Author: Upchuck

  • I Found My True Love On-line

    Nine men shook off the lure of the Fartsack and one FNG just never went to bed at all (heck yeah!) in order to celebrate one-year anniversary of F3RVA’s earliest sharefest, First Watch. To the surprise of no one, temps were sunny and 70. With a Hot Potato Q on order, the PAX launched for:

    Kubota-Q: Mosey to the front of the Church for the COP:

    Don Quixote’s
    Side-Straddle Hops
    Helicopters (??)
    Little Baby Crunches
    Hand-release Mercans
    Scorpion Kicks
    Reverse Scorpion Kicks

    Mosey to the Triangle for a Triple-Check:

    First Man: Run the triangle
    Second Man: World War II sit-ups
    Third Man: Lt. Dan’s

    Toss to HoneyDo and Mosey to the Parking Lot:

    Partner up and grab a block (to share).
    Timer: run to end of parking lot
    Second Man: Perform an exercise until the runner returns.
    Round 1: Swings
    Round 2: Overhead press
    Round 3: Squats
    Round 4: World War II + Press

    Toss to Splinter and Mosey to the Other Side of the Parking Lot for:

    Evil.

    AKA, Elevens.
    Bear Crawl across parking lot.
    10 Burpees.
    Crawl Bear back.
    1 Jump-Squat (which should really be called a Squat-Jump, but no matter.)
    Repeato 9-2, 8-3, 7-4, 6-5, 5-6, 4-7, etc.

    Toss to UpChuck for 5 Minutes of Mary.

    Flutter kicks (x20 4-count), hold 6 inches (normal and spread eagle), Hello Dolly (x10), hold 6 inches, reverse crunches (4 count x47), hold 6 inches.

    Number-a-ma, Name-a-ram-a, EF Hutton took us out.

    Announcements:

    Let’s keep Offshore’s family in mind. MIL passed away.

    Big day at the HoneyDo house. The PAX is behind you all – good luck, Erin!

    NMS:

    YHC arrived at 4:50 a.m. Already present were Hutton, Kubota, and a man who introduced himself as “Josh.” YHC has decided Josh is a Stud. Josh is 32, has 2 kids (including a 2 month old), and is friends with MARV and POG. YHC calls him a stud because Josh didn’t sleep last night – was up with his 2 month old daughter. Still posted to his first workout – alone. That sounds like our kind of guy. Josh found F3RVA through Google – we think he found his true love online. Welcome, eHarmony.

    He also won the Oversharer of the Week Award.

  • Breaking Bread: We Need You – Now TWO Nights Per Month

    Breaking Bread: We Need You – Now TWO Nights Per Month

    We talk about being HIMs. High. Impact. Men. This message is about asking for your help to make a real-life Impact – both in time and effort – on behalf of a group of people who F3RVA has sponsored for the last 4+ years.

    For those not familiar, F3RVA helps by feeding residents in the Medical Respite facility at the Southside Health Center. This is on the Q sign-up sheet as, “Breaking Bread.” 

    The PAX (sometimes multiple PAX and/or with their family/kids) sign up to bring dinner to 10-15 people recovering from injuries or illnesses at the Medical Respite Clinic on Belt Blvd. This is a place for those who have no other place to recover.

    Most of us will never need Medical Respite. For that matter, most of us will never have a reason to drive on Belt Blvd. Due to COVID, other groups have stopped providing meals. That is F3RVA’s reason to step-up. We are going to take TWO nights per month instead of one (fourth Saturday and fourth Sunday). That means your F3RVA brothers are asking you to step-up. Some PAX have already volunteered to take on the extra load (t-claps; you know who you are). YHC asks that you do the same. Look for the sign-up slots on the Q Sheet. Look for reminders from YHC, who thanks you in advance. And, for those of you who have a Q during the week, please make an Announcement that we need PAX to commit themselves to making an Impact. Sign up.

    For those who believe that making a group dinner sounds hard, it is not. 

    1. You choose the menu. 
    2. You make dinner for 10-15 humans. 
    3. You deliver it at 5:30 p.m. (even the time is perfect for F3). Note: due to COVID, we simply deliver the food – we are not allowed inside the building to serve. 
    4. The residents will open the door to take the food.
    5. The residents will thank you profusely. 
    6. You are done. 

    Boom. It’s far easier than a Spit Q, the IPC, a CSAUP, or any exercise that references murdering (or murderous) varmints. 

    These people need F3RVA’s help (meaning YOUR help). As YHC has said many times, if you want to impress your M with a monologue about an F3 event, your best option is to make and deliver dinner for Breaking Bread. Tell her about that. Unlike an incessant description of the length of Twin Team hill, how to count the number of reps times steps in the Amphitheater, or anything involving a “coupon,” this activity will impress her. Involving your kids will impress her more.

    Sign up on the Q sheet. Reach out to me with questions. Make an Impact.

  • It Smells Like Worms

    Indeed, Bodo’s “smelled the worms” when 7 prime suspects partnered in the Gloom for today’s edition of The Hoedown. Temperatures were, once again, sunny and 70 at F3RVA’s darkest AO.

    Short Mosey to the 3rd Church Parking Lot:

    SSHs x 20
    Dead Man’s Hang
    Scorpion Kicks (feel the wetness)
    Reverse Scorpion Kicks (feel more of the wetness)
    Hillbillies x10
    WWIIs x10
    HRMs x10

    Mosey to the corner of Lindsey and Forest for a duopoly of crawling.
    Partner up in 2s and 3s.
    Round 1: 3 rounds of bear crawl to the TES sign. Partner does reverse crunches.
    Round 2: 3 rounds of Army crawl. Flutter kicks.

    Mosey to the big tree for Touch-a-Tree.

    Touch each of the 5 trees. Do 7 merkins at each in-line tree and 7 burpees at the one off-set tree. Crawl between trees. Dealer’s Choice on the type of crawl. PAX varied the type of crawl between trees. YHC did bear crawl, polar bear crawl, crab walk, and Army crawl.

    Mosey to the Teacher’s Parking Lot for parking space repeats:

    Round 1: 3 merkins, 3 Carolina Dry Docks, 3 SSHs.
    Round 2: 5 WWIIs, 5 LBCs, 5 Hello Dollys

    Mosey out of the way of the Teacher and to the Brick Wall. Start doing Chicken Peckers, then stop, then start again. YHC apologizes.

    Mosey to the horseshoe for a Ring of Fire and Mary.

    ROF: Dealer’s Choice; no repeats. PAX chose: Regular, diamond, Peter Parker, Hitchhiker, YHC didn’t see whatever GP did, Chuck Norris, and HRMs.

    Mary: American Hammers, Rosalita’s, Box Cutters

    Announcements:

    Beer Mile to celebrate the life of Captain Shawn G. Hogan, USA Green Beret. This is now on Saturday, despite having been, according to Handshake, on a Friday for the first 7 or so years. Handshake is fine with this. Really. Bring 4 beers (if you don’t drink alcohol, bring O’Doul’s). Drink one beer. Run a quarter mile. Repeat this 4 times. Vomit OYO AYG.
    Shawn Hogan was a college friend of Faceplant and Handshake and a generally super-capable and accomplished guy. He died far too young in a training accident while serving our country. Side note: Faceplant has nearly killed several PAX, including YHC, doing “The Hogan,” a ridiculous workout that Shawn apparently considered a warm-up. Come out and celebrate someone who would have been an awesome PAX member.

    CSAUP October 23 weekend. Build a team. Run/bike/hike/walk/crawl to Williamsburg. Reverso. Done. The is an OYO event, so your team will plan for your team.

    For the last 4+ years, F3RVA has had one charitable activity that it semi-sponsors. If you are relatively new to F3RVA, this is on the Q sheet as,”Breaking Bread.” Fourth Sunday of every month. PAX (sometimes with a friend and surely with their family/kids) sign up to bring dinner to 10-15 people recovering from injuries or illnesses at the Medical Respite on Belt Blvd. This facility helps humans who have no other place to recover.

    Most of us will never need Medical Respite. For that matter, most of us do not have a reason to drive on Belt Blvd. Due to COVID, other groups have pulled out of helping provide meals. That is F3RVA’s reason to step-up going forward. We are going to take two nights per month instead of one (fourth Saturday and fourth Sunday). That means F3RVA is asking you to step-up. Some PAX have already volunteered to take on the extra load. YHC asks that you do the same. Look for the sign-up on the Q Sheet, and look for reminders from YHC, who thanks you in advance.

    If group dinner sounds hard, it is not. You make dinner for 10-15 humans. You deliver it. They thank you profusely. You are done. Boom. It’s far easier than a Spit Q, the IPC, a CSAUP, or any exercise that references executions or varmints. And, these people need your help. Also, if you want to impress your M with a monologue about an F3 event, do this one. Unlike an incessant description of the length of Twin Team hill, the number of steps in the Amphitheater, or anything involving a “coupon,” this activity will actually impress her. And, kids dig a dad who helps people.

    NMS:

    Hitchhiker – these are hillbillies.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CC-13JtWu1w
    The guy at 1:35 with the pocket protector is my favorite.

    This is Jin Suk Lim. Not the same guy as the one I know, but still a Suk.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lim_Jin-suk

  • “Yo. Were You Serious, or Just Picking on Me?”

    20 riders and runners spun their way up-and-back on Grove for the First Annual, First Inaugural, First Ever, un-proctored, not-yet-certified, wind-assisted (so unofficial) Yo-Yo Run. Weather was sunny and 70. The clock struck 05:30 and the PAX were on their way.

    Route:

    From MM, run west on Grove to Lexington-Albemarle. Take a left (toward Cary) and run the loop around Lexington-Albemarle, returning to Grove.

    Right onto Grove and return to Mary Munford.

    Right onto Westmoreland (at the traffic light).

    Left onto the gravel trail at Mary Munford, except for anyone who has been told to avoid trail runs. PAX ran one full loop on the track, then returned to Westmoreland and ran back to Grove.

    That’s 1 loop.

    Repeato:

    The Loop was just under 2 miles. Runners repeated The Loop according to each PAX’s desired distance:

    4s ran 2x.

    6s ran 3x.

    5s ran 2x, then on 3rd loop, ran to Lexington, stopped and turned around at Lexington without running the Lex-Albe loop. PAX then re-traced the route to MM, and ran the full school track on the 3rd lap, then returned to MM parking lot.

    Early Risers wove themselves into the route along the way.

    Yo-Yo:

    Lots of “Yo!” as the PAX went back-and-forth on Grove. Thanks for indulging YHC. Good chatter among the PAX, and YHC enjoyed catching up with Handshake, Saab, TYA, Bone Thugs, Swirly, and others along the way. Thanks to Handshake for pulling YHC along.

    For those who missed the Pre-Blast, The Loop appeared, to YHC, like we were yo-yo-ing (spinning back-and-forth along a string).

    Announcements:

    2nd Annual, First Inaugural tomorrow in Amelia. PLEASE DO NOT SHOW UP UNTIL 2:00 p.m. There will not be a pre-event work party. Please do not arrive early.

    October 23-25, back and forth to Williamsburg Weekend. Specifics posted elsewhere. Form your teams.

    Day after Thanksgiving, the 3rd Annual Loop-til-You-Drop-or-Don’t-Care-Anymore at Forest Hill Park. 4 mile loops. Start a new loop every hour on the hour. AMRAP. Grab your big boy pants and your mental fortitude. Finish what you start. Last man standing. BYO supplies and family members.

    Prayer requests for YHC’s brother-in-law and sister-in-law and her family. RIP Bill Davis.

    Let’s keep in mind the several PAX members who are going through family loss or illness these days. Best to Phonix & Family.

    NMS:

    Each generation of Americans has its defining events. For my father, it was where he was when he learned that Pearl Harbor was attacked. For my mother, it was her location when she learned that Kennedy was assassinated. For YHC, it was the Challenger disaster, and then later, where YHC was when he learned about the attacks on 9-11.

    For TYA, well, there are some things that he can’t un-see or un-smell, and that happened 4 years ago. Glad to see Saab is back to normal.

  • Pre-Blast: RAMM Route

    Come one, come all to RAMM tomorrow.

    If you have a yo-yo holster, bring it. Much yo-yo-ing shall be done.

    Route:

    From MM, run west on Grove to Lexington-Albemarle. Take a left (toward Cary) and run the loop around Lexington-Albemarle, returning to Grove.

    Right onto Grove and return to Mary Munford.

    Right onto Westmoreland (at the traffic light).

    Left onto the gravel trail at Mary Munford, except for anyone who has been told to avoid trail runs. Saab can run on the grass. Run one full loop on the track. Return to Westmoreland and run back to Grove. That’s 1 loop.

    Repeato:

    The Loop is just under 2 miles. Repeat The Loop according to your desired distance:

    4s run 2x.

    6s run 3x.

    5s run 2x, then on 3rd loop, run to Lexington. Stop and turn around at Lexington without running the Lex-Albe loop. Return to MM, and run the full school track on the 3rd lap, return to MM parking lot.

    Early Risers join at any point/time. Late Arrivers join at any point/time.

    Yo-Yo:

    When you see a PAX tomorrow running the opposite direction say “Yo!” They will respond in kind. Nice community building step.

    And, on a map, The Loop looks, to YHC, like we are yo-yo-ing (spinning thing on a string up-and-back).

  • Sisyphus Meets Hades de Tuckahoe

    4 Corinthian warriors of the Ancient Gloom volunteered to take up the First Watch, today consisting of Zeus’ perpetual mountain penance, “The Sisyphus.” (Credit: Mr. Holland) With several FW regulars called away on various forms of Family Duty, the PAX set off precisely at 05:00, collectively commenting on the particularly pleasant, precisely sunny and 70, weather conditions.

    Mosey 30 yards to South Westham, Ridge, and some other street.

    SSHs
    DQs
    S’s DMH
    Downward Dog (right leg high, then left leg high)
    Hip and hamstring stretch

    Note the First Orange Disk marking the Top of the Hill. That’s the Return Point for each round.

    Round 1: Run downhill on South Westham to the Second Disk. Bear crawl uphill to the Return Point.

    Round 2: Run downhill to the Third Disk. Pick up a block. 25 curls. Leave the block. Run uphill to the Return Point.

    Round 3: Run downhill to the Third Disk. Pick up a block. Continue downhill to the Fourth Disk. 25 Downhill Facing Derkins. Leave the block. Run uphill to the Return Point.

    Round 4: Run downhill to the Fourth Disk. Pick up a block. Continue downhill to the Fifth Disk. 25 Uphill WWIIs. Leave the block. Run uphill to the Return Point.

    Round 5: Run downhill to the Fifth Disk. Pick up a block. Continue downhill to the Sixth Disk. Quadra-Triple Check. One PAX runs back to the Fourth Disk. Other PAX rotate through Flutter Kicks, Box Cutters, and Block Presses. Leave the block. Run 20 Yards to the First No Parking Sign.

    Park in the No Parking Zone – Complete 5 WWIIs at the next four No Parking Signs. Run to the Last No Parking Sign. Return to the Blocks.

    Round 6: Pick up a block. Carry it up South Westham BTTF. Accumulate any Orange Disks and Blocks along the way. YHC thanks the PAX for their clean-up efforts.

    Announcements:

    YHC is taking up a collection to buy Handshake’s wife an electric toothbrush.

    Ts&Ps for Florence’s MIL and Handshake’s Grandmother. Also, the entire Kubota Residence has been put under one of those 1970s Insect Infestation Nets for Fumigation purposes. YHC assures the PAX that no actual organisms will be harmed in this process; rather, they will be captured humanely and offered sanctuary on the Hardywood Family Farm, where the guineas, chickens, goats, alpacas, and bats will simply consume each organism to the point of its natural death.

    NMS: YHC has been itching for several years to attend and/or Q this workout ever since Mr. Holland introduced it at Twin Team. YHC thanks Mr. Holland. Good stuff. Each round brought an additional level of grip-i-tude from the PAX.

    For more on Sisyphus, https://www.ancient.eu/sisyphus/

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • First Stand Around and Watch

    4:55 a.m. two PAX sat in their cars, reading.

    YHC approached. YHC invited the PAX to a solid beat down. The PAX declined, preferring a restful morning at First Watch.

    YHC confesses that Kubota did invite YHC to “double post,” apparently counting a 10 minute stretch-fest at First Watch as a “workout.”

    4:56 a.m. YHC departed.

  • V-J 75

    7 gathered for a prime time celebration of the 75th anniversary of the end of WWII. Temps were sunny and 70. According to the After Action Report, something somewhat like the following might have happened.

    Mosey to the Near Circle, with a recon mission to the Amphitheater and a loop around the Circle for the COP.

    COP:

    SSHs
    4 burpees
    Hillbillies (5)
    2 burpees
    Dead Man Hang
    Arm Circles
    Freddie Mercury
    Flutter Kicks
    HRMs

    Mosey to the Edge of the Circle

    Burpee Road, only without the Burpees. Pucker suggested LBCs, so the PAX did 20 LBCs at each lamppost, illuminated or otherwise.

    Circle Up at the Small Parking Lot for a Prime Time Curb Crawl

    7 Pax. One Pax bear crawls across the parking lot and back while a different PAX suggests an exercise. Selected exercises were:

    Carolina Dry Docks
    Lt. Dans
    Flutter Kicks
    Mercans
    3 Other Exercises that all involved rocks in Swirly’s back.

    Mosey to Park Ave. for Burpee Road, this time with the Burpees.

    The PAX knows the drill. 3 burpees at each lamppost, run in between the posts. Turn around at the Police Memorial. Return to the Small Parking Lot.

    Circle Up at the Small Parking Lot for a Second Prime Time Curb Crawl. To enhance our mental dexterity, this time, the PAX switched it up. The PAX a) started at the opposite end of the lot and b) went in reverse order, thus creating a level of confusion just slightly lower than when YHC calls “Touch a Tree.”

    7 Pax. One Pax bear crawls across the parking lot and back while a different PAX suggests an exercise. Selected exercises were:

    WWIIs
    Arm circles
    Several Other Exercises that all involved rocks in Swirly’s back.

    Mosey to the Carillon for 14 HRMs, one for each year of the war (1931-1945).

    BTTF for 1 MOM (Freddy Mercuries, Gumbo-style).

    Annoucements:

    Shiplap wedding and reception at Lake Monticello on Saturday at 4. All are welcome with a +1 and kids. Remember to provide the code phrase to the guard at the gate: “We’re with the bride.” YHC also recommends any prospective attendees learn his birth name prior to crashing the party.

    Convergence on Monday, 07:00 at Gridiron, which is on Pouncey Tract way out in Short Pump. Light breakfast and coffee to follow. Donations for Crossroads Medical are the way to show your appreciation. Bring $$$$ on Saturday. Also, remember that the locals are an older group, so please wear your masks, observe social distancing, and be prepared to take long, slow walks around the parking lot with them while sharing stories about your grandparents’ experience in “The Old Country.”

    Second Annual First Inaugural is October 3 somewhere near where The Hardywood’s live (Think Cumberland Gap area). Clown cars encouraged. Sign up at a place that YHC is not familiar with and has no information about (check with Vinny). If you have ever been to a church retreat, this is different. If you have been to a 1st F, this is different. If you have been to a field with friends who are relaxing, having a beverage of their choice, tossing bean bags, and generally taking a break from 2020, this is that.

    NMS:

    Today marks the 75th Anniversary of the end of WWII (V-J Day). Many of you know that YHC’s father was a part of that generation (Great Depression, WWII, etc). The first international trip of his life was in 1943 to an exercise-laden summer camp in Canada. The second big international trip of his life was a 1944 all-expenses paid cruise to England, then a walkabout through France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Holland, Bavaria, and Potsdam.

    Let’s remember a generation of men and women who united around a righteous cause and then took the time to put their country first, and their own needs second.

    Speaking of which, Handsy joined us this morning from Memphis. He’s working with his in-laws to move his brother-in-law to Tennessee. His brother-in-law is a chemical engineer (Master’s) and an MBA. He also is blind. Hats off to a guy spending his time to help his family. We look forward to welcoming him back soon.

    UpChuck spits the bit.


  • I Was a Tire Engineer

    I Was a Tire Engineer

    13 started, 15 finished in the latest tire-tastic incarnation of Dogpile. Temps were sunny and 70 with a slight chance of showers. Handshake requested lots of walking and stretching, so accordingly, the PAX did the following:

    Mosey to the Near Circle, take a lap around the circle, and circle up for:

    SSHs
    Dead Man’s Hang
    IWs
    Helicopters
    Arm Circles (pour one out for Hardywood, not pictured).
    LBCs
    HRMs

    Mosey 10 yards to the edge of the circle to discuss the unexpected presence of 4 Continental High-Performance Tires (this is F3RVA; standard tires are for other regions).

    Form into teams of 3 or 4. Grab a tire. One man from each team carries their tire for, more or less, the rest of the workout. Change out the man carrying the tire as the team finds appropriate. Tire must remain above the carrier’s head. If the tire touches the ground, 5 burpees for the team. If the team fails to do their burpees, 10 burpees for the PAX. Accountability.

    Mosey to the Great Lawn

    Each team will bear crawl the length of the lawn. Man with the tire can walk or run, but must carry tire above his head.

    Once at the end of the Lawn, reform on the side of the Great Lawn.
    Round One: Triple check, but with only 2 options. Man runs with tire above head across Lawn and back. Other two partners do WWIIs. Swap and repeat 3 times.
    Round B: Man with tire crawls in a manner of his choice, always keeping tire off the ground. Partner 2 does Flutter Kicks. Partner 3 does Rosalitas.

    Somewhere during this effort, Bone Thugs and (Arthur) Vandelay joined us.

    YHC wrapped this up early as the PAX had some road work to complete.

    Mosey to the Far Circle for a Group Effort. Track Building.

    Block coupons were apparently left overnight by the circle, and they needed to be moved to the Ha’ Penny Stage. With only 15 PAX to move 30 coupons, the PAX decided:

    1. The tires could not touch the ground.
    2. The tires could not be carried.
    3. The coupons and tires must be moved to the Ha’ Penny Stage.

    Solution: Build a Road of Blocks. Teams could work alone or in groups. Team A decided to work alone, and as they started first, their progress looked like a winner, for the first 15 yards.

    Then, Teams B, C, and D started, and they cooperated to build a single road. From there, a bloodbath ensued. 11 guys can build a road faster than 4. Since this is F3, the early finishers came back to help their brothers finish their task.

    Lesson: work with and help your F3 brothers. They can help you through (most) obstacles.

    Touch-a-Tree (It’s not an UpChuck Q without It):

    One man from each team carries the tire over his head and touches 3 trees.
    Other members of the team perform exercises.

    Round one was a medley of flutter kicks, abyss merkins, and squats or monkey humpers. Plus, the tire carrying.

    Round B was “head, shoulders, knees, and toes,” which DTH was kind enough to demonstrate. Plus, the tire carrying.

    Put away the blocks. Carry the tires.

    Native American walk, then mosey, then AYG BTTF. Tire carrying guys run circles around their team.

    Number-am-a, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    Jimminee Christmas, the PAX was all about announcements today.

    Puppy Pile mañana. 7 a.m. Don’t You Dare Pay a Toll to attend. DTH will either have a slip-and-slide or Mama Natura will provide one. Bring your own kids or bring a friend’s kids. Heck, bring your parents.

    Hitchhiker completes another trip around the sun this week. Congrats. Please celebrate without twisting your ankle.

    Bone Thugs 10-k will take place on Friday at RAMM. Someone fill in the start time, please. YHC thinks 5:15. That’s a.m.

    AlpacaPalooza is Saturday, August 22nd at the Hardywood Family Petting Zoo in Mosely, VA, which YHC thinks is somewhere in Henry County. 3-8 p.m. See invite on Slack or in the News Section of F3RVA.com.

    Iron Pax Challenge. DTH and BoBerry are in. Sign up under team RVA. This event is designed to teach the PAX how easy YHC’s directions are to follow.

    Retreat on October 3. Bring a tent, food and beverages of your choosing, and a Cornhole Partner. Maybe that came out wrong. Address to be posted in Slack. Remember: this is a 2nd F, not a workout.

    October: F3RVA CSAUP. Maybe we’ll bike and/or run to Williamsburg.

    Shiplap is getting married in a few weeks. Really. This thing is going to happen. Walk through is today, in the rain. Congratulations.

    Wojo: see above.

    NMS:

    YHC bought new tires. YHC kept the old tires. YHC brought them today, and they were fun. YHC thanks the PAX for tolerating the experiment today.

    Today’s workout title comes from Hitchhiker, who YHC learned was an actual tire engineer in a prior career. Hitch says Continental HPTs are good in the rain.

    Also, for future Qs, the Amphitheater was more or less closed today. The stage is taped off, and the grass is higher than corn in September. Yikes.

  • Don’t You Dare Touch-a-Tree

    One PAX sallied forth into the first of several days of vacation in the mountains formerly known as Western Virginia. Dodging the occasional morning walker, YHC relished the sunny and 70 temps while doing:

    Do Not Even Think of Touching a Tree

    YHC loves directions. Complicated directions. Today’s workout was dedicated to Fudd, Wilson, and all the other PAX for whom YHC’s directions have proven elusive. Even when done the same way for 4 years. Or, when provided in writing.

    Today’s workout was simple: a) do it OYO, and 2) make it hard. With some fine print.

    Directions:

    Pick a section of the park in front of YHC’s cottage. A “section” is any grassy area bounded by a path (bike path, walking path, road, any asphalt, gravel, or YHC was just not sure, so YHC called it a path to get this show on the road). For any PAX not sure of what a “section” is, it is what you say it is. OYO. Make it hard.

    Mosey to a tree in that section to start. Do 5 or 10 reps of an exercise (mercans and any ab exercise were today’s winners as YHC’s knee continues to be balky). Generally, do 4-count exercises. OYO. Make it hard.

    Mosey to the “next” tree of choice in that section. 5 or 10 reps. Dealer’s Choice on the exercise. OYO. Make it hard.

    Continue until YHC visited every tree in a section, generally between 5 and 30 trees.

    YHC estimates 5-6 sections.

    Fine Print:

    Answers to questions that the PAX would have asked, if the PAX were present:
    Park benches are 20 dips.
    Light poles are a burpee.
    Funky looking ivy-like trees are 5 WWIIs.
    Make an honest effort to alternate mercans with ab exercises.
    A single mercan includes touching the ground with your chest.
    Curls with the plastic buckets in the kid’s sand box are optional.

    If the terrain is approached going up-hill, exercises are done “incline.”
    If the terrain is approached down hill, exercises are “decline.”
    Again, OYO. Make it hard.

    Finish an entire section before moving to the next section.
    Bear crawl across any asphalt, gravel, road, etc.
    Move only between adjacent sections.
    If this is not possible, bear crawl to the next section. OYO. Make it hard.

    Rule #1: Do not touch a tree, a branch, a leaf, a pine needle, or any other object naturally attached to a tree, other than the roots. Penalty is 5 burpees. Per branch or tree. No penalties were incurred.

    Rule #2: Do not ruin or break a spider web. (More challenging than it sounds). Penalty is 10 burpees. Some burpees were incurred.

    Rule #3: Do not leave a section without completing all required exercises. Penalty is 5 burpees, per tree or bench. YHC missed a set of benches hidden by bushes. Ugh.

    Number-am-a, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took himself out.

    NMS:

    YHC is ready for vacation. He’s been on the DL much of the spring/summer. A workout with light running, but solid intensity was what YHC needed.

    Today’s message to Self:

    F3 is fundamentally about Accountability. A lone PAX has to step up the Accountability. No cheating on the mercans. No moving on without doing the extra work when a penalty is incurred. No stopping with sections left in the park. No holding a contest and then not following through when you lose the contest (YHC sees you – and, you know who you are).

    Make a commitment to do the work. Follow through on that commitment. Accountability in Life is OYO. Accountability is hard.