Author: EF Hutton

  • Average Age is Respect

    4 studs with a combined 200 years were not afraid of the icy conditions.  Two routes were offered, here was the unanimous pick: 

    All Runners – Campus Loops (Total 2.4 miles):

    • UR Drive to Westhampton Way, continue on Crenshaw back to VSF (1.6)
    • Continue past lake merging right up Richmond Way to UR Drive and back to VSF (.8)

    4s:

    • Repeato Loop 1

    5s

    • Repeato Loop 1 and 2

    6s

    • Repeato Loop 1, 2, plus Runner’s choice 1 or 2

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Conditions were less than perfect, but better than expected.  Shoutout to the UR maintenance department.  The way Saab zipped around campus you’d think there was no ice.  While the rest of the PAX waited Saab to finish, the discussion focused on the luxury of heated seats and the even better air-conditioned seats.  Which apparently is like rubbing menthol on your ball$.  No falls or injuries to report.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Happy New Year

  • Fresh Guacamole and the Roof

    Six arose to outrageously warm temps in celebration of National Short Film Day F3RVA style.  A day late, but who’s counting.

    Here’s what transpired:

    EF Hutton Q:

    Mosey to Henrico’s smallest park.

    COP

    • SSHs
    • Russian Soldiers
    • Helicopters
    • Copperhead Squats
    • HRMs
    • Suzanne Somers L/R
    • Heels to Heaven
    • Jazzercises

    Mosey back to rear of Church

    Prostitute – 4 Corners but return to the same corner stopping at the previous corner each time

    • Merkins x 10, Monkey Humpers x 20, Freddie Mercurys x 30 (2ct), SSHs x 40

    Handshake Q:

    Mosey to coupon stash

    Triple Check

    • P1 – Curls
    • P2 – Overhead Press
    • P3 – Run the loop

    Kubota Q:

    Conveyor Belt (3 rounds?)

    • P1 – Squat
    • P2 – Murder Bunnies between P1 and P3
    • P3 – Lt. Dans

    Honeydo Q:

    • PLTs 3×20
    • 50yds of Bear Crawl
    • Mary (WWIIs, Reverse Crunches, APDs)

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Unsure of his availability for the morning, UpChuck called upon YHC to deliver the final First Watch December gifts and to manage the Q.  Hot Potato was the call.  In honor of National Short Film Day and UpChuck’s acquaintance PES who was nominated for an Academy Award for his short film Fresh Guacamole, all PAX in attendance received a Marvel Superhero PEZ dispenser.  PES’s first short film Roof Sex was not nominated for an Oscar but entertaining, nonetheless.  Viewer discretion is advised.  Also discussed during the beatdown, what would be more delicious, BaconDo or HoneyBits? 

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Ramp Builds – See Corned Beef

    Thanks to those who contributed shoes/ clothes

    Continued prayers for UpChuck’s and Gomer Pyle’s families

    Convergence 1/1 at Rock’N’Roll 7am

  • The Christmas Pill

    Promises of red and green holiday cheer tempted 8 to rise earlier than most. 

    Here’s what transpired:

    Mosey to the church patio. 

    COP

    • SSHs
    • Copperhead Squats
    • Helicopters
    • Russian Soldiers
    • HRMs
    • Plankorama
    • Freddie Mercurys

    Mosey back to rear of SF parking lot

    Endless Escalator – Exercise 1, Run a Lap, Exercise 1 + 2, Run a Lap, Exercise 1+2+3, Run…..Exercise 1-10 and Run a Lap (20 reps of each exercise)

    1. Merkins (200 total)
    2. Imperial Squat Walkers single count (180)
    3. WWIIs (160)
    4. Carolina Dry Docks (140)
    5. Dips (120)
    6. Crunchy Frogs (100)
    7. Block Curls (80)
    8. Block Thrusters (60)
    9. Heels to Heaven (40)
    10. Burpees (20)
    11. Reverso from 10 to 1, if necessary

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Given that a year had passed since the last dose of green cheer was served up, YHC figured it was time to bring out the dry erase board for some GP newbs and for the vets to measure improvement over the last year.  YHC has proudly gotten a half-lap better in the past year, but only Handshake can claim victory and ownership of the Green Toothbrush award yet again.  The vets and rookies alike crushed it but may have to wait another year to get their name and picture on the virtual wall of fame.  YHC continued the tradition of giving gifts to the PAX in December.  Fireman Grinch threatens to ruin Christmas by delivering Jets swag to all the naughty PAX next Wednesday. 

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Rosie’s 12 Days Tuesday at NoToll

    Convergence 1/1 at Rock’N’Roll 7am

  • Love Your Neighbor

    Nineteen Road Warriors expecting a more complicated set of directions than actual route, got just that.  Here’s where they went: 

    All Runners:

    • UR Drive out to River Rd

    5s/6s

    • Do a loop of Westhampton Way – Keller – Crenshaw

    All Runners:

    • Cross River through the shopping center onto Westham Station
    • Right on Panorama to top and back down
    • Continue on Westham Station
    • Right on Old Bridge and veer right onto Highland to top and back down

    4s

    • Return via Westham Station through the Batcave

    5s/6s

    • Take 2nd tine of Old Bridge to dead-end and back down

    5s

    • Return via Westham Station through the Batcave

    6s

    • Continue on Westham Station to S. Ridge up to Overlook and back down
    • Return via Westham Station through the Batcave

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Throughout the holiday season YHC is continuously reminded he is blessed and to love his neighbors.  While running up Highland, YHC couldn’t help but wonder if those residents remember this message, even the neighbor with the inflatable outhouse.  That sh*tter is always full.  Happy Birthday to Pucker.  He snuck that by this morning, but Facebook never forgets.  Thanks for following my complex routes throughout the year.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Corned Beef is looking for a group of 5 additional guys to build a ramp through project:HOMES

    Rosie’s 12 Days next Tuesday at NoToll

    Prayers for Bone Thugs father

  • IR Friendly Beatdown?

    No pulpits were smashed in the making of the latest Hoedown, here’s what did transpire.

    Mosey around front of school

    COP (IC)

    • DQs
    • Copperhead Squats
    • Helicopters
    • Arm Circles
    • SSHs
    • Merkins
    • Mountain Climbers
    • Crabcakes
    • Flutter Kicks

    Mosey down Forest and hang a left on Spottswood

    DORA

    • P1 – HRMs x 100, Reverse Crunches x 200, SSHs x 300
    • P2 – Run up the big hill to the first SUV on the right

    Mosey back to TES parking lot hill

    11s (Bernie in between exercises up parking lot hill to fence)

    • Burpees
    • Heels to Heaven

    Mosey to blacktop

    Triple Check

    • P1 – Captain Morgan Squats
    • P2 – Mountain Climbers
    • P3 – Bear Crawl to dotted line, run to fence and back

    Mosey to Horseshoe infield

    • 17 Merkins & 4 Burpess for the Washington Football Team

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    YHC received a text from UpChuck last evening to let him know he’d likely need to modify due to his ongoing injuries.  Not to worry YHC hadn’t planned to hit the upper body and legs too hard.  Wait, nevermind, sorry Pal.  Today’s version of 11s was truly awful, expect to see it again.  Bodos is really good at smashing things, not so good at counting beyond 100.  Apparently, Pigskin’s headlamp produces 1,000,000 candlepower.  Who knew that was a thing?  As always, thanks for following YHC’s lead.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Clothing and shoe drive – See Gypsy

    12 Days of Rosie’s Christmas – Dec 21 at NoToll

    Punisher Happy Hour 6pm tonight – See Slack later today for location

  • Is This the Dumb Part?

    Sixteen of RVA’s finest posted on a brisk Fall morn.  Here’s what went down.

    Mosey to grassy circle

    COP (IC)

    • Don Quixotes
    • Copperhead Squats
    • Helicopters
    • SSHs
    • Jazzercises
    • HRM (15 ct)
    • Plankorama
    • Freddie Mercurys

    Mosey to bottom of Amphitheater

    Self-Destruction (1 rep 3 exercises on first step, 2 on 2nd, 3 on 3rd,….18)

    • Merkins (171 ct)
    • Imperial Squats 2 ct
    • Heels to Heaven

    Mosey to the stage and grab a coupon for each set of partners

    Mosey to Carillon field

    Partner Chase

    • P1 – Run to end of field and back
    • P2 – Exercise toward partner (Bear Crawl w/ Block, Walkout Squat Thrusters, Murder Bunnies)

    Mosey back to deposit coupons at stage

    Lil bit o Mary

    Mosey to Rusty Cage

    Jack Webb (1:4 Ratio – end at 10:40)

    • Pullups or Jerkins / Monkey Humpers

    Mosey back to Flag

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Note to YHC, 171 2 ct Imperial Squats can fill an hour quickly.  Was really planning to do the Partner Chase up and back on the field, but time did not allow.  During the disclaimer YHC made the comment, if I suggest you do something dumb let me know and modify as necessary.  When Jazzercises was called Gomer asked aloud if this is the part where we’re doing something dumb.  Anything good enough for Richard Simmons, should be good enough for Gomer Pyle in YHC’s opinion.  Great to Q at DogPile, have only done it a handful of times in 6 years.  Thanks to everyone for following my lead.  If you rarely Q, give it a go.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Shoe and clothing drive – See Gypsy

    Congrats and thanks to Bone Thugs for sharing his testimony – Check Slack for Podcast link

    Thanksgiving Convergence @ Mary – See TYA

    Black Friday Loops @ Forest Hill Park – See TYA

  • Breakfast Club MTV

    Three braved the first sub 30 morning of Fall to get in miles before and after the big show. Hitch hit a few hip hop steps along the way. Zesty queso bacon biscuits were top notch.

  • The Semi Pill

    Nine moseyed around the phallic shaped Cameron loop receiving bits of the green pill.

    Mosey to Church patio

    COP (IC)

    • Imaginary Jump Rope
    • Don Quixotes
    • Hillbillies
    • Jazzercises
    • Copperhead Squats
    • HRM (10 2ct)
    • Plankorama
    • Freddie Mercurys

    Mosey to Ridge and Cameron

    Compounding exercises at each intersection

    • Merkins (140 ct)
    • Imperial Squats (120 2ct)
    • WWIIs (100 ct)
    • Carolina DD (80 ct)
    • SSHs (60 ct)
    • American Hammers (40 2ct)
    • Burpees (20 ct)

    Mosey back to the parking lot and over to guardrails

    11s

    • Dips/ Reverse Crunches

    Incline Merkins (10 2ct)

    Decline Merkins (10 2ct)

    Mary

    • Alabama Prom Dates
    • LBCs

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    YHC thought it would be exciting to take the green pill, but with UpChuck downrange the idea was to just play with it a little.  As the PAX did the last round of Burpees, Last Call noted that it felt similar to the GP.  Glad that was apparent.  Lucky for the PAX, time did not allow for a new type of suck YHC had planned.  Enjoyed the coffeteria Handshake.  By YHC’s count, 200 total Merkins not including Burpees.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Prayers for Last Call’s boss’s family

  • Time For A Shirt

    Fifteen for YHC’s newest route, 15 turns, 2 roads, more or less.  Here’s the route: 

    All Runners:

    • UR Drive to Campus to Towana and reverso at Three Chopt
    • Continue Campus to Boatwright and reverso at Three Chopt

    4s:

    • Continue Boatwright to College
    • L on Westhampton Way
    • R on Crenshaw
    • L on UR Drive back to the Flag

    5s/6s

    • Take path from Campus to Wheeler
    • L on Wheeler
    • R on Ridgetop
    • 5s – Reverso at Devon
    • 6s – Reverso at Patterson
    • Pick up with 4s Route

    6s

    • Add Bostwick when reversing down Towana/Campus

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    No parking form police out this morning, just the fashion police.  Bone Thugs was ridiculed for his choice of attire then missed the route instructions while changing.  He found his own guiding lights.  TYA supports women’s rights, but also might burn for it.  He can tell you all about it.  YHC also learned that TYA only wears a shirt after DST, like Searsucker after Labor Day or the other way around.  All routes were precise when mapped out, all who fell short can call the hotline, but YHC imagines coming up a little short is par for the course for many of us.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Black Friday Loops – 7am Forest Hill Park

    Congrats to Swiper, Anthrax, and Seymour on their recent races

  • Bush/ Quayle ’88

    Three gloom brothers ran the miles to earn their wokest of biscuits. One gloom bro skipped the miles and went straight to the payoff. Handshake pondered the EB staff’s reactions if he showed up in a Bush Quayle ’88 t-shirt with concealed carry. Jokes on him, the staff has no idea who they are.