Author: Upchuck

  • The Thundering Herd

    Eight men gathered for the last pre-Thanksgiving Spider Run.  Temps were sunny and 70, or 50 and calm winds, both perfect for a morning saunter.

    The Thang:
    Exit UofR to take a right on Campus, left on Three Chopt, quick right onto Pepper.  Right on Patterson.

    4 milers…right on Libbie and right on Grove.
    5 milers…right on Harlan, slight left onto Oak, and right on Grove
    6 milers…right on Westhampton and right on Grove.

    All runners, right just prior to Three Chopt, left on Iris. Follow Robin, Fairway, and Ridgeway back to UofR, then right and left back to the Student Center.

    Number-am-a, Name-a-ram-a, announcements, YHC took us out.

    Announcements:
    TYA will host a Thanksgiving morning beat down at 45MOM.  Start time is 06:00.
    Breaking Bread this Sunday:  YHC will take the lead, but what was The Lone Ranger without Tonto?  Or, Batman without Robin.  Or, Starsky without Hutch?  YHC could use a second.  Who’s in town and able to contribute a little time?  Respond in the BB.

    NMS:
    Today’s BB title comes not from any reference to Va. Tech. (that’s coming), but rather from YHC passing TYA on Grove…apparently, YHC’s breathing was heavy enough that TYA may have believed YHC was multiple men.  “A Thundering Herd of One”

    Speaking of TYA, he and Saab have built a strong friendship through F3.  Today, they looked like a Doublemint commercial. Way to coordinate clothes, fellas.

    As for Tech…if YHC had been asked in at the beginning of this year, “Which is more likely, UVA will lose as a #1 seed to UMBC or VT will need to beat UVA in football in order to play any football in December?” YHC would surely have selected UVA choking.  The Commonwealth’s teams are having a tough year.  Here’s hoping Friday’s game is a good one – perhaps the first competitive game in some time.

    Take the time to give thanks this week, fellas.

  • And a one, two, three…a one, two, three

    25 band members, including 3 FNGs, plus one conductor posted for the Lawrence Welk Show revival tour, RVA edition.  During the next pledge driver, PBS will rebroadcast the show, in black-and-white, this way:

    Warm-up Act: Mosey to the near traffic circle:
    Invisible jump rope, IWs, SSHs, Hillbillies, LBCs, flutter kicks, HRMs and fire hydrants…each x16

    For our First Number…Mosey to the Carillon.  Partner up…Wheelbarrow across the bricks the “long way.”  At the end of each turn, add Shoulder Presses.  First round 10, 2nd round 15, 3rd round 16.

    For our Second Number…Mosey to the field behind the Carillon for Touch-a-Tree.  Partner up. Rounds of 10-8-6-4-2…some mix of Mary…flutter kicks, LBCs, snow angels, burpees and one other thing.  Planking and HRMs mixed in for the six.

    Brass rusts in the rain, so for our Third Number…onto the side street next to Rugby Road for Up-and-Down, partner style…Run down the hill, 20 WWIIs, backwards run up the hill, 10 ‘mercans…repeato x3 or until time called.

    The Band closed out the morning in the Amphitheater with an extended re-mix…a little number called “V-Ups.” Let’s take it from the top…18, dropping one for each step down…one lap around the Amphitheater for an encore.

    BTTF.  Number-a-ma, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    Hammers and Ales coming up…don’t be a tool.  Bring a friend, bring a tool, and help a good cause.  Nov 10, 6 p.m.  https://backblasts.f3rva.org/2018/10/31/pre-blast-please-come-to-hammers-ales-11-10-18-6pm/

    Gro-Ruck comes to Richmond March 22-24, 2019. Spend a weekend pushing yourself and growing yourself, backpack-style.  Final exam requires carrying a Henrico County 7th grader’s backpack 300 yards to the bus stop.  Harder than it sounds.

    Bear Creek 10-miler. Ankle tape and high tops optional.  Come hear the Kingston Trio sing “Charlie on the MTA” on repeat throughout the 10 miles.  Lab Rat Stew at the Finish.

    NMS:
    Today was an FNG-Fest for rights to the Ghost Flag.  Two SOJ men posted, in the Northern Hemispheric sense…one Virginian, one Floridian…thus securing the GF for SOJ.  Welcome to Purple Rain, Knope, and (briefly, but now formerly, Z-Pack), hereafter called, “Bone Thug.”

    YHC appreciates the push from Flange, Gumbo, and Sippy Cup.  Nice work, fellas.

    Much grumbling by the pax during the Wheelbarrow + Shoulder Press.  This also made an appearance on Monday when YHC Q’d Hoedown.  YHC has now done the shoulder presses with both Splinter and Flange, thus illuminating the spectrum of “verticality.”

    Lastly, the backblast title comes courtesy of YHC’s cadence, only recently diagnosed as bearing an uncanny resemblance to Lawrence Welk’s conducting.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Another Blow Out at Hoedown

    A lucky 13 pugilists came forth on the day before the penultimate day of October to celebrate the start of the week and the 31st Anniversary of Thomas Hearns winning his fourth boxing title.  The glow-light runners on Forest tell the tale this way:

    COP: Mosey to Church parking lot.  IW’s x 15, IJR x20, Hillbillies x10, SSHs x20, DQs, LBCs x25, Rosalitas, and HRMs x10

    Mosey to the Teacher’s Parking Lot:

    Partner up.
    Round 1: Wheelbarrow across parking lot.  Partner 1 does 10 shoulder presses.  Swap spots, wheelbarrow back.
    Round 2: x15
    Round 3: Q senses brewing revolution…Semi-audible…

    Mosey to the Parent Parking Lot:

    11’s…squats, run the parking lot, run backwards up the asphalt hill, and decline merkins

    Mosey to West Drive Circle for Lindsey: flutter kicks and monkey humpers.  Run West Drive Circle between rounds.

    Mosey back to the Bus Circle:
    Triple check…BTTW, Frederick Mercury, and run the loop.

    Circle up at the SF for one round of Mary…Hello Dollies x10

    Number-a-ma, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took us out.

    Announcements:
    November 3 – Hardywood is hosting FNG Fest with the Ghost Flag at Dogpile. Bring a friend and see whether they have the stuff to be nicknamed “Harambe”
    Marmaduke is collecting coats for the homeless…likely everyone of us has a closet with old stuff in it (YHC certainly does). If you haven’t worn it in 2 winters…consider the pride you will have seeing your coat keeping someone warm this winter.
    BRR…early December.  BT is looking to be persuaded to register. Ankle tape, elbow pads, and a decent rake are all optional.

    NMS:
    Hutton put it very well this morning.  “Did I miss a chili cook off this weekend?”  W.O.W.  The horn section came out in full force.  The PAX took “push yourself, don’t hurt yourself” to the edge.
    YHC was happy to welcome HoneyDo back to Hoedown, thus the Wheelbarrow + Shoulder Press combination…YHC apologizes to the PAX for not including ZingFit in the evolutions.
    YHC continues to be impressed with the PAX’s ability to come up with new ways to count reps. 2-count? 4-count?  By 5’s? By 10’s?   New math abounds…https://boingboing.net/2014/03/10/a-math-teacher-explains-new.html

    Enjoy the day, fellas.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • World Turned Upside Down

    22 hearty souls launched for a variety of two-wheeled or two-footed exercises…temps were sunny and 70.

    Routes were varied…some walkers, some 4 milers, some 5 milers, some pseudo-6 milers, and some Kubotas.

    Walkers…generally out and back on Grove.

    4 Milers…Grove to Maple to Park to Granite to Grove and back to the flag.

    5 Milers…Grove to Maple to Bremo to Crestwood to Libbie to Grove and back to the flag.

    6 Milers…Grove to (hey, Saab, turn on Maple…, hey, Saab, turn on Maple…)…oh, just run on Grove.

    Kubota run…show up early, run hard, do more.

    Number-a-ma (false start), Number-a-ma again, Name-a-ram-a, announcements, and Swiper took us out with a metaphor about long-term personal growth.  Or, trees.  Or, planting.  YHC thanks him.

    Announcements:

    CSAUP tomorrow at 7.

    Bring warm coats on Saturdays.  Marmaduke collecting for the homeless.

    PuppyPile October 27

    Bear Creek 10 Miler.  December 2 at Bear Creek State Park.

    NMS:

    F3 history was made today, the 237th anniversary of Cornwallis British forces surrendering at Yorktown. When Cornwallis surrendered, the American military band played “The World Turned Upside Down.”

    Today, YHC saw something new….an un-injured Swirly walking. In fact, lots of walkers today.  Looks like the PAX will be ready to start the CSAUP on full-rest.  Good luck to all who are running/walking/riding tomorrow.  7:00 a.m. at Shelter 1.  Place your bets on FanDuel.com.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Continue This Over Coffee?

    Tu-Pac’s rejected the warmth and dryness of The Fartsack and pushed forth into the cool morning rain showers that made up the latest rendition of Sunday Funday. The tatoo artists around Monroe Park will tell the story something like this:

    Route:

    Rain made for muddy trails, so the PAX stuck to blacktop and concrete. From Pump House Park…north on Park Drive…through the neighborhood and park to Robinson, north to Monument heading east bound. Monument becomes Franklin. From there, continue east until 5th St., then southbound at 5th St. From there, west onto Cary until Robinson, then south to the Park, keeping the VITA Trail to our right and back to the VSF.

    YHC lost count of his steps, and as neither Hardywood nor YHC was wearing a watch or other GPS-enabled device, there is no precise record of the distance. Google Maps says roughly 8 miles. Hardywood says 81 miles. Reality somewhere in between.

    NMS:

    Today was a fine morning to hit the streets and observe Richmond at its Sunday morning best. Modest foot traffic, pleasant drivers, and few, if any, cyclists. YHC continues to be amazed by the multiplicity of approaches the average citizen takes to seeing their fellow man jogging past on a cool morning…everything from complete aloofness to a pleasant wave and a hello.

    ET’s always offers some good conversation. Today, no different – thanks for the advice, buddy.  And, outside definitely trumps inside.

    Have a super Sunday.  And, if you are a Cleveland Browns fan, condolences.  Talk about snatching a tie from the jaws of victory.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Hold On. This One’s Not Centered Right.

    Three ground pounders churned through sunny and 70 temps to grind out today’s version of Sunday Funday.  Here’s how it either happened (or YHC wishes it happened).

    Route: South Bank + Larriott + Pottersfield + North Bank.  Roughly 7 miles in total.  Ponch was squeezed for time, but shoe-horned somewhere in the 3-4 mile range with limited time.  Well done.

    Silent Number-am-a, Name-a-rama, and YHC mumbled something about what a treat this part of life is.  And, there was a bit of a silent remembrance for a friend.

    NMS:

    Great day for YHC to get back on the trails. It’s been a few weeks since YHC has done a Sunday run, so YHC was a little reticent given a tender ankle and a limited amount of miles over the past week or two.  Turns out…no worries.  Good stamina, even with the humidity.  Let’s hear it for me.

    Nice to see Ponch join us – he is building back up his endurance running.  Great job today.  And, way to push this morning in order to balance the first F and the Family F when crunched for time.  Squeeze in the miles when you can.  Looking forward to having you join us on more Sundays.

    Lab Rat was his normal chatty self, and between the two of us, many solutions were developed to the world’s problems.  Implementation seems to be lacking, but plans are in the works for addressing Trump, employment for those with special needs, female aging, and the appropriate times for a woman to announce she has put on a bra.  Glad to hear the coffee carts are going well.  Next week: male pattern baldness among other topics.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Really, We Can’t Call the Run That

    ONE PAX posted for a distinctly non-gloomy run in the Gloom. 5:45 a.m. came, temps were sunny and 70, no LIFO’s appeared, and YHC was off.

    Route: Sudurhild to Bustadavegur to Langahild (becomes Noatun).  4 milers turn around (no takers), 5 milers left on Laugavegur to Snorrabraut.  Slight right onto Hverfistaga.  5 milers turn around at Frakkastigur.  Reverso.  Back to the VSF.

    YHC apologies to LabRat for mis-spelling precisely all of the street names.

    Number-am-a, Name-a-rama, YHC took himself out.

    Announcements:

    July 4, Convergence.  7:00 a.m. Tredegar.

    NMS:

    YHC rose for a sub-Arctic, Reykyavik summer morning.  Temps were actually sunny and 45, with the June sun certifiably magnificent at 10 a.m. levels in the sky at 5:45 a.m.  No Gloom here.

    The route was empty.  Iceland is not a country of early risers in the summer.  Despite running through urban neighborhoods / downtown, YHC saw precisely 4 humans on foot, 3 on bikes, and no more than 10 moving cars over 5 miles. No dogs/pets/other runners.  Turn-around point was (and YHC is not making this up) the National Phallological Museum, apparently the only point (ahem) of interest that appeared on Google Maps. For reference, it’s called,”Hid islenzka redasafn.”  After using his meager Icelandic, YHC deduces that either the first or last of those words means “Museum.”

    UpChuck spits the bit.

     

  • Pre-Blast: Who Q? (Next Puppy Pile)

    Pre-Blast: Who Q? (Next Puppy Pile)

    “But he’ll remember with advantages
    What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
    Familiar in his mouth as household words,…
    …Be in their flowing cups freshly remembered.
    This story shall the good man teach his son,…”
      — Shakespeare, Henry V
    July needs a Puppy Pile, and Puppy Pile needs a Q.  Teach your son (or daughter, or sons, or daughters, or sons and daughters…).
    I’ll be out of town for a couple of weeks.  Need a H.I.M. to step up.  Who shall pick up the Gauntlet and lead?  (He’ll also need to pick a date and talk it up at workouts and to the up-coming Q’s).  Easy-peasy.

  • Four Men, Three Routes, One Great Idea

    4 PAX emerged from the Sunday Fart Sack to pound out some trail miles.  Just prior to 7 a.m., appropriate greetings were exchanged, goals for the day shared, and off we went.  Temps were sunny, 70, and a touch of humidity.

    Routes:

    TYA…North Bank, perhaps Texas Beach, at a walker’s pace (mileage unclear…goal: be pain free)

    Saab…South Bank, Forest Hill Loop, North Bank…at a runner’s pace (10 miles)

    Olivander and YHC…South Bank, North Bank…at (ahem) an UpChuck pace (7 miles).  Olivander was running with a restrictor plate.

    NMS:

    Good to catch up with Olivander today as it was YHC’s first time running with him.  Strong performance and thanks for dragging YHC through the humidity.

    Pre-notice to the PAX…TYA was hip-pain free after today’s walk.  This left his brain free to concentrate on diabolical ways to challenge the PAX, a core skill of his.  Good stuff coming…stay tuned.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • No Excuses. I’m Just Going to Have to Find Myself Another Giant.

    BLUF (it’s in the Lexicon): Shakedown is COOP Strong.  Consumes the Daily Red Pill.  Brother has EH’d like a million FNGs.  YHC takes his hat off.

    First, a history lesson…

    Bereshit bara Elohim et hashamayim ve’et ha’aretz.
    When in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was untamed and shapeless.  (God created man to shape it, and gave Men F3 to help other Men shape each other.)
    Later that week, a serpent (F3: Salazar) slithered up to his FNG buddy Adam (F3: Steve Jobs) and EH’d him.  Both men posted to AO Hothouse, where Salazar encouraged Steve Jobs through his first workout.  Turns out it was some lady’s garden, she over-reacted, and they were BLACK MIATA’D (it’s also in the Lexicon, look it up) out of the first AO.  “Campos Cerrados,” or in Hebrew סגורים שדשדות
    A Few Years Later: Steve Jobs hosts first 2.0 workout. Cain (F3: Brother’s Keeper) and his younger bro’, Abel (F3: Gullible) both invited and both post.  Steve Jobs guides FNG sons through workout. Cain posts once, returns to being Sad Clown, F3 name taken away.
    753 BC or 1 A.U.C. – Rome founded by two brothers, Romulus and Remus, born of a She-Wolf. Romulus encourages Remus to get his tail out of the Fart-Wolf-Lair and post to F3 Palatine Hill.  Romulus staves off fight with local Etruscans by explaining Starfish Model, encourages peace via a rotating Q, and plants shovel flag at AO Capitoline Hill.  Etruscans start tradition of riding their donkeys to FNG’s farm, picking up FNG, and guiding each FNG through first workout.
    0 AD or 753 AUC – Jesus born (F3: Hey-Zeus).  Hey-Zeus’ dad, Joseph (F3: Hands Free) EH’s 3 out of town friends (F3: Manny, Moe, and Jack).  Despite the danger, Hands Free posts with FNGs; uses light from the Star in the East to wake self and FNGs.  Despite Gloom, star points the way to the time and place of the workout.  Tradition of starting on time begins.
    1439 AD – Gutenberg (F3: Oral Tradition) invents printing press; creates first written Back Blast.  EH’s his boss, Holy Roman Emperor, previously a Sad Clown.  And, posts with him.
    1908 AD – Kaiser Wilhelm (F3: Cousin Billy) builds Glockenspiel, world’s largest alarm clock, beginning 110 year streak of not a single Munchenlander over-sleeping a workout.
    2016 AD – Honey Do EH’s YHC.  Appears at YHC’s house at 5:15 a.m., picks up YHC, ensuring YHC’s presence at AO, on-time, emotionally supports YHC through first workout.
    This Year:  Shakedown, most prolific EH’er of Modern Times, secures like 200 FNG’s.  Friends, family, co-workers, dudes he met at cross-fit, etc.
    Last night: Shakedown texts 2 FNGs to remind them of today’s workout. “NO EXCUSES” for not posting.

    Today, at the AO:
    pre-5:31 a.m. to 5:46 a.m.     FNG Adam (different guy, same name) drives alone endlessly around the AO in an unmarked white sedan.
    5:32 a.m.  YHC arrives.  Secures AO.  Wonders who is in the unmarked white sedan creeping around the AO.
    5:37 a.m. YHC: Seriously, who is the dude creeping around in the unmarked white sedan?
    5:40 a.m. YHC: Seriously, who is the dude creeping around in the unmarked white sedan?
    5:44 a.m.  FNG Ed (F3: Lorax, today’s War Daddy) arrives. Asks Q,”Is this where the workout group meets?  Do you know Joe Parfitt?”
    5:44 a.m. YHC responds,”Joe Parfitt?  Oh, Shakedown!  Love that guy.”
    5:45 a.m. YHC: Seriously, who is the dude creeping around in the unmarked white sedan?
    5:46 a.m. FNG Adam (F3 La Fonda) returns (again) in unmarked white sedan. Asks Q,”Is this where the workout group meets?  Do you know Joe Parfitt?”  Adam runs out of gas.
    5:46 a.m. – YHC responds,”Joe Parfitt?  Oh, Shakedown!  Love that guy.”
    5:47 a.m. – 5:59 a.m.     – various PAX arrive.  Each PAX, upon appearing, utters the same phrase,”What’s going on?  This has to be the smallest Dog Pile group we have ever had.  Maybe everyone is going to Puppy Pile?”
    6:00:01 a.m. – Hardywood and Phonics arrive.
    6:00:05 a.m. – Let’s mosey.
    Meanwhile, at The Fart Sack – 6:01 a.m.     – Shakedown wakes up.
    Meanwhile, Back at the AO – 6:02 a.m. – Goldberg arrives.

    11 PAX, including 2 FNG’s, having checked the back-up batteries in their alarm clocks, set their alarms, and resisted the lure of the Fartsack, post to the smallest Dog Pile in recent memory.

    Mosey to Never Used Grassy Area:
    Arm circles, IW’s, SSH’s, LBC’s, Freddie Mercury’s, HRMs

    Mosey to Traffic Circle beyond the Carillon for Up-and-Downs
    Run down hill, perform LBCs at bottom, run backwards up hill to the traffic circle.  5 rounds.
    First round, 1 set of 40
    Second round, 2 sets of 20
    Third round, 8 sets of 5
    Fourth round, 5 sets of 8
    Fifth round, 4 sets of 10
    Plank for the 6.

    Mosey to Great Lawn
    Authentic Crab Walk (think “bear crawl, sideways”).  Partner Up.
    First Round: Each partner individually ACWs across small width of Great Lawn.  Q realizes being a crab would be  awful.
    Second Round: Start at end of GL.  Partner 1 runs to center of GL and back.  Partner 2 ACWs towards center of GL.  When partners meet, partners swap.  Continue until team reaches mid-field.
    Al Gore.

    Mosey to corner of Blanton and Park for Burpee Road
    3 burpees at each light post.  EC: 3 burpees at EVERY post – lamp or no lamp!
    Al Gore, or Plank, or just pass out.

    Mosey to VITA Trail
    10 reverse crunches at every VITA Trail stop.  Circle up at south end of trail.

    Elevens in the Lake of Pain
    LBCs and mercans.  Run through the lake.

    Mosey back to the Flag
    Shakedown (LIFO) appears.  6:59 a.m. counts.  Push yourself, don’t hurt yourself.
    Quick round of rosalitas.

    Number-a-ma, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took us out.

    Announcements:
    Puppy Pile starts in 3 minutes.
    Home Run Derby, Tuesday, Robious Elementary School.  PAX appearing at No Toll should bring own tee, balls, and pitching machine.
    Look for details on yet another HDHH Going Away Event for Fudd.  Every month until the move.
    July 4 Convergence, 7:00 a.m. at Tredegar.
    BRR…sign up now, start training now.

    NMS:

    Great to see a strong showing by FNGs Lorax and La Fonda on a day modest on heat, heavy on humidity.  Well done, gentlemen. Hope to see you both again soon.

    Hardywood and Phonics crushed the Summer of Stickiness today, making quick work of the backwards run up the hill.  Hardywood then invented the Curb Assisted Plank.  See him for a demonstration.

    YHC’s math skills befuddled some of the PAX today.  YHC appreciates the PAX tolerating his sense of humor.

    Speaking of math, and all kidding aside, YHC encourages the PAX to take the time to count how many FNGs Shakedown has EH’d this year.  Wow.  One man EH’ing machine.  YHC counts 5 (at least) over YHC’s last 2 Saturday Q’s and at least a few more on other days.  Hats off, brother.  Apologies for pulling a Canseco (yep, it’s in the Lexicon).

    And, thank you to the Sky-Q for another Friday night of heavy rain.  YHC loves the Lake (and antibiotics).

    UpChuck spits the bit.