Author: Upchuck

  • Baccalaureate

    Baccalaureate

    Nineteen, nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh, nineteen, nineteen warriors of The Gloom stepped forth onto the frozen blacktop of Buckingham in the latest edition of The Bridge. Conditions remained steady at 70 and sunny. According to Mr. Yoder’s extended situational observation report, the following might have happened:

    07:29: pre-game introductions and re-introductions.

    07:30: Let’s mosey, or, as some do, mossy.

    07:31: COP

    Circle up. Disclaimer, mangled. Purpose, mangled. First exercise, SSHs, in cadence, full-throated, no mangling. X52, 4-count.

    Dead man hang. Fudd’s Wife. Right leg high. Left leg high. Wilson’s wife. Fudd’s wife. Pigeon right. Fudd’s wife. Pigeon left. (Don’t say it…don’t say it…ok, we did Fudd’s wife three times in the first 5 minutes. Had to say it.)

    LBCs x52 4-count. Someone has a birthday coming up. Flutter kicks, x20, 4-count. Reverse crunches / gas pumps, x10, 4 count. Rosalita’s, x 10, 4-count. Flip it over.

    HRM’s, x15. Stand up!

    Copperhead squats x10. Monkey humpers, x20.

    Let’s mossy, er, mosey. 1 lap.

    Touch-a-Tree. Rounds of 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10. Exercises were WWIIs, WWIs, squats, something else, and burpees. “Governor Bush, give me one word that describes your campaign at this point? Strategery.” IYKYK.

    In between rounds, karaoke right, karaoke left for the six / to stave off freezing.

    Let’s mosey. 1 lap.

    Triple Check, Bridge Style. The Bridge is a living construction site in places. Partner 1 did hello dolly. Partner 2 did decline merkins. Partner 3 bear crawled along the spine of the asphalt heap. As Paul Simon sang, “Slip sliding away. Slip sliiidin’ away-yeaah.” Push yourself, don’t hurt yourself.

    In the words of Chum Bucket (not present), “Let’s mosey over here.” If you can, partner up with someone from your region (Charlottesville, The Bridge, Amelia, and RVA). Line up along opposite sides of the rope. Tug-of-War. Us against Them. It’s Our Guys against Those Guys. Round 1: Our Guys. Round 2: Those Guys. Round 3: Those Guys. Final score: Those Guys 2, Our Guys 1. Bonds were built.

    Let’s mosey. 1 lap.

    Circle up. 52, 4-count SSHs, in The Cadence.

    Numbers, names, and OBT took us out with a reminder of what F3 has done for him and for each of us. “Your nickname is your passport” to a world of 100,000 friendships and supporters. Incredible what this group has done for each of us. Thank you, my friend.

    Thank you to Mr. Davis for making the best Folger’s coffee in a styrofoam cup that any human can make. Thank you to Mr. Yoder for literally allowing himself to freeze so the rest of us could exercise together.

    Announcements:

    The Bridge holds graduation tomorrow. May the wind be at the backs of each man who is moving forward on his journey. Keep us and hold us. Find your group, stick together, help each other along. As YHC’s favorite sign says, “Choose to Carry More.”

    NMS:

    Incredible group of men today at The Bridge. YHC was moved by the outpouring of support from F3 Charlottesville, F3 Amelia, and F3RVA. 14 men from those regions joined 5 from The Bridge to make 19 in total…incredible. YHC notes that we missed the record for The Bridge by 1 or 2. November 30 had 15 RVA guys; this week we had 14 from all supporting regions. Let no man say the PAX does not overwhelmingly support this AO. Not for nothing…unless Gridiron comes out of nowhere, and it might, this is the second time in 3 weeks the The Bridge is the biggest Saturday AO! Time to get on board, fellas!

    If you have not yet made it to The Bridge, or if you are looking to run it back, we’ll have another group coming out soon. Look on Slack for details. LG!

    Also, great to catch up for some home cooking, hot coffee, and Halloween 2025 tattoo ideas at The Cumberland, home to the World Famous Bologna Burger. It’s worth the stop.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • 12 Minutes to 6

    One dashing hee-man launched at 5 to get in 5 in the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the DHL workers “meeting at 6 in the lobby,” the following might have happened:

    Northbound, over Peters, parallel to University, left, north, then reverso at Broward, and BTTVSF. 5 or so.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out with a prayer for leaders who support their teams with actual actions. Actions speak loudly; words fill empty space.

    Announcements:

    Breaking Bread this weekend needs a Q. Check the sheet. 5:30 p.m. at Southside Medical Respite. Make dinner for about 8-12 people. This has been F3RVA’s overarching volunteer event for about 8 years. New guys…this is your opportunity to give of your time and effort to support folks who are struggling with a medical issue (and often with financial issues that have them on the streets). See Oyster for details.

    Convergence on Thanksgiving at 45MOM. Be there. 7:00 a.m. TYA has the lead to lead a satirical Q on the history of Thanksgiving.

    The Bridge…November 30…Heist and Hermes leading the charge. This is an F3RVA activity done in coordination with F3 Charlottesville. Workout starts at 7:30 a.m. These guys are transitioning from the criminal system to the free world. Let’s support them along their journey back to the right path. Usually leave about 6 a.m., return by 10:30.

    For that matter, December 14, The Bridge returns again. YHC and OBT heading west to lead the charge. Clown cars forming now.

    NMS: DHL has a ton of folks who stay in this hotel. Their plan, at least on the way up the elevator last evening at 9:00 p.m., was to “meet in the lobby at 6.” Apparently, DHL gets after it. 5:48 a.m. those same folks were rolling out the front door. I believe Gomer Pyle would say, “Get some!”

  • But, Sting. Or, buttsting? Or, busting?

    Seven of Richmond’s finest dodged road closures and detours to launch at the latest edition of The Dogpile. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to YHC’s longtime neighbor, the following might have happened:

    Mosey up, around, and through the park to the five pointed symbol in front of The Carillon for the COP.

    100 SSHs.
    Dead man hang
    Fudd’s Wife
    Right leg high, left leg high
    Wilson’s Wife
    Pigeon (right, then left)
    HRMs x10
    WWIs, cause it’s The Carillon
    LBCs

    Mosey 30 feet to surround the 5 pointed symbol for Not a Beast. 5 rounds. Each round has one exercise. 5 reps at each of 5 spots. Bottom of stairs, top of stairs, back of Carillon, top of other stairs, bottom of other stairs. Exercises were merkins, WWIIs, LBCs, squats, and 4-count flutter kicks. Bonus 6th round: still do 5 reps, but do all 5 exercises at each station.

    Mosey not at all. Touch a Tree. The name says the game. 3, 6, 9 trees. Touching the Carillon counts for 3 trees. Use the Carillon more than once (hey, all the rules are out the window anyway), if you want, but only if you ascend and descend the stairs in between.

    Mosey to Park Ave. Burpee Row. However, YHC likes to give people options – good options and bad options. Make your own choices. Each light post is 3 burpees. Each white parking post is 2 merkins. Either / or. Mix and match, if you wish.

    Mosey back to the starting point, then go 30 more feet. Touch a Tree, Part Deaux. 12 trees, but don’t touch any of the ones touched the first 3 rounds (ah, a little memory test).

    Mosey BTTSF. Two minutes of Mary. APDs and Rosalita’s.

    Numbers, names, and Mr. Rogers took us out.

    Announcements:

    Chili Will Be Cooked Off. November 24, afternoon. RounTrey, not “Round Tree.” Sign up. Make some excellent chili. And, engage in a contest. Push yourself, don’t burn yourself.

    Heist and Hermes will combine their skills at The Bridge on November 30 at 7:30 a.m. DM Heist to join the clown car. Nice to see F3 men taking on a challenge and running with it.

    Speaking of…December 14, OBT and YHC will head out to The Bridge. YHC has the Q. Curious about The Bridge and how you can help build character with your fellow men? Join us.

    NMS:

    YHC was pleased to see the string of BMWs (we can’t all have Rivians) in the pre-dawn moonlight at Dogpile today with some OG’s joining…HoneyDo and Splinter.

    Mumblechatter was strong today. Topics included HoneyDo’s camo shorts wardrobe, bond yields, deficits, W&M football tickets, scalping, creative destruction, and how putting intelligent, thinking humans in positions of responsibility matters. Interesting to see who people focused on and who they did not focus on. General agreement that character remains critical.

    Speaking of resiliency, getting to Libbie Market today was a chore. Over the river, through the woods just to avoid the street closures. Unclear whether Hitchhiker was ever able to get home. Word is there was a Florence sighting at Libbie and Grove where he was doing a combination of arm circles and helicopters. No confirmation that academy plebes are rewarded with bright pink reflective vests rather than bright yellow, which is reserved for full police.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Cold, Wet, and Sandy

    One intrepid PAX launched in the pre-dawn darkness for the latest edition of The Clinic, SoCal Edition. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the 4 people wrapping up their Sunday evening beach party early on Monday morning, the following might have happened:

    Mosey down the cliff trail to the beach circle for the COP.

    100 SSHs (in honor of The Carpenter and his family)
    Swirly’s DMH, walk it out, Fudd’s wife, Wilson’s Wife.
    10 IWs
    10 hand release merkins
    20 WWIIs
    10 LBC’s

    Mosey down the service road, avoid the two giggling late teens/early co-eds, followed shortly behind by two young men carrying a 1980s vintage boom box and some blankets. If you are planning an overnight party on a SoCal beach, this crew seemed to have done it well.

    One evolution today. Run about 30 kelp piles (it’s a measurement – you can look it up), which amounts to approximately 50 yards), stop, perform one of a set of exercises, and continue. 3.56 miles, round trip.

    Exercises were merkins, WWIIs, LBCs, squats, monkey humpers, flutter kicks, gas pumps, rosalitas, SSHs, and hello dollies, some in 10s, some in 20s, some in 50s.

    Run back up the hill, which is not long, but ticks above 10% grade.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS:

    For some guys, the BRR is the Super Bowl of workouts. For YHC, today is the Super Bowl. Soft sand, cool air (50), steady breeze, and the all important rush of water when a wave flows onto the wet sand. Water temp about 62 this morning. And, all done by 5:15. Cold, wet, and sandy. Nothing quite like it.

    Announcements:

    TYA has finally agreed that Thanksgiving was initiated in Virginia. If he changes his mind, presumably he’ll explain at the Thanksgiving workout.

    Keep your pals in mind. Reach out to folks you haven’t chatted with in a while.

    Let’s all keep The Carpenter, F3RVA distinguished alumnus, in mind as his family adjusts after his father’s passing. We are all with you, my friend.

    P.S. YHC concluded with a strength session at the gym, which apparently many hotels have “indoors.” YHC is fascinated by the 10 people working out inside when the world’s most beautiful gym is on the other side of the glass walls.

  • Is That the Dolphins Kicker?

    One man launched at 4:55 in the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures remained, as always, a steady 70 and sunny. According to the night watchman at The Broward Mall, the following might have happened.

    Run north around the office park, pass the DHL Battery Powered Super-Golfcart/Van, then across Peters, past the office, past the La Quinta, left, then left, the left, and then north to Broward Boulevard. Reverso back to the VSF. Not quite 5.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS: Pretty sure that dude leaving as YHC was entering the hotel was the Dolphins kicker. Or, maybe he is the back-up video guy. He’s somebody, and he’s not the head coach. YHC will ask him next time.

    Announcements: The Bridge, Saturday October 26th, but that has already passed, so we’ll just move on.

  • Santa Isn’t Real. Now, Stop Being So Emotional.

    6 of Tuckahoe’s finest dominated the morning on the latest edition of The Hoedown. Conditions remained 70 and sunny. According to a balling 3 year old girl and distraught 12 year old boy, the following might have happened.

    Mosey to the newly completed parking lot palace at 3rd Church.

    4 Principles. The 5th one is a surprise for later.

    COP – a relatively random set of exercises and stretches, unplanned, yet seemingly organized.

    We started, as we often do, with Side Straddle Hops. Then, Dead Man Hang, Fudd’s Wife, Wilson’s Wife (Recently, a burgeoning movement to become just “Rachel”), Pigeon Right, Pigeon Left, More Pigeon Right, Wait for Bodo’s, Hand Release Merkins, Inverted Scorpion Kicks, Regular Scorpion Kicks, Gas Pumps, and Flutter Kicks.

    Mosey along the newly widened walkway (very nice!) to the back of the church for 11’s, but a different kind of elevens.

    Bear crawl to the first parking space, do 1 burpee, lunge back to the starting point.
    Next round, bear crawl to the second space, 2 burpees, and lunge back.
    Escalate until reaching the 6th parking space and 6 burpees.
    Then, a short mosey (or, mossy, as you will) bro-code style around the parking lot.
    Continue escalating to 7, 8, 9, 10, and then 11 parking spaces, burpees, etc.

    At the end, couple of minutes of Mary (flutter kicks, Frederick Mercuries, and hello dolly). Then, 10 Carolina Dry Docks.

    Mosey BTTVSF.

    Numbers, names, and YHC took us out with a short prayer for Fudd’s sister in silen – what’s that Bodo’s?, her name?, yes, Mary – ok, anyone else? Let’s start again, one moment of prayer for Mary in silen – what’s that Bodo’s? What type of cancer? Now, I’m not 100% sure, but I think she has breast cancer that has spread – ok, now everyone, together, please, just one short moment of – wait for it – prayer in silence for Mary.

    Announcements:

    The Bridge, October 26. TYA has the Q. “I was lonely, and you visited me.” Remember their motto, “if there was a way in, there is a way out.”

    7 of the 8 micro-regions have a leader for The Bridge.

    NMS:

    Today was very emotional for everyone. Bodo’s, Garbage Plate’s daughter, Handshake’s son Tripp, UpChucks’ cousin’s son Benjamin James. Grant them all a sense of humor. Take from them any spirit for retribution.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Where’s Willmetta?

    Twenty, yeah, YHC said twenty, men of purpose scraped off the barnacles of the Fart Sack and cast off on the latest edition of the Run At Mary Munford. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the newspaper delivery people flashing their lights on Berkshire, the following might have happened.

    Everyone: Leave MM, then head east on Willmetta (Q forgets to turn on Willmetta) to Kingscrest Parkway. Right on Malvern, cross Cary.

    From that point, you are entering the Windsor Farm “loop,” which looks like a lightbulb, or the Millenium Falcon, or something else, on a map. Follow the loop, starting with Canterbury and circling around to Berkshire, then right on Cambridge. When you arrive at Canterbury, that’s one loop.

    4s do TWO full loops, then turn LEFT on Canterbury to Malvern to Kingscrest Parkway to Willmetta.

    6s do THREE full loops, then turn LEFT on Canterbury to Malvern to Kingscrest Parkway to Willmetta.

    5s do TWO full loops, then on the third loop, turn left on Commonwealth and back to Mary Munford.

    Numbers, names, (YHC forgets one guy), and Funny Car (from F3 Hampton Roads) took us out.

    Announcements:

    TYA will be leading The Bridge on October 26th along with Shakedown. Bootleg may be coming, or maybe Bootleg is just arriving. Anyway, YHC is glad to have Bootleg back. In an omage to Lab Rat, YHC apologizes for leaving Bootleg out.

    NMS: Solid morning for a run. Light mist, and always a pleasure to chat with Splinter. Congratulations to F3 Kotter and all around good guy Viral for winning an RVA Tech Award (apparently, “the” big award). Good on him.

    YHC sends up a little prayer for a colleague with a big heart and a huge mountain in front of him fighting pretty active cancer. Same goes for Fudd, his family, and especially his sister, Mary. We are all with you, my friend.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Apple Doesn’t Do It Justice

    One guy had the pleasure of setting off on the latest edition of The Clinic along the fine shores of the Pacific Ocean. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the workman continuously chasing YHC with a modified golf cart, the following might have happened.

    Quick run across the parking lot to the massive hill. Starting at the top.

    100 SSHs (4 count)
    IWs – 20
    Dead Man Hang
    Fudd’s Wife
    Wilson’s Wife
    Dead Man Hang
    20 merkins
    LBCs -20
    WWIIs – 10
    Pencil Roll (to get out of the way of the cart)
    Freddie Mercury – 20

    Traveling COT down the hill, stopping at each light, spaced roughly 30 feet apart.

    Exercises were:
    Merkins – x20
    HRMs- x15
    Squats – x10
    WWIIs – x10
    Flutters kicks – x20
    Reverse crunches – x15

    Probably some variations thrown in. Extended number of reps based on the number and appearance of ladies walking to the gym.

    Rough number of lights – 30.

    Hill length is approximately 2/5 of a mile. Run the hill 5 times.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    Announcements – none. YHC already knows each announcement YHC would make.

    NMS: Wow. Full moon. Palm trees. No humidity. Overlooking the ocean. Great day to be alive and working out.

  • Sunday Fun-No-It-Was-An-Awful-Run

    Six guys in groups of 1, or 5, or 1, set forth only to come back as groups of 1, 4, 1, and 2. Even if the math does work, these guys did. Temperatures held steady at 70 and sunny. According to the 3 people dudes running faster than YHC on the opposing loop, the following might have happened.

    North bank, some did the flood wall, then south bank (Buttermilk), then home. Others did T-Pottersfield. At least one did Belle Isle. That guy ran terribly, but completed the loop. 6.5 or so.

    Numbers, names, and everyone took off for coffee.

    Announcements:

    10 Year is on Saturday. Who remembers what they were doing when F3RVA was founded?

    NMS: YHC has been buzzing all over lately. BRR, some overseas travel, and then the wall might have hit temporarily Sunday morning. Weather was great. Company was great. YHC’s legs just didn’t want to do it. No matter – find a horse, and get back on it. Push yourself, don’t hurt yourself.

  • Make an Impact at The Bridge

    Make an Impact at The Bridge

    This post is about two things:

    Men who make an impact.

    Men who take the lead, not for themselves, but on behalf of others.

    If either of those topics interests you, read on.

    The Bridge is a ministry-driven school in Buckingham, Virginia, about an hour or so west of Richmond. There, men who are transitioning from being incarcerated to being free (again) spend about a year learning a variety of trades (e.g., welding, HVAC, carpentry, mechanical skills, and so forth) so that, when they are released, they have sufficient skills and structure to be (we hope) independent, well-functioning members of our society. Succeeding with one guy is a win. In short, this is a step on a second chance at life. The men are all selected by the judicial system based on their behavior while in prison. They are challenged – many have drug, alcohol, or other addictions. If these men do not adhere to the standards, they are sent back to prison to complete their sentence. In short, it’s not a guarantee, and it’s not a cake walk. In any case, if you believe in St. Jude (the patron Saint of Lost Causes) or the story of St. Dismas, perhaps that’s enough inspiration for you to give a few hours of your time and energy to support these men on the occasional Saturday morning. Or, if you are looking to meet other F3 men and enjoy the Second F of the drive out and back, hop in the Clown Car and make an impact. I believe you will learn from this experience, and I believe you will help others grow as well.

    Our F3 brothers in Charlottesville manage this effort. F3RVA takes on a fraction of the commitment. Back in the day, we used to claim 12 Q’s a year (one per month). That was a challenge for one person to organize. So, we have changed it up. We now have 7 volunteer leaders, that’s 7 of your F3RVA brothers (ahem, F3RVA and F3Amelia), who have committed to leading (or organizing other men to lead) 2 times per year each. That’s 14 Saturdays. Quite an impact.

    In addition, if you would like to join this group of Leaders and share the challenge of Leadership, there are 52 weeks in a year. Plenty of good places still available. The more, the merrier. We can always do more.

    Here’s our list of Leaders. Everyone of them has my respect.

    State Farm: Goyne Park / Chester
    Heist: Alamo / Western Chesterfield
    Whitesnake: Gridiron / Strange’s Nursery
    Hardywood: Amelia / Jetersville / Appomattox
    Corned Beef: DaVille
    The Yankee Aggressor: City Proper
    UpChuck: Westhoe / Tuckahoe / Who You Calling a Hoe?

    As I noted previously, there are holes to fill on the map. It would be awesome to have a Leader pick up the challenge on behalf of the Stratford Hills / Midlo area. You have an entire region behind you.

    This weekend, we launch. Saturday, August 31, State Farm has the Q, and Broadway is riding shotgun. Two studs taking on this opportunity (even while they are building The Iron Bridge!). YHC sees your impact, and it’s impressive. Thank you. Nice work.

    On September 14, we have another Leader ready to grab the mantle and make an impact. Heist will be leading the crew. Thank you, as well. And, thank you to the guys planning to join him.

    To everyone else, your nano / local Leader (the guys listed above) will be organizing a small team two times per year. Jump in the car and go. For those who work out on Saturdays, this takes about an hour longer than your normal Saturday morning commitment, with a usual return by 10:30 or so. You are guaranteed to make an impact, learn about yourself, and have the worst cup of coffee (styrofoam cup, super weak coffee, all free of charge!) in support of a great cause.

    Oh, and a few guys have asked me about going to a place surrounded by a fence. If you have not been to a prison, detention facility, jail, halfway house, glamour slammer, or similar, this is not GITMO or Folsom. No shackles, no iron bars, no razor wire, no gangs, no prison guards, and no jump suits. This is a farm with a rail fence. The guys often workout in jeans (we bring them workout clothes and F3 shirts). There are one or two guys with radios. These guys look forward to seeing you. They love this, and they put out the effort to make it a success.

    YHC thanks you in advance for your time, energy, and impact.

    Let’s do this!