On a beautiful Thursday morning, 13 gridiron gents made their way to the football field to display unbelievable feats of glory and dynamic bursts of speed that would put professionals to shame. Warby wearing an authentic Brady jersey as he quests for more points to win the Summer Cup… Crabby wearing a Taylor Swift shirt of some type to inspire everyone to hate the Chiefs even more… and Rudy… um… Rudy using his ND football namesake… to … um… inspire hope… that just wasn’t there… again.
Led the Pax to the track where we warmed up with ole’ Side Straddle Hops, leg stretches, arm circles, and a NEW EXERCISE (which became our punishment when the other team scores) called “Donkey Clappers” – a sit up with a clap under your leg as you come up; alternating legs.
Teams were divided evenly 6 on 6 and the charitable team took on an extra player; the injured Cookie who broke both his fingers saving orphans from a fire or some story like that. Team 1: Fandango, Warby, Crabgrass, McGruff, Festivus, Flyboy, and Cookie vs. Team 2: Rudy, Orby, The Duke, Buckshot, Merman, and Bru.
The team punishment for the other team’s TD was 6 “Donkey Clappers” in honor of the 6 pts a TD is worth. Flyboy disputed this number and said let’s make it any number. We had to educate him on what TDs were actually worth in football without the extra point. He continued to “fly” off the topic and discuss more numbers and shape discrepancies.
Immediately, Team 1 was on the offensive attack scoring 5 TDs and Rudy’s team had 0. It was unprecedented from the numbers they were putting up. Warby and McGruff were overpowering the defense and scoring TDs like crazy. Fandango’s throws were surgeon-like and precise, Crabgrass was a technician finding open receivers left and right, moving the balls to the right location, Festivus used his elusiveness to get open constantly, Flyboy and Cookie had locked down defense across the middle and on deep threats. Team 2 tried… it was cute… they tried.
Team 1 gathered together and collectively decided that since we were in the spirit of GIVING (a whoopin’ to Team 2) that we should give up a player to help. Rudy didn’t WANT a player, but we know what Rudy NEEDS sometimes and Crabgrass decided he would help lift Rudy up and went over to Team 2. Not only did we, Team 1, take on an injured player from the start, but we charitably gave a rocket of an arm and a hell of a tactician to Team 2.
Team 2 now marched up and down the field, cutting up Team 1 with passes from The Duke, to Merman, to Orby, to Buckshot, to Bru and to the endzone. Rudy was pretty contained for the most part with triple coverage. Soon, the score was 5-1, then 5-2, 5-3, 5-4, … it was looking like a game finally. Maybe… just maybe… they could comeback and raise Rudy up on their shoulders in a GAME WINNING TOUCHDOWN AND COMEBACK FOR THE AGES …
But … nah… this ain’t that kinda a story, bruv!
But then, the heroes of Team 1 gathered up their strength and said “Don’t break tradition! Rudy’s gotta lose!” This mantra, like lava festering in a volcano waiting to explode, erupted onto the field and Team 1 using their unbelievable strategy of dink, dunk, fake right, fake left, LONG BOMB to our open man, scored to make it 6-4. Then, with insult to injury, scored again to make the final score 7 – 4… The heroes of the game… the charitable team that took on an injured player… that kicked off first… that gave up a player to help… that LET the other team score to feel good about themselves… THAT TEAM won the game!
But it’s not about the game… it’s about waking up in the morning and going out with a bunch of like minded souls to play like our childhood selves… because one day, one day will be the last day we will ever be able to run again… catch a football in full sprint again… laugh with the boys on a field of battle again… Today … we all won in the game of life (bumper sticker). Today, we all put the player who we think we are up on our teams shoulders and carried him off the field… to fight another day. Well done, men.
Points given out today:
Deadly Combo : Warby + McGruff (1pt each)
Defensive Juggernaut: Crabgrass = played defense for BOTH TEAMS (1pt)
Best Dressed: Warby = Wore an actual Tom Brady Jersey to the game; females ripped it off his chiseled body before the game was played (1pt)
Ended with COT; discussed VQ week next week : The Duke -Monday, Festivus – Tuesday, Flyboy – Thursday, Matlock – Friday
