Eighteen volunteers for the Human Fund (money for people), met in the back of Godwin for a kettlebell workout. After setting up the the pole that requires no decoration (I find tinsel distracting) we did some warmups.
After that we did the airing of grievances. We went around the circle to do 20 reps of whatever exercise each pax declared they did not appreciate. I got a lot of problems with this exercise and now you’re gonna hear about it! We did some terrible ones including waiter carry squats, teapots, WWIII’s that involved a sit and press and a regular press, some weird double squat thing, kettle bell swings where you stopped and then did it again, pull throughs, and death crawls. It was chaos. 16 exercises with 20 reps, one run around the loop and a waiter carry walk later, the grievances were complete.
So far this new holiday was scratching me right where I itch!
Partner up for some odds and evens. Explaining this was tough last year but I was prepared for the tinsel-like questions this go around. I did a quick tutorial, yelled my displeasure, and then ignored the mumble chatter. Some people learned how to count up to 4 for the first time, some were still confused, but most understood how to do it. Best 2 out of 3: losers ran the parking lot and did 5 burpees, winners did curls. Three rounds.
Now it was time for the feats of strength. We split into two groups based on who was odds and who was evens from the prior exercise. Odds went first: duckwalk on the grass area with hands behind the back. Goal: knock over your opponent or push them out of bounds, you fall down or go out of bounds and you are out. Round one winner: Handshake. Evens were up and Pinto outlasted the rest of the pax. Handshake vs Pinto for the championship and before the rest of the pax could circle them, Handshake was down. Handshake ended up crying. Pinto is this year’s winner! I made a donation to the Human Fund in his name. He even got a certificate as proof!
It was time for a little Mary, numbers and names. Then coffee with some chocolate Babka as our meal.
The last and most important part of Festivus is observing a Festivus miracle and we had one this morning. We never had a moment where Attila’s gas caused the circle to break up! Festivus cured Attila’s stinky anus for one morning. It’s a Festivus miracle!!!
Thanks for letting me lead. I hope you found my belief system fascinating.