic, YHC was wondering how F3RVA would continue to fill one Sunday night a month, which at times had been a challenge. Rosie said, “Why don’t we do 2 nights a month? The Goodman’s will take the extra 12 nights if other guys don’t step up.” Boom. Expansion. And, many of you all stepped up. In the past 3 years, we have never had a challenge filling 24 slots per year, including Christmas Eve, Christmas, Thanksgiving weekend, and Memorial Day weekend. A number of you have been regulars, and YHC appreciates your dedication.

    On a personal note, many of you know that my dad grew up very poor and at times without enough food. Feeding people is very personal to YHC. You all have made an Impact which I suspect few of us who have plenty are able to understand.

    And, with that, 5 years has gone by quickly. It’s time to turn over the reigns to new leadership. YHC’s friend, Oyster, asked last summer to take on a role helping with Breaking Bread. Oyster is ready to lead. Starting January 1, 2023, Oyster will be The Man running Breaking Bread. Splinter has opened the sign-ups, which are on the 2023 Q sheet (far right hand side, 4th Saturday and 4th Sunday of each month). YHC will still be around, making dinners for BB with his 2.0s and M, and, for sure, prodding folks from time to time to help out. YHC appreciates your support, generosity, and efforts (and those of your families) over the past 5 years. And, going forward, YHC continues to thank each man in advance for your contributions.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Magnum PI Day at The Clinic

    One young man sallied girth forth into The Gloom to celebrate Magnum PI in true Hawaiian style: Big Island, Big Weather, Big Rig time. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the delivery truck driver coming in hot, the following quite possibly happened.

    Opening Run…hotel entrance to Queen Ka’ahumanu Hwy (about a mile).

    Reverso about .6 mile.

    COP

    50 four-count SSHs

    25 LBCs

    10 HRMs

    10 Don Quixotes

    50 flutter kicks

    Light Cycle…using the 20 or so lights on the sidewalk path, do exercises at each light.

    Merkins

    Monkey Humpers

    LBCs

    Hand release merkins

    squats

    WWIIs

    Flutters

    Heels to Heaven

    Burpees

    Rotate according to the Qs discretion or ability to remember the order.

    Reverso on the run BTTVSF.

    Number, name, YHC took himself out.

    Announcements:

    HoneyDo turns 45 tomorrow. Show up at Heartbreak and take the pain. Never easy. Push your comfort zone.

    The Bridge on Saturday. You don’t have plans on Christmas Eve morning. No one thinks you have plans. You don’t even think you have plans. So, do a great thing for others, and visit the imprisoned. Push your comfort zone.

    NMS:

    YHC turned 50 yesterday with all of the accompanying consumption one might enjoy (YHC didn’t notice the slow service , squabbling teenagers, or the heavy rain). Just enjoyed the evening. But, no rest for the weary, and no time like the present. So, up at 4:00 local time and this horse entered the paddock by 4:25 to start getting back on the horse.
    YHCs M was already up and scouting the weather kind enough to insist on offer a headlamp. YHC got just outside the hotel, realized he was well away from any light pollution, and declared “amateur hour” on the headlamp quality. This place is so dark it makes BRR look like Manhattan. (YHC has now decided to buy the M a headlamp for Christmas.)

    Based on the incredible storms last night and this morning, YHC assumed Mr. Rogers had the Q, then found himself alone at game time. C’est la guerre. Luckily, a brief weather interlude arrived. Thankfully, the wind stayed, leaving YHC comfortably cooled by the breeze and free to expel last night’s toxins while enjoying the dawning of a new half century.

    Mission accomplished.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • We Never Found the Blocks

    7 magnificent fellows rolled into F3RVA’s earliest AO to start the day with gusto. Temperatures remained 70 and conditions sunny. According to the bicyclist pumping through the parking lot, the following quite likely happened:

    4:59 “You guys ready?”

    5:00 “Let’s mosey.”

    COP

    SSHs, dead man hang, hillbillies, LBCs, hello dolly, Suzanne Summers (both ways), hand release merkins.

    Mosey to the handicapped parking…and then to the main parking lot for…

    …a Dora 100-200-300.

    100 hand release merkins

    200 reverse crunches

    300 side-straddle hops

    Hook: in between each set, do 5 boo-yah merkins with your partner. Total somewhere around 200 merkins of all types.

    Take a couple of moments to do a little bro-ga. Left leg high, right leg high, pigeon pose right and left.

    Mosey to the county’s smallest park for a triple check. Run to River Road and back, WWIIs, and squats.

    Mosey back to the VSF for one minute of stretching.

    Numbers, names, and Lockjaw took us out.

    NMS: lots of mumblechatter today. Welcome back to The Whittler, our Kotter for today. Good to have you back out there. Coffeeteria after the workout was excellent, as usual.

    Announcements: See Slack.
    This month: do some merkins. Push yourself, don’t hurt yourself. For Heaven’s sake, the contest is with New Jersey.

    This week: Learn some lies about Thanksgiving from TYA tomorrow at 6 at 45MOM – Thanksgiving Edition, and run / bike in circles on Friday at 7 at Forest Hill Park.

    Next week: wrap up your Christmas Stache for charity on the 3rd at Dogpile.

    Month after Next Month: Run a triangle with your pals (November = loops, January = Triangle). If you have not done an F3 CSAUP (or if you have to ask what a CSAUP is), then come out and join F3RVA on January 21 in the tradition of visiting 3 AO’s in one morning by way of your own hard work.

    Be on the lookout for a recruiting effort. And, thank you to those helping with Breaking Bread this weekend.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • The Rain in Spain Falls Mainly on The Clinic

    One hit the roads for the sloppiest, wettest run in some time. That said, conditions remained 70 and sunny. According to the fish swimming in the street, the following might have happened:

    Today was a day for turkey trotting. YHC woke up early and by accident. Launch time moved to 4:00 a.m. Normal route to Broward on the way out. Run included substantially flooded roads, especially the mall parking lot (3-4 inches!). YHC detoured on the way back to add a loop around the office park and another loop around the lake. Somewhere north of 6, or enough for this turkey to declare a trot was had.

    Number, name, and YHC said thanks.

    NMS: One benefit to running in Florida is warmth. 75-80 and rainy, or in other words, magnificent conditions. Not too hot, not too cold. When returning to the hotel, the desk clerk asked,”Is it raining?”

    “Uh, yeah.” (Shoes squeaking, shoes squeaking…and water dripping from clothes).

  • Eyes Front, Fellows.

    6 chose to chill out for the latest edition of Sunday Funday. Conditions remained constant at 70 and sunny. According to the Kotter who was freezing in the parking lot, the following might have happened:

    Route: Nickel Bridge to Buttermilk to Forest Hill, unless you are Chippendale and are too fast to hear the audible, in which case it’s unclear what he ran, or Saab, who ran 10 miles on roads, in which case YHC knows he ran elsewhere.

    Numbers, names, and YHC took us out before Chippendale froze in place.

    Announcements:

    Loops on Friday. This event is awesome. Day after Thanksgiving. Starts at 7:00 a.m. Run a loop, bike a loop. On the roads or on the trails. Mileage may vary based on mode of transportation and media traveled. But, participants will start a new loop every hour and must complete a loop every hour. Hang with F3 brothers, friends, and family before, during, and after. Last person to complete a loop subject to the above rules is the winner.

    Handicapping:

    1 loop – you will not win

    2 loops – you will not win

    3 loops – same

    4 loops – Meh.

    5 loops – YHC supposes this is possible.

    6 loops – Maybe, if it’s raining.

    7 loops – You are getting warmer.

    8 loops – YHC is putting his money here, subject to the moral hazard of TYA trying to win with 7 or 9 just to ruin YHC’s wager. He’s a crafty fellow. However, rumors have some other contenders coming from points west on 360.

    9 loops – YHC believes this is over-doing it, but still possible.

    10 loops – Someone else has to want to do 9 in order for someone to win with 10, and YHC doesn’t see it.

    11 loops – Ask yourself: who brought a headlamp?

    12 loops – Nah.

    Whatever happens, you will make friends on this day.

    NMS:

    Great to have Chippendale back on the trails today. It’s been a minute. He’s a fast fellow.

    Nice to run Forest Hill. YHC was chugging today. Good to chat with Offshore most of the way.

  • Back and Forth

    One pax joined on the shores of the Pacific Ocean for his favorite version of The Clinic each year. Temperatures in the air were 70 and sunny. Ocean water slightly warmer at 63 (actual air temp 48). According to the county workers emptying trash cans on the beach, the following may have happened:

    Slightly earlier start than usual. 4:45 a.m. due to Pacific time and restlessness. Run from hotel down walkways to drop off circle.

    COP:

    SSHs, dead man hang, yoga stretching, Imperial walkers, 20 merkins, and a handful of LBCs.

    Mosey to the rock pile / jetty. 20 decline merkins, 20 dips.

    40 yard cycle. Run about 40 yards on the beach. Stop. Perform about 20 of an exercise.

    Merkins, flutter kicks, LBCs, hello dolly, squats. Do this for about 1.0 mile.

    Attempt to jump over very small creek that empties into Pacific Ocean.

    Continue with above cycle for .5 miles.

    Turn around at the rocks. 1.5 miles back, finishing at the original rock pile / jetty.

    Run back to the cliff base, then up the path (aka Charmian) to the top. VSF at the outdoor fire pit.

    Number, Name, and a quick one-man COT.

    NMS: YHC has been traveling a ton and had hoped to exercise last week in the mountains of Colorado. A late night altitude headache scotched that plan, so it was refreshing to be back at sea level for a couple of days. Few places more beautiful than the Pacific Ocean shore in The Gloom. Looking forward to returning in the spring.

  • C₄H₈Cl₂S

    Eight was great for the latest version of Sunday Funday. Conditions were 70 and sunny. According to the spiders with webs hanging approximately 5 feet 8 inches above the ground, the following might have happened:

    Route:

    Buttermilk, T-Pottersfield Bridge, North Bank. 6.5 miles.

    Numbers, names, and YHC has no idea (different guy) who took us out as YHC fled to walk his own pooch.

    NMS:

    Solid morning for a run, especially after the darkness burned off. Ripcord set the pace early. With his 5 foot 6 inch torso cutting down the spider webs, YHC experienced only a few higher webs on the early run. Through the twists and turns of the lariat and a stop for water, YHC found himself at the back of the pack when a true F3 gentleman destroyed the trail. Surprisingly, YHC was left behind gasping for clear air and had to stop again to rinse his whole body and clear his lungs of said mustard gas. YHC adapted, overcame.

    Announcements:

    Breaking Bread needs a Q for the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend. November 26. Please sign up! This is our F3RVA collective volunteer activity. Make it a family event, and help out some folks in need.