Author: Whitesnake

  • Missing

    Missing

    Seven could have been eight this morning. But my ex co-conspirator White Deer text me this morning that “White deer and cold rain don’t mix”. That left me mad and I took it out on the pax.

    We warmed up with 20 SSH and then got all nice and wet with some Susan Summers. With both sides all damp to the glee of all, we did merkins in cadence (13 count, not 10). Then did arm circles, DQs and moseyed to the school.

    Partnered up (where was mine?) at the covered bus pickup and one partner ran the courtyard triangle doing 5 burpees halfway while the other did an exercise. We did two sets of HRM, LBCs & Lt Dans. After getting to 30 burpees we moseyed to the basketball courts.

    In celebration of UR beating VCU, we did four corners and hit every exercise on the way back. Ten burpees, 20 Squats, 30 Plank Jacks and 40 SSH was at each corner. After getting to 40 more burpees and finding a crushed milk carton, we moseyed to the tennis courts.

    This is where White Deer took over. Oh wait… We shuffled up and down both sides of the courts that confused some and felt too painful for others and then did a shuttle run doing 5 burpees at the end of each court. We learned that the courts are not level as the water got deeper the closer you got to the woods. The last 5 burpees (for those that did them) were in a couple inches of brown water. After 20 more burpees total we did a long mosey to the front of the school.

    We partnered up again and one ran around the front loop while the other did some ab work. Did this four times with Crunchy Frogs (or hand claps for some), Reverse Crunches, Flutters and LBCs. Moseyed to the pavilion near the football field and did dips until the 6 arrived. Then we did 20 dips and 20 incline merkins, then 15 then 10. With a few minutes left we circles up and did ten burpees. Got us to 100 for the day! We also did 2.4 miles!! Great job everybody.

    Announcements: 2nd F this Tuesday at Firehouse Subs at noon. Gypsy is collected facial hair for the Merkin Society of Philadelphia. Grow Ruck in May.

  • Die Hard 2: Die Harder

    Ten strong this morning (including a returning Gypsy) suffered through my sequel to the Christmas time Die Hard workout. I like my themes and had no good new ideas, so why not do a sequel! It was clear many of the Pax have not seen this classic 1990 movie which is sad. It is a must watch.

    Before getting to the main dish, we hit the track and did a lap of indigenous people run/walk. Main qualifier was that we do it correctly-only one runner at a time or we would have a 5 burpee penalty. All was fine until Mr. Rogers wanted us to do burpees and broke the rules. We then ran to the top of Heartbreak Ridge for warmups: 25 SSH, 20 Hillbillies, 20 Merkins, 20 LBCs, 20 Freddies, maybe something else.

    Before you see a sequel, you need a refresher on the original. We did 10 down/up the hill runs to remind us what it was like to climb Nakatomi Plaza.

    Then a Die Hard 2 trivia question. No one knew the answer “Just the fax” so we did 5 more hill runs with escalating Burpees (1-5). We then worked on our flying skills with some Bat Wings (20 arm circles forward, 20 backward, 20 seal claps, 20 overhead claps–keeping the arms up at all times). We passed the flight test so took a break from Nakatomi Plaza and went to the baseball field for some partner exercises.

    One partner ran the bases, other did Squats (3 rounds) WWII (3 rounds) and after a successful Die Hard 2 Trivia question, we did it again with HRM (3 rounds).

    We did one last flight of Nakatomi Plaza and then hit the football field. We made two lines to create a runway for the planes running out of gas and ran to the 50, 5 burpees, high knees to the end, Bernie back and had time to do it again. One line was great, the other a mess but no planes crashed.

    Total of 2.1 miles today. Less miles than when Handshake got us lost offsite down Shane Road. Similar level of complaints.

    It was a honor to lead this morning.

    I will steal some quotes from the movie to express the opinion of the Pax:

    Whitesnake: You’re the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    Handshake: Story of my life.

    Lighthouse: Oh man, I can’t fucking believe this. Another hill, another burpee. How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?

    Whitesnake: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

    “Die Hard with a Vengeance” coming to a AO near you, sometime in the future…

  • I was on Baywatch

    Visiting my parents in Wilmington NC and made my first downrange visit to Baywatch. Flight Nurse was the Q and 20 strong (including 3 FNGs) got to enjoy a beautiful morning on the beach.
    We started at the basketball courts for warmups and the ran halfway to the beach for more exercises. Then we ran to the beach and did 11s (merkins and plank jacks) and then a combo of bear crawls and crabwalks. To make it interesting, the beach is under renovation and there is a 3 foot round pipe across the entire beach (to add sand). A sand hill got you over the pipe but it added elevation to all the workouts. BTW, Crabwalks on the beach should be illegal. We then ran back to the AO. Total of about 2 miles running back and forth to the beach.

  • Pump Park Party

    As the sun began to rise, five friends gathered at the trailhead, their breath visible in the crisp morning air. With determination in their eyes, they set off on their 3-mile journey through the winding paths of the short pump park forest. Along the way, they encountered their first challenge: 25 burpees—5 then run a loop (5x). That was Pigskins favorite. Despite the burn in their muscles, they cheered each other on, pushing through together.

    As they continued their run, they reached a clearing where they decided to incorporate a four corners exercise, twice over, adding a playful twist to their workout routine. With their silence echoing through the trees, they did WIIs, reverse crunches, squats and lbcs (10,20,30,40) and did it again with HRM, heels to heaven, American hammers and jump squats.

    Then they headed back and arrived at the bus loop. Undeterred, they rallied together and jogged around the loop twice, using it as an opportunity to reach a full 3 miles.


    Glad to have Centrum Silver visit from Roanoke. This was his first time at WTH having been to Circus Maximus on a prior visit.

  • Sharts Out

    In the vibrant town of Fitville, nestled amidst rolling hills, there lived a group of nine workout warriors. Every Thursday at the crack of dawn, precisely at 5:30 AM, they converged at the outdoor gym, a rugged yet picturesque spot overlooking the town, where the ghost of Mills E. Godwin, a legendary fitness enthusiast from Fitville’s past, was said to linger, watching over their workouts with a spectral eye.

    Whitesnake, with his lightning-fast reflexes and unwavering determination, assumed the lead role among the warriors, his presence electrifying the air with anticipation. As they began their warm-up routine, guided by Pigskins speeding, Chum Bucket’s booming encouragement, Garden Gnome’s precision and Johnsonville’s raw power set the tone for the challenging session ahead.

    Pigskin, known for his athletic prowess, matched Johnsonville’s strength with effortless ease, while Atilla, the embodiment of resilience, tackled the single-leg deadlifts with a focus that bordered on the supernatural. Offshore, his gaze fixed on the horizon, remained steadfast in his commitment to excellence, his every movement a testament to his indomitable spirit.

    As the workout progressed, Whitesnake dominated the kettlebell swings with a ferocity that left the group in awe, his rhythmic motion mirroring the beat of their collective heart. Lighthouse, with his unwavering dedication and impeccable form, flawlessly executed the rows and presses, his muscles rippling with every exertion.

    Meanwhile, White Deer, the epitome of grace and poise, led the warriors through the core circuit with a fluidity that seemed almost ethereal, his movements guided by an inner strength that transcended the physical realm. And amidst it all, a mystery lingered: a faint scent, a subtle sound. Who among them had sharted?

    As the workout continued, whispers circulated among the warriors, each casting suspicious glances at their comrades. Yet, no one owned up to the clandestine act, and the mystery remained unsolved, adding an unexpected twist to their routine.

    United by their love for kettlebell training and fueled by the spectral presence of Fitville’s legendary figure, the nine warriors pushed themselves to their limits, each repetition bringing them one step closer to greatness. And as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden glow over the town, they knew that they had honored the legacy of Mills E. Godwin and forged a bond that would endure for eternity in the “annals” of Fitville’s history, even if the mystery of the shart remained unresolved.

  • Why am I doing this hill again?

    I have a new idea, let’s do this route where we get to go up a Raintree hill twice and never go down it. We can also find more hills later as we run around in circles. Sound good?

    Seven of us followed my dizzying 4 different circles route without error and enjoyed ~4.5-5 miles while Blue Moon continued his comeback routine.

    There was one error, YHC picking this route.

    A good group at Dunkin’ followed. Looking forward to Pigskin and Gomer returning from Honduras and hearing about their trip.

    February has a few different challenging events for this group. Come join in!

    Feb 10: Frozen Triangle CSAUP starts at 6AM at Dogpile

    Feb 17: Oak Island Race-Blue Moon (10k) and Gypsy (Half) (along with others from F3)

    Feb 25: Bear Creek 10 Mile- Whitesnake and Upchuck (along with others from F3)

  • Tunnel Vision

    Just like Magellan, Leif Erikson, & James Cook before us, the WTH group of three went on a dangerous expedition. This one was to find the rumored Wellesley tunnel. After almost a mile and half of running, we discovered an unusual entrance hidden beneath the roots of an ancient oak tree. The entrance, covered by invisible thick vines and moss, seemed to lead to an underground tunnel. Unable to resist the allure of the unknown, the trio decided to explore. Descending into the mysterious tunnel, we found ourselves in a dimly lit passage adorned with symbols and carvings, hinting at a rich history. The air was cool, and the echo of their footsteps filled the chamber as we delved deeper into the hidden world beneath their feet.

    At the other end was what looked like a weird assembly of four fenced in prison camps. They were empty, minus some netting and brooms that must be from some ancient torture. Feeling like we were being watched, we did some warmups of Helicopters, Don Quixote’s, Ukrainian Soldiers and Cherry Pickers. Then, to confuse the locals, we ran up and down the outside of the fences, forming an “H” and did a total of 100 WWIIs, 100 Squats and 25 burpees. Worried about whether we could find our way back alive, we ran back through the cold tunnel and made a brief short cut. We ran back and totaled 3.3 miles. We finished with 25 Flutters and 25 Hand Release Merkins before departing in our shuttles back home. Another successful WTH mission.

  • Oh Susanna

    6 strong showed up this morning and we celebrated some of the lesser known Jan 13th holidays. And we sang a little bit so you can too.

    (To the tune of “Oh Susanna” in honor of Stephen Foster Memorial Day)


    Oh, in the F3 bootcamp morning, we gathered with a cheer,
    Doing warm-ups and stretches, getting ready for what’s near.
    Triple check of Alabama Prom Dates, we were on our way,
    Followed by Alabama Ass Kickers and a runner, 5 burpees, hooray!

    Spelling BANJO at the corners, a workout quite unique,
    10 Burpees, then Alternating shoulder taps, the challenge was to peak.
    Never cross dolly’s, plank Jacks, and Outlaws in the mix,
    4 corners, 5 times, feeling like a workout fix.

    Duck walks for Rubber Ducky Day, up and down we go,
    Then celebrating Make Your Dream Come True Day, partners in tow.
    Traditional Dora, we pushed ourselves to the brim,
    Moseyed back for dips and burpees, the energy within.

    For National Sticker Day, a quirky celebration,
    20 dips, 10 burpees minus car stickers, our dedication.
    Rotating with Bulgarian squats, feeling strong and fit,
    Moseyed back to the flag, for Mary, a final bit.

    In the F3 bootcamp, we pushed ourselves with glee,
    Celebrating days, working out, a community so free.
    With burpees, dips, and laughter, we made our spirits soar,
    Oh, F3 bootcamp mornings, we’ll be back for more!

  • Really, really, really ridiculously good looking

    Three of the most dedicated WTH models and YHC got together this morning in Short Pump for some fun and to perfect the Blue Steel pose. I wore my new shirt yesterday but everyone else wore them today. Lighthouse was wearing his new orange F3 shirt and apologized “I’m sorry that good looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.” Pinto, with his new shirt, gave us some backstory: “Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking “wow, you’re ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.”

    We took off for Short Pump Park and the Pavilion for some warmups. After that we did some AMRAPs as the timer ran the loop. We did squats, step ups, SSH, Dips, American Hammers, LBCs, Dolly’s and HRM. After we were done, we did them all again as a group (ten count) so everyone got to do all the exercises. We then ran up Pump and across to the Nissan lot. In the lot we ran up and down the lot a couple times and did a total of 20 Burpees.

    We then ran back to Pocahontas middle and hit the track for one lap before getting back to the start. 2.9 miles total. Not hitting 3 miles made everyone upset. If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it’s that a male model’s life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn’t mean that we too can’t ruin our day by not hitting 3 miles at WTH.

    As we broke off, Pigskin, wearing his new shirt for the second day in a row, was off to a morning of volunteering and left us with these important words: “At the Pigskin Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there’s more to life than just being really, really, really good looking.” Wise words indeed.

  • Animals, Tight Shorts and Bunny Farts

    Once upon a time, in the heart of the enchanted woods, there lived a majestic White Deer named Ivory. Ivory was no ordinary deer; he possessed a magical aura that attracted creatures from all corners of the forest. One day, as Ivory gracefully roamed through the emerald foliage, he stumbled upon a peculiar clearing where six unique animals awaited him. These newfound friends were Whitesnake, a wise and elegant snake; Lighthouse, a luminescent firefly with a beacon-like glow; Pigskin, a playful and skinny boar; Johnsonville, a swift and spirited squirrel; Atilla, an adventurous rabbit, and Mr. Rogers, a gentle and wise owl.

    Intrigued by the diversity of his newfound companions, Ivory, sporting super tight shorts that showcased his athleticism, decided to add a touch of humor to their workout routine. With a twinkle in his eye, Ivory rolled a special weighted die to determine not only the exercises but also the comedic sound effects that would accompany them.

    As the workout commenced, Atilla couldn’t help but unleash a series of endearing bunny farts that resonated through the clearing, adding an unexpected element of amusement. Whitesnake, despite his lack of limbs, gracefully slithered through the air, mimicking the kettlebell swings, while Lighthouse’s glow intensified with each repetition, casting a radiant light that highlighted Ivory’s super tight shorts.

    While the forest echoed with laughter, Johnsonville, the spirited squirrel, couldn’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy. The tight shorts that accentuated Ivory’s every move had become a center of attention, drawing eyes away from Johnsonville’s acrobatic prowess. Determined to reclaim the spotlight, Johnsonville leaped and flipped through the branches with even more gusto, unleashing a symphony of playful squirrel squeaks that demanded notice.

    Pigskin, reveling in the boisterous atmosphere, joined the fun by rolling and tumbling with infectious laughter. Mr. Rogers, the wise owl, hooted with amusement, and Ivory, with his tight shorts, led the group with a combination of grace and humor.

    As the morning passed, Ivory and his magical friends navigated through the humor, occasional jealousy, and camaraderie. The clearing became a haven of laughter, positive energy, and newfound wildness, and the magical exercises, complete with their charming sound effects, brought out the best in each creature.

    As the animals departed for coffee, the enchanted woods fell silent, and a ghostly figure materialized. It was the spectral presence of Mills E. Godwin, a former governor from another time and place. With a mysterious smile, he gazed upon the woodland scene, and in a whisper, he wondered aloud, “Did any of this truly happen, or was it all just a dream?”

    As the ghostly figure of Mills E. Godwin pondered the reality of the magical adventures, the enchanted woods shimmered, leaving the answer to this whimsical tale hanging in the balance. The dreamlike quality of the story lingered, leaving the characters and their laughter suspended in the mystical realm between reality and the imagination. And with that, the story of Ivory and his magical friends, the tight shorts, the bunny farts, and the playful squirrel squeaks faded away, leaving the ghost of Mills E. Godwin to contemplate the mysteries of the enchanted woods.