Author: Upchuck

  • Polos and Dockers

    Polos and Dockers

    6, maybe 7, depends how you count it, total studs stopped off on their way home to pick up chicken and work off some pounds in the latest edition of The Punisher. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the waitress at Dot’s Tavern, the following might have happened.

    COP

    SSHs, Hillbillies, Don Quixotes, Dead Man Hang.

    Run the loop, 1.25 laps.

    Line up at the parking signs. YHC felt inspired by Senor Frog. At each sign, we did 1-2-3. One burpee, 2 WWIIs, 3 merkins. Let’s call it 10 signs.

    Mosey over there for the Deck of Death. Here’s the catch: we didn’t have a deck of cards, which is a little bit of a challenge when playing Deck of Death. So, YHC just improvised and called cards of his choice.

    Diamonds: side straddle hops, or hop stride saddles
    Clubs: Monkey humpers
    Hearts: Squats
    Spades: Merkins

    This one will be back.

    Mosey BTTVSF. One round of the squat wave, dealer’s choice.

    Numbers, names, and The Handshake took us out.

    Announcements: Splintervals today.
    January 25, Fudd leading at The Bridge. Other Q’s, please announce this.

    NMS: Kubota and EF Hutton are sharp dressers for work.

  • Thanksgiving

    A bunch of PAX showed up for the 2024 edition of Thanksgiving. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to TYA, the following might have happened.

    From memory…

    …COP…pacing…SSHs…pacing…mumbling about Massachusetts…pacing…mumbling about Berkeley Plantation…some questioning of an unsuspecting PAX member (maybe Fudd?)…pacing…I can’t hear him…can you hear him?…pacing…guys wondering if anyone can hear him…WWIIs…pacing…mumbling…some discussion of rain…pacing…TYA’s got a really big parka…pacing…Pilgrims mentioned…say what you are thankful for…pacing…modern medicine…pacing…saved Kay, which is awesome…pacing…pacing…is that his real skin color?…pacing…he should get that checked…pacing…he has…pacing…doctor says that’s “natural”…pacing…merkins…pacing…let’s mosey…

    …back and forth to the picnic tables…elevens…watch for the sticks…pacing…parka…darkness…rain…pacing…

    …black top…triple check…pacing…Massachusetts…pacing…Virginia only held for one year…pacing…maybe 2 years…pacing…Massachusetts…Swirly’s getting anxious…pacing…did you know the Bruins won the Cup in 1623?…pacing…really? No way…Swirly ready to start running…pacing…as true as anything else said today…pacing…parka…pacing…rain…pacing…Swirly/anxious…pacing…more questions for Fudd…pacing…let’s start the triple check already…pacing…three things are…pacing…balls to the wall, WWIIs…run to the fence…pacing…Bernie Sanders back…pacing…ok, boys…pacing…let’s go…

    …mosey BTTVSF…No Idea who took us out (different guy)…pacing…

    Net outcome…Berkeley first, TYA pacing, upset that Massachusetts second,…real Thanksgiving started with Lincoln (yep, that Lincoln).

    NMS: TYA paces as fast with a parka as he does without a parka. And, he’s super thankful for Kay and modern medicine. Amen.

    Announcements (prospective, as of November): The Bridge on Saturday, November 30th (sets the record for F3RVA attendance!!!).

  • Broadwalk

    Broadwalk

    One pax rolled out of bed, down the hall, down the elevator, and onto the Broadwalk (yep, that’s what they are calling it) for the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures were 70 and sunny (+ perfect breeze). According to the 80+ ladies (age is just a number) walking at 5:00, the following might have happened.

    Northbound to the end. Reverso, southbound to the end of the lights. Reverso. BTTVSF. 40 minutes, so let’s call it 4.5. Watch didn’t make the trip.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS: superb morning to be outside. Florida has its privileges sometimes. Today was one of those sometimes.

    Announcements: last workout of 51. Tomorrow is 52.

  • Baccalaureate

    Baccalaureate

    Nineteen, nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh, nineteen, nineteen warriors of The Gloom stepped forth onto the frozen blacktop of Buckingham in the latest edition of The Bridge. Conditions remained steady at 70 and sunny. According to Mr. Yoder’s extended situational observation report, the following might have happened:

    07:29: pre-game introductions and re-introductions.

    07:30: Let’s mosey, or, as some do, mossy.

    07:31: COP

    Circle up. Disclaimer, mangled. Purpose, mangled. First exercise, SSHs, in cadence, full-throated, no mangling. X52, 4-count.

    Dead man hang. Fudd’s Wife. Right leg high. Left leg high. Wilson’s wife. Fudd’s wife. Pigeon right. Fudd’s wife. Pigeon left. (Don’t say it…don’t say it…ok, we did Fudd’s wife three times in the first 5 minutes. Had to say it.)

    LBCs x52 4-count. Someone has a birthday coming up. Flutter kicks, x20, 4-count. Reverse crunches / gas pumps, x10, 4 count. Rosalita’s, x 10, 4-count. Flip it over.

    HRM’s, x15. Stand up!

    Copperhead squats x10. Monkey humpers, x20.

    Let’s mossy, er, mosey. 1 lap.

    Touch-a-Tree. Rounds of 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10. Exercises were WWIIs, WWIs, squats, something else, and burpees. “Governor Bush, give me one word that describes your campaign at this point? Strategery.” IYKYK.

    In between rounds, karaoke right, karaoke left for the six / to stave off freezing.

    Let’s mosey. 1 lap.

    Triple Check, Bridge Style. The Bridge is a living construction site in places. Partner 1 did hello dolly. Partner 2 did decline merkins. Partner 3 bear crawled along the spine of the asphalt heap. As Paul Simon sang, “Slip sliding away. Slip sliiidin’ away-yeaah.” Push yourself, don’t hurt yourself.

    In the words of Chum Bucket (not present), “Let’s mosey over here.” If you can, partner up with someone from your region (Charlottesville, The Bridge, Amelia, and RVA). Line up along opposite sides of the rope. Tug-of-War. Us against Them. It’s Our Guys against Those Guys. Round 1: Our Guys. Round 2: Those Guys. Round 3: Those Guys. Final score: Those Guys 2, Our Guys 1. Bonds were built.

    Let’s mosey. 1 lap.

    Circle up. 52, 4-count SSHs, in The Cadence.

    Numbers, names, and OBT took us out with a reminder of what F3 has done for him and for each of us. “Your nickname is your passport” to a world of 100,000 friendships and supporters. Incredible what this group has done for each of us. Thank you, my friend.

    Thank you to Mr. Davis for making the best Folger’s coffee in a styrofoam cup that any human can make. Thank you to Mr. Yoder for literally allowing himself to freeze so the rest of us could exercise together.

    Announcements:

    The Bridge holds graduation tomorrow. May the wind be at the backs of each man who is moving forward on his journey. Keep us and hold us. Find your group, stick together, help each other along. As YHC’s favorite sign says, “Choose to Carry More.”

    NMS:

    Incredible group of men today at The Bridge. YHC was moved by the outpouring of support from F3 Charlottesville, F3 Amelia, and F3RVA. 14 men from those regions joined 5 from The Bridge to make 19 in total…incredible. YHC notes that we missed the record for The Bridge by 1 or 2. November 30 had 15 RVA guys; this week we had 14 from all supporting regions. Let no man say the PAX does not overwhelmingly support this AO. Not for nothing…unless Gridiron comes out of nowhere, and it might, this is the second time in 3 weeks the The Bridge is the biggest Saturday AO! Time to get on board, fellas!

    If you have not yet made it to The Bridge, or if you are looking to run it back, we’ll have another group coming out soon. Look on Slack for details. LG!

    Also, great to catch up for some home cooking, hot coffee, and Halloween 2025 tattoo ideas at The Cumberland, home to the World Famous Bologna Burger. It’s worth the stop.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • 12 Minutes to 6

    One dashing hee-man launched at 5 to get in 5 in the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the DHL workers “meeting at 6 in the lobby,” the following might have happened:

    Northbound, over Peters, parallel to University, left, north, then reverso at Broward, and BTTVSF. 5 or so.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out with a prayer for leaders who support their teams with actual actions. Actions speak loudly; words fill empty space.

    Announcements:

    Breaking Bread this weekend needs a Q. Check the sheet. 5:30 p.m. at Southside Medical Respite. Make dinner for about 8-12 people. This has been F3RVA’s overarching volunteer event for about 8 years. New guys…this is your opportunity to give of your time and effort to support folks who are struggling with a medical issue (and often with financial issues that have them on the streets). See Oyster for details.

    Convergence on Thanksgiving at 45MOM. Be there. 7:00 a.m. TYA has the lead to lead a satirical Q on the history of Thanksgiving.

    The Bridge…November 30…Heist and Hermes leading the charge. This is an F3RVA activity done in coordination with F3 Charlottesville. Workout starts at 7:30 a.m. These guys are transitioning from the criminal system to the free world. Let’s support them along their journey back to the right path. Usually leave about 6 a.m., return by 10:30.

    For that matter, December 14, The Bridge returns again. YHC and OBT heading west to lead the charge. Clown cars forming now.

    NMS: DHL has a ton of folks who stay in this hotel. Their plan, at least on the way up the elevator last evening at 9:00 p.m., was to “meet in the lobby at 6.” Apparently, DHL gets after it. 5:48 a.m. those same folks were rolling out the front door. I believe Gomer Pyle would say, “Get some!”

  • But, Sting. Or, buttsting? Or, busting?

    Seven of Richmond’s finest dodged road closures and detours to launch at the latest edition of The Dogpile. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to YHC’s longtime neighbor, the following might have happened:

    Mosey up, around, and through the park to the five pointed symbol in front of The Carillon for the COP.

    100 SSHs.
    Dead man hang
    Fudd’s Wife
    Right leg high, left leg high
    Wilson’s Wife
    Pigeon (right, then left)
    HRMs x10
    WWIs, cause it’s The Carillon
    LBCs

    Mosey 30 feet to surround the 5 pointed symbol for Not a Beast. 5 rounds. Each round has one exercise. 5 reps at each of 5 spots. Bottom of stairs, top of stairs, back of Carillon, top of other stairs, bottom of other stairs. Exercises were merkins, WWIIs, LBCs, squats, and 4-count flutter kicks. Bonus 6th round: still do 5 reps, but do all 5 exercises at each station.

    Mosey not at all. Touch a Tree. The name says the game. 3, 6, 9 trees. Touching the Carillon counts for 3 trees. Use the Carillon more than once (hey, all the rules are out the window anyway), if you want, but only if you ascend and descend the stairs in between.

    Mosey to Park Ave. Burpee Row. However, YHC likes to give people options – good options and bad options. Make your own choices. Each light post is 3 burpees. Each white parking post is 2 merkins. Either / or. Mix and match, if you wish.

    Mosey back to the starting point, then go 30 more feet. Touch a Tree, Part Deaux. 12 trees, but don’t touch any of the ones touched the first 3 rounds (ah, a little memory test).

    Mosey BTTSF. Two minutes of Mary. APDs and Rosalita’s.

    Numbers, names, and Mr. Rogers took us out.

    Announcements:

    Chili Will Be Cooked Off. November 24, afternoon. RounTrey, not “Round Tree.” Sign up. Make some excellent chili. And, engage in a contest. Push yourself, don’t burn yourself.

    Heist and Hermes will combine their skills at The Bridge on November 30 at 7:30 a.m. DM Heist to join the clown car. Nice to see F3 men taking on a challenge and running with it.

    Speaking of…December 14, OBT and YHC will head out to The Bridge. YHC has the Q. Curious about The Bridge and how you can help build character with your fellow men? Join us.

    NMS:

    YHC was pleased to see the string of BMWs (we can’t all have Rivians) in the pre-dawn moonlight at Dogpile today with some OG’s joining…HoneyDo and Splinter.

    Mumblechatter was strong today. Topics included HoneyDo’s camo shorts wardrobe, bond yields, deficits, W&M football tickets, scalping, creative destruction, and how putting intelligent, thinking humans in positions of responsibility matters. Interesting to see who people focused on and who they did not focus on. General agreement that character remains critical.

    Speaking of resiliency, getting to Libbie Market today was a chore. Over the river, through the woods just to avoid the street closures. Unclear whether Hitchhiker was ever able to get home. Word is there was a Florence sighting at Libbie and Grove where he was doing a combination of arm circles and helicopters. No confirmation that academy plebes are rewarded with bright pink reflective vests rather than bright yellow, which is reserved for full police.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Cold, Wet, and Sandy

    One intrepid PAX launched in the pre-dawn darkness for the latest edition of The Clinic, SoCal Edition. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the 4 people wrapping up their Sunday evening beach party early on Monday morning, the following might have happened:

    Mosey down the cliff trail to the beach circle for the COP.

    100 SSHs (in honor of The Carpenter and his family)
    Swirly’s DMH, walk it out, Fudd’s wife, Wilson’s Wife.
    10 IWs
    10 hand release merkins
    20 WWIIs
    10 LBC’s

    Mosey down the service road, avoid the two giggling late teens/early co-eds, followed shortly behind by two young men carrying a 1980s vintage boom box and some blankets. If you are planning an overnight party on a SoCal beach, this crew seemed to have done it well.

    One evolution today. Run about 30 kelp piles (it’s a measurement – you can look it up), which amounts to approximately 50 yards), stop, perform one of a set of exercises, and continue. 3.56 miles, round trip.

    Exercises were merkins, WWIIs, LBCs, squats, monkey humpers, flutter kicks, gas pumps, rosalitas, SSHs, and hello dollies, some in 10s, some in 20s, some in 50s.

    Run back up the hill, which is not long, but ticks above 10% grade.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS:

    For some guys, the BRR is the Super Bowl of workouts. For YHC, today is the Super Bowl. Soft sand, cool air (50), steady breeze, and the all important rush of water when a wave flows onto the wet sand. Water temp about 62 this morning. And, all done by 5:15. Cold, wet, and sandy. Nothing quite like it.

    Announcements:

    TYA has finally agreed that Thanksgiving was initiated in Virginia. If he changes his mind, presumably he’ll explain at the Thanksgiving workout.

    Keep your pals in mind. Reach out to folks you haven’t chatted with in a while.

    Let’s all keep The Carpenter, F3RVA distinguished alumnus, in mind as his family adjusts after his father’s passing. We are all with you, my friend.

    P.S. YHC concluded with a strength session at the gym, which apparently many hotels have “indoors.” YHC is fascinated by the 10 people working out inside when the world’s most beautiful gym is on the other side of the glass walls.

  • Is That the Dolphins Kicker?

    One man launched at 4:55 in the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures remained, as always, a steady 70 and sunny. According to the night watchman at The Broward Mall, the following might have happened.

    Run north around the office park, pass the DHL Battery Powered Super-Golfcart/Van, then across Peters, past the office, past the La Quinta, left, then left, the left, and then north to Broward Boulevard. Reverso back to the VSF. Not quite 5.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS: Pretty sure that dude leaving as YHC was entering the hotel was the Dolphins kicker. Or, maybe he is the back-up video guy. He’s somebody, and he’s not the head coach. YHC will ask him next time.

    Announcements: The Bridge, Saturday October 26th, but that has already passed, so we’ll just move on.

  • Santa Isn’t Real. Now, Stop Being So Emotional.

    6 of Tuckahoe’s finest dominated the morning on the latest edition of The Hoedown. Conditions remained 70 and sunny. According to a balling 3 year old girl and distraught 12 year old boy, the following might have happened.

    Mosey to the newly completed parking lot palace at 3rd Church.

    4 Principles. The 5th one is a surprise for later.

    COP – a relatively random set of exercises and stretches, unplanned, yet seemingly organized.

    We started, as we often do, with Side Straddle Hops. Then, Dead Man Hang, Fudd’s Wife, Wilson’s Wife (Recently, a burgeoning movement to become just “Rachel”), Pigeon Right, Pigeon Left, More Pigeon Right, Wait for Bodo’s, Hand Release Merkins, Inverted Scorpion Kicks, Regular Scorpion Kicks, Gas Pumps, and Flutter Kicks.

    Mosey along the newly widened walkway (very nice!) to the back of the church for 11’s, but a different kind of elevens.

    Bear crawl to the first parking space, do 1 burpee, lunge back to the starting point.
    Next round, bear crawl to the second space, 2 burpees, and lunge back.
    Escalate until reaching the 6th parking space and 6 burpees.
    Then, a short mosey (or, mossy, as you will) bro-code style around the parking lot.
    Continue escalating to 7, 8, 9, 10, and then 11 parking spaces, burpees, etc.

    At the end, couple of minutes of Mary (flutter kicks, Frederick Mercuries, and hello dolly). Then, 10 Carolina Dry Docks.

    Mosey BTTVSF.

    Numbers, names, and YHC took us out with a short prayer for Fudd’s sister in silen – what’s that Bodo’s?, her name?, yes, Mary – ok, anyone else? Let’s start again, one moment of prayer for Mary in silen – what’s that Bodo’s? What type of cancer? Now, I’m not 100% sure, but I think she has breast cancer that has spread – ok, now everyone, together, please, just one short moment of – wait for it – prayer in silence for Mary.

    Announcements:

    The Bridge, October 26. TYA has the Q. “I was lonely, and you visited me.” Remember their motto, “if there was a way in, there is a way out.”

    7 of the 8 micro-regions have a leader for The Bridge.

    NMS:

    Today was very emotional for everyone. Bodo’s, Garbage Plate’s daughter, Handshake’s son Tripp, UpChucks’ cousin’s son Benjamin James. Grant them all a sense of humor. Take from them any spirit for retribution.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Where’s Willmetta?

    Twenty, yeah, YHC said twenty, men of purpose scraped off the barnacles of the Fart Sack and cast off on the latest edition of the Run At Mary Munford. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the newspaper delivery people flashing their lights on Berkshire, the following might have happened.

    Everyone: Leave MM, then head east on Willmetta (Q forgets to turn on Willmetta) to Kingscrest Parkway. Right on Malvern, cross Cary.

    From that point, you are entering the Windsor Farm “loop,” which looks like a lightbulb, or the Millenium Falcon, or something else, on a map. Follow the loop, starting with Canterbury and circling around to Berkshire, then right on Cambridge. When you arrive at Canterbury, that’s one loop.

    4s do TWO full loops, then turn LEFT on Canterbury to Malvern to Kingscrest Parkway to Willmetta.

    6s do THREE full loops, then turn LEFT on Canterbury to Malvern to Kingscrest Parkway to Willmetta.

    5s do TWO full loops, then on the third loop, turn left on Commonwealth and back to Mary Munford.

    Numbers, names, (YHC forgets one guy), and Funny Car (from F3 Hampton Roads) took us out.

    Announcements:

    TYA will be leading The Bridge on October 26th along with Shakedown. Bootleg may be coming, or maybe Bootleg is just arriving. Anyway, YHC is glad to have Bootleg back. In an omage to Lab Rat, YHC apologizes for leaving Bootleg out.

    NMS: Solid morning for a run. Light mist, and always a pleasure to chat with Splinter. Congratulations to F3 Kotter and all around good guy Viral for winning an RVA Tech Award (apparently, “the” big award). Good on him.

    YHC sends up a little prayer for a colleague with a big heart and a huge mountain in front of him fighting pretty active cancer. Same goes for Fudd, his family, and especially his sister, Mary. We are all with you, my friend.

    UpChuck spits the bit.