Author: Whitesnake

  • Pump Park Party

    As the sun began to rise, five friends gathered at the trailhead, their breath visible in the crisp morning air. With determination in their eyes, they set off on their 3-mile journey through the winding paths of the short pump park forest. Along the way, they encountered their first challenge: 25 burpees—5 then run a loop (5x). That was Pigskins favorite. Despite the burn in their muscles, they cheered each other on, pushing through together.

    As they continued their run, they reached a clearing where they decided to incorporate a four corners exercise, twice over, adding a playful twist to their workout routine. With their silence echoing through the trees, they did WIIs, reverse crunches, squats and lbcs (10,20,30,40) and did it again with HRM, heels to heaven, American hammers and jump squats.

    Then they headed back and arrived at the bus loop. Undeterred, they rallied together and jogged around the loop twice, using it as an opportunity to reach a full 3 miles.


    Glad to have Centrum Silver visit from Roanoke. This was his first time at WTH having been to Circus Maximus on a prior visit.

  • Sharts Out

    In the vibrant town of Fitville, nestled amidst rolling hills, there lived a group of nine workout warriors. Every Thursday at the crack of dawn, precisely at 5:30 AM, they converged at the outdoor gym, a rugged yet picturesque spot overlooking the town, where the ghost of Mills E. Godwin, a legendary fitness enthusiast from Fitville’s past, was said to linger, watching over their workouts with a spectral eye.

    Whitesnake, with his lightning-fast reflexes and unwavering determination, assumed the lead role among the warriors, his presence electrifying the air with anticipation. As they began their warm-up routine, guided by Pigskins speeding, Chum Bucket’s booming encouragement, Garden Gnome’s precision and Johnsonville’s raw power set the tone for the challenging session ahead.

    Pigskin, known for his athletic prowess, matched Johnsonville’s strength with effortless ease, while Atilla, the embodiment of resilience, tackled the single-leg deadlifts with a focus that bordered on the supernatural. Offshore, his gaze fixed on the horizon, remained steadfast in his commitment to excellence, his every movement a testament to his indomitable spirit.

    As the workout progressed, Whitesnake dominated the kettlebell swings with a ferocity that left the group in awe, his rhythmic motion mirroring the beat of their collective heart. Lighthouse, with his unwavering dedication and impeccable form, flawlessly executed the rows and presses, his muscles rippling with every exertion.

    Meanwhile, White Deer, the epitome of grace and poise, led the warriors through the core circuit with a fluidity that seemed almost ethereal, his movements guided by an inner strength that transcended the physical realm. And amidst it all, a mystery lingered: a faint scent, a subtle sound. Who among them had sharted?

    As the workout continued, whispers circulated among the warriors, each casting suspicious glances at their comrades. Yet, no one owned up to the clandestine act, and the mystery remained unsolved, adding an unexpected twist to their routine.

    United by their love for kettlebell training and fueled by the spectral presence of Fitville’s legendary figure, the nine warriors pushed themselves to their limits, each repetition bringing them one step closer to greatness. And as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden glow over the town, they knew that they had honored the legacy of Mills E. Godwin and forged a bond that would endure for eternity in the “annals” of Fitville’s history, even if the mystery of the shart remained unresolved.

  • Why am I doing this hill again?

    I have a new idea, let’s do this route where we get to go up a Raintree hill twice and never go down it. We can also find more hills later as we run around in circles. Sound good?

    Seven of us followed my dizzying 4 different circles route without error and enjoyed ~4.5-5 miles while Blue Moon continued his comeback routine.

    There was one error, YHC picking this route.

    A good group at Dunkin’ followed. Looking forward to Pigskin and Gomer returning from Honduras and hearing about their trip.

    February has a few different challenging events for this group. Come join in!

    Feb 10: Frozen Triangle CSAUP starts at 6AM at Dogpile

    Feb 17: Oak Island Race-Blue Moon (10k) and Gypsy (Half) (along with others from F3)

    Feb 25: Bear Creek 10 Mile- Whitesnake and Upchuck (along with others from F3)

  • Tunnel Vision

    Just like Magellan, Leif Erikson, & James Cook before us, the WTH group of three went on a dangerous expedition. This one was to find the rumored Wellesley tunnel. After almost a mile and half of running, we discovered an unusual entrance hidden beneath the roots of an ancient oak tree. The entrance, covered by invisible thick vines and moss, seemed to lead to an underground tunnel. Unable to resist the allure of the unknown, the trio decided to explore. Descending into the mysterious tunnel, we found ourselves in a dimly lit passage adorned with symbols and carvings, hinting at a rich history. The air was cool, and the echo of their footsteps filled the chamber as we delved deeper into the hidden world beneath their feet.

    At the other end was what looked like a weird assembly of four fenced in prison camps. They were empty, minus some netting and brooms that must be from some ancient torture. Feeling like we were being watched, we did some warmups of Helicopters, Don Quixote’s, Ukrainian Soldiers and Cherry Pickers. Then, to confuse the locals, we ran up and down the outside of the fences, forming an “H” and did a total of 100 WWIIs, 100 Squats and 25 burpees. Worried about whether we could find our way back alive, we ran back through the cold tunnel and made a brief short cut. We ran back and totaled 3.3 miles. We finished with 25 Flutters and 25 Hand Release Merkins before departing in our shuttles back home. Another successful WTH mission.

  • Oh Susanna

    6 strong showed up this morning and we celebrated some of the lesser known Jan 13th holidays. And we sang a little bit so you can too.

    (To the tune of “Oh Susanna” in honor of Stephen Foster Memorial Day)


    Oh, in the F3 bootcamp morning, we gathered with a cheer,
    Doing warm-ups and stretches, getting ready for what’s near.
    Triple check of Alabama Prom Dates, we were on our way,
    Followed by Alabama Ass Kickers and a runner, 5 burpees, hooray!

    Spelling BANJO at the corners, a workout quite unique,
    10 Burpees, then Alternating shoulder taps, the challenge was to peak.
    Never cross dolly’s, plank Jacks, and Outlaws in the mix,
    4 corners, 5 times, feeling like a workout fix.

    Duck walks for Rubber Ducky Day, up and down we go,
    Then celebrating Make Your Dream Come True Day, partners in tow.
    Traditional Dora, we pushed ourselves to the brim,
    Moseyed back for dips and burpees, the energy within.

    For National Sticker Day, a quirky celebration,
    20 dips, 10 burpees minus car stickers, our dedication.
    Rotating with Bulgarian squats, feeling strong and fit,
    Moseyed back to the flag, for Mary, a final bit.

    In the F3 bootcamp, we pushed ourselves with glee,
    Celebrating days, working out, a community so free.
    With burpees, dips, and laughter, we made our spirits soar,
    Oh, F3 bootcamp mornings, we’ll be back for more!

  • Really, really, really ridiculously good looking

    Three of the most dedicated WTH models and YHC got together this morning in Short Pump for some fun and to perfect the Blue Steel pose. I wore my new shirt yesterday but everyone else wore them today. Lighthouse was wearing his new orange F3 shirt and apologized “I’m sorry that good looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.” Pinto, with his new shirt, gave us some backstory: “Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking “wow, you’re ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.”

    We took off for Short Pump Park and the Pavilion for some warmups. After that we did some AMRAPs as the timer ran the loop. We did squats, step ups, SSH, Dips, American Hammers, LBCs, Dolly’s and HRM. After we were done, we did them all again as a group (ten count) so everyone got to do all the exercises. We then ran up Pump and across to the Nissan lot. In the lot we ran up and down the lot a couple times and did a total of 20 Burpees.

    We then ran back to Pocahontas middle and hit the track for one lap before getting back to the start. 2.9 miles total. Not hitting 3 miles made everyone upset. If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it’s that a male model’s life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn’t mean that we too can’t ruin our day by not hitting 3 miles at WTH.

    As we broke off, Pigskin, wearing his new shirt for the second day in a row, was off to a morning of volunteering and left us with these important words: “At the Pigskin Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there’s more to life than just being really, really, really good looking.” Wise words indeed.

  • Animals, Tight Shorts and Bunny Farts

    Once upon a time, in the heart of the enchanted woods, there lived a majestic White Deer named Ivory. Ivory was no ordinary deer; he possessed a magical aura that attracted creatures from all corners of the forest. One day, as Ivory gracefully roamed through the emerald foliage, he stumbled upon a peculiar clearing where six unique animals awaited him. These newfound friends were Whitesnake, a wise and elegant snake; Lighthouse, a luminescent firefly with a beacon-like glow; Pigskin, a playful and skinny boar; Johnsonville, a swift and spirited squirrel; Atilla, an adventurous rabbit, and Mr. Rogers, a gentle and wise owl.

    Intrigued by the diversity of his newfound companions, Ivory, sporting super tight shorts that showcased his athleticism, decided to add a touch of humor to their workout routine. With a twinkle in his eye, Ivory rolled a special weighted die to determine not only the exercises but also the comedic sound effects that would accompany them.

    As the workout commenced, Atilla couldn’t help but unleash a series of endearing bunny farts that resonated through the clearing, adding an unexpected element of amusement. Whitesnake, despite his lack of limbs, gracefully slithered through the air, mimicking the kettlebell swings, while Lighthouse’s glow intensified with each repetition, casting a radiant light that highlighted Ivory’s super tight shorts.

    While the forest echoed with laughter, Johnsonville, the spirited squirrel, couldn’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy. The tight shorts that accentuated Ivory’s every move had become a center of attention, drawing eyes away from Johnsonville’s acrobatic prowess. Determined to reclaim the spotlight, Johnsonville leaped and flipped through the branches with even more gusto, unleashing a symphony of playful squirrel squeaks that demanded notice.

    Pigskin, reveling in the boisterous atmosphere, joined the fun by rolling and tumbling with infectious laughter. Mr. Rogers, the wise owl, hooted with amusement, and Ivory, with his tight shorts, led the group with a combination of grace and humor.

    As the morning passed, Ivory and his magical friends navigated through the humor, occasional jealousy, and camaraderie. The clearing became a haven of laughter, positive energy, and newfound wildness, and the magical exercises, complete with their charming sound effects, brought out the best in each creature.

    As the animals departed for coffee, the enchanted woods fell silent, and a ghostly figure materialized. It was the spectral presence of Mills E. Godwin, a former governor from another time and place. With a mysterious smile, he gazed upon the woodland scene, and in a whisper, he wondered aloud, “Did any of this truly happen, or was it all just a dream?”

    As the ghostly figure of Mills E. Godwin pondered the reality of the magical adventures, the enchanted woods shimmered, leaving the answer to this whimsical tale hanging in the balance. The dreamlike quality of the story lingered, leaving the characters and their laughter suspended in the mystical realm between reality and the imagination. And with that, the story of Ivory and his magical friends, the tight shorts, the bunny farts, and the playful squirrel squeaks faded away, leaving the ghost of Mills E. Godwin to contemplate the mysteries of the enchanted woods.

  • Die Hard is a Christmas movie

    Tater thought he could take it to a vote, but as Q, I both break the 4-4 tie and also get to declare whatever I want!

    It has been 35 years since that fateful Christmas Eve that resulted in the loss of innocent lives and severe damage to Nakatomi Plaza. We honored the courage of John McLane today by climbing Nakatomi.

    After some warmup, we ran up (and down) the hill ten times. Handshake led the grumbling.

    Almost a third of the way to the roof, we did another ten but added a merkin at the top, eventually doing ten merkins the last time.

    More grumbling. We got lucky and ran into an innocent bystander on the 20th floor. So we partnered up and did 10 combined. One ran while the partner did WWIIs (and switch).

    30 floors up we were getting too close to Hans Gruber and his crew. We had to hit the air ducts for two floors and so bear crawled up twice. We ran the last three floors and successful got to the 35th floor.

    We were not done as all the innocent partygoers were on the roof. We bear crawled one last time and then shot our machine guns up in the air to scare off the copters and get the partygoers to run back downstairs.

    We successfully saved the employees. Unfortunately the helicopters were not as lucky, but we did not like the FBI guys anyway.

    In celebration, we ran to the football field and did 2 rounds of ten burpees, run to the 50 and 25 squats.

    Everyone was very happy to have come to such a fun workout. But in case I missed a complaint or two and I have two comments:

    1. Now, you listen to me, jerk-off, if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem.
    2. Yippee-kiy-yay motherfucker!

  • A Festivus for the rest of us

    Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my daughter. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way. What happened to the doll? It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the rest of us.

    Nine great men joined together a couple days early to celebrate. Before I went over the 5 key parts to F3, I mean Festivus, we did some warmups in honor of my favorite Seinfeld episode that featured opposite George. Because if every instinct I have is wrong, the opposite would have to be right. We did some reverse arm circles (10 big then 5 small), then some forward, then some Mercury Freddies followed by reverse scorpion kicks. We flipped over on our belly and did some reverse flutters and finished with the bell and some reverse merkins (presses).

    We reviewed as a group the 5 principles of Festivus. 1) There is an aluminum pole with no decorations (I find tinsel distracting). The pole was proudly displayed on the sidewalk 2) It begins with the airing of grievances 3) Their is a meal 4) It ends with the Feats of Strength and 5) Be on the lookout for a Festivus miracle(s).

    The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with some exercises and now you’re gonna hear about it. We went around the circle and announced what exercise we had a problem with and then we all did 20 of such exercise. I started. I have a problem with sit and presses on pavement as it gives me a tramp stamp. So we did 20. While likely not 100% accurate, I think we then went with Fireman Ed having a problem with Halos, Byproduct having a big dislike for Overhead Pulls, Offshore had a problem with American Hammers, Pigskin with Bearcrawling with the bell, Fudd has a problem with Merkins using the bell with one hand and alternating each hand with each merkin, Attila and his back have a problem with swinging (that’s what she said), White Deer dislikes plank rows and Johnsonville has a problem with overhead presses. 180 counts later, we were done. We bonded as a family telling these 9 exercises how they disappointed us over the past year.

    We then had an AMRAP meal. One member of the pax ran to the pole, did 3 burpees and ran back while the group did an exercise. We did 3 rounds of curls, lawnmower pulls, WWII, bear crawl/crawl bear, rifle carry, squats, OH press and flutters with bell. Between rounds we ran around the bus loop.

    All right, everyone. It’s time for the Festivus feats of strength. I used cones to create a small square field for the competition. Each member would duck walk with hands behind our back and try to knock over each pax. Using your hands is illegal and you must stay inbounds. Last man “standing” wins. Let’s rumble!! Nine went down to four as Attila, Offshore, Fireman Ed, Fudd and Pigskin all were eliminated. The final four of Byproduct, White Deer, Johnsonville and YHC faced off. Johnsonville eliminated Byproduct while YHC found White Deer distracted by the lights and knocked him down in an upset. Johnsonville and YHC then faced off.

    Fireman Ed: I think you can take him, Whitesnake
    Whitesnake: Hey, come on. Be sensible.
    Johnsonville: Stop crying and fight!
    Whitesnake: Oh, oh I give. I give! (Johnsonville charged and forced me to go out of bounds)
    Johnsonville: This is the best Festivus ever!

    There were a few Festivus miracles identified. Johnsonville at Circus was definitely one. Attila not making any jokes about the “pole” was another. I think the biggest was having nine pax. There were nine seasons of Seinfeld! And we did 180 reps during our grievances and there were 180 episodes!

    Following the COT, many of us went to Starbucks to celebrate Johnsonville’s victory. I awarded him a certificate showing a donation made in his name to the Human Fund! Congrats!!

    I hope Festivus scratched you right where it itches. I put the pole back in the crawl space and it will be back next year.

  • Defectors, Traitors or Lost?

    Four regulars showed up and were thankful for no rain . Pigskin stayed back to circle and protect Pocahontas while the three runners took a new WTH path. A left on John Rolfe had them venture South and then back North on Pump until they got to North Gayton Baptist. As they began a 4 corners of 10 Merkins, 20 WWIIs, 30 Hammers and 40 Squats, they heard some recognizable mumble chatter from behind and then were confronted by Gypsy and Mr. Rogers (and dog) running ON THEIR OWN!!

    Gypsy helped start WTH many years ago and Mr. Rogers had been a recent recurring attendee. And now they go off on their own!?! Our new route clearly caught them by surprise. I can hear the excuses now: “I am prepping for some silly race and sub 4 minute miles”, “My hair is too cool for WTH”, “I am too busy preparing for an Apocalypse that also involves lots of flowers”, “My dog does not do merkins”, etc.

    That’s OK. The three loyalists continued on and did a triple check at the park with dips, incline merkins and running a lap for the timer. We did this twice and were running against time. We ran back to the start and did ten burpees for fun. We got 3.5 miles in plus the exercises and then caught up with Pigskin for some announcements and prayers. Prayers for Pinto and Lighthouse as they have some I-95 fun. Pigskin and I should be at the Convergence tomorrow. Gypsy and Mr. Rogers are welcomed back to WTH anytime, after they each write “WTH is my home” five hundred times on the blackboard.