10 shook off the Lure of the warm, cozy Fart Sack in favor of a socially-distanced, Hot Potato, First Watch Beat Down. Temps were, once again, Sunny and 70. According to the Dog Walker cutting straight through The Gloom, the Parking Lot, and the Beat Down, the following Likely Happened:
UpChuck Q – Mosey to the River Road Baptist Main Parking lot for The COP (n. singular. def. Circle of Pain. A set of stretches to start the Beat Down. It has Two Components. a) a Circle, and 2) Pain, usu. from Stretching (#stretching). Example: Today the COP was a beautiful COP, lotta people said it was the Best COP, the most Fabulous COP, but still the One-and-Only COP, unless the PAX Circles-Up later (read on to #FindOut), but otherwise, the other Stuff is not a COP, unless Her Car has Lights, and She yells at HoneyDo & Co to “get out of The Road,” and then that is a Lady Cop, which is an Honorable, yet Different, Thing):
Side-Straddle Hops (SSHs)
Hillbillies (with flair) (HBwF)
Dead Man Hang (DMH)
Jazzercises (Js)
Helicopters (Hs)
Little Baby Crunches (LBCs)
Freddy Mercurys (FMs)
Hand-Release ‘merican Push Ups (HRMs)
eHarmony (VQ-ish) Q: Mosey to the Auxiliary River Road Baptist Church Lot for a Triple Check. One man at each end of the lot, third man goes in between as the timer.
1st Man: Lunge one standard American mile, swap with 2nd Man, who was doing Flutter Kicks, who then returns the One Thousand Seven Hundred Sixty Yards to the 3rd Man, who has been Holding Plank. Do this for 10 total cycles (not 10 each PAX, but ten total for the group). As this evolution was done in a linear pattern, this was not a COP, but a LOP (Line of Pain, at best). At worst, YHC’s quads burned like a California forest (i.e., started small, burn spread all over).
Kubota Q: Straight Outta Quarantine, Kubota led the PAX in calisthenic (no “s” on that word).
Side-Straddle Hop (singular) – Rep x1, yet #InCadence, which, ahem, sounded Winded.
Since this was done with the PAX in the F3RVA version of a circle, this was a COP.
Wojo Q: Two Workouts Out of Quarantine, Wojo led the PAX back to the RRBC Main Parking Lot, pausing for the obligatory Standard American Push-Up x1 (aka, Merkin) at each Speed Bump (Bump, not Hump). First Watch #Traditions.
Dora: 1st Man ran to the parked busses (or is that buses – YHC never remembers and refuses to educate himself on this point). 2nd man started grinding through 100 HRMs, 200 Monkey Humpers, and 300 Little Baby Crunches.
Since this was also not done in a circle, this was not a COP. Also, since YHCs legs started #FeelingIt, YHC also does not believe this was a LOP, but more of a EOP, or Ellipse of Pain.
Handshake Q: Triple Check. 1st Man: Run to parked buses/busses (see above), 2nd Man: World War II Sit-ups (WWIIs), 3rd Man: Something Handshake called an “Iron Chair.” YHC thinks Handshake was having an 80s Flashback to Nicholai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik throwing a chair at Hulk Hogan. In lieu of understanding, the PAX did a People’s Chair. Regardless, not a COP.
UpChuck Q: Wait momentarily for The Six.
Handshake Attempted to Overturn the Q and issued a call of Side-Straddle Hops. But as Handshake lacked the Ghost Flag, the actual Q called a False Q. The PAX waited Patiently and only Momentarily, in a Circle, for The Six, which is our Custom.
UpChuck Q: Side-Straddle Hops. x5. This was a COP.
Mosey to the Auxiliary Parking Lot, stopping for a Special Request for World War II Sit-Ups at the scene of a prior Q. The PAX completed 5, more or less in a circle. This may have qualified as a COP.
Circle of Trust (COT): Number-am-a, Name-a-ram-a, Handshake took us out. This was a COT, not a COP, because, while the PAX was in a Circle, no Pain was shared, but rather only Thoughts, Banter, Pleasantries, and Best Wishes for a fine Week.
Announcements (Announcements):
At 6:00 p.m. (18:00 hours) on Wednesday, December 16, 2020, a group of F3RVA men are invited to assemble for a Hump Day (or is that Humpday?) Happy Hour including one or more malted adult beverages of their choice (or an alternative beverage of their choice) at the West Creek location of the Hardywood Brewing Company. PAX are also welcome to visit other locations, albeit without an expectation of Brotherhood.
10 Year F3 Anniversary has been Postponed. The Anniversary will Still Happen on January 1, 2021. The Global, albeit perhaps not Harmonic, Convergence is now scheduled for October, 2021. Cape Fear, NC, hosting. DeNiro has the Q. M’s welcome, but not Recommended.
Naked Moleskin (NMS):
YHC finds it Awesome to have Kubota and Wojo back from Corona Quarantine, which apparently involves being Alone in the Guest Bedroom in one’s Homestead for 14 days (and, YHC learned today, does not involve actual Limes or Coronas). #learning #growing. All Kidding Aside (AKA), this is huge. Fantastic to see these guys. Wojo noted that the experience is Brutal. and YHC believes he speaks for every PAX when he says that it was a) very positive to have both guys out today, and 2) important to remind them to, in the words of Eric Cartman, “keep the f@#k back, six f@#king feet.” YHC apologizes to Bodo’s for Modeling Poor Language (MPL).
YHC was inspired by eHarmony’s VQ today. Mr. Harmony has equal Burn in his Qs as in his Compliments. #TSSSS #FeartheLunge. #Solid. #FullVQComingSoon.
YHC, after 4.5 years of Brotherhood in F3, is Learning the Power of Leadership through Capitalization. Emphatic. Compelling. Bigger. #Shift+ #CapitalizationasLeadershipTool
UpChuck Spits the Bit.
