Tag: Timberwolf

  • Runners are people too AKA worlds worst 5k

    Having earned a first round bye in the 2026 IronPAX challenge, we hit the Timberwolf track on Wednesday. Here is how it went down:

    Runners Are People Too

    • Format
      • 45-minute AMRAP
      • Counting the total number of complete 400-meter laps
        • If time stops and you’re in the middle of the lap, it does not count. Whole numbers only.
    • Equipment
      • Standard Coupon
      • 400 meters measured out
    • The Thang
      • Start the timer
      • Run 400 meters
      • After 400 meters, complete
        • 10 Thrusters
        • 10 Bonnie Blairs (right leg-left leg = 1 rep)
        • 10 Jungle Boy Squats
        • 10 Bonnie Blairs (right leg-left leg = 1 rep)
        • 10 Thrusters
      • Continue the pattern until time is called
    • Scoring
      • Count the total number of 400-meter laps in 45 minutes

    also we had Nancy, Dumar, and Doozy who represented the tin foil pax and did their own beatdown consisting mostly of a light pole alley. Great work today fellas, on to round 2!

    announcement:

    9/11 Ruck on Friday at 8pm kicking off from The Alamo.

  • VO2 Max

    our Sunday tradition continues. 3 PAX members gathered at the track and ran their little hearts out. Cooler, slightly humid, wonderful sunrise

  • The Keller WOD (Week 0)

    PAX met block in hand on the fields of Timberwolf. Blocks courtesy of Crabby. TCLAPS especially to Snookie for making the long journey to get and IPC workout. Everyone killed it. Here’s how it went down and what it’s all about:

    IronPAX Challenge 2026 Week 0 – Keller WOD

    We finished these with time remaining so some walking around the track followed by some MARY.

  • “Winners win”… Rudy Can Say that now!

    9 HIMs showed up, 8 salty grid iron vets and 1 plucky FNG.

    Teams: Team 1 “The Heroes” – Fandango, Warby, Wildcat, Rudy; Team 2 “The Villains” – Crabgrass, Da Bear, The Duke, Festivus, FNG

    4 vs 5 … nothing we haven’t encountered before… Heroes fight the odds… Heroes show up when out numbered… Heroes don’t back down (unless to catch their breath several times)…

    Team 1 started strong and kept the gas pedal down for most of the game to get a commanding lead of 5-3… then 6-3… the 7 – 3. It was around 7-3 that the Villains who were graciously sitting one person out to even up the field (and rest a fresh man but we won’t hold that against them) decided that they needed the 5th man on the field because THE HEROES were Fantastic Four horsemen of their apocalypse. The Villains finally were able to catch up to 5-7 and decided on a KICK that would tie the game if they made it. It all relied on one foot… Not Festivus crooked toes… But Crabby and his unstoppable nature to always strategize to get the upper hand (Like the Patriots Dynasty)… Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead… focus was paid to the ball in his hand… he kicked … for the tie?!?!?!! Did he make it?!?!?!?!?!

    Crabby is the NEW RUDY now!

    Wide Left…. MISS!

    THE HEROES WON!!!

    Highlights from the game:

    • Warby with some amazing TDs after he exercised the demons from his hands; it seemed like this man was a man playing among little blind kids who couldn’t find him.
    • RUDY with some flash of Lynn Swann catching… hands so soft that balls fall easily into them. So happy for this deep field threat… Thunder Dolphin … Sleek, gliding in and out, cuts through the school of fish and end up jumping out of the water to catch the ball… truly amazing. INT at goalline to stop TD!!!
    • Wildcat… THIS MAN CANNOT BE COVERED OR STOPPED! A force to be reckoned with… a cheetah flying through the Serengeti hunting his prey. PICK 6!!!
    • Fandango… Dropping Dimes every where he threw the ball… seemed like he couldn’t miss… balls on your chest… BOOM! You now an Only Fans model from him!
    • Crabby … amazing leadership and fortitude… a true Captain of the Titanic.
    • Festivus … This man is always a deep ball threat and very cunning in his route choices. Elusive
    • Da Bear, his skills are dangerous… defense always but now an offensive threat that we need to worry about…
    • The Duke… Man can get the ball down the field and can be right in tune with his team on where to go andf how to do it with effective strikes
    • FNG… “Pick”… he did well his first time…
    • Interceptions: Fandango, Wildcat PICK 6!!!, Rudy AT THE GOALINE TO STOP A TD, FNG Pick got his first pick…(All INTs thrown by Crabby I believe… sloppy throws)

    Prayers – Tzatziki’s father, Wildcat got good news w/ positive scans

  • This one’s for you, Rooster

    Ultimate Frisbee | Team 1 def. Team 2, 10-6
    Team 1: Fandango, Flyboy, Festivus, Da Bear
    Team 2: Crabgrass, Rudy, Orange Crush, Squash

    Light was short, so the field got short, and that turned out to be the best decision anybody made all morning. Less real estate, more chaos. Score early, score often, no time to catch your breath between points.

    It was a knife fight through the first half. 1-1. 2-2. 3-3. Neither side could string two together. Every possession felt like it mattered because it did.

    Highlight of the day belonged to Da Bear, who cashed in a disc that Orange Crush got a fingertip on. Tipped, floating, everybody stopped for a half-second to figure out where it was going — except Da Bear, who was already there. Touchdown and a permanent spot in the group chat.

    Which brings us to the call.

    Da Bear claimed Crabgrass got a hand on the disc while it was still in the thrower’s hand. Replay — and by replay I mean four sets of eyeballs and the laws of physics — clearly showed the disc had left. HIGHLY questionable. Capital letters were used at the time. But this is F3, not the NFL, so we moved on like gentlemen.

    Crabgrass did, however, begin narrating every subsequent swat. Dikembe finger wag included. “CLEAR OF THE HAND.” Every single time. Purely for the historical record.

    That woke Team 2 up. Rudy went full Rudy — a couple of catches out there that had no business being completed, the kind where you’re already conceding the point and then he’s standing in the end zone holding the disc. We clawed all the way back to 6-6 and the momentum was ours.

    And then we hit the wall. Team 1 tightened up on D, extended their cherry-picking range to roughly the parking lot, and we couldn’t get bodies back in transition fast enough. They closed it out 10-6.

    MOLESKIN

    Short field is the move. Put it in the rotation.

    Even Superman doesn’t win every day. Not every day is yours. But this story ends with Team 2 as Superman — we’re just in the part of the movie where he’s flat on his back in the crater.

    Rematch. Same teams. Bring the replay official.

  • Some put the “foot” in Football

    6 HIMs showed up on a beautiful dark Thursday morning to play Ultimate Football. Some slept in…(Couch)….Lights lit up the arena and the game was commenced with what we thought was honor and respect for the catching abilities some possess.

    Teams were selected:

    Team 1 = Crabby, Festivus, & Cookie

    Team 2 = Fandango, Hei-Hei- & Flyboy.

    Team 1 and Team 2 exchanged early blows in TDs to be tied 2-2 … BUT THEN… Team 2 exploded and scored multiple times with rigorous combinations that Team 1 didn’t know what hit them to put Team 1 up 5-2… Team 2 had the playing ability edge here with their fast feet and hands… Team 1, not so much hands. So, going through the rules, Team 1 looked at their deceptive hands a knew that they couldn’t win with these sloppy, clumsy, useless hands… they opted to using the kicking rule for 2 TDs worth and succeeded in their first attempt with Crabby kicking it through the uprights. 5-4 now. Team 2 struck back with a kick of their own to show HOW EASY it was and Team 1 tried again but Crabby couldn’t find the magic anymore. 7-4 now. Team 1 kicked again, missing,… kicked again, making it and then added on a solo TD to tie the game 7 -7 with time just barely on the clock. Team 2 played the game RIGHT… THEY PLAYED THE GAME RIGHT! But Team 1 NEEDED to kick again and ended up going over the time and it ended in a TIE. Officially a TIE. 7-7

    Had the kick rule not been implemented… Had “baby P.I.” not been called on Hei-Hei… Had Festivus not sunk so low as to bloody Hei -Hei in the lip to slow him down… Had all these factors not have happened… Team 1 was the real losers today with the score truly being 5 -3… Team 2 won the game… the pure game of Ultimate Football…

    However, because Team 1 couldn’t play ball like men, they were gifted points from kicks and the score was 9 -7 off a Festivus kick (Yawn).

    Highlights:

    Team 1 kicks because they can’t f***ing play with their hands….

    Team 2 was masterful: Hei-Hei laying out for passes, Fandango being a pornstar hitting chests with his balls, and Flyboy using his burst of 5 second speed to run past the snoring Team 1 to score some amazing catches.

    COT – Stuff this Friday with F3 and wings and pool, Rucking 9.11, and we prayed for us having a beautiful day.

  • Frisbee of the Ultimate Variety

    Pad Thai blocked Crabby’s throw.

  • (Pen)Ultimate Frisbee

    Fun continues to be had, so fun must continue. With light fading, we’re running our of time to run around the field chasing an object, but may have to run it back one more time next week…

    Side note: If you enjoy sitting on benches in Sri Lanka, Warby has some new feet pics for you.

    Team COOKIE – Superhuman Snip + 5 average joes

    Team HEIST – Heist, Crabby, Flyboy, Polar Bear, Festivus, Warby, Machismo

    Team Cookie scored quickly, but Team Heist bounced right back to tie it up, then the grumbling of the ‘extra man’ began. Traded scores again and HEIST went up 3-2. Here, we decided to sit our extra man, and eventually got to 4-4 I believe.

    And then Snip decided that he wasn’t messing around anymore. This KG story sums up what happened:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGVdZ156is4

    It was a blur, but what I do remember is it went from 4-4 to 4-9, Pad Thai, Fandango, Da Bear, Posey were catching dimes in the back of the end zone, in the corner, down the middle – all out assault. Team Heist did not have an answer today

    Kudos to Team Cookie, great game! Fun was had by all

    8/21 SATANS HILL CLUBHOUSE – F3 Hot Ones challenge, bring the family, pool will be open 5-8pm

    9/11 Friday Night Ruck 8pm – 11:30pm Meet @ ALAMO

    Prayers for Speakeasy and Meatball

  • Penultimate Football

    As the morning sun fades away each week, the PAX vocabulary begins to increase and we say things like penultimate and connoisseur. By the exercise of our conjoined faculties, we did devise and promulgate certain rules, which are hereby elevated and enshrined as binding law, of formidable force and effect, henceforth and in perpetuity.

    Said rules:
    Tightened up the field based on 8 players.
    Wide end zones
    Touchback and kick off markers (10 paces from endzone)
    Established a permanent FG kick attempt area
    Interception runner rule
    QB lateral and reversal movements
    10 Mississippi

    Using skills-based matchmaking, YHC put everyone in pairs and had Pad Thai and Festivus flip for first pick, then went through each pairing and selected them for each team. Teams felt balanced, may do this again.

    Team 1 – Festivus, Rudy, Matlock, Squash

    Team 2 – Crabby, Pad Thai, Hei Hei, Cookie

    Sluggish start as we found our sea legs and got used to the wet ball. Despite the larger end zone, Festivus still managed to go outside the end line, and T2 held a 1-0 lead. T1 tied it up, then T2 scored back to back to go up 3-1, but quickly relinquished the lead to a 3-3 tie.

    T1 then began to build some cushion, I believe being up 6-4. T2 tried to take advantage a poor kick off and declared a kick. Cookie stepped up to the plate and hit a boomer, but just like a Jake Elliott extra point attempt, it missed just right. T2 did rally and come back to tie the game. No time left on the clock, next team wins.

    T2 eventually pushed towards the goal line, with the ball in Cookie’s hands at the 2 yard line – one play to win it all. Like a classic 90’s movie, time slowed down, the roar of the crowd was drawn out, defense was smothering and had us on lock down and was aggressively counting Mississippi’s. None of that fazed Cookster, standing tall and poised, he kept his eyes locked and his arm loaded, waiting for the defenders to slip up. Crabby made a break to the back corner and just like Kelce and Mahomes, the connection was automatic and Cookie hit Kelce…err..Crabby in stride, who dunked the ball on the goal post in celebration.

    7-6, but we were all winners today, great game and everyone was making plays all over the field today.

  • “In your name we play, Amen!”

    Where rain maybe threatened our good time this morning, none fell upon us on this glorious morning and game of Ultimate Football… except a rain cloud did follow a certain team in the end.

    New Rules were applied: 1. A team can attempt a kick from 25yds out through the uprights and earn 2 TDs. 2. A defender who intercepts a pass can free run but also give up his run and throw while running forward. Once pass is caught, he is no longer the free runner. 3. Thrower can not advance forward but can scramble back as many steps as possible and left and right but cannot break the defenders established line. Defender can press upon thrower which moves the line wherever the defender moves to.

    Team Captains Da Bear & Cookie picked formidable teams.

    Cookie Monsters = Cookie, Crabby, Rudy, Pad Thai, Matlock.

    Da Bears 85 Team = Da Bear, Fandango, Warby, Festivus, Hei Hei

    The stage was set and highlights were flowing.

    • Da Bears 85 shot to a commanding lead 3 -0. Cookie Monsters fought back to even it 3-3.
    • Da Bear made some awesome catches, an almost pick 6 with burning Rudy on the outside but the leaping leprechaun got him barely with two sweaty hands and a frightened heart that said “I’m glad I wasn’t a penny on Da Bear train tracks!”
    • Rudy had some deep ball catches that solidified why he is a solid pick. This elusive SOB was leaving DeLorean fire tracks all over the field… his routes looked like Ray Charles taking a piss in the snow spelling his name.
    • Festivus strategized perfectly on his offense and defense to be the biggest threat out there on the field. Swatting down passes and catching some hot streaking passes.
    • Warby was unstoppable in his game play. The man was open every time. The man was reliable every time. The man… was THE MAN out there.
    • Matlock, Cookie, and Fandango were good game managers and moved the ball well with the precision of surgeons cutting up their patients.
    • Hei Hei with the BALL RIPPING grip out of Rudy’s small, elfish hands that made him the reason we call him “G.I. Joe” and “Army Strong”… Strong enough to earn that ball from Rudy.
    • Pad Thai was way too quick and elusive.. always slipping coverage and being open and using his golden arm to move his team down the field.
    • Crabgrass, even though he was harnessing his Mahomes from the Tampa Bay Super Bowl Loss and Eagles Super Bowl Loss, was able to do stuff that still had our defense confused and off balance. Picking his targets and using the scramble video game mode to find his footing to launch. Sometimes heroes bleed … Sometimes heroes live long enough to become the villain… Sometimes heroes need to start with “the man in the mirror, asking him to change his ways, no message could have been clearer, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change… It’s gonna feel real good, shamone!”

    Today was a beautiful day for a game made for boys where we as men showed up and relived our backyards heroics.

    COT: We still pray for OHES nurse.

    “In your name we play, Amen”