F3 do what F3 do. Brothers of the gloom are always a little extra, today 2 were extra extra.
Author: EF Hutton
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Most Simplest
Sixteen gathered on time to receive YHC’s most simplest directions ever. Here’s where they went:
The Route
4s
- Through campus around the baseball field left on College, right on Lakewood, right on Westham Pkwy
5s
- Head out UR Drive, right on Crenshaw, left on Westhampton Way, across College to Glen Pkwy, right on Westham Pkwy
6s
- Head out UR Drive, left on River, through the shopping center, right on Westham Station, continue up S Ridge, bear right onto Westham Pkwy
All Runners:
- Continue up Westham Pkwy
- Right on Patterson
- Right on Ridge Top
- Left on Wheeler through the path to College
- Right on College
- Return via Robins Center parking lot
- 5s add a trip around the lake
Numberama, Nameorama, COT
MOLESKIN
For a dude with a reputation for not talking, YHC’s directions tend to be long, drawn out, and complicated. Today’s route was YHC’s best attempt at a simple route not called Grooooove or Over the Bridge. Seems the mission was accomplished. Next time we’ll see if we can break the record for most turns. If Shake tries to make out with you today, don’t let him.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Bone Thugs is planning a Tax Day Trot on April 15th – route from Mary to the Huguenot Bridge with various methods of return, approximately 8 miles. More details to follow. Sadly, for those of us in the Biz, tax day lingers on until Monday the 18th.
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Detoxin
As YHC lay in bed at 0430 awake and running through all the reasons to go back to sleep he remembered a quote from the great Tombstone character Doc Holliday, “nonsense, I have not yet begun to defile myself.” So up and at em, 2 miles there, 1 mile back, and a porta-potty just where it needed to be for a quick mid-run detox. Haters will say it’s fake.
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Devil’s Perineum
Elevenish guys took on the hills of First Watch covering roughly 2.5 miles with some exercises along the way.
Here’s what transpired:
Long slowsey to the dead end of Ross Rd now better known as Satan’s Taint.
COP
- Don Quixotes
- Copperhead Squats
- Jazzercises
- Helicopters
- Merkins
- Mountain Climbers
Double Trouble
- P1 – Run to turnaround point A and back
- P2 – Lt. Dans
- 10 Booyah Merkins and Flip
- All – Mosey to point A (sorry, no rest for P2)
- P1 – Run to turnaround point B and back
- P2 – Crunchy Frogs
- 10 Booyah Merkins and Flip
- All – Mosey to point B
- Repeato 2 more rounds to point C & D
Mosey back to parking lot and retrieve coupons
Double Impact
- P1 – Murder Bunnies, Walkout Squat Thrusters, Overhead Carry width of parking lot and back
- P2 – Incline Merkins, Dips, Decline Merkins on guard rail
Mosey back to flag
Numberama, Nameorama, COT
MOLESKIN
YHC broke the Q code, albeit unintentionally, but is now Jacka$$ for the day. Sincerest apology to all. As things went a little sideways, the oversharing became somewhat secondary. Or maybe YHC just missed it. Did hear that Doublemint has standard and electric toothbrushes packed for the week ahead. Great coffeteria as always. Don’t pair with Ronnie for movie trivia unless the category is about Jackies.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Great to have new faces at FW, please come back
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Waterpik Bank
Three dudes who refuse to let Breakfast Club die did the thing before and after the bigger thing. Mumblechatter was deep and thought provoking, only those who post know.
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JMU, the HGTV of Colleges
Fifteen heeded YHC’s directions with blank stares, somehow all returned safely. Here’s where they went:
The Route
4s
- Head up UR Drive to Campus
5s/6s
- Veer right up sidewalk through gate to Roselawn
- Left on Campus
All Runners:
- Take the path from College & Campus over to Wheeler
- Left on Wheeler
- Right on Horsepen
4s:
- Left on Patterson
- Left on Sweetbriar
5s/6s
- Left on Normandy and cross Patterson to Sweetbriar
All Runners:
- Left on Baldwin
4s
- Continue on Baldwin returning by way of Wood/Lakewood/College through the Robins Center parking lot
5s/ 6s
- Right on Westham
5s
- Left on Lakewood returning by way of College
6s
- Left on Club Vista returning by way of College
Numberama, Nameorama, COT
MOLESKIN
Make it hard and the PAX will like it, YHC repeated to himself while cursing the trek up Horsepen. The directions seemed complex, but it was really just a loop, perhaps the delivery needs work. Post run mumblechatter focused on the neutrality and general likeability of JMU compared to UVA. Apparently Dentists have HGTV on in their waiting rooms because it is the most neutral and calming channel on TV. Nonsense, paint colors get YHC fired up just in time to get poked and prodded and further annoyed. And HGTV has turned many a neighbor to foe.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
See Hitch about a thing, sshhhh
Ramp build this Thursday – 2 spots remain open – See Corned Beef
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Playing with Friends’ Toys
Nine PAX joined YHC for the last January 2022 Hoedown that will ever exist and left with flashbacks of Merkin month.
Here’s what transpired:
Mosey to front of school
COP
- Don Quixotes
- Helicopters
- Dead Man Hang
- Grab the Sky
- Copperhead Squats
- Imperial Walkers
- Merkins
- LBCs
Mosey to parking lot hill
Bernies and Burpees
- P1 – Bernie x 3
- P2 – Burpees (combine for 75)
Mosey to the recess field
Triple Check 1
- P1 – Pullups
- P2 – WWIIs in the snow
- P3 – Run over and back, stopping for 5 Dips
Mosey to other side of field
Merkin Ladder
- 1 Merkin, run across field, 2 Merkins, run back, 3….17 + 1 bonus round
Mosey to the Horseshoe
Triple Check 2
- P1 – People’s Chair
- P2 – Freddie Mercurys
- P2 – Run the loop
Mosey 3 feet across the sidewalk
PLTs 3×20
Plankorama into a Ring of Fire
Mosey back to the Flag
Numberama, Nameorama, COT
MOLESKIN
Pre-beatdown mumblechatter had to do with Faceplant and Hitch’s playdate. Faceplant says Hitch has better toys at his house. YHC remembered thinking his friend’s parents had the world’s coolest van because it had a 4×4 inch black and white television mounted in the ceiling in 1985. UpChuck had terrible toys as a kid and still does as a grown up. Jacks tournament at his house next Thursday.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Happy Hour – Wednesday new southside Triple Crossing
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BD Integrity
Twelve men pushed themselves without hurting themselves through the neighborhood adjacent to Mary Munford to Reveille Church and back. Triple checks, partner work, merkins, squats, moseys, curb crawls, etc.
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Breaking Down Tyranny
Even with 3 regulars on assignment, FW saw 10 freedom fighters arise to put in work before the dawn of a new day.
Here’s what transpired:
Mosey to Henrico’s smallest park.
COP
- Russian Soldiers
- Copperhead Squats
- Arm Circles
- Jazzercises
- Plankorama
- Mountain Climbers
- Plank Jacks
- Heels to Heaven
Mosey to Cameron/Thom loop
Solo Dora
- At 5 intersections 20/40/60 Merkins, Squats, LBCs
Mosey back to parking lot
Beast (Up one side, down the other)
- R1 – Monkey Humpers
- R2 – Carolina Dry Docks
- R3 – Lunges
- R4 – WWIIs
- R5 – Alternate Wide/Diamond Merkins
- R6 – Reverse Crunches (Bear Crawl between every other set)
Mosey back to flag
Mary (American Hammers, APDs)
Burpees x 3 OYO
Numberama, Nameorama, COT
MOLESKIN
Every man dies, not every man truly lives. Oppressed by the tyranny of the 3-day rule, Bacon Bits said give me Freedom and tore down those walls. Now he truly lives. May all PAX truly live.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Ramp Builds – See Corned Beef
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Breakfast Club Explosion
Men traveled from far and wide to experience the magic of an EFH pre and post DogPile Q. None left disappointed. A raucous 3 mile round trip jaunt through the mean streets of Maymont and surrounding neighborhoods. No man left behind, well almost.