Tag: #CSAUP

Completely Stupid and Udderly Pointless

  • Ruckers get a Brazilian from The Flying Chad

    An elite squad of heavily-laden ruckers converged at Ruckhenge for the first leg of our OTB adventure. Before we could even leave the lot, an FNG-to-be chased us down to get the download on F3 and assured us he’ll be joining us soon. En route to the railroad track a second FNG-to-be stopped the march to also get our info. Seems daytime rucks might just be a great recruiting tool! We traveled a total of about 2.2 miles, and YHC felt very much like a sorry pack mule carrying a cooler of beverages in addition to the usual 50 pound ruck. But we arrived exactly on time at Machismo’s 12 acre paradise, and promptly dropped rucks and crushed a beer. 

    For the second part of our adventure, Machismo marched the PAX back into the woods and toward the railroad track where a number of old, mostly rotten, railroad ties were piled up. Dookie briefly danced with a copperhead, but no harm to either dangerous creature transpired. So two mostly whole railroad ties were shouldered, 3 men to a caber, and carried back to the ranch. We deposited the cabers next to Machismo’s log splitting arena, and took turns competing with splitting speed and maul VS axe. The clock face splitting for speed was particularly fun, and Machismo leaving the ground to split a gnarly bit was epic (see picture) – no wood can resist the power of The Flying Chad. We concluded our pre-dinner activities by being entertained with DTH and Machismo’s efforts to walk a giant wooden spool (see picture). 

    For our third quarter of this epic event, the PAX pulled up camp chairs, cracked beers, told stories, and watched the meat wizard (Machsimo) go to work. With a smaller number of PAX than expected, these lucky few HIM’s engorged themselves with triple portions of tomahawk lamb steaks, sandwiches of Brazilian-style steak & chimichurri on toasted baguette, and a couple massive steaks provided by Dookie. After devouring some of the meat Purple Rain asked if Machismo would have him for his wife, but he was quickly declined. The PAX got to meet the lucky M toward the end of our dinner and she agreed Machismo’s meat is the best. 

    For our final leg of the OTB adventure, Machismo (and his sweet dog) led a very jolly and stuffed band of ruckers back through the darkening woods to Rockaway, and then even remained with the PAX for the full return journey back to Ruckhenge. YHC was under quite a bit of weight, and found the return trip, all up hill, to be quite daunting. At the time of this writing, YHC is completely stiff and sore all over. But the PAX was very encouraging and all HIM’s completed the 2.5 miles trek back to Einstein safely. 

    If you’ve read this far, thank you. Even with many weeks to plan/prepare, not many PAX prioritized participating in this epic event, and it’s likely even fewer will choose to read about what we’ve accomplished out there. As with all things in life – you’ll get out what you put in. Be there next time fellas!  Yours AYE, DTH

  • I’m Not the Site Q, But I Have a Route

    A nine line of men built mutual strength through an unbreakable bond at the latest edition of Currahee. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the guys walking super slowly three abreast along the road, the following might have happened.

    Figure Eight Route (if I say it’s a figure eight, it’s a figure eight).

    Old Prescott, do the very tiny loop at the cul-de-sac, and back to Godwin. Then, Maremont out past Raintree, do the Maremont Loop, right on Raintree (watch the walkers blocking the passing lane), and left onto Maremont.

    Do that 2 or 3 times, in whatever order each man chooses. From what YHC could tell, no creativity was requested or demonstrated. Lemmings all followed to their own slaughter.

    Numbers, names, and Lighthouse took us out.

    Announcements:

    F3RVA needs a few good men to volunteer to lead 3rd F activities. YHC is going to move on from The Bridge after 2 years. We are looking for a guy to step up to take this on. The role requires a small amount of organization to get a group to organize trips once a month to lead a workout at The Bridge (and usually stop at The Cumberland Diner on the way back). Give YHC a shout if you are interested.

    Prayers for Handshake’s family member, Charlotte (13 years old, YHC thinks…too young, in any case). She’s a strong kid, and no kid should have to suffer. Prayers for her parents and family as they are forced to endure the unimaginable impacts of cancer.

    Prayers for YHC’s friends Becca (glioblastoma) and Mike (health trainwreck).

    Keep our men and women in the uniformed services safe, and watch over our men and women who put their lives on the line in the intel community.

  • A Triangle has 3 sides

    YHC doesn’t know of another time the Frozen Triangle has ever been rescheduled. It is ironic that something that has the name “Frozen” was rescheduled because of actual frozen conditions.

    First off, what is The Frozen Triangle? Well it consists of 3 things: 20 minute Bootcamp at Dogpile, 3.4 Mile Run to Punisher, 20 minute Boot at Punisher, 2.9 Mile Run to 45MOM, 20 minutes Bootcamp at 45MOM, then 2.4 mile run to Dogpile to finish. Roughly 9 miles and 60 minutes of Bootcamp.

    Before YHC starts, happy 10 years to Bodo’s! You are always ready to jump into anything that comes your way. To quote the reverend from The Patriot “A shepherd must tend to his flock. And at times fight off the wolves…” Whether it’s a duel on the Pickelball court, or taking an Ultimate Frisbee game too seriously we are glad to have you as part of our group.

    YHC only completed one leg of the Triangle (45MOM Bootcamp and run to Dogpile) so YHC is missing the full details of what transpired before then.

    Dogpile – Bodo’s Anniversary Q. Not sure exactly what happened, but it was likely epic and entertaining. Then mosey to Punisher.

    Punisher – Gumbo Q. Also not sure exactly what happened, but rumor has that it was a tour of the campus while finding new and fun options. Then mosey to 45MOM.

    45MOM – Gypsy Q. Gypsy raided the Community Garden for Pavers/Edging Stones. Various exercises without any running: Block/Kettlebell Pass, Jack Webbs, then Wack Jebbs. Then mosey to Dogpile to finish.

    There was also a rucking contingent with House Party, Choo Choo, and Commando.

    NMS – T-claps to the guys that did the full Triangle, that is a tough CSAUP and there were a few first timers.

    Announcements – L Woods is involved in a Food Drive, please see Slack. Gypsy encouraged men to join a F3 Shield Lock, as well as to reach out to guys you haven’t heard from in a while.

    YHC is proud of the Pax that participated in The Frozen Triangle, especially those who were able to complete the whole thing. Special thanks to the guys involved in planning and to Corned Beef for running the Chuckwagon with snacks and water.

  • Frozen Triangle – Ruck Style

    Conditions were 10/10 gnarly (for RVA). Dry powder blowing sideways, snow and ice underfoot, and a wind chill that cuts to the bones.

    11 stud ruckers converged on the Frozen Triangle to remind the elements who’s boss.

    THE THANG

    Warm-o-Rama: DTH kicked things off with a high-speed Warm-o-Rama. The goal was to get the blood flowing and test traction underfoot before we set off. 

    The Ruck: We covered 8.9 miles of treacherous terrain. The ground was a mosaic of ice and powder, making every step a core workout. There was plenty of slips, but the PAX remained upright the entire time. Not one fall. Impressive given the conditions. 

    Bright blue skies, blinding morning sun, and  flags flying in the gusts. Some passersby honked. Others gestured. We waved back anyway.

    The conversation was deep. There is something about biting wind and freezing lungs that strips away the fluff and leads to real talk. We felt fully alive as we marched 8.9 miles closer to the men we want to be.

    Good work boys. 

    Next up is Frozen Triangle Part Duex on 2/21 0600 @ Dogpile. Let’s show up in number and have strong PAX representation. 

  • Many moons ago

    A birthday Q to remember. Me vs me I always try to push myself in the things I don’t like doing. I looked back to the recent ipc week 1. On the football field we ran 90 yards between each work out. 35 reps at each end of the field. We did start with 6 burpees in honor of Broadways request. Workout in the end zones consisted of: SSH, merkins, oblique lifts with cindies, plank Jack’s, lbc’s, oblique lbc’s, box cutters, WW2s, calf raises with 2 cindies, double count lunges, squats, and maybe one or two I’m forgetting. We racked up just over a mile. But with 9 minutes left on the clock I was saving the best for last looking to ipc for inspiration we finished with 90 thrusters. With some no shows on the FNGs I need i could go hard and these HIMS did not let me down. And now looking forward to Doolittles VQ next week.

  • The Things We Do For Beer

    ”You attract bees with honey” is a famous saying. Tonight showed you attract ruckers with beer! 12 (but then 13 after Cookie ate his pancakes and 14 after Ponch was told to get his ass out there) came out for what will be the first of many CSAUP Rucks!

    THE THANG

    Swoop kicked it off with ruckless 11s and ruck-on 4 corners around Alamo and we proceeded on our way. Crabgrass had a surprise for the PAX at the top of a dirt mound at a construction site where we found 6 sandbags waiting for us. Quick triple check with runner carrying sandbags + planks & SSH.

    We carried our 6 new sandbag friends with us as we made our way to Satans Hill. We split the group in half Team A) carry the sandbags to top of hill with rucks on and back. Team B) line up and do snake order merkins until Team A returns. Round 2 same thing but with jump squats.

    made our way to Old Hundred and Warby had a diabolical chart of exercises associated with letters. Spell your name and pay the price. Those with 5 or less letters had to spell their name twice!

    Began our 2.5 mile trek home to Alamo

    4 hours, 9.5 miles later we gathered around Alamo parking lot and began cracking open beers and enjoying some much earned guy time! Great work everyone, we pushed it hard today and no doubt each of us will be exhausted tonight and feeling it tomorrow, but we had smiles on our face the whole time and we all are glad we made it out tonight. One thing is for sure – we need more of these and there will be!

    THE HIGHLIGHTS

    1.5 miles in and Warby’s sole separates from his shoe. Thanks to some McGyver gorilla tape, we fix his “flat”. One mile later, his other shoe disintegrates and we need even more tape to get him back on the road. The fact that he completed another 7 miles in this janky setup is beyond words (see photo)

    Ponch’s daughter arrived home while we ascended Satans Hill and she was given a message to give her pops…”Get Your Ass out there”…and he obliged!!

    Special shoutout to Focker who answered a 10pm SOS call for some size 8.5-9 shoes for a ‘vagabond’ barely surviving.

    Thanks DTH for cranking the tunes even though one PAX was concerned the ‘house in the woods’ would be awoken by Bittersweet Symphony and seek revenge. Crank it up!

    14 HIMs have never had a beer that tasted so good. It’s so good when it touches your lips!

    Thank you to those who organized and thank you to those who supported. A great night for F3 RVA!

  • Third Annual Homegrown Half

    For the third year in a row, YHC’s disorganization and lack of social promotion led to yet another successful homegrown half, 10K, and 5K!

    Feedback from the PAX identified that the route last year kept everyone wanting more hills, so we brought back the OG double hill climbs and it was a big hit for all the half marathoners. 

    There was lots of mumble chatter along the way, but also a lot of camaraderie and shared disdain for the sudden resurgence of heat and humidity. At 6am, we kicked off to a true 70 and sunny, and the temp kept climbing throughout the race. 

    After the race, there was lots of speculation that our downrange guest, Dementia, was actually the infamous Bryan Kohberger, which turns out to be Fake News. 

    Special thanks to DTH for organizing a family, friendly 5K ruck with lots of participation. 

  • Assistant Regional Manager or Assistant to the Regional Manager?

    Three studs awoke to steamy conditions ready to examine the age-old question, “What’s my title?” Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the guy going out for a THIRD round this morning (21 miles!), the following might have happened:

    Route: South bank, Buttermilk, Forest Hill, reverso, and back to the virtual shovel flag. 7 miles. In today’s temperatures / conditions, this was like running 7 miles in a simmering soup.

    Numbers, names, and YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    Prayers for PAX members and their families, Breaking Bread, and Whitesnake leading The Bridge on July 19. Happy Father’s Day.

    NMS: Offshore is now officially the Assistant to the Traveling Secretary or the Assistant to the Regional Manager or the Associate Dean to the President. Or, something. Discussion today rotated among hockey playoffs, promotions, and crazy people trying to tear down institutions.

  • The Night We Saw Them All 2.0

    What a night!! A grand total of 39 hard charging dudes, or crazy MFers, depending on who you ask, saddled up for some or all of the Century 2.0. 3 teams of varying regionalities filled their vans up with supplies before 6pm on Friday night. Don Draper rolled in with a brand new Mercedes Sprinter van that inspired a new team name, Team Diesel. Van 4 carrying Team Boberry and the New Day (BND) rolled in hot with the crisp sounds of Yacht Rock as the instructions were given and the first runners, Focker, Gecko, Wet Bandit, and Heist, were sent off into the West End heat.

    Team Westhoe had the advantage of home turf for the first stretch with every other team getting lost somewhere along one of the routes. The mood was set early when Purple Rain, FNG Jason, and Faceplant all ruck/ran the majority of leg #2. After Buddy pushed ahead of him on leg #4- Faceplant provided his team updates along his journey in the Taint. Charging into the depths of the West End, Chaplain found a way to add mileage to his route, combo that with a migraine and he had to take an early leave. A week of sleepless nights from Broadway did him and and left Boberry heading to DaVille alone in his van. Heist thought he might cruise into the pickleball courts at Pouncey Tract Park with an easy 2nd place finish but the vision of his tron ahead kept YHC focused on an extra push to put Team Diesel into 2nd place in the West End.

    After grabbing Woodsman for Team BND it was off to DaVille for a 3 leg sprint led by Team Alamo aka team Silent but Deadly. Beat It (err Brownie?) was the lone Davillian to come support the effort, after waking him up from his car he was able to hang out and watch the festivities as the other teams scrambled to provide support for Boberry and his crew.

    Next up – Team Challenges. Beaver, Choo Choo, and Yukon Cornelius met us at the Lumberyard for Team Challenge #1. Team Tug of War with a fire hose – Team Westhoe left their strength at home and, despite being the only team with gloves, failed to win a match while Team SBD took the round robin and got their first choice of exercises. Team BND won round 1 but fell in the championship, even with the help of the locals. Team Diesel and Westhoe had an epic back and forth battle for 3rd that felt like hours but was likely closer to 30 seconds with Team Diesel prevailing. A quick half mile out and back and we were on our way to the next challenge.

    An open bathroom was a popular sight at Bermuda where BND picked up Mudslide. Heist had a map with 9, or was it 10, spots for team selfies, with a team total of 100 pullups at the final spot. Not sure how to judge who won this one besides maybe best selfie? The teams all agreed to a quick stop at Rock N Roll since that was the only other AO left off the route – start with some savasana, some quick Mary, and a group photo under the security camera before heading out.

    The final legs began at Green Mile. After the runners took off the teams enjoyed some easy going times in the parking lot until an unnamed PAX cleared the parking lot with a stink like he was in an enclosed van. On the way to the clean bathrooms of the Alamo, Team Diesel spotted a bonking Focker a few miles in. A quick support stop for some GU, water, and salt and he was back to normal. The next couple legs featured a battle between Westhoe and SBD while Diesel and BND took on the legs together with Rosetta running back to back legs. All was well until team Westhoe brought in fresh legs and a City Ringer as a pacer. Marv and Sippy Cup overtook The Duke and watched him make a wrong turn. Either way, at that point the lead was Westhoe’s to lose, not even Offshore running a leg for team BND was able to catch them on the way to Dogpile. 23 men stuck around for the final COT where FNG Jason was not named – Colgate, 4 out of 5, Prentist, Root Canal, Early Bird, and other names are up for grabs – until he posts again.

    Phenomenal work and a big Tclap thank you to the organizers – Routemaster – EF Hutton; Idea man – Don Draper; Challenge coordinator – Heist; Team Captains – Boberry and Swoop; Lumberyard Tug-o-war Refs and Teammates – Beaver, Choo Choo, Yukon. Could not have done it without support from everyone. Heist kept noting how different this was from last year’s CSAUP a year ago this weekend, some of that night is fuzzy but I recall it included some yelling, rain, dirty water, rucks, rain, logs, trails, sandbags yelling, carrying, dragging, and more rain. No rain, no logs, and only fun yelling this time around.

    The Winner – well that is up for debate. Westhoe and Alamo/SBD each won 2 sections. The 5th – Bermuda may be decided by best team selfie – biceps vs binder. Controversy will swirl for years with accusations of the use of a City Pacer, fresh legs never touching a van, lending of runners to other teams, and flatulent sabotage until the next Century. One thing is certain, no one loses when the HIMs of F3 get together to solidify bonds in the shared suffering of a CSAUP.

    Way to go men! Until next time, see you in the gloom.

  • Run, Camp, Sleep? Repeat

    The rugged trails of Pocahontas State Park became a crucible of F3 fortitude as the Ragnar Trail unfurled its demanding course over two relentless days. Two 8-man bands of F3 brothers, including the tenacious crew from F3 Roanoke, plunged into the wooded depths, each leg a visceral test of both sinew and spirit. The exchange points pulsed with nervous energy and booming cheers, a constant churn of muddy warriors slapping hands and red,green or yellow slap bands, and launching back into the fray, each returning with tales etched in sweat and dirt of hills conquered and obstacles overcome. The cloak of nightfall added a primal dimension, the solitary beams of headlamps slicing through the inky blackness as runners embraced the suck, their rhythmic footfalls a testament to unwavering resolve. The legendary Snuff, our self-proclaimed serpent sentinel, kept a watchful eye for any lurking copperheads, while the indomitable Dookie ventured into the moonlit gloom for his final leg, the eerie glint of deer and spider eyes his silent companions. Saturday witnessed a Herculean push towards the finish line, weary limbs somehow summoning hidden reserves, fueled by the unbreakable bonds of brotherhood and the tantalizing scent of victory. A few hard-fought tumbles punctuated the effort, gravity claiming victims as fatigued legs faltered on unseen roots. Sable spent his final yellow lap eating humble pies as he passed the camp walking when no one was watching.  Our fearless captain Belay was “on” as he completed impressive sub 40minute lap times and helped to tether us closer to an ever increasing finish time. A hearty AO clap goes out to Tin Man, our venerable 50-year-old camping virgin, who, between fits of side cramps, laid down impressive lap times with a stoic grin and minimal sleep. The Ragnar Trail at Pocahontas was a potent forge of F3 fellowship, pushing each man beyond perceived limits and hammering home the enduring strength of our shared commitment. By the time the final runner crossed, any semblance of machismo lay vanquished in the parking lot, a testament echoed by the announcer’s booming pronouncement of FNG “Catfish’s” triumphant completion. With such a solid group and a chance appearance from F3 “Last Time” may the low hanging fruit of this Richmond native CSAUP garner more than 2 teams in years to come.  Shall we stoke a rivalry with our Roanoke brethren to galvanize attendance.   This AI aided back blast brought to you by team AYE AYE co captain Machismo for his spin on II and AI interplay.  YHC is thankful for the brotherhood but also for a quiet bed tonight without bullfrogs, crickets, and geese.