Author: Upchuck

  • How To Not Look Like a Security Guard

    One launched for a few weighted loops around the lake. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the residents wondering who the guy in black shoes, black shorts, a black shirt, and a giganormous black flak jacket was, the following might have happened.

    Loop Lake Florida 3 times. Rough distance 2 miles. 40 pound ruck. 2 cups of coffee.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS: YHC has been traveling a ton. And, with traveling / working comes…a smidge more “drink” than is probably either healthy or desirable. No running after a night out…so, thus begins the upside / downside of having a ruck. It makes exercising easier, but it makes drinking easier. Gonna have to figure this one out.

    All that said, rucking has one huge advantage…can carry coffee with me while working out.

    Announcements:

    The Bridge is December 27. Kubota with the Q.

    Need a Q for January.

  • Free For All at Sunday Funday

    None of us really knows how many guys showed up to do the “come as you are when you are ready” event that is Sunday Funday. According to local legend passed among the campers in the park, 2 started at 6:15, 4 started at 7, one or two started at 9, and someone went biking. For all involved, temperatures remained constant at 70 and sunny.

    The 7 a.m. launch included a near millionaire, and near billionaire, a guy with a fever, a guy with 50 direct reports, and 150 bikers. Route: Bridge, dog poop, Buttermilk, Belle Isle (top loop), North Bank (note the Oxford comma), and BTT (watch out for the super fast mountain bikers!!) VSF.

    7-ish miles.

    NMS: Tons discussed…Kristi Noem’s sweet heart, no-bid $150MM contract to friends, worshiping dead racists, waterfront preservation work, stains magically appearing on a very specific part of your shorts, Jamaicans being detained by ICE at 2:30 a.m. in the hospital (ok, that one involved an old lady tripping on morphine). But, never a dull moment.

    Race results: Confusion reigned on the podium. UpChuck DQ’d for taking the hiker route, but managed to slide past Shakes / Offshore on the home stretch courtesy of a well-timed rendezvous with a friend of Shakes’ (note the apostrophe) on the trails. Somehow, slowest guy crossed the finish line first. Definitely not pretty…we’ll call it a draw.

    Announcements:

    Kubota has the Q at First Watch, the AO with the best mumblechatter in all of F3-dom on Wednesday. That kicks off Seazn of Giving. Then, K-man has the Q for The Bridge on December 27. Clown cars forming now.

    Couple of races coming up…Snowy Owl in early January, and Bel Monte in March. LG!

  • YHC and a Bunch of Rabbits

    One nocturnal man and uncounted rabbits launched at the stroke of 04:00 in the latest edition of The Clinic. Conditions were 70 and sunny with dense fog and intense blackness. According to the rabbits silflaying, the following may quite possibly have happened.

    Mosey to the edge of the golf course for the COP.

    SSHs x30 (4 count, unless otherwise noted)
    Imperial Walkers x20
    LBCs x20
    Flutter kicks x20

    Mosey about 200 yards, pass the Dana Point Vietnam Veterans Memorial, and perform 20 HRMs.

    Continue moseying another 200 yards, stopping for a variety of squats, LBCs, WWIIs, merkins, and so forth, generally following the fall-line of the trails towards the beach. Ignore the darkness. Embrace the isolation.

    At the top of the bluff, continue right / downward to the beach path, then down the steps to the sand, forward 50 yards to the water line. Turn 80 degrees right / north, until intersection of water / sand, then proceed 6-10 feet west of intersection of sand / water (i.e., run in the water).

    Note: Water temp 66 degrees.

    Proceed to intersection of rocks / water / cliff. Find appropriate sized rock. 20 merkins. Find different appropriately sized rock. 20 boat / canoe. Do so without ingesting water / sand.

    Proceed south on beach, repeating 6-10 feet from water’s edge, always on the water side. Approximately 1 mile run. Glorious.

    Repeat rock exercises at south end of beach.

    Proceed north / east to beach road and follow road uphill. Grade as much as 14%. Unforgiving. Lower speed, force continued run. Do not walk.

    At top of hill, repeat exercises.

    Continue east / northeast through city park and back to golf course, repeating exercises 3-4 additional times. 3 MOM at edge of golf course.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS: YHC finds this workout to be the pinnacle of experiences, approximately 2x per year. Few things like exercising along the beach anywhere in the world. With the time change and the jet lag, YHC did this a bit earlier than normal. Good for the soul.

    Announcements: EF Hutton leading The Bridge this weekend. No finer person to help our fellow men. Sign up, join up, and experience all 3 Fs in one morning.

  • Rucking, Vol. 2

    One man launched from the previously mentioned rucking ground. Temperatures were, again, a seasonal 70 and sunny. According to the young man enjoying some sweet weed at 5:15 a.m. (not me) on the hotel’s back patio, the following might have happened.

    60 minutes under 38 pounds.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS: always fun to see people’s faces when they mistake a weighted vest for a police vest. This young man took about 3 seconds of “about to poop his pants” before YHC said,”Good morning” and continued walking past. YHC thinks weed might not even be illegal in Florida anymore…who knows?

  • Rucking, Vol. 1

    One man stepped onto the rucking ground. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the game warden patrolling with her hound, the following might have happened.

    55 minutes under 38 pounds. Cup of coffee in hand, podcast on tap.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

  • You Do the Math

    Nine men of great intellect threw off the lure of the Fart Sack, some while on the drive over, in the latest edition of The Dogpile. Conditions were 70 and sunny. According to the dog walker suggesting we tone it down, the following might have happened:

    Mosey towards the traffic circle, but stop at the intersection. SSHs, Dead Man Hang, downward dog, right leg, left leg, downward dog, pigeon left, pigeon right.

    Mosey to the wooden barriers. Heels to Heaven x20.

    Mosey to the grassy area on the corner of Park and Park. Circle up. Flutter kicks, little baby crunches, etc. Inverted scorpion kicks.

    Mosey to burpee alley. CYOA. 3 merkins OR 1 burpee at each light post.

    Circle up at the park on Park that’s not really a park. Touch a tree. Groups of three. 3 rounds. Touch a normal tree = 1. Touch a tree on the other side of the street = 2. Touch a full sized tractor = 3. Add up to 5 for each round, then swap. Two men run separately, one guy does an exercise. Swap after each runner returns, regardless of how many or how few exercises done. Griping about counting begins.

    Mosey to the park that is a park. Triple check, but only 2 rounds. At the picnic tables, one guy does step ups. One guy does CYOA merkins. One guy runs to the light post. Minor griping about counting.

    Staying on that same street, 2 burpees for trees on the left, 5 WWIIs (I think) on the right. Every time your total count gets to 15, go back one tree. Griping about counting continues.

    Take a right at the corner. Tree on left is 10 monkey humpers. Tree on right is 5 squats. Man-made posts are 5 burpees. At the next “corner,” watch for high-speed traffic exiting the highway…

    Mosey up to the school for a “curb crawl,” which is F3-speak for a bear crawl between curbs. Curb crawl one way, then do 3 derkins on the benches, and then run back to the starting curb. 3 rounds.

    Mosey to the baseball fields, turn right, then mosey back to the park that is not a park.

    Circle up. 2 rounds of touch a tree. Same counts, but total must be 7.

    Mosey to Burpee Alley. 1 burpee or 3 merkins as we roll it back.

    Mosey to the wooden barriers. Pole smokers x20.

    Mosey to the intersection. SSHs x20, then traveling SSHs AMRAP. At failure, 5 burpees. AYG BTTVSF.

    Numbers, names, and YHC took us out with a reminder that F3 is open to all men, not just white Christian men.

    Announcements:

    F3 RVA has three 3rd F activities (i.e., things that are not about you, but about being a part of something bigger than you). Two of those activities happen this month.

    1. Breaking Bread this month…Mr. Rogers has October 25, looking for a Q for October 26. See Oyster for details or sign up on the Q Sheet.
    2. The Bridge on October 25. Bootleg with the Q.

    Let’s get out there and help make our 3rd F activities happen.

    NMS:

    YHC scheduled a Mystery Q today. Mystery meaning…not much of a plan. But, with a group of studs assembling at 5:55 wondering who the Q was, YHC figured he had better not disappoint. So, off campus we went. Nice work from all those who posted.

    A few weeks ago, a number of us met with our local area Nantan, Gomer Pyle. One of our reminders was that F3 is not a Christian organization, but one that is open to all men. As our national Nantan said (and I’m paraphrasing) when asked whether a trans-male could join, “We took you, didn’t we? Otherwise, if you want check, go ahead. But, the person is open to doing burpees, he’s in.”

    Our biggest opportunity is to welcome all men. Bodo’s noted this week that suicides, depression, and loneliness are at epic levels in our country, especially among men. We have had incredible success recruiting lately, especially in the west end. Let’s keep it going!

  • What a Day

    Plugging in a missing BB.

  • Senor Frog’s Wife

    12 young men rolled out of the Fartsack, sharpened their pencils, and achieved perfect attendance at the latest edition of The Hoedown. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the airplane, or the satellite, floating above, the following might have happened:

    Mosey to the edge of the horseshoe and the concrete for the COP.

    SSHs x100
    Dead man hang
    Fudd’s Wife, right, left
    Pigeon right, left
    Wilson’s wife
    Senor Frog’s wife
    Hand release merkins
    6 inches
    LBCs x38
    Flutter kicks x30
    WWIIs, in cadence

    Mosey to the parking lot arrows. Or, walk around the block. It’s You vs. You.

    Round 1: 3 merkins, bear crawl between spaces

    Round 2: 3 squats, duck walk or lunge between spaces

    Round 3: 3 reverse crunches, pencil roll between spaces (Note: The Handshake claims this as the longest semi-contiguous pencil roll in history. So, we got that goin’ for us.)

    Mosey to the Teachers’ Parking Lot for parking spaces. 3 merkins, 3 deep squats, 3 SSHs

    Flutter kicks for the 6

    Mosey to the bottom of the little steps. Bear crawl up the 4 long steps…then, 4 options:

    1. Up the ramp
    2. Up the remaining 4 steps
    3. Down the ramp
    4. Down the steps
      When going “up,” bear crawl. When going “down,” run. Repeat until all 4 options have been completed.

    Mosey to the wall. People’s chair for the 6.

    25 donkey kicks to finish it off.

    Mosey BTTVSF for the COT.

    Numbers, names, and YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    The Bridge is scheduled for October 25. Bootleg has the Q. Clown cars forming now. 6 ish departure, workout is 7:30 to 8:15, Coffeeteria, breakfast, and good times. No better way to hit all 3 Fs in one morning.

    NMS:

    Props to the Commanders, Cavaliers, and Tribe on their wins this weekend.

    Handshake and 1-800 are recovering from some knee issues.

    Vandelay is looking for a manliness verification tool.

  • If You Can’t Do It, Don’t Q It (Just Write the Backblast)

    5 guys split into 3 and 2 for a Sunday Funday loop fest. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the lady showing her hip high hornet stings (true story), the following might have happened.

    3 ran a loop. YHC didn’t Q this, and he has no idea what happened.

    2 rucked a different loop. YHC didn’t Q this either, but is sure it happened. North through the park to Floyd, then right, then on Arthur Ashe Blvd. Then, we looped the lakes, and BTTVSF.

    Numbers, names, and off to coffeeteria for an hour-long circle of trust.

    Announcements: None

    NMS: Hornets are out on the trails, apparently. This includes last weekend, apparently. It’s not every Sunday that a fellow runner lifts up her shorts to show off hornet stings on the top of her hips. But, my friends, it happened. F3 can be prone to some crazy hyperbole, but this brings weird to a new level of odd. Oh, and, in case once wasn’t enough, she did it again.

  • TackleBerry Tried to Kill Us Using a Zamperini

    5 took to Red Pill. Temps were 70 and sunny. According to the Karen in the black Ford pick-up, the following might have happened:

    Some nutty circle of pain in which F3 trivia was hurled at the Pax. Wrong answers merited burpees. One star. Not recommended.

    SSH, IWs, Toy (Ukrainian) soldiers, Hip Circles (new to YHC), and Hillbillies (which weren’t our hillbillies, but YHC digresses).

    Pick up your coupon. YHC exchanged his 38 pound ruck-sack for a 32 pound Cindy. YHC’s pal Starbuck’s carried that ruck for almost all of the next 45 minutes, perhaps 40 minutes in total. YHC managed the Cindy for almost as long. Que joder. Monster workout.

    Somewhere in there, we each picked exercises. YHC picked duck walk while doing presses with the Cindy over our heads. In retrospect, that was easy. YHC duck walks very, very fast. But, lunges – terrible. Squats – terrible. The other crazy nonsense that was created – terrible. Apparently, this business of walking with a Cindy above the cranium is all called a Zamperini.

    Numbers, names, TackleBerry took us out.

    Zamperini’s…Coming soon to an AO near you.

    20 questions about religion at coffee. YHC asked basically zero of the questions. True story (no one will believe that, but it’s true). These fellas love themselves some Bible talk.