Author: Upchuck

  • He’s a Mudder. His Mother was a Mudder. His Father was a Mudder.

    It was a Saab Q, but as he is penning the Epic Poem of the F3 Richmond CSAUP from yesterday, Up Chuck is ghost writing this one.

    3 Pax sallied forth for a drizzled Sunday, Muddy Sunday run.  Conditions were, one might say, muddy.  After the obligatory discussion in the parking lot of options…out-and-back vs. loop, more gear vs. less gear, muddy trail vs. hard asphalt, here’s how it went down:

    The Thang:

    Saab led us on a warm-up run southbound on Nichol Bridge followed thereafter by a retracing of our steps (more to follow on this).  The PAX chose to continue on the North Side Trail towards downtown.  The PAX split at the parking lot above Texas Beach into Short Run and Long Run.  Short Run was an out and back to that point with the Long Run continuing on the NST (or, given the conditions, perhaps IN the NST is a better description) to Belvedere.  YHC and Saab continued on terra firma through Oregon Hill on Pine, Holly, China, Cherry, etc. until reaching Idlewood, which the PAX then generally followed back to Fountain Lake, Trafford Rd. (abutting the VITA Trail), Boulevard, and down Love Hill to the parking lot.  In total, YHC estimates Long (ish?) Run in the neighborhood of 6-7 miles.

    Moleskin:

    Hats off to Two Can and Saab for joining YHC today.  After bailing out early yesterday in order to fulfill coaching duties, YHC went to bed Saturday feeling that he left too much energy on the table at the CSAUP.  All F3 Richmond PAX can relate to the spiritual crash the day after a Swirly Q (“I NEED more upper body!  How can I get more upper body?”), but rather than try to get even more jacked, YHC decided to hit the trails. Muddy Sunday ensued.  Skies were grey and cloudy and dark and grey, so absent Two Can and Saab, YHC could easily have listened to a few more Podcasts in the car and bagged it.  But, the sight of a couple PAX was all the push YHC needed.  Thanks, fellas.

    Saab led us on the Nichol Bridge in strong fashion.  Starting up the south side incline, Saab experienced the bane of all distance runners: the uncertainty that comes with the nagging question,”Did I lock my car?”  While Saab was reluctant to delay the PAX, F3 is about team work.  YHC explained that Saab had two options: 1) return his car, with all PAX accompanying him, in order to verify the security of his car, wallet, and phone, or 2) continue on the run knowing that Saab would be dogged throughout the run by two things: a) the nagging thought that he had not locked his car, and all his important physical possessions would be stolen, and b) YHC continuously mentioning the nagging thought that Saab had not locked his car, likely resulting in all his important physical possessions being stolen. YHC believes that Saab silently considered, “If ‘defenestra’ is the Latin root for throwing someone out a window, what is the Latin verb that means “to vomit (or,’to Up Chuck,’) off the Nichol Bridge?”

    The Saab Mobile secured, the PAX hit the NST, which proved a little more Slip Slidin’ Away than Simon and Garfunkel could have imagined. Mumblechatter ensued.  Thus, after the one-way trip down NST, the PAX thought better of Buttermilk and the Loop, opting for the hard roads home.

    Today was a spur of the moment run for Two Can.  Props for pounding through on a sloppy Sunday.  Quite a mudder.  YHC is looking forward to hitting the trails with Two Can on a drier day…dry trails = happy trails.

    Thanks to Saab for pushing me.  Even though our total was only 6 or 7 miles, it’s nice to be at a spot where 6-7 miles feels like a short run.

    As someone has to abide at the end of every Saab Q, Up Chuck abides.

    Announcements:

    BRR sign up underway.  September 7-9.  Get out there.

     

  • We’re on a Death March to Siberia?

    “Nelson refused a cloak.  He said his zeal for King and country kept him warm.”  — Jack Aubrey

     

    16 PAX of questionable sanity and unquestioned spirit posted in a steady stream of snow, wind, and general nastiness for the first 2017 edition of The Dogpile.  Here’s how it went down:

    Slaughter Starter

    20 burpees, in cadence.
    (Or, they might have been in cadence if YHC (ahem) had remembered to call a cadence immediately after saying,”In cadence.”  Perhaps, that was for the best.)

    Mosey to Amphitheater for COP

    SSHs (x30)
    Imperial Walkers (x20)
    Arm Circles
    LBCs (x40)
    Reverse Crunches (x10)

    Rusty Cage

    5 pull ups
    10 merkins
    15 partner dips
    Repeato x3

    Siberian (or, ahem, Alaskan) Death March (no Ruskies in this group)

    Snow adaptation of the Bataan Death March. PAX forms 3 lines with all but one PAX in each line carrying a sandbag.  PAX with sandbags start slow march / mosey.  PAX without sandbag perform 5 burpees, then run to catch up before swapping sandbag with last PAX in each line and moving to front.  Last man performs 5 burpees, catches up, etc.  Continue until PAX arrival at 2nd circle.

    At second circle, swap sandbags for bricks.

    Mosey to Carillon Wall for Touch a Tree
    10 trees down to 2 trees by 2’s.
    Wonderbra for 10, 8, 6 (with bricks)
    Donkey kicks for round ‘o 4
    BTTW for round ‘o 2

    Swap bricks for sandbags and continue Death March to the Great Sunken Field.  Audible replaced runner + burpees with runner looping marchers twice, then swapping with next PAX.

    Great Sunken Field: Sprint half length of field, recover for 10 yards, and sprint remaining distance.  Short recover and repeato on return leg.

    Modified Rick Dempsey (4 Corners with Style)  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNriCZoTcw4   For those not familiar, go to 4:39 seconds.  Pre-internet, this was the best rain delay entertainment money couldn’t buy.)

    Bases at corners of Great Sunken Field
    1st Base – 20 merkins
    2nd Base – 20 mountain climbers
    3rd Base – 20 snow angels
    Home Plate – Best slide with style into home plate

    Finish Death March back to Rusty Cage
    Store sandbags, then mosey back to the flag.

    Number-rama, Name-a-rama, COT. YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    YHC takes his hat off to each PAX who posted today.  Plenty of reasons to Fart Sack it on a snowy Saturday.  Except for having the Q, YHC might have done so.  But, YHC will never again doubt about posting during a Saturday morning snowstorm.  While a typical F3 workout proudly takes place “in the Gloom,” the forecast called for “No Gloom” today – the PAX brought pure anticipation and excitement making it feel Sunny and 70 from the start.  Way to bring the spirit today, gentlemen.

    Every F3 Richmond PAX has experienced the pre-workout mumble chatter about wardrobe selections for a workout.  Tights v. no tights.  Shorts v. pants.  Sleeves (Wilson) v. No Sleeves (Hardywood).  Today did not disappoint.  Solid respect to Honey Do and Hardywood for winning the ZZ Top Award (“He’s Got Legs”) today…bare legs during a snowstorm.  Solid.  Your prize is free counseling services.  Dr. Melfi will call you.  Y’all a little cra’ cra’.

    Off Shore won the Missed It By a Day Award wearing his best outfit for raking leaves.  That’s one fine flannel jacket…unfortunately (or, fortunately), hombre, raking will have to wait for spring.

    Honorable Mention to TYA for taking the Bag Man Award and providing further proof that there is only one right answer to the age old question,”Paper or Plastic?”  Indeed, dry feet are happy feet, even when wrapped in plastic bags.

    The Bloodhound Award goes to LIFO Wheelbarrow for picking up our trail in the snow.  Well done.   Also, Wheelbarrow is the only Double Award Winner today… he also took the Rick Dempsey Award for best slide into home…a beardfull (yep, that’s one word!) of snow is a sure winner every time.

    Finally, each PAX’s M and/or 2.0’s likely questioned his sanity today.  In their hearts, they also noted the determination, comradeship, and toughness of each man in this group.  Well done, today.  YHC enjoyed the privilege of Q-ing.

    Announcements

    CSAUP (you mean, this wasn’t it?) on January 21.  Start at Dogpile at 6.  Cookout at Dogpile at 9.   Join your F3 comrades for a free tour of Richmond with 3 workouts in between.  Lab Rat promises horrible beer at the end (If you don’t want your share, YHC bets another PAX will gladly finish it for you).

    Bel Monte coming up in March.  Anyone who posted today is clearly filled with sufficient fortitude to do a 50K or 50 Miler (or 25K!).  Sign up now.

  • Boxing Day at The Punisher

    6 faithful shook off the post-Christmas food coma this morning to help un-wrap a special Boxing Day version of The Punisher.  Known as the day to re-gift any unwanted Christmas presents, Boxing Day offered the PAX an adventure around the AO to seek out a few boxed treats.  Here’s what the PAX found:

    Re-Gift #1 (left on YHC’s car window):
    Slaughter Starter: 20 in-cadence burpees done cold (well, modified version…the PAX allowed themselves 10 seconds to stretch).  Way to pound them out!

    COP:
    SSHs x20
    Imperial Walkers x20
    Don Quixotes x10
    LBC’s x20
    Sweat Angels x20

    PAX picked up bricks and sprinted to First Tree (a dead-ringer for Charlie Brown’s sapling).  Note: when this PAX is receiving gifts, this PAX don’t mosey. The PAX found 3 gift boxes mysteriously left at base of Charlie Brown’s tree.

    Re-Gift #2:
    Partner up.  First partner does polar bear crawl x8 (gift box 1) and then completes the circuit with a sprint of about 75 yards (gift box 2).  Second partner performs Wonderbras (gift box 3) along the brick wall.  Switch positions. Repeato x3

    Sprint to massive fir tree…”Oh, wow, MORE GIFTS!”  PAX found three more gift boxes at the base of the tree.

    Re-Gift #3:
    Each PAX performed shoulder taps in cadence (gift box 1) x15 then arc loaders (gift box 2) and finished with a 25 yard sprint to perform 20 reverse crunches (gift box 3).  Reverse direction with arc loaders and back to starting point.  Repeato x3.

    Strong run to front of school in search of more gift boxes…which, lo and behold, the PAX found 3 more of.

    Re-Gift #4:
    Triangle of gifts this time…start with an ATM (gift box 1)…that’s 15 shoulder taps plus 10 Tempo Merkins plus 10 regular merkins). Sprint to station 2, where PAX performed Dollys x20 (gift box 2) before sprinting to station #3 to perform an Alphabet (gift box 3).  Repeato x2.

    Reverse run around school to pick up gift boxes and bricks, then back to flag.

    Number-rama, Name-a-Rama, and YHC took us out.

    Moleskin:
    This group starts strong.  YHC was solidly enthused by the positive response to the Slaughter Starter…the PAX jumped on it and didn’t look back.  Great job, men.

    For the day after Christmas, the PAX was heavily populated by travelers determined to remain on the ball over the holidays.  Great to see Water Wings from Raleigh and The Whittler from Boston.  Opus came all the way from Mechanicsville…he continues to get stronger each time out – nice work!

    Thanks also to the PAX for joining the impromptu 2nd F at Starbucks.  YHC’s belt buckles express their eternal gratitude to the PAX for consuming YHC’s Christmas candy (hidden in each gift box).  Re-gifting a couple thousand calories never felt better.

    It was a pleasure to lead you all this morning.  Looking forward to seeing you all in The Gloom.

    Announcements:

    • CSAUP Saturday Janurary 21st. 9 to 10 mile run with short AO in between. 3 to 4 hour with cook out afterwards. See Circle K and more Pre-blast for details
    • Trip to the Appalachian Trail on Dec 28th. Planning 18 to 20 miles, take about 5 hours. Meet at the Gum Spring exit on I64 (exit 159) at 6:30am. See LabRat or TYA for more details.

    Additional announcement:

  • A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Words

    7 faithful and bone chilled PAXs shook off the post-Thanksgiving doldrums to sally forth into the Gloom.  This is how it went down:

    Jog around school for warmth
    SSH’s x20
    Imperial walkers x20
    Don Quixote x10
    Arm circles x15 small + x10 larger (+ reverso)
    Invisible jump rope
    Back and forths (boxing exercise…if these become common, we’ll give these an F3 name)…bounce front foot to back foot, two slide steps forward, two backward, add the jab if you have it.  Piece of cake for the first 20 seconds, all bets are off thereafter.  Nice alternative to planking, especially in the cold.

    Mosey to the picnic benches for a Triple Ladder

    Incline Merkins (x20 down to x1)
    Box cutters (x20 to x1)
    LBCs (x20 to x1)

    Add light run from benches to sidewalk between Incline ‘Merkins and remaining exercises to keep blood temperature above freezing.

    Pax persisted from 20 reps down to 12…in the interest of variety, YHC called an audible and the PAX hoofed it to the blacktop for…

    …Wilt Chamberlin (100 of 4 exercises at each corner).  Split up into 4 reps of 25 with alternating arc loaders and sprints linking the corners (short side arc loaders, long side sprints).

    100 Rosalitas
    100 flutter kicks
    100 mountain climbers
    100 Freddie Mercuries

    Run back to flag to finish.  YHC felt the PAX desirous of a more “chesty” regimen, so the PAX closed with 5 ‘Mercans, even holding in the low position for 3 seconds on the last one.  YHC aims to leave it all out there.

    Number-Rama, Name-a-Rama (YHC humbly reminds himself to name himself), and YHC took us out.

    Moleskin

    The PAX shared multiple ways to RSVP to a workout.  Chum Bucket gave a hard commit after the Sunday Fun Run, but found a work conflict later in the day.  He graciously texted his regrets to YHC late Sunday, demonstrating his appreciation for the brotherhood that is F3.  Job well done.

    Rumor has it that Saab (Saab!!!) of all people “head faked” multiple PAX into attending.  “You guys going?”  “Yep, you bet.  How about you?”  “Uh, nope, just wanted to see if you were.”  Could be a rumor as it sounds very un-Saab-like.  But, given his dominating performance in the Sunday Fun Run, Saab deserves a day off.  Look for him tomorrow (YHC hereby RSVP’s “no” for Tuesday).

    Toga correctly noted that this was YHC’s sophomore (or is that sophomoric?) Q.  Nice memory.  When YHC joked about being lost and looking for The Carillon (conveniently not located at The Punisher), Toga immediately asked about the Dick Pics taken by one of YHC’s former colleagues.  YHC wondered silently about Toga’s word association.  Apparently, that’s a picture worth a 1,000 words.

    Nice to see Ronnie join the PAX again.  He’s becoming a Punisher regular, and with the Lock Jaw clown car, the PAX are demonstrating increased efficiency (and commitment).  4 cars for 5 Westham residents.  Call it a 20% carbon footprint reduction.  YHC complements the PAX on their environmental consciousness.

    Announcements

    T-shirts remain available on the website…Splinter noted that the W-Dog version comes at the bargain price of $6, perhaps subsidized by the corporate office, or perhaps an unintended Cyber Monday deal.

    Toga mentioned the desire (need, perhaps) for a 3rd F event in the near term.  YHC strongly supports ideas for an event that would benefit from some F3 effort.  All of us can be better men for the holidays and the New Year.

    Lastly, good luck to all the Bear Creek runners this weekend.  YHC will be there ready to police up anyone at the back of the pack.  Should be a good time.  Lock Jaw has committed to not committing…sounds like a PAX in need of a Head Lock.  Let’s get out there and earn those t-shirts.

  • Little Bears

    7 PAX gathered in the Monday morning Gloom to consummate what may (or may not) have been YHC’s Virgin Q.  Their presence both humbled and encouraged YHC through the process.  Alongside YHC’s VQ, the PAX quietly celebrated the 25 little bears who ended a 71-year baseball curse this weekend.  How better to celebrate the Cubs than Bear Crawls for all the PAX?  YHC fears he created a lot of Indians’ fans.

    Here’s how it went down:

    SSH’s x 19
    Don Quixotes x 08 (Abe Vegoda style)
    Imperial Walkers x 19
    LBCs X 25 (4 count)  (one for each players on the Cubs)
    Arm Circles 45 total
    (Forward x 18 small, x5 large)
    (Reverso x 17 small, x5 large)

    Mozey to picnic tables for…

    Bearmuda Triangle – 3 stations.  Each PAX bear crawls between stations.  Dips, ‘Mercans, Flutter Kicks (4 count).  Round 1 x10, Round 2 x 20, Round 3 x30.  Plank up between rounds.  Hold standard plank for 2 minutes.

    Mozey to brick wall for…

    Touch a Tree…

    Donkey Kicks (10)
    Invisible Chairs (8)
    Reverse Crunches (6)
    Burpees (4)
    Balls to the Wall (2)

    Mozey by way of Polar Bear Inch Worm to the front of the school…

    Conveyer Belt through parking lot…that’s exercise at each parking space and bear crawl to the next space…

    Monkey Humpers x5
    Box Cutters x5
    Flutter Kicks (4 Count) x5

    Mozey back to the flag…

    Number-Rama
    Name-a-Rama
    Announcements

    Honey-Do took us out.

    Mumble Chatter

    Not much audible mumble chatter today. YHC wonders whether he is not able to listen to a groaning PAX while simultaneously concentrating on the next exercise while simultaneously counting reps on the current exercise.  Perhaps, YHC is learning that leadership is a lonely profession.  Or, perhaps YHC’s wife is right, he can hear, but he just doesn’t listen.  Time will tell.

    That said, YHC appreciates Toga’s continued guidance on the proper numerical angle that should formed by YHC’s shoes, caboose, and melon when exhibiting the plank position.  Targeting x = 180 degrees….current form x <180 degrees.  YHC promises to do better.

    Finally, YHC would like to thank the PAX for helping YHC through his Q-ginity issues.  Cherry officially lost.

    Announcements

    Bear Creek coming up in December.  There was some disagreement between Chum Bucket and Chum Bucket on whether registration has closed.  YHC can confirm that as of today, the registration page still appears on Facebook.  Interested folks should test for themselves.

    Still need names for F3 Tidewater kick-off November 5.  Raleigh allegedly well-ahead of Richmond.   YHC hates falling behind RDU area in anything (hoops, football, F3 recruiting…).  Let’s dig deep and put some headlocks in place.  Send names to Johnsonville.

    Cubs in 6.  UpChuck out.

  • So Please, Love Me (Honey) Do

    Two PAXs sallied forth in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, for a Nomad-style beat down this morning. Honey Do joined YHC in the Gloom to celebrate the 54th Anniversary of the release of the Beatles “Love Me Do” to the United Kingdom pop charts.  YHC considered making the PAX repeat a single exercise ad nauseum (in line with the song), but took pity and decided variety is the spice of life for a VQ.  

    The PAX met on an otherwise nondescript, open Field of Critters (FoC) complete with requisite Grassy Knoll adjacent to our lodging.  Even before the first SSH was counted, Honey Do attempted to employ his footwear-as-bludgers to ward off the resident wildlife, including frogs, ducks, birds and, as far as Honey Do knows, several alligators. With the FoC-as-AO safe for human consumption, here’s how the thang went down…

    SSHs x 17 (the highest “Love Me Do” rose on the British charts)
    Don Quixotes x 10 (It’s October)
    Arm Circles (10 small + 5 large…hey, it’s 10/5).  Repeato reverso.
    LBCs x 16 (McCartney’s age when he wrote the song)

    The chatter picked up as YHC guided Honey Do through the Suburb-o-Office Plex that is Plantation.  PAX did their Daily Mile (30 days with at least 1 mile), dropping for 5 burpees per intersection (x7) on the outbound.  Turnaround point was YHC’s office, where Honey Do literally dropped to one knee in front of YHC’s window.  This prompted YHC to wonder,”Precisely what is the difference between uncontrolled genuflecting and a trip and fall?”  Recovering from a twisted ankle, Honey Do kept a stiff upper-lip as the PAX completed 10 squats per intersection on the return (x8).

    On the return trip, PAX detoured into the local parking garage for a trifecta of dips and box jumps (10 of each, 15 of each, 10 of each).  Thanks to DHL for providing a picnic table for our use.

    Returning to the Field of Critters, the PAX took to completing Four Corners, including 20 reps of mountain climbers (4 count), 20 LBCs (4 count), squats, and Freddy Mercuries.  Honey Do led the PAX on a bear-crawl across a deceptively long Grassy Knoll.  YHC takes his hat off to Honey Do’s continued domination of the bear crawl – get some!

    No Beat Down with YHC would be complete without a lesson in road safety, so the PAX took to the hotel parking lot to practice Road Sign Recognition.  Each “No Parking Fire Lane” was worth 1 burpee; each Stop Sign required 2 ‘Mercans.  Hard to believe we cashed in 7 burpees and 16 ‘mercans in less than 75 yards.  Safety first, I guess.

    The PAX finished with a short run back to the FoC for Number-rama and Name-o-Rama.  YHC took us out.

    To celebrate the VQ (and putting aside Honey Do’s better judgment), the PAX each popped the top on a (warm) black cherry soda.  Mmmmm…a great reminder that YHC has no love lost for black cherry soda.

    Final Note: Anyone who finds themselves in south Florida on a mid-week morning, chances are YHC will be there.  Happy to Nomad with any fellow travelers.