Author: Whitesnake

  • Counting Deep

    Five pax came to either sled or workout. After some changing of shoes, the workout started. We went to the lady pavilion for some warmups and then moseyed to the poles and door #13. We did a routine of 13 pole smokers, then moseyed to door #14 for 14 merkins, then to the lady pavilion for 15 dips (yes, Attila, there are benches there) and to the last door on the cleared sidewalk for 16 two count balls to wall toe taps. We then went back and did 15, 14 and finished at 13. Then we did it again.

    We then hit the bus loop and the nine light shuffle with 15 jump squats and 30 single count mountain climbers at each light.

    Then we did another round of 13/14/15/16/15/14/13.

    Finished with ten minutes of Mary which included reverse crunches, dollies, rosalitas, flutters, HRM, shoulder taps, 5 burpees and some stretching.

    Sledding sounds like fun but my scout determined that would not be a good idea. But Tater did look cool in snow pants.

  • Circle the Wally’s

    Seven brave souls and a lean looking Wally went hunting for Huntwick. Similar to being cuckoo for Cocoa puffs.

    We first needed to hit the ATM so we went to Wells Fargo and did some warmups.

    We then went down Park Terrace and took the second left into the Huntwick neighborhood. We split into two groups for some triple checks. Each group went a different direction to run a different circle. First triple check was merkins and WW2, timer ran the circle. Groups then switched sides and we got a little more than 2/3’s of the way through a another triple check of jump squats and flutters.

    Time to head home. Actually, left two minutes late. Got 2.8 miles in. Seems like all we did was run but somehow ended up a bit short. Too many warmup exercises? I will do better next time. No one circles the Wally’s like the WTH crew.

    Get to the Bridge this weekend before the snow comes and ruins everything! Pigskin is leading so reach out to him.

    Frozen Triangle on Feb 7th may be the next time you can leave your house after this storm so plan on being there!

    Gumbo leading Circus tomorrow. Coffee and Gumbo always a great combination. Hope to see you there!

  • The Nine-Pole Shuffle

    Six warriors made it out to the Deep for some pole work. They were looked at, touched and counted. Want to learn more?<

    We started with a well protected warmup of squats, DQ, Ukrainian Soldiers, Arm Circles, Helicopters, Flutters, Freddie’s and Merkins. We then moseyed to the bus loop for a Nine-Pole Shuffle.

    Run the circle and at each of the nine lights do 20 squats and 10 merkins. Run another lap to count the lights. Do another shuffle the other direction with 30 LBCs and 15 2-count hammers at each light. For you English majors, that is 180 squats, 90 merkins, 270 LBCs and 135 2-count hammers.

    Organize for a triple check of poll smokers, jump squats and run to the second light for the timer, 2nd round run to the third light and then for the final round, run a lap.

    Do it again with a different group and sticking with the second light for the timer for all 3 rounds. Exercises are merkins and HRM.

    Mosey back to the cones for a dead man hang, some cherry pickers and shoulder taps.

    The Deep was pretty this morning but I was a nice Q and kept us dry. Attila broke his 22 week streak. Flo is now in charge with 6. Fitting that someone named at the Deep has the streak.

    The Bridge is this weekend with Pigskin. Please join him!

    Frozen Triangle is the 7th. If it rains, Upchuck will hold an umbrella for you.

    Have a great week everyone!

  • This is Gridiron

    Time to get back to the gridiron this week and make sure we aren’t getting too used to the soft playground or dry turf fields.

    After a brief parking lot warmup of mostly SSH until we almost got run over, we hit the football field and stayed until the end.

    Started with some more warmups in a circle and then we continued with a warmup of a ten yards bear crawl, ten yards broad jumps, ten of high knees, ten of butt kickers and then we ran the rest of the way.

    From the other end zone, we did a burpee ladder. Ran ten yards and back and did ten burpees, then to the twenty and back and nine burpees, and so on. We stayed together and ended with 55 burpees and 1100 yards of running.

    From the nearest corner we started a full field four corners: ten merkins, twenty hand release, 30 heals to heaven and 40 SSH. The first time we stayed together. We did it one more time and everyone was on their own and would finish with SSH until the six joined.

    We then went to the midfield sideline for a triple check. Timer ran from sideline to sideline and did 5 burpees, partners did jump squats or WWIIs.

    With ten minutes left, we did a quarter pounder of merkins (25), squats (50), single count mountain climbers (75) and SSH (100). Run to the yardline of the count, do the exercise, bernie back each time.

    Circled up for little Mary of LBCs, Hammers and reverse crunches. And then ended with five more burpees. The pax jumped for joy when they heard that.

    Lots of SSH since Gomer and Blue Moon were out. We did 75 burpees and covered about 2 miles too.

    Great seeing Rosie come up North and to see Banjo at his first Saturday workout. Prayers for Gomer and his team in Honduras & prayers for the Bond family.

    Go the Bridge next week with Pigskin. The more the merrier.

    And I’ve made up mind, I ain’t wasting no more time.

  • Where is Upchuck?

    I am outside a hotel in Florida and he is not here. I run up and down Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd and can’t find him. I also have some older lady stop me and ask “you look like someone who reads books about WWII history”.

    Is that an insult or a pickup line? And just like Las Vegas in the good old days, she hands me a card. But this time it hypes up her book “The Navigators Letter” and not a strip club. Preorders available now as jancressdondi.com. I am able to navigate back to the hotel and will head back to RVA tonight.

  • Squig Games

    Nine runners partied on Raintree, ran around a lake at least once, did some squiggly lines, came back on Falconbridge and then headed back to Godwin. Most of it uphill.

    I got 4.9 miles in and everyone did 4+. And the best part is that we will do this again later this year with better instructions. No ruckers this week so nothing to report there..

    Lunch next Tuesday at Joeys, noon.

    The Bridge on 1/24 with Pigskin leading. Reach out to him to coordinate or get more details.

    Hutton heard “Here I Go Again” on the radio on the way to coffee. Everyone needs more Whitesnake in their life!

  • Eleven

    No, not the one married to Bon Jovi’s kid. We had eleven at WTH to celebrate the end of 2025. According to the people waiting at the closed Dunkin Donuts and the one guy by himself at the Lauderdale Starbucks, this is what we accomplished:

    Nine went for the traditional WTH and two did some kettlebell. The two lifted them up and down a lot. They also had about 5 kettlebells per person. I did not see the kettlebell juggling exercise.

    The nine runners went to the upside down and did one of my normal routines backwards. We started with a warm up run to the Roger Roger pad. There we did some DQs, Ukrainian Soldiers, Helicopters, Arm Circles, Flutters and Hammers. We then looked back on 2025 by going to the Nissan dealership first for some white car burpees (5) and red car jump squats (25). We stopped at the flag after 35 burpees and 75 jump squats. For the second half of the lot we did red car 25 jump squats (4 times) and blue car 25 LBCs (3 times).

    We then continued on our reverse path and went to the SPES drop off/pick up loop for a triple check. Timer ran the loop, partners did prisoner get ups and Irish hammers. No one got chased by a demogorgon.

    We then headed to Wally’s park. The cold and maybe the holidays helped keep the piss and shit smell down–thanks Wally! We went to the water park and circled up for some Copperhead Squats in cadence and then some plank stretching via right hand to right foot and then right hand to the sky, flapjack and then repeat.

    A route around the path (construction work is done!) took us to the pavilion for 20 step ups (each leg) and then WW2 in cadence (26 total). From there, we headed back to Hawkins.

    I only had 2.3 miles on my watch but you can’t trust GPS in a wormhole. Also cannot trust which Starbucks the group goes to since one is 1.3 miles away and another is 4.2 miles away. You take a guess which one everyone but me went to…

    Convergence tomorrow at 7. Also Circus will be open at 5:30 for a double dip or double fart sack.

    Happy New Year!

  • Aiming a fart

    Atilla told his doctor that he can’t stop passing wind, but happily, they are silent and don’t smell. He mentioned that he has farted twice since being in the office, and the doctor didn’t even notice. The doctor gives him pills and asks him to return next week. The following week, Attila returned and tells the doctor that his pills have made his silent farts stink. The doctor replies, “Good, we fixed your sinuses. Now let’s work on your hearing!“

    There was a lot of wind at the Deep–one that kept the flag flapping, and one that kept Attila’s ass cheeks flapping. A morning of only abs and legs helped one of those.

    We started with some warmups of copperheads, DQ, Ukrainian Solders, Helicopters, LBCs and some other ab exercises.

    We then headed to the bus loop for a Dora. Seven total pax had be adlibbing a bit and confusing the pax. We stayed together to do an individual Dora. We lunged to the next light pole and then at the pole did 25 Squats and 50 LBCs. After seven lights we did something like 100 double count lunges, 150 Squats and 350 LBCs.

    Staying at the bus loop, six of us did an indigenous people run while Gomer crossed the grass to the other side. When the runners got to Gomer, the back of the line called out an ab exercise and we did 25 (with Gomer). Then the group continued around the loop (with a change of direction at some point) and Gomer crossed to the other side and repeat. Over a couple laps we did 25 WW2, Irish Hammers, Pole Smokers, V ups, Side Crunches, APDs & Penguins. We then forward lunged to the next poll and headed to the flag.

    With 5+minutes left we did a jump squat ladder 10,9,8,7,6,7,8,9,10 and then from our six did Freddie’s, American Hammers and held our feet at 6 inches for 30 seconds.

    We all left with tight abs, tight quads and wet asses. 1 mile in total distance.

    Convergence on Jan 1, 2026, 7AM, Dogpile. Heartbreak needs a Q tomorrow–who wants it!

  • We had a Festivus miracle!

    Eighteen volunteers for the Human Fund (money for people), met in the back of Godwin for a kettlebell workout. After setting up the the pole that requires no decoration (I find tinsel distracting) we did some warmups.

    After that we did the airing of grievances. We went around the circle to do 20 reps of whatever exercise each pax declared they did not appreciate. I got a lot of problems with this exercise and now you’re gonna hear about it! We did some terrible ones including waiter carry squats, teapots, WWIII’s that involved a sit and press and a regular press, some weird double squat thing, kettle bell swings where you stopped and then did it again, pull throughs, and death crawls. It was chaos. 16 exercises with 20 reps, one run around the loop and a waiter carry walk later, the grievances were complete.

    So far this new holiday was scratching me right where I itch!

    Partner up for some odds and evens. Explaining this was tough last year but I was prepared for the tinsel-like questions this go around. I did a quick tutorial, yelled my displeasure, and then ignored the mumble chatter. Some people learned how to count up to 4 for the first time, some were still confused, but most understood how to do it. Best 2 out of 3: losers ran the parking lot and did 5 burpees, winners did curls. Three rounds.

    Now it was time for the feats of strength. We split into two groups based on who was odds and who was evens from the prior exercise. Odds went first: duckwalk on the grass area with hands behind the back. Goal: knock over your opponent or push them out of bounds, you fall down or go out of bounds and you are out. Round one winner: Handshake. Evens were up and Pinto outlasted the rest of the pax. Handshake vs Pinto for the championship and before the rest of the pax could circle them, Handshake was down. Handshake ended up crying. Pinto is this year’s winner! I made a donation to the Human Fund in his name. He even got a certificate as proof!

    It was time for a little Mary, numbers and names. Then coffee with some chocolate Babka as our meal.

    The last and most important part of Festivus is observing a Festivus miracle and we had one this morning. We never had a moment where Attila’s gas caused the circle to break up! Festivus cured Attila’s stinky anus for one morning. It’s a Festivus miracle!!!

    Thanks for letting me lead. I hope you found my belief system fascinating.

  • Welcome to the party, pal!

    Twenty one heroes came to Nakatomi Plaza for a Christmas party but they also had time to defeat the terrorists, climb 35 +1 floors, answer Die Hard trivia and practice one-liners.

    As we moseyed from the parking lot to the football field goal posts for a warmup, guests started to see the Christmas lights and got excited. We then did roughly ten minutes of warmups and went to the Plaza. It is under construction, just like in the movies, and we had to hop over a waist level/Fudd’s nutsack height fence. We met at the top of the first floor for instuctions.

    As I told the pax, if you are what I think you are, then you’ll know when to shut up, when to listen, and when to pray. We started with nine up and downs to get to the tenth floor. Then did another ten floors with increasing merkins starting at 1 (all the way to ten). Twenty floors up, we did some Die Hard trivia. Each question was worth 5 burpees. Right or wrong, we climbed another floor. Five more up and downs and ten burpees (out of a possible 25) later, we made it to the 25th floor.

    Time to diffuse some B.O.M.B.S. Partner up and we did another five floors each while you and your partnered alternated Burpees, Overhead Claps, Merkins, Big Boy Situps, and SSH. The Christmas party is supposed to be on the 30th floor but the terrorists screwed it all up.

    Hutton was not happy and shouted “From up here it doesn’t look like you’re in charge of jack shit!” A little more trivia and I responded with “I am an exceptional Q, EF Hutton. And since I’ve moved to Kidnapping, you should be more polite”.

    We had to find the terrorists and the only choice now was the ventilation shaft. Two more times with bear crawls and knowing what a TV dinner feels like, and we made it to the 32nd floor.

    A little more trivia and 5 burpees later and we did the final three floors. And Alexander wept, seeing as he had no more worlds to conquer.

    But…we had to go to the roof to save the innocent party goers and scare off the FBI helicopters. So we did one more hill run and saved the day!

    He made it back over the fence and did some Mary of LBCs and finished on time.

    Big thanks to the Nakatomi Party Committee of Holly Gennaro, Harry Ellis and Mr. Rogers for the Coffee, decorations and snacks. Not sure what the future of the plaza is, but I suspect I can find a way to do this a 4th time next year. Until next time …

    Yippee-Ki-Yay Motherfuckers!